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Book 2: Chapter 523
This judgement was not wrong.
Regardless of the outcome, Lukas would not regret it. This was the att.i.tude he had seen and learned from someone.
He’d just forgotten it for a long time.
Life was an endless series of choices, and the burden of the choices you made couldn’t be pa.s.sed on to anyone else. It shouldn’t be pa.s.sed on.
However, what Pale would think about his statement. And what kind of att.i.tude she would show.
He wouldn’t be able to tell without experiencing it for himself.
“…”
The silence lasted for a long time.
Pale didn’t open her mouth. So Lukas didn’t say anything either.
He had already said everything he needed to say at that point.
Until she reacted, Lukas had no right to speak.
Tap, tap.
Pale walked over to him. With the same expressionless face, she narrowed the distance to Lukas.
Finally, she stretched out her hand, which was white enough to be called pale. So white it could be mistaken that she was wearing gloves. This hand gently stroked Lukas’ cheek.
“…”
He could tell that there was no hostility in this action.
Of course, for Pale, it would not be difficult for her to hide her killing intent, but Lukas didn’t stop her actions.
Because there was some meaning to her actions, and, at the very least, he didn’t think she was going to kill him for now.
Pale’s lips parted slightly.
“Are you lying?”
“Lying?”
“I can’t sense anything disgusting inside of Uncle.”
Did she inspect the inside of his body or soul through physical touch?
“It should be. Because the Lightning G.o.d in my body is in a special situation right now.”
What was left in his head now was just the remains of the Lightning G.o.d’s remnant thoughts, or in other words, the residue.
Even Lukas, who was directly sharing his soul, could barely sense it, so no matter how sensitive she was, it would be difficult for Pale, who was an outsider, to notice its existence.
“Hoh. What kind of situation?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
[…]
That was related to the honour of the ‘Lightning G.o.d’ that remained in Lukas’ mind. Even if they had a bad relations.h.i.+p, there needed to be a minimal respect between them.
Although it was still hiding the truth from Pale, it was different from lies or deception.
“Hmm, I see.”
Seemingly convinced, Pale took a step back.
“That regression. Indeed. It’s that power all over again….”
After muttering to herself, she looked up at Lukas again.
Once again, a smile was hanging from her lips.
“So? Why did you suddenly reveal that? You didn’t say anything at first.”
Pale smiled brightly.
“You went around making such a fuss, could it be that you received advice from the Exile, or the White Knight?”
“…”
…Indeed.
This was really terrifying.
It seemed all of his actions had already been seen through.
And yet, why did she still wait for him so patiently?
Lukas shook his head. This wasn’t the time to think about such problems.
“It is true that their actions affected me. However, the thing that played the decisive role is the Lightning G.o.d staying inside me.”
“Then. Why can’t I feel anything inside you, Uncle?”
“I can prove it.”
Giving him a blank stare, Pale suddenly asked.
“Uncle, do you want to die?”
“…no.”
“Then why do you keep trying to die?”
As she said that, Pale walked up to Lukas once again and poked his chest with her finger.
She injected her killing intent.
That alone was enough to send a tingling sensation through his entire body.
“I checked for myself, and told you that I could not feel the power of a Ruler in your body at all. Do you think I can’t even sense those b.a.s.t.a.r.ds?”
Rumble.
The ground began to tremble.
As a result, the surrounding buildings began to shake violently like blades of gra.s.s in a strong wind.
“Don’t you know by now? If Uncle had a Ruler in your body, you would have died a long time ago. You would have turned into a grisly pile of meat before you even had a chance to react.”
“…”
“Or are you acting like this because you have faith in your regression? Indeed. That actually makes sense. ‘I’ll do whatever I want in this life. See how it goes’, if you were acting with that att.i.tude…”
“That’s not the case. I have no more opportunities. You might not believe it, but this is the last time.”
“Then why?”
Lukas smiled bitterly.
“I found that the first step is the most.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This is the closest way to the right answer to understanding you. That is what I am saying.”
The tremors stopped abruptly.
A look of absurdity appeared on Pale’s face.
“Understanding?”
“Right.”
“…pu-, pukuku. Ahahaha.”
