The Foolhardies 226 Smackdown!

"Tell that to the sweat dripping down your face," Luca countered. Then he sighed. "She's here to scold us… isn't she?" 

 "Probably," I answered while my eyes searched the sky. 

Luca and I were waiting on the roof of Hoodwink Tower for Great General Darah to arrive. The others were down in the Great Hall, where I left managing the banquet planned for Darah's visit to Aura and Arah. 

Yes, it is exactly what you're thinking, dear reader. I was hoping a hearty meal and copious amounts of alcohol would soften Darah up a bit — might even decommission that iron fist of hers for the rest of the night.

Why would I go to such trouble just to appease her, you ask? Well, that's because Luca was right. Yeah, Darah was definitely arriving because she had major clan business in the Westmarch, but that didn't mean she wouldn't tie up a few loose strings during her visit. 

I know my unit did pretty well in the last war. h.e.l.l, the council even commended us for our efforts, even gave me a raise. Not that I know what to do with all the money I've acc.u.mulated. But Darah had been very tight lipped about the whole affair. Especially since there were a number of things she wouldn't have approved of. Losing to Garm in our three-on-one would be chief among them. Working with the Pilgrimage, that was probably high up on the list as well. In truth, any number perceived failures was enough to get my head smacked by that d.a.m.n Iron Fist. 

 "She'll turn both of our personal losses to Garm into an excuse for more… training," Luca guessed. 

My little brother was shaking in his boots, and he was right to feel that way. After all, Darah didn't know the meaning of the word 'moderation'. 

"Luca, it'll be—"

My a.s.surances were cut short by the sight of a winged deer-like creature circling the skies above. It was Darah's peryton. It was flanked on both sides by a dozen pegasi. 

"They know our roof isn't big enough to fit all of their party, right?" Luca asked. 

"Probably," I answered. 

Luca and I stepped back as the peryton began to land, its flapping wings sending the wind in every direction — forcing us to cover our eyes with our arms. 

By the time my vision cleared, I was staring into the grinning face of the golden-haired Great General Darah who was standing right in front of me. 

She was backlit, like a superhero's silhouette produced from the brilliant light of Idunn above her. 

"You two look scrawnier than I last saw you," Darah noted. "Is my niece not feeding you enough?" 

"It's good to see you too, ma'am," I answered right before Luca and I saluted her. 

As Darah saluted us back, two more pegasi managed to land on our roof while the remaining ten circled their way down to the tower grounds. 

I watched two familiar figures dismounted from their pegasi, and then heard a groan escape my lips. 

"On, no," I whispered. 

"Dapper!" called the short and very rotund dwarf with the great beard covering half his face. "I hear you've been running my niece ragged." 

"You couldn't bring Thors with you instead?" I frowned. 

Thor manages the eastern territories in my absence," Darah stated matter-of-factly. "Plus, it seemed more interesting to bring Vardoom with me." 

The other person standing beside the grumbling dwarf was another one of Darah's officers. She was a pretty fairy with long, flowing watery hair and skin as blue as the deep blue sea. 

It had been a while since I'd seen Four-Thousand-man Commander Unna Ra Lara, the nicest of Darah's officers. So when she waved at me, I waved back. 

"Alright, enough of the pleasantries," Darah said as she brushed past me and made her way toward the stairs that led down into the tower interior. "I a.s.sume you have a training room in this base of yours." 

Both Luca and I groaned at exactly the same time. 

Darah glanced over her shoulder. "It's been a while since I've showed you two some love."

---

"Come on, Luca," Darah yelled at my little brother while her foot was lodged right at my throat. "You'll need to do much better if you want to save your brother from a bruised wind pipe." 

For added emphasis, Darah increased the pressure of her foot on my neck.

"Tap… out," I wheezed, and I managed to tap the mat as well, but Darah wasn't about to let me go after she'd smacked me to the ground with a few well-placed blows of her fists. 

"See," Darah called. "Dean's getting delirious… he actually thinks I might let him go." 

"Let him go, general," Luca warned. 

It wasn't very convincing as even I could see his hands shaking while he held his claymore aloft. 

"Make me," Darah countered. 

Luca charged with his claymore raised high. 

Einstein said that doing things over and over again and expecting a different result was the very definition of insanity. If that was the case, then my little brother was clearly insane. 

This was his fifth attempt to charge Darah from the front, the last of which, caused me to rescue him and get myself pinned down for my efforts. 

So color me surprised when instead of getting right into Darah's range, Luca opted to fling his claymore right at her. 

Even Darah looked momentarily thrown back, although it was easy enough for her to parry the flying greatsword with just her fist. 

I saw it, the build-up of arcane energy flowing into her fist just at the moment before its impact with Luca's weapon. 

However, in the time it took Darah to swat the claymore away like it was nothing more than a gnat, Luca had already slid under her guard. 

He'd used the claymore as a feint while he performed a sliding tackle aimed at the leg that held me captive. 

It was a good idea, and if it were anyone else it might even have worked. But Luca failed to take into account the fact that Darah had two fists. And as he slid forward to rescue me, Darah's other fist came slamming down his back in a wallop that made me grit my teeth to watch. 

"And this is why you lost to Garm," Darah said with a shake of her head. "You're both brilliant in warfare but you lack experience in duels." 

She kept us both pinned in that awkward position while she explained what we did wrong against her and what we should have done instead. 

And just to be a rebel, I said, "I can see your underwear…" 

This earned me another smack in the head, of course. 

And while the pain reverberated across my skull, I heard Darah say, "Looks like you haven't had nearly enough training… we���ll go again." 

It was nearly an hour later when Commander Unna accompanied by Aura appeared in the training hall. By that time, both Luca and I were so battered and bruised that I imagined Berrian's healing potions would have little effect on us.

Aura knelt at my side with a face that was equal parts concerned and amused. 

"Are you okay?" she asked. 

I sat up. "Now you arrive… after I look like this?" 

"I was under strict orders not to interrupt the great general's playtime," she answered in an amused tone. 

Aura dabbed a wet towel over my brow. It was nice. Sadly, this dream-like situation was quickly interrupted by her aunt. 

"Get yourself cleaned, Dean," she ordered. "I want you in the meeting with me." 

"Meeting?" I asked confused. 

"Ah, yes," Aura answered for Darah. "It seems like my aunt invited a very important guest tonight… I wish she'd told us. We could have made the tower look more appropriate…"

"Yes, it'll be a sore spot for him that this place is such a mess," Darah laughed. 

"Who's here, Aura?" I asked worriedly. 

I could only imagine what kind of monster did Darah invite into our home this time. 

Aura sighed. "Lord Rah's here…"