The Foolhardies 156 Tall Tale

It wasn't difficult to find Chris Pint's tent. All we had to do was look for the biggest and most extravagant ones, the kind you'd see at an outdoor wedding party.

Luca and I were let in through the double-doors-sized tent flap by two viseres in their resplendent silver armor.

The sight of them made me jealous of the wealth that their master flaunted. I would love to outfit the entire Foolhardies in similar gear.

As expected, the interior s.p.a.ce was huge, enough for a dozen people to lounge about while maintaining their social distance. The flooring was fur carpets of all kinds of Fayne beasts. Plush couches and divans filled the s.p.a.ce. And that bed at the far end was at least two king sizes big.

At the moment, only three people occupied the tent, but signs of a recently concluded party were evident. Bowls of half-eaten fruits and mugs lay scattered on the floor.

"I invited your friends to join me for lunch but they declined," Chris Pint said as he lounged on the plushest couch in the tent. "I don't think they like me much."

There was an easy smile on his face as he invited me and Luca to join him.

The red-headed she-elf Thea was attending Chris Pint, feeding him grapes with her hand while she sat next to him. There were also two other females lounging on seats behind him, a dark-haired pixie and a human blonde. Both of them, like Thea, were dressed in the skimpiest, most revealing outfits I'd ever seen.

My cheeks burned at the sight of these scantily clad women, and I was almost certain they'd turned the color of apples. Luca was no better. His own face looked flushed as he tried his best not to stare. We were quite the inexperienced pair, my brother and I. It was a fact that made the Lord of Stars laugh out loud.

"You two really are kids, aren't you?" he asked as he caressed Thea's shoulder.

"Um," I racked my brain for a way to change the mood, "You said you wanted to talk, right?"

Chris Pint nodded. Then he took his arm off his companion and leaned toward me and Luca.

"First thing's first, I like to know who I'm dealing with… Is it true that you jumped into the Fayne of your own free will," he glanced first at me and then Luca, "so you could save your little brother, here?"

I nodded wordlessly.

"Like I've been saying, you've got cahones, kiddo," he said, leaning back into the embrace of Thea. "Now, you two tell me a story, a good one, and maybe I might just tell you what you want to know."

"What kind of story?" Luca asked while looking uncomfortable with the intimacy being displayed in front of him.

"I want to know your story… the story of the fiery brothers' Dapper, who, from what I hear, are the Trickster Pavilion's prodigies of war. The genius strategist older brother and the fearless warrior younger brother," Chris Pint revealed.

Both Luca and I looked back at him with surprise. We didn't know our names had spread to the southern regions because our accomplishments hadn't been that big yet.

"Ha," Chris Pint laughed. "Bet you two didn't know you were getting famous, huh? Well, that's to be expected… at least among viseres, your names are starting to spread. So let me hear your story and I'll tell you mine."

Luca and I glanced at each other. He shrugged, and I agreed. There was nothing to lose by telling our tale to this extravagant man since he promised to share information we wouldn't learn from anywhere else.

So, I began the tale while Luca b.u.t.ted in to correct my embellishments, and we were well into the night before we finished.

Weirdly enough, at the end of our long story, Chris Pint was on the verge of tears.

"Man, I love that underdog story. Really shows your strength of character," he wiped at his eyes with the back of his arm. "Especially about that part with your mom getting cursed like that… rough, bros."

"Wait… what?" My eyebrows rose up, up, and away. "You think our mom was cursed?"

"Oh, yeah, for sure," he said, glancing toward Thea for confirmation. "Those symptoms definitely sound like a fay curse, right, love?"

Thea nodded.

"There are elements of mind flaying and enchanted sleep in your description… at a guess, I would say some advanced form of thrall curse has been done to her to keep her in that near-vegetable state," Thea explained. "Although I'm uncertain… such things are very hard to diagnose."