Pale grabbed her face. A messy laugh then escaped her long, flowing hair.
“How?”
Then, her blue eyes flashed behind her fingers. The moment their eyes met, his heart sank. They were like blue moons s.h.i.+ning with murderous intent and madness.
“How will you understand me? What do you know about me? Ah, you said you know everything about my past, didn’t you? I don’t know how many times you experienced regression.”
Pale grinned.
“But that, don’t you know from my perspective, how unpleasant that is?”
He could guess.
She didn’t know anything about him, but he knew everything she wanted to hide.
If the roles were reversed, Lukas would have felt disgusted.
However.
“This is better than lying from the beginning.”
“…”
“The disgust you’re feeling right now is less than if I hid that I knew everything about you. Am I wrong?”
There was no voice of denial in return.
Pale was just looking at him with a calm smile.
If anyone else saw this, they might not know what she was thinking at that moment.
However, Lukas was different now. He knew that.
And Pale was now affirming Lukas’ words.
“To sum up what you are saying, you believe in my regression, but you don’t think the Lightning G.o.d is in my body, right?”
“In a nutsh.e.l.l, I guess so.”
Moving on from here was also an option.
And later,
If at some point, Pale came to believe it,
If she became certain that the Lightning G.o.d’s remnant thoughts were in Lukas’ body,
At that time, he could say, ‘That’s what I told you back then’.
Even if it came out like that, he wouldn’t have lied.
However.
‘No.’
Lukas shook his head.
[What do you mean no?]
The Lightning G.o.d, who had been silent all this while as if speechless, spoke up.
[Do you understand what you are doing right now? This isn’t at the level of poking a beehive. This is like polis.h.i.+ng the knife of someone who doesn’t want to kill you and putting it to your neck.]
He almost burst into laughter at that moment. Coming from the Lightning G.o.d, that was a very human metaphor.
[Didn’t you say this was your last life? Have you lost your mind? Or do you just want to give up and die?]
‘Neither. Lightning G.o.d, do you think I’ve changed?’
[I think you just went mad.]
This time, he laughed aloud.
Pale gave him a puzzled expression.
[What’s so funny? Do you like being cursed at?]
‘No, Lightning G.o.d. I just kind of miss it.’
[Miss it?]
‘You used to call me that often in the past.’
After falling silent for a while, the Lightning G.o.d muttered in a ridiculous voice.
[…Madman.]
‘Right. I thought I had changed a bit after experiencing repeated regression, but I feel a little relieved now that you have personally confirmed that I am crazy. It feels like I went back to the past, which is a pleasant feeling.’
[Ha.]
With a snort, the Lightning G.o.d closed his mouth, as if he didn’t want to talk anymore.
Lukas looked at Pale once more.
“If you don’t believe me in the end, then it can’t be helped. I have no choice but to show you directly.”
“Show me what?”
He didn’t answer, and instead drew on his power.
In all honesty, this was a last resort.
The ‘Thunder’ left by the Lightning G.o.d was worse than dregs.
And he didn’t want to waste this power.
Crackle-
As soon as the pale lightning crackled on Lukas’ fingertip, the look in Pale’s eyes changed.
Her aura also changed.
She stretched out her hand.
Crack crack! A sword flew up from the ground into Pale’s hand. A whirlpool of murderous intent swirled around the blade.
Lukas smiled calmly.
Raising her sword, she went into a battle stance.
In other words, Pale had finally acknowledged the presence of the Ruler.
Swoos.h.!.+
The blade rushed forward.
The motion felt a little slower than usual.
Was it because he’d just fought the White Knight?
Or was it simply because Pale had not fully taken on the form of the Blue Knight.
Cras.h.!.+
Lukas dodged the attack, but the ground was mercilessly torn apart by the energy wave that swept out, creating a storm in the surrounding area.
“It’s contradictory.”
Even though she had swung her sword with tremendous force, there was no change to Pale’s expression or breathing. It was a terrifying sight.
“Contradictory?”
“If you really wanted to understand me, you shouldn’t have done something like accepting a Ruler.”
“It was beyond my control… if I said that, you wouldn’t believe me, right?”
