From Past To Present, I Still Love You 148 The Letter

None of them knew of the tragedy that occurred inside that very hospital room.

Minhyun, contrary to his uncontrollable anger, was stone quiet. His skin was pale and his muscles tense. No one knew what he was thinking.

It was almost as if he was the one that died.

Yoona, on the other hand, was full of emotions. She knew Ji-ho wouldn't want her to cry so much over his death, but she couldn't help it. More tears began to well up in her eyes, knowing that she will never hear that teasing voice ever again.

What should they do? How do they react?

His body was cold. So cold. The warmth from his hands disappeared.

The happy voice that should be spoken out of his mouth was silent.

Sometimes, she would look, and then expect for him to jump up and say "It was a joke!".

But the body did not move. It was now reduced to a corpse.

There was no chance of making any memories anymore.

He was gone.

It was hard to take in. And even harder for her heart to come to deal with it.

When she looked up, her vision to blurry for her to see properly, but she could make out Minhyun's figure. He was swallowing his sadness.

She lifted her arms and gently wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I can't believe he's actually gone," she whispered.

She was met with a firm nod. She bit her lip, another wave of tears coming.

Minhyun.

He was not okay.

On the outside, it may seem like Yoona was more affected due to her tears but in their hearts, he was having a harder time dealing with the death.

It must be his first time experiencing the true pain of losing a loved one.

Was there anything she could do?

No. All she could do was stay by his side and let him know that he still had her.

—

After lingering in the hospital room, not feeling ready to leave. It was time to look for that letter Ji-ho mentioned right before he pa.s.sed.

The air was silent between them. The only thing said between them was physical. Minhyun's arm was wrapped around her as Yoona leaned her head against his shoulder.

When they arrived at their home, Yoona quickly ran into Ji-ho's room. What could've Ji-ho written? From first glance, there was no paper to be seen. Everything was tidy without prevail.

The first place she looked were the drawers next to the bed.

There was pens and notebooks in the first, but when she flipped through them, there was no letter that Ji-ho spoke of.

The second drawer held wires and computer parts.

When she got to the third, she was surprised to find a single piece of paper. From the format of the writing, she was safe to a.s.sume that this was it. Her breath was caught at the back of her throat. Her hands was shaky, barely able to hold the thin paper up in the air.

"Found it," she whispered.

Minhyun, who had been at the door, sat on the bed. "Let's read it."

She sat down beside of him and the two began to read.

--

Dear Yoona and Minhyun <>

It's your loveable and annoying Ji-ho here. If you're reading this then that means I have died. Sucks doesn't it? My thoughts exactly. But, it's the circle of life so there's really nothing I can do about it. And if any of you two are blaming yourselves for my death [I'm looking at you Yoona], it isn't your fault. It's my stupid body's...

From my calculations, at this moment, Yoona is probably crying her eyes out. I'm right aren't I? I can even imagine it right now, writing this letter. She's such an emotional girl. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

Yoona. Your eyes are going to get ugly. Stop crying. You'll ruin your pretty face.

Hm… To make you laugh, on a happy note, Jaemin said that you were an angel but guess who became an angel first? I did. I WON. Loser. But don't be discouraged yet, in a hundred years I'm sure you'll end up like me.

And Minhyun… I a.s.sume you'd be stone-faced. Am I right?

Probably…

Well, I won't be alive to see it, but knowing you, I would expect you to be that way.

Anyways. Let's get back to business. There's a purpose for this letter believe it or not. There's something I've been wanting to tell you guys. Really. Cutting all the s.h.i.+ts and giggles, I want to get serious.

And those words are.

I'm sorry.

I know I was annoying.

I know that I said some questionable things.

And yes, I abused my powers to control you guys to be with me.

Believe it or not, sometimes I felt really bad about my actions. I promise I'm not a bad guy. I just really cared about you two. In fact, there was times where I wished I could've turned back time to take back what I said. Sometimes, I don't realize the impact of my words until it escapes my mouth.

And so. For the first time in my life, i'm apologizing to someone.

Now, you two must be wondering: What will we do without Ji-ho in our lives?

My answer to you two is live happily.

As someone who experienced the pain of experiencing limited days, I want to tell you to live your days as if its your last. Everything you have now is not going to last.

Fate is unpredictable.

If you were going to die today, would you be happy with it? Are you going to be satisfied with everything you've done on earth?

Minhyun, even with a multi-billion company, are you happy with your lack of happy memories? Yoona, are you happy with not experiencing all the joys of life and work?

In the end, I want you guys, to live life as if you were in my position.

The reason to why I was able to meet you guys was because I decided to change my life and to live this way. It was the best decision of my life. Therefore, I want to return that happiness to you.

Remember. YOU only have one life. A single one.

You are only going to be a young adult for a few years. You will only be in your thirties for ten years. When you turn into a grandma, you will not be able to experience the same things as you did when you were younger.

I want you guys to live.

You only have one shot.

This today of yours, is the precious tomorrow I could've experienced if I didn't pa.s.s away. Make it count. Every second is special.

Well, now that I'm running out of paper, I guess this is goodbye then… Please, don't cry that much for me. I probably died really happily. You guys did everything that you could.

Love, Jiho.

P.S. YOU BETTER NAME YOUR CHILD JI-HO OR I SWEAR TO G.o.d I WILL HAUNT YOU GUYS TILL YALLS HAIR TURN WHITE.

P.P.S Yoona you can have my bank account. Now you're not poor anymore :p

--

Minhyun read the letter silently.

Yoona, who was beside of him, tried her best to stop her tears. He let out a smile as he watched her, before returning back to the contents of the paper.

That b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

Who was Ji-ho to tell him what to do? It was clear that a lot of the 'live your life' narratives were targeted towards him.

His heart hurt yet again.

Minhyun didn't want to admit, but Ji-ho reminded him of his younger self in some ways. Both were prodigies in their own rights. Both had lonely childhoods: while Ji-ho was an orphan, Minhyun's family did not deserve the t.i.tle of 'family'. And both of them lacked human love.

But, after being placed in a deep situation with his illness, he was able to realize the problems with his lifestyle and changed it for the better.

Even in his grave, Ji-ho was telling him to live his life happily.

G.o.d d.a.m.n. Annoying brat.

Minhyun stood up from the bed and quickly excused himself. He asked Yoona if she wanted to come with him but she said that she wanted to stay in Ji-ho's room a bit longer. He was fine with this.

Minhyun just wanted to go back into his room. He needed to time to think.

Upon reaching his own bed, he noticed a rip piece of paper on the bedside. He froze for a moment, thinking about what it could possibly be, before picking it up.

His hands shook as he read the contents.

--

You are not a monster. You deserve to be loved. Never forget this.

As long as you are able to touch, speak, feel warmth, and love, you are human.

Don't let your past sins weigh you down. Look towards the future.

Take your first step with Yoona.

---

Ji-ho knew everything.

He calculated that he was possibly going to pa.s.s away that day. He also carefully thought out of ways to minimize the pain of his death. And he knew about the demons Minhyun struggled with and wanted to help fix it.

Minhyun placed the paper down carefully, his hands shaking vigorously, and he placed his hands over his eyes.

And then, he cried. More tears had fallen at this moment than the sum of the twenty-four years of his life.