"B-but none of our healers in the Pavilion could figure it out…" Luca reasoned. "They never said it was fairy-related…"

"They never ruled it out, either," I said, sounding defensive of Aura's attempts to cure mom. I turned my gaze on Thea. "Would you… would you know how to cure her?"

Inside me, the spark of hope was growing. If there was a chance these people knew how to help mom, then this entire arrangement would prove worth it after all.

Thea shook her head. "As I've said, curses are hard to diagnose much less cure…"

Both Luca and I deflated at her words, and seeing us upset softened the features of the pretty red-head.

"But," she continued. "More often than not, the cure has to do with what caused the curse… Perhaps the return of your brother to Mudgard would break it."

That was something I'd been mulling over for ages now, the fact that Luca coming home might cure mom. Hearing another person say it out loud just made this sound more like a realistic option for me. As if I didn't have enough reasons to bring Luca home. Now, he might actually be the only chance to saving mom from the prison of her own mind.  

Chris Pint sniffed, "Man, you guys got it rough… but you're still hanging in there. F**king big cahones, I tell you."

He gave us a few slow claps to emphasize how impressed he was with us brothers. Then he offered us each a gla.s.s of spirits which we declined.

"You said you'd tell us your story if we told you ours," I reminded him.

Chris Pint spent the next few seconds eyeing me and Luca. But, eventually, he began to tell us his story.

"My story's not so different from yours, to be honest," he started. "I came here as a slave too… although I chose to be one over my life in Mudgard."

Both Luca and I spared a glance at each other before we urged him to continue.

Chris Pint revealed to us that he was an orphan from Los Angeles City in the good old US of A. He was down on his luck, penniless, and being chased by the police for minor misdemeanors such as robbery and grand theft auto.

"Those are minor?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You want to tell my story, kid?" he countered.

I shook my head and apologized for my interruption.

"I was approached by a fairy who asked me if I wanted to rewrite my own stars…" He glanced fondly at Thea. "The best deal I made in my life… even if sh*t happened afterward."

Chris Pint would reveal that after Thea brought him into the Fayne, he was turned into an indentured soldier much like Luca's, but unlike our honorable Patriarch and his council, the lords of the Starfall clan were, in his words, "The worst sc.u.m in the universe."

In many of the southern clans, the practice of gladiatorial combat was a big deal. The Starfall Clan was no exception, and Chris Pint was a gladiator, and according to him, the very best there was. But even a champion like him couldn't escape the abuses laid on him by his masters, the depraved b.a.s.t.a.r.ds who forced him into every little vice imaginable.

"Is that why you're so… quirky?" Luca asked.

Chris Pint laughed. "You know, little brother, that might actually be the reason."

Eventually, with the support of his fellow viseres and like-minded fairies like Thea, Chris Pint began a rebellion.

"This was the real reason Thea picked me up, you see," Chris admitted. "She thought I had cohones big enough to overthrow the lords of Starfall, and I did."

For emphasis, he grabbed the edge of his pants, and I rolled my eyes at him. He laughed again.

Chris Pint told us how he and his rebel army of more than a hundred thousand slaves of different races obliterated the forces of the Starfall Clan. He even told us how he personally cut off the heads of the clan Patriarch and his lackeys and then placed them atop spikes that still decorate his castle gates to this day.

"They deserved no less," Thea agreed. "Those indulgent greedy, hateful fools nearly caused the ruin of our clan… if Chris hadn't come and rescued us, the Starfall clan wouldn't exist today."

The two of them embraced after that. Then they kissed, and it was so intimate that Luca and I averted our eyes.

Chris laughed at us, and then, with a knowing gaze at me, he said, "But that's not what you want to here, is it? There's something else worming inside that big brain of yours…"

"I appreciate you telling us your origin story, though, kind of gives us hope that things won't be so dark for us too," I admitted before my face turned into one of determination. "But I want you to tell me… I want an explanation… what the h.e.l.l is a sense knight?"