Reincarnating Into A Fantasy World As An Autonomous Machine Arsenal 50 Log 050: Legend Of Lod's Wives

The trio took on their first job, which was to explore the Severn dungeon and find a route from the ground floor, to floor 31—which contrary to what the number may suggest was deeper, not higher. Apparently, a lot of adventurers made a lot of income by finding these routes and selling them to the guild. The dungeon constantly changed, at certain time intervals, and finding routes allowed the one who discovered to receive royalties from every quest that was completed, using that route.

Finding routes was not the only profitable business. Some of the dungeon bosses resp.a.w.ned as well, and developing a strategy to take them down was also profitable—even more profitable than finding routes.

"Det don't want to kill goblin relative," Det said as he stood over the ledge in the dungeon.

On the floor 6, "The Silver Masks" as they were known, ran into their first enemy—Giant Rats. Not "giant" as in "dog-sized", "giant" as in "horse-sized". They were fast and powerful, sporting two ma.s.sive chompers on their jaw. They were numerous as well, at least two dozen stood between the trio and whatever lay beyond this obstacle.

"Det think rat is goblin relative?" Lod asked, looking over the ledge to the place where the rats were trying to climb the steep wall and get at the three adventurers.

"Of course they are," Det said.

"Det idiot. Rat not goblin relative!" Lod retorted.

"Are too."

"Det then go say hi to family!" Lod said, pus.h.i.+ng Det over the ledge.

Det released a girlish scream as he fell all of three meters and into the pack of ravenous rats.

"Lod traitor!" Det screamed as he nimbly climbed to his feet.

"What the matter, Det?" Lod asked, taunting Det. "Not happy to meet ancestor?"

Det growled as he wrestled with one of the rats, wrapping his scrawny arms around the giant rat's neck, and then lifting him up and above his head—straight as a plank—and then let gravity take him the rest of the way, smas.h.i.+ng the rat into another rat.

"Lod come help!" Det howled.

"Lod teach Det ancestry. Goblin related to Dragon! Not Rat!" Lod said, not making a single move to help Det.

"Don't be stupid! Goblin have no scales!" Det replied as he climbed to his feet just in time to stare down a charging giant rat.

A loud slap echoed in the tunnel as Det slapped the rat across the face. "Behave!" Det yelled at the rats. "Det come in peace!"

"What rat have that make rat goblin relative? Stupid!" Lod growled at the other goblin.

Det screamed all of a sudden. "Rat bite Det a.s.s!"

"Det lucky Det not fight Hyena. Hyena go for Det family jewels," Lod said from his safe, and superior, position.

"Det poor," Det said, growling as he pulled one of the rats to the ground and climbed onto its side. "Det no have jewels."

Lod slapped his forehead and sighed.

"Stop biting Det a.s.s!" Det yelled and kicked one of the rats hard enough to send the giant beast flying several meters. If Det actually were to get serious, he could slaughter them all in the blink of an eye. "Det no food! You food!"

Lod blinked. Food? Rat is food? Of course it is! "Det genius! Lod help!"

Lod yelled and jumped into the fray, drawing his silver sword which he collected from the pile of Somnus's "trash" so long ago.

"Rat prime rib!" Lod yelled as he chopped one of the rats right in half. "Rat beef! Rat brain!" Blood showered into the air as Lod cleaved through the rats, felling two at a time.

"No! Stop!" Det tried to intervene, but one of the rats chomped on his wrist and pulled him to the ground. "Lod! Don't kill rats!"

"Shut up!" Lod exclaimed. "This for Det good too."

Meanwhile, Somnus did not even pay attention to any of this happening. He was interested in something else. He could feel the presence of treasure thanks to his [Reclaim] skill. What Somnus learned was that this skill did not tell him the direction of ordinary treasure but instead told him of the presence of divine and ancient treasures. Reclaimers, to begin with, were named that because their Order was created to recover these treasures in the first place. What would later become the Adventurers Guild had its roots in the Order of the Reclaimers. Adventurers were just a watered down version of that, blindly stumbling in the dark and trying to earn their own slice of fame and wealth. They had no real mission or goal like the Reclaimers did. But what was really the Reclaimers mission? No one knew anymore.

"Det apologize to ancestors later…" Det said as he knelt over one of the corpses. All the rats had been brutally killed by Lod in the blink of an eye.

"Det thank ancestors later. Det butcher meat now. If Lod no feed family, family feed Det to rats. Then family eat fatter rats," Lod said as he sheathed his sword. There was not a drop of blood on that sword.

Det sneered. "Lod just make family sound scary. They no do that."

Lod turned his silver mask to Det and though his expression was not visible, his seriousness conveyed the necessary severity. "Det remember Grobb?"

Det nodded.

"Lod hear that Grobb fail to pay tax. So Grobb run to floor 80," Lod said.

Det tilted his head. "Floor 80? With big crocodile?"

Lod nodded.

"Grobb get eaten by crocodile! Ha! No wonder Grobb disappear!" Det said.

Lod shook his head. "Grobb make deal with Croc. Grobb say: Croc eat Grobb wives. Know what happen?"

Det cleared his throat and then shook his head.

"Grobb wives come to floor 80. They kill Croc. They kill Grobb. They make boots from Grobb and feed Croc to children."

"That stupid. Why not make boots from Cro—" Det began but Lod interrupted him by raising his hand.

"Then… Grobb wives drag Grobb corpse to floor 90…"

"With Bigger Croc!?" Det shouted in alarm.

Lod slowly nodded. "They feed Grobb children to big Croc, and then eat big Croc!"

Det blinked. "Lod no make this up?"

Lod shook his head and then looked over his shoulder. "So Lod, he feel bad. Lod good guy. Grobb was Lod friend…"

"Oh no…" Det whined.

Lod nodded. "Lod, out of goodness in heart, marry Grobb wives…"

Det swallowed, "No… no… no…"

"Lod say: Det good friend. He also take care of Lod wives," Lod whispered.

"No!!" Det shouted, his painful voice echoing in the tunnels.

"So, Lod too busy with being best and handsomest goblin…" Lod said.

Det was shaking his head, just repeating, "no." over and over again.

"And Lod decide to separate from wives. One night, Lod sleep in bed… when suddenly…"

Det covered his ears, "Det no want to know!"

Lod forced Det's hands away from his ear, "So one night… Lod get waken up by wives. In hand, first wife hold two berries."

"Berries?" Det asked.

"Berries." Lod nodded. "First wife crush berries and say: Time for separation tax. If no pay…"

"If no pay…?"

"Then what happen to berries, happen to Det."

"Det!? What about Lod?"

"Oh, Lod much worse happen. Det get easy death."

"Det run away. Det go to another country."

Lod shook his head. "No use. Grobb try to run. Wad try to run. They all dead."

"Det fight then!"

"Wives kill Big Croc. No use fighting. Croc try to fight. Big Croc try to fight. They all dead."

"Det… Det… Det is really screwed."

"No, Lod is screwed. Det only suffer for few hours."

"Hours?!"

"Maybe days. But not weeks. Oh no. Lod suffer for weeks."

Det got to his feet and drew his knife. "Screw ancestor. Det need meat," he exclaimed as he began cutting into the rat corpses.

Lod chuckled darkly.

"Are you done?" Somnus asked as he jumped off the ledge. "Continue advance."