Love Lists To The Universe 5 Chapter 5 : Digging The Soil

I read again the diary of Red. I cried inside my room. All of his regrets were written and it is too late.

If only he said early that he loves me then I won't be afraid of fighting for our love.

After my worked, I visited him daily. I drive on my own.I touched his hand and stayed for a long time. I decided to nightly visit him and watch him sleeping.

I choose Red, though I also had feelings for Louie.

Yes, Red often makes me feel bad but I loved him so much. He is my world. He imprinted all good and bad memories in my mind. I won't forgive myself if I didn't make any action just to show how much I loved him.

I observed him and prayed for him to wake up. I even helped his parents and relative in taking care of him.

Sometimes I was left in his room and all night be there for him.

I once brought kitkats and eat inside. I cried while eating because it reminds me of him. He loves eating kitkat because it is my favorite chocolate that I often give to him whenever he is sad.

I am so helpless when his family decides to remove all of his life support and will donate his body organs to those who needed. They thanked me for everything and for all of my efforts but their decision won't change anymore.

I nightly cried inside my room and Louie was worrying to me. So he everyday gives me white roses and tries to be funny all the time.

After one week, Red's mother called me and said that Red is now at heaven.

I don't react because he is no longer alive and I think I must burn his diary or throw it to the beach.

I lost him without telling that I love him too and I want to spend my life with him.

It was my fault. I prioritized my pride first rather than surrendering my feelings.

I moved away and ignored him because I want him out of my life.

Now I am blaming myself and can't move on.

I am hurt deeply by what the fate has given to me.So I never talked for 3 days to Louie. I just often sit near our red tree after worked.One day I looked down to the soil and remember my dream. This is my dream when Red is digging the soil and gets a paper.

I dig it and shocked to found the paper in the bottle.

"It was true..." I silently said.

I opened it and saw my handwritten 10 years ago.

It was my Love List for my dream man.

I read it and here's my lists:

Love Lists:

My guy is:

u003eSweet

u003eKind

u003eRespectful

u003eLiked by my father and liked my father

u003eLoves me so much

u003eFamous.

u003ehard working

u003emakes me feel so special

u003egives me freedom

u003egood in decision making

u003enever criticize others

u003enever get angry or hold grudge on others

u003eSuper attracted to me

u003eFunny

u003eloves to cook

u003eCaring

u003eattractive

u003eWants to help the world

u003enever thinks of cheating

u003eproud of me

u003eAdventurous

u003emoney is flowing in him

u003eWants to travel with me

u003es.e.xy or good body appearance

u003eloves dogs

u003esame energies of me

u003enever doubt on me

u003ewear eyegla.s.ses

u003eIntelligent

u003eequal or more than 5'7 tall

u003epointed nose

u003echinito

u003egood a.n.a.lytical skills

u003egood in math and verbal

u003ewants to kiss me, hug me, and touch me

u003ehonest to me

u003ethinks of me every break time of work

u003ehumble

u003ewealthy

u003ewhen he first saw me, he thinks I am pretty and likes me

u003ehis family was well known and highly respected

u003ehis parents likes me

u003espontaneous when with me

u003eonly guy who kisses my hand and touches my cheek

u003ehealth conscious

u003ehelpful

u003eloves giving gifts to me

u003estrong willed

u003etake good care of himself

u003eloves combing my hair and wants me to comb his hair

u003eoptimist

u003ebrings me high

u003eoften gives me roses

u003eTrust me

u003eloves the world

u003eknows how to drive a car

u003eadmired by all

u003ehave formal manners

u003eloves reading my novel

u003egood in advising

u003ewhite skin

u003e healthy hair

u003e loves singing

u003esupports my dream

u003eknows to play any kind of instrument

u003egood in handling money

u003ebalance in work and relations.h.i.+p

u003eambitious

u003eunderstanding

u003esame beliefs as mine

u003etrust me

u003eloves to paint

u003eI am his dream girl

u003etreat me like a princess or his Queen

u003efamily oriented

u003egood in dealing with people

u003edoesn't talk so much

u003efas.h.i.+onable and neat appearance

u003etaking care of me

u003eteach me on beautiful things

u003eorganize on all things

u003ealways find ways to be with me

u003eprotects me

u003ecalls me every night just to say I LOVE YOU

u003eloves color white

u003eI am his second and last girlfriend (forever love)

u003ewants to settle down with me

u003eFaithful to G.o.d

u003eHighly blessed

u003eEducated —course related to Engineering/Psychology/Computer/Accounting

u003eAccepts me for who I am

u003eHides my weakness and gives me strength

u003eAge is within 25 to 30

u003ehe will say that I am his dream girl

u003ehe will say that he wants me to be his lady

u003etells me if he is jealous on other guys

Out of 90, he got 17 from the characteristics. Most of them describes Louie but I am not sure if this love list works. I don't care because there is no miracle that will happen even if I read this.

This is only a fairy tale that I had written when I imitate Ophra's advised to order the man of my dream from the Universe.

I wish it was Red but it is too late.

I looked down and tears fall quickly in my cheeks while I am reading my lists.

There was a last sentence written on my wishlist. I read it and became relax for no reason.

"Dear Universe, I wish that this guy exists, so that we can both love and nurture the world together." My last sentence.

"This guy is impossible. No one exist like this." I silently said and wiped my tears.