Rise Of The Godking 57 The Crazy Uncle

[Target scanned and a.n.a.lysed. Data collected and a.n.a.lysed.

Mission: "Uncover the power of the Gluttons" has progressed.

Please scan one more individual to finish mission.]

Daneel was roused from his deep slumber by the cold voice of the system. At first, he couldn't comprehend a word of what it was telling him as it felt that a haze had covered his mind, rendering him forgetful of where he was, and why there seemed to be something soft on his face.

He tried to get up, but the weight of whatever was on top of him was too much. He struggled harder, and when he finally felt it move, he looked to the side and gawked, finding something he could never have antic.i.p.ated.

A dwarf with his pants down had been sitting on his face. The only reason he knew that this was what the little being had been doing was that he had s.h.i.+fted position to sit on Reese's face, whose snores became m.u.f.fled soon after. The dwarf was actually sleeping, with one hand on his leg propping up his head, his eyes fluttering with each breath he took and his chest rising and falling evenly with each second that pa.s.sed.

Daneel slowly got to his feet, and as he looked around, his astonishment only grew. Half naked dwarves were everywhere around him, all of them asleep and none of them in a position that could be called at least halfway decent. It was only when he felt the soft wind around his extremities that he looked down and found that his pants were down, too, and as he scrambled to pull them up, he heard a low laugh from somewhere behind him.

His face and ears burning, he whirled around and found the steward of the dwarves caressing his beard and struggling to stop the fit of laughter whose slave he had become. After finally controlling himself, he gestured with his hand and began to walk away, and without further ado, Daneel followed, really not wanting to stay where he was any longer.

On the way, he saw that the dwarf king had slipped on his chair, his head resting on the wall of the cave behind him, one of his ma.s.sive legs stretched out in front on which at least 20 dwarves were sleeping. He gingerly made his way past all the little ones on the ground, and as he neared the pa.s.sageway to the dining hall, a rank smell reached his nose.

As he wrinkled it in response, the steward looked back and chuckled again before saying, "You're the main reason behind that stink, you know, and you're the one irritated by it? Oh, that's funny! The cleaners are going to be very, very angry unless I reward them, somehow!"

Daneel frowned, still not understanding, at all, what had happened. Hurrying forward to get beside the steward, he asked, "I don't remember a single thing, except downing a whole bottle of that yellow stuff! What happened after that?"

The old man raised one eyebrow and looked Daneel up and down before answering.

"Oh, so you're that kind of a drunkard? One who blacks out when he goes past his limit? I'll give you a short gist… your friend from above went into a long reminiscence of his brother, and everything the man loved doing. Among those memories, one of them was about how they had a p.i.s.sing contest when they were little kids which his brother always won. To 'honor' his memory, you suggested the same. And then… the children joined in, so you should be able to guess what followed. If you're curious… the king was the one who won by drenching twenty of his children when he pulled down his pants and sent forth a veritable flood. Great job in showing me something I've never seen in my life!"

Starting to chortle to himself again, the steward continued on the way while Daneel stood where he was and tried to come to terms with what he had just heard. He tried to imagine the scene of the dwarf king entering the fray… which made him shudder, and decide that he should never act mess with alcohol again.

As he hurried forward again, he remembered that he had heard something from the system and asked it to repeat the notification.

Happiness finally bubbled up inside him when he heard that he had succeeded in touching his brother, even though he didn't remember how. He contemplated, for a moment, whether he should ask and find out…but after imagining them somehow coming into contact with each other with their p.e.c.k.e.rs hanging out, he decided against the idea and focused on the mission.

They would be setting out on the final plan, soon, and before that, as he was so close to completing it, he really wished that he could collect data from one last individual who was following the path of the Gluttons. The only problem was that he knew no one who qualified, but realizing that there might be many secrets to this vast place that he hadn't uncovered yet, he reached the steward again and asked, "I guess that our planning session must be postponed until the king awakens… until then, can I train, somewhere?"

