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He hadn't slept for more than a couple of hours, and the couple of hours he did sleep were filled with nightmares. He tried to remember what they were when he woke up and couldn't, and decided that was just as well.
He knew what had brought his nightmares about even though he couldn't remember them. He was about to leave the apartment where he'd spent all his life. He was about to leave it for good, or maybe bad - whatever. He wouldn't be coming back.
It made him sad, which was odd, because his time there hadn't been a happy one. But the apartment had become a part of his life, an important part. Lying on his bed and staring into the darkness, Li Yang realized that was how things worked. You could love or hate someone or something, it didn't matter: an emotional investment in something meant it became a part of your life. It would stay with you forever no matter what happened next, no matter how hard you tried to forget all about it and get on with your new life.
The lights had been working for over a week, but he got up and got dressed in darkness: he'd gotten used to that. Jake Donato would be coming shortly: he'd promised to be there by one o'clock in the morning. At two o'clock, the whole team would leave the apartment on Mott Street and begin the journey to Fairhaven, the little town on Chesapeake Bay where Harper Lee's friend owned a small farm.
There were six of them: Li Yang and Jake Donato, Harper and Charlene Lee, and Harper's friend Bobby plus his Russian girlfriend, Olga. Bobby and Olga had arrived the previous day, and were sleeping in Rose Fogerty's former bedroom.
Li Yang wasn't impressed with Olga any more than he'd been impressed with Bobby. She had short spiky blond hair and a total of seven rings installed in various parts of her face: two in each earlobe, one in each eyebrow, and one in her nose. The rings were thin and elegant, but to Li Yang they still meant that Olga was one of the people his mother used to call the new barbarians. She'd been convinced that their appearance meant civilization was about to die.
As he dressed, Li Yang thought - not for the first time - that she had been right.
He still felt that way when everyone had a.s.sembled and they set out, leaving the apartment block on the stroke of two o'clock. The night was dark, but the night wasn't silent: they heard an army vehicle growl past on a neighboring street. They all felt very rea.s.sured by that sound. Heavy military presence was all that kept New York from erupting into one big battleground.
Naturally, Harper Lee was the leader of their little band.
"All right," he said when they'd all emerged onto the pavement, "All right! People, we're beginning a journey towards a better future. We all want a better future. Let's not f.u.c.k that up. So, to start with, please make sure your weapons are both well-hidden and easily accessible."
"That's a contradiction in terms," said Olga. Although Li Yang had known her for just a few hours, he'd already identified her as someone difficult: hard to understand, hard to like, hard to get to agree with anything that was proposed.
"Life is a contradiction in terms," Harper said. "You're born in order to die. We're going to run across a lot of army and police patrols. I'm the only one that has a gun permit. I want those guns well hidden, you hear me?"
He spoke softly, but everyone heard him very well.
"Okay," said Harper, when he was satisfied with their silence. "I'll ride in front. We come across a patrol, let me handle that. Charlene, you ride second. And can everyone understand right now I'm not favoriting Charlene. I'm using her. A family story always works well, if anyone starts asking a lot of questions."
"Thank you for using me, Harper," said Charlene, and Bobby laughed.
"Okay," Harper said again. "Bobby, you and the rickshaw come next. Olga next, Li Yang and Jake bring up the rear. Everyone fine with that?"
Li Yang wasn't fine with that. He didn't like the idea. He wanted to be close to the front- not up front, being the one in the front always meant extra danger - but second, or third. He turned to Jake and said:
"You and I, we better ride side by side."
Jake nodded.
"Very good idea," he said.
They set off. Almost right away, they heard the pop of a distant gunshot, and everyone gripped their handlebars a little bit tighter. They saw no one until they reached the Holland Tunnel. An army APC was parked in front of the entrance. There were five soldiers sitting or standing around it: three black, one tan - Indian? It was hard to tell in the light - and one white. The white soldier was in the process of taking a hit from a blunt when they came by. He continued to smoke it even when one of the black guys, wearing numerous stripes on his sleeve, shouted:
"Hey! You guys! Halt!"
