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Vol. 1 Chapter 10.1 - Trapped in the living h.e.l.l
Late at night.
Klopp came to the cabin again. And he looked down at the omega who had fainted, breathing heavily in the darkness with a pained expression. His pale skin was still stained with faint bruises from when he had hit him in anger after he talked to their son.
He had become very weak. It was only natural, he had given birth to four children. Even if he was an omega, male childbirth was not encouraged. Only one or two, and three at most. Moreover, Aelock wasn’t even a natural-born omega. He was still alive only because of his strong vitality as an Alpha previously. So he couldn’t die early and suffered more, but now, even that tough vitality was fading away.
Aelock looked a lot like his deceased wife, Rayfiel. But at first, he didn’t think they had anything in common. His deceased wife had a thoughtful and meticulous personality, while Aelock was an arrogant and unpleasant aristocrat. But looking at Aelock, who was dying now, they seemed to indeed share the same bloodline. Especially after giving birth, Aelock’s body lines became thin and round, making him resemble Rayfiel so much that sometimes his heart would beat fast.
I’m a madman.
He said to himself. He felt severely ashamed of himself. Even if it was for revenge, it was disgusting to find himself aroused while looking at the enemy who had miserably killed his wife. He was the worst for being conflicted whenever he saw Aelock.
Klopp had a rough idea of what Aelock had suffered at the bottom of his life. To succeed while having nothing, sometimes he had to join hands with those who had given up their humanity. He knew well the physiology of those who had struggled desperately at the bottom of their lives. He had secretly shed tears every day, suffering and in pain, but Aelock seemed to be different.
When Aelock returned to the estate, Klopp had an indescribable feeling seeing him radiating a n.o.bility from head to toe, dressed in old, tattered, and plain clothes. He held his head high as if nothing could tarnish him, and he still had his old mannerisms with a faint smile.
The way he looked directly at him made his skin crawl. He had wanted to hurt the untouchable and s.h.i.+ning being by making fun of his Count t.i.tle and his family, but it was childish. Despite his pale and withered complexion, Aelock calmly handled the situation, commenting lightly on the paintings of an upcoming new artist and elegantly sipping his tea. Then, like a n.o.bleman responding to an invitation from a host, he mentioned the child with proper etiquette.
“Your child was beautiful.”
Klopp thought Aelock was mocking him, calling the child he had birthed as if he was someone else’s child. He was a loathsome being who had no emotions at all. He had an impulse to smash that unbreakable mask.
“It’s because he resembled his mother.”
He mocked intentionally, pointing out that those children were Aelock’s own.
Aelock seemed shocked by that. Klopp had never seen him so shaken by sharp words. Klopp was quite satisfied with the unexpected reaction. Even in the midst of shock, Aelock complimented the tea with courteous manners and left the estate with a sophisticated thank you that was neither excessive nor inadequate for the hospitality.
Watching him walk away from the window, Klopp felt strange. Aelock’s steps were always light as if he was dancing, but now they seemed weightless as if he could get carried away by the wind. He had a premonition that the faint silhouette could disappear at any moment, that he might never see it again. He quickly told the gatekeeper, Hagen, to follow him.
Late that night, the watchman returned with a drenched and confused Aelock.
“I rescued him from jumping into the river.”
Even in his fainting state, he embraced and carried Aelock’s s.h.i.+vering body with blue lips. He led him to the bathroom attached to the room used by the former count. As hot water filled the bathtub, he took off Aelock’s clothes. His skinny body was covered with unknown scars and filth.
When he was put into warm water, he panicked from the sudden temperature change. In his fainted state, he couldn’t breathe properly. He was s.h.i.+vering and gasping, so Klopp had to help his breathing by kissing him. Aelock was unable to sit up straight and slipped into the water, so he had no choice but to embrace him in the bathtub without even taking off his own clothes.
Thin legs floated in the splas.h.i.+ng water like twigs. Unlike his own legs which were wrapped in dark fabric, Aelock’s pale legs looked as if they were melting into the hot water, along with his powerless, dangling arms. He held his bony and motionless hand, intertwining their fingers. Aelock‘s head lolled naturally on his shoulder, touching and wetting the nape of his neck. His thin breaths echoed in his ear.