"Train to beat your brother in that contest? I'm afraid that might be impossible!"

He laughed a bit due to the joke, but he waited for the answer after that, fixing the dwarf with a steely stare.

Understanding that he was serious about it, the steward answered, "Alright, follow me."

They went through a series of rooms whose purposes the man had already mentioned in his last visit. A lot of the caverns were dedicated to the growth of that creeper which was the main food source of the city, but in a few, he also found the source of meat: penned-up goats which were mating when they entered, and continued, unabashed by the audience.

After pa.s.sing this cavern, the sound of a lot of people shouting reached Daneel's ears, and right away, he understood that they must be reaching a training area, of sorts. After all, the old steward had talked about it with pride before, so he looked forward to seeing the true strength of the children of the dwarf king.

When they reached it, his jaw almost dropped not because of its size, but because of the sheer number of those engrossed in training. The place was almost as large as the main meeting room of the city, split up into almost 100 circles filled with mud on each of which a pair of dwarves by sparring with weapons, or without. There was empty s.p.a.ce to the left and right where at least a couple of hundred of them were sitting and talking between themselves, so in total, the number of those who were training reached four hundred, if one was being conservative.

'This… is a d.a.m.n army! The old guy wasn't joking, after all!'

He was able to swallow his surprise quickly as it was nothing compared to what he had felt when had seen the way that each of those in front of him was created, in the first place. Looking everywhere around him, he hungrily swallowed all the details of the place, right from the way that different groups of the dwarves were dressed in different colors, and how each also had a leader who was taking care of the drills and shouting encouragement or advice at those facing difficulties.

Among them all, there was just one spot of tranquility right in the center of the cave, undisturbed by the frenetic energy of all the soldiers around it. In it sat a dwarf even older than the one beside him, at least if judged by the degree of how wrinkled his skin was and the length of his beard.

It was magnificent, to say the least, thick and brown and filled with vitality, but carefully groomed so that it was cut off just before it reached the ground. The dwarf was meditating on a stone seat raised from the floor, his face mirroring the serenity of his abode.

Sporting Daneel looking at him, the steward said, "He's the Lord commander of our forces. Learned in the ways of the Gluttons, his skill in this path is almost on par with that of the king."

Daneel's eyes shone as soon as he heard this. Right in front of him was the final one he needed to touch to finish the system's mission, but he was stumped, for a moment, as he didn't know how he could go about something so outlandish.

Then, with a shrug, he thought of the rewards and just decided that he would do it no matter the consequences. A bold plan came to him, and although it was foolhardy, he chose to use it, at once.

"I wish to spar with him. Is such a thing possible?"

Turning to the side, he saw the steward gawping at the statement. It took a moment for the dwarf to answer, and when he did, it was in a tone of puzzlement.

"Why would you want to do something so foolish? Besides, he knows that the king treats you as a brother… I don't think he would be willing to get into a fight."

Raising his voice, Daneel shouted, "Oh, come on! You just tried to talk him up calling him the great Lord Commander, but he can't even enter a single bout with me? You're really starting to make me doubt the power of my brother's forces…"

Silence arrived in the gigantic cave the instant he stopped speaking. He gulped, feeling so many eyes staring daggers at him, but his resolve was staunch, so he walked up to the old dwarf and said, "Well, Lord commander? Care to educate me? Or are you too old to—"

He didn't see the beard move. He didn't even feel it hit him in his stomach. If he hadn't spotted it twitch before turning into a blur, he wouldn't have believed his own vision that told him that it was what had delivered attack… but that was the truth.

He somersaulted in the air and lost consciousness even before he hit the ground. Yet, as the system spoke in his mind, a smile spread on his lips which remained even after he fainted… and all around, the dwarves began to talk, and comment, and cheer.

"What a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t!"

"He loved it! Should I go beat him up, too?"

"I dunno, but our king has definitely found a fitting brother! Uncle m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t, that's what he should be called!"

"Yes, Uncle m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t! Uncle m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t!"

"Crazy Uncle m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t!"