They all stopped, obediently. The striped commander unglued his a.s.s from the side of the patrol vehicle, and walked a few steps up to Harper, stopping midway. Li Yang noted that one of his hands hovered over the b.u.t.t of his gun.
"Okay," said the striped commander, sounding very much like Harper Lee. "Who are you? Where are you coming from? Where are you going? And why?"
"We're residents of New York, leaving for the country," Harper answered with great dignity. "A friend of ours owns a farm in Virginia. We're going to join him."
"Wise move," said one of the black guys.
"Shut up," said the striped commander. "You carrying any weapons or drugs?"
"I have a registered handgun," Harper said, "And my sister here is taking medication for her nerves. She has her doctor's prescription with her, if you'd like to check."
"I wouldn't," the striped commander told him. "I don't give a f.u.c.k. Now listen. You going down to Virginia, keep to the main roads. We got plenty of patrols there. You take another route and someone f.u.c.ks your a.s.s, you've only got yourselves to blame. Get it?"
"You mean we could run into bandits?" said Harper Lee.
"Of course you can run into bandits. You're guaranteed to run into them sooner or later. Everyone's going apes.h.i.+t. Once you get out of the city, it might be a good idea to keep to the side roads."
"I understand," said Harper Lee.
"I'm not sure you do."
The white guy sitting with his legs dangling over the side of the vehicle let out an evil cackle.
"Kowalski," said the striped commander, "When I hear you laugh, I lose all faith I have in mankind and the meaning of life. Shut up."
"I'm sorry, sir," said Kowalski, and Li Yang was sure he'd heard him stifle another cackle.
"I told you to shut up."
Kowalski prudently remained silent.
"Okay," repeated the striped commander. "Carry on. Keep an eye out. Something's funny, you fire that gun of yours," he said, looking at Harper. "Some of our boys will be within earshot for sure, and they'll come running. Or riding or whatever."
"Thank you," said Harper Lee.
They got back on their bikes and went into the tunnel. Only every fifth light was lit; the magneto-powered bicycle lights cast wavering, weak beams on the road ahead. Li Yang felt this was a prophecy of sorts. What would happen once they got to their destination? What could happen before they got to their destination? His future was full of question marks. Luckily, he was used to that.
It seemed everyone else was used to it, too. They rode on in a determined silence; in Li Yang's ears, the loudest noise was the rattle of his bicycle chain. It was pretty slack, but he'd been frightened of making it tight. The bicycle Harper Lee had found for him was pretty old. Bicycles were worth their weight in gold,
"It cost me a hundred paper dollars and one of Charlene's bracelets," Harper had told him. "Here's some WD 40. Get it in good shape, it's got to travel five hundred miles."
Of course, Harper's gift wasn't a gift. In exchange, Li Yang had to part with more than half of the implant kits he had. He now had exactly eight left. He didn't feel bad about giving most of the implant kits to Harper. It made it much more less likely Harper would kill him for the kits he still had.
They didn't leave the city before dawn. They were stopped by numerous other army patrols along the way. Luckily, none of those wanted to search their baggages. Without any doubt, there would've been numerous difficulties if then soldiers discovered all the other guns.
They left the city for good just as the sun was rising. Melting ice crystals cast a light show: sparkles of blue, purple, yellow, pure white. Li Yang watched them sparkle and die as he pedaled on, and couldn't help hoping that he would sparkle too before he died.
Wasn't that all he could hope for? Wasn't that what he wanted to do?
His family had been erased. He was the only one left. It was all up to him.
As the dawn broke over the wet, dark road he gritted his teeth and promised himself he would leave a mark. Deep and strong enough to be seen by many future generations.
And the moment he'd thought it, the sun came up over the horizon and said yes, yes, yes.
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