The Humble Noble Wanderer 48 The Deer

He saw that the stream emptied out into the ocean in the distance, and he drank from it.

After He had drank his stomach full, he looked at his cracking skin and dirty clothes and decided to take a bath in the river. He walked to river and jumped in. He didn't need to worry about drying his clothes, because he could light a fire, but the clothes wouldn't come off anyway since they were stuck to his body.

Leo wiped the dirt off of his exposed skin with his hands, and he let the cool water seep a chill into his body. He saw a deer look at him, and he looked at the deer. They made eye contact. He pierced its head with flames. He got out of the river, as he watched the blood run down the hill and into the stream.

He got up and out of the river. He walked to the deer's corpse, and he saw that the deer had child that struggled to run away. 'It must be a newborn,' Leo thought. The young deer walked up to its mother's corpse and cried. He heard the cry, and his heart was torn in two.

Leo thought, 'Am I not about to do the same to those of the Seven Mountains? Will I not make children Fatherless and Mother's more vulnerable than ever? Will I not be as bad as King Brimstone? Does a wrong make a right, and can I justify taking the lives of many for a just cause...? Can I?'

He walked to the corpse, and the young deer ran away. It looked reluctantly behind at the corpse of its Mother, but its instinct to run from danger superseded every emotion in its heart. It saw its mother's killer. It saw the being of death.

Leo stared at the fresh corpse he had created. He had not considered the implications of killing so deeply as he had when he was put face to face with it as an adult. King Brimstone turned him into a killing machine, brainwas.h.i.+ng him, but now that he was sober, from a long journey, and trekking the plains with no water in sight except the water he received from kind wanderers like himself.

He had not considered the implications of killing before, not that he had not considered the notion, but that he had not forced himself to confront it at the deepest level of his dark psyche. He saw the corpse of the deer, and he felt guilt.

But, he was hungry, and he hadn't eaten anything for days.

'If the protection of G.o.d includes the death of others, how can I live with this knowledge?' Leo thought, 'I didn't think about the consequences on purpose, but now I need to know.'

'But do I?' Leo thought.
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'Yes, I must know,' He thought, 'For if I take the lives of others, surely I will answer to G.o.d on judgement day for the loss of their lives, even if my cause is just, even if the order is from G.o.d."

'Yes, who is to say that I won't enjoy their death? Who is to say I won't hurt leave children fatherless and the widows vulnerable? Who is to say that I won't hate those I kill, when they are human just like me? Who am I? Who am I to wage war, and kill?'

Leo knelt on his knees and prayed. He prayed to the G.o.d of heavenly lights. He prayed to the G.o.d of glory upon glory. He said in his heart, 'Lord Jesus, when I kill in your name, to bring justice upon King Brimstone, may you forgive me of my sins. May the greater good be accomplished, though I be consumed by the horror of war? I believe you have the power to forgive me of my sins.'

He knelt their in G.o.dly sorrow for the lives that he would take. He wept with bitter tears from a heart that could not handle the plans of G.o.d. He wept, because he needed help. He wept because he needed hope, hope that after King Brimstone was gone, justice would reign, and all would be well: but the Holy Spirit did not answer him in this way.

The Holy Spirit sent a message to Leo: it said, "There will be more corruption, but my grace is sufficient for you and the entire world.There will come a day when the Messiah, my son Jesus will come, and in his first coming, he will usher in peace. In his second coming, he will destroy, everything tainted by sin, without his forgiveness. My ways are higher than yours, so do not let your heart condemn you, and let us reason together--that you may understant what you are able to understand."

Leo then knelt over the corpse of the mother dear, and he said, "Thank you for this meal, may it nourish my body, to do Your will."

And so, Leo ate of the deer's corpse, and he was filled. His body was given energy, and he thought of a place that he remembered all too well: Little Vicious Village.

"It's time to return," he said, "To the grave of Hannah and her children."

"It's time to return," he said, "To my homeland, to kill the dictator, and free my people."

The clouds rolled, and they were white. He looked up and saw a hint of blue peeking out from between the clouds, and he knew he was blessed to have seen the sky. He knew that G.o.d had a plan for him, but shadow of war loomed as thunder clouds over the morning. He knew that he would kill. He knew that he would have to answer to G.o.d on judgement day, for all that he had done, under the sun.