Instead of responding, Pale swung her sword again. Lukas retreated without confronting her directly. He had no intention of engaging in a power contest with Pale in this place.
One step, two steps.
Widening the distance between them, he snapped his fingers at the planned time.
Behind Lukas, a pitch black s.p.a.ce unfolded like a curtain. Then, his figure quickly disappeared into it as if he had been swallowed.
Pale let out a laugh.
“Haha. Did you really think you could run away from me with something like s.p.a.ce movement? Seriously?”
Inserting her sword into the closing s.p.a.ce, she twisted the blade vertically. The closing s.p.a.ce let out a scream and its mouth opened once more.
Pale entered the s.p.a.ce just before it could close again.
Eventually, the s.p.a.ce opened up in midair, but she was able to land easily without panicking.
Taht.
Pale looked around.
The piles of corpses and blood covered floor were really reminiscent of the expression mountain of corpses and sea of blood(屍山血海). It was a place where the stench of rot stung your nose unpleasantly.
“…this place is.”
“─the Dump Site.”
Lukas responded.
He was sitting on one of the piles of corpses.
“Indeed. Did you intentionally move to a deserted place? Because you don’t want the Underground City to be involved.”
Lukas shrugged.
“Not really. Most places in this world are deserted. If my goal was just to move to a place with fewer people, there were many others I could go to. It’s just that this place has meaning. So I can negotiate with you.”
“What are you talking about now”
“You are an unpleasant person, Pale.”
“…”
There was no change to Pale’s expression.
“Even after learning of your past, while I did feel sympathy and pity, the thing I felt most was disgust. I hope you can understand. It’s hard to have good feelings for someone who has driven you to death several times.”
“What are you trying to do?”
“…nevertheless. You are… a woman I cannot let go of.”
Lukas smiled as he spoke.
Snorting, Pale was about to raise her sword once more when he spoke again.
“From now on, I’m going to starve.”
That word,
The word ‘starve’, caused Pale’s movements to stop.
Her face became cold.
“…you say you know my past, and yet you say that so carelessly?”
“Carelessly? No. You are the one speaking carelessly.”
For a moment, Lukas’ voice also became cold.
“Don’t you get it yet? My determination for coming to this place.”
“Explain it in an easy to understand way. If you don’t want to die right now.”
“I know why you are lonely. You have a scar that you cannot share with anyone else. If you were ‘outside’, then you might have been able to meet others like you, but there is not a single such person in this place. Because.”
Lukas’ gaze s.h.i.+fted to the ceiling of the Dump Site and the sky beyond it.
“There is no hunger in this world.”
“…”
“In the World of Void, the dissipation phenomenon occurs before you can even begin to feel hungry. Whether it is outside or in this place, the fundamental reason for eating is to not die. However, here, we lack the pain that accompanies the process, or in other words, the hunger.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“You can only love those who have suffered the same pain as you. That… is not your fault. You cannot help your innate nature. Nevertheless, it is possible to suppress it, or to redirect it slightly to another direction.”
“Keke.”
Pale giggled.
“So? Do you want to teach me how to do that? Do you want to pretend to be a Great Teacher to me too? On a subject like hunger which you don’t even know.”
“That is why I came here.”
Lukas body floated quietly. Then, he slowly descended until he landed not too far from Pale.
And sat gently, as if he were sitting on a mat.
“Here, even if you don’t eat anything, your body won’t disappear. And I can change a lot of things using the power I gained, which is called void.”
“I don’t get it.”
“If it’s in this place, I can starve indefinitely.”
“…!”
Pale quivered.
“That is what I’ll do to my body. First, I’ll make my body feel hungry, then as time pa.s.ses, the hunger and pain will grow, but I will never die.”
“…”
“You can only love those who have experienced the same pain as you, right? Unless they are like that, you won’t accept what any being says, right? Fine.”
He had already understood Pale’s pain with his ‘head’. So now all he had to do was experience it with his body.
There,
That was where the starting line was.
“From now on, I will starve. Until I can fully understand you. Or until you feel I can.”
Lukas smiled.
Perhaps,
All of the regressions Lukas had gone through might have been for this.