“I won’t allow you to die so easily.”
Klopp couldn’t believe that Aelock attempted to end his own life. He didn’t know if Aelock hated him so much for mocking him about how he gave birth to his child. He couldn’t describe his feelings at that time. All he remembered was that he couldn’t let it end like this, fueled by his burning anger.
He wanted to make him miserable, to cry and scream like he did, to make him suffer. At first, he deliberately drugged him to destroy his self-esteem and just to have a child from him.
Then, he saw the wet eyes that wanted him to penetrate the omega when he was in heat. It was the few times Aelock showed emotions, so he felt a sickening sense of triumph and raped him again and again. Despite knowing that his artificially created omega body couldn’t withstand repeated pregnancy and childbirth, he didn’t stop. He wished for him to endure more pain and scream more. Fueled by the bitter hatred and malice, he kept going like that.
When he had found him starving to death alone in the cabin just after giving birth to their first child, Klopp was furious at the thought of letting him go so easily. Despite his ambiguous body that seemed both like Omega and Alpha, Klopp picked him up in his arms and took him to the estate to save his life. On the way there, Aelock had regained consciousness, then he arrogantly smiled and wrapped his arms around Klopp’s neck, causing him to s.h.i.+ver at the cost of his overbearing confidence.
After giving birth to their second child, he had simply thrown him on the back burner and forgot about him. No, he tried tirelessly to forget him. Unlike their second child who resembled himself, their first child became more and more similar to his birth mother as he grew up. He had insisted on naming him Rayfiel, but every time he called him by the name, he felt a pang in his heart. That’s when he realized he was trapped in the h.e.l.l he had created for himself, consumed by hatred and losing his mind.
He poured more hot water to keep him from getting cold. After he confirmed that Aelock’s complexion had returned, he took him back to the cabin and laid him down. He couldn’t allow himself to be generous enough to give him comfort in the estate. He had to suffer more. At least until he shed uncontrollable tears of blood as he did.
He didn’t know why, but when Aelock woke up, he didn’t try to run away anymore. The door of the cabin was not locked, and the estate’s gate did not prevent him from leaving. But he was always there, like a person trapped behind transparent bars. He watched him go back and forth between the cabin from the window of the estate.
He felt strange as Aelock pumped the prepared water. To think that the Count, who used to order him around with a proud look, would do such a thing. Did he learn that when he was at the bottom of his life? He thought Aelock would endure this without eating or drinking anything again. He expected him to be stubborn and demand to be treated with honor.
However, he did not leave the cabin. He didn’t even look for Klopp, like on the day he came to the estate with blood between his legs. He was strangely angry. He brought him unprocessed, difficult-to-handle vegetables on purpose.
The next day, a small puff of smoke rose from the cabin. But Aelock was still there.
As he watched him lying on the hard bed, he brushed off the damp hair stuck to his forehead.
No matter how miserable and wretched he was, he couldn’t help but exude his innate n.o.bility. Even lying on a shabby bed without anything on, he looked elegant enough to be recognized as a n.o.bleman. His blue eyes, always staring straight ahead, had an incomparable dignity to them. Recently, he realized that his desire for revenge and conquest also made him want to destroy that dignity.
Regardless of the motive, being with the omega who had bore four children with him, when he gave a thin smile, it stimulated Klopp’s alpha instincts. That, combined with coincidental events that reminded him of his old hatred, always led to uncontrollable situations like an explosive trigger.
Even at the moment when he was dying after repeated violence, Aelock still looked like a sophisticated, luxurious doll. The only thing that made him look human was his occasional shaking eyes. It was always doubtful whether he was breathing or not.
Klopp sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to place his ear under Aelock’s nose. He felt a faint breath, and as he turned his head, their lips brushed against each other. Aelock’s lips were dry, slightly cold, and rough. They looked like Rayfiel’s moist and soft lips, but they felt so different.
Aelock was cold. As cold as his breaths, his hands and feet were also as cold as his soul. The only thing alive about him were his haughty eyes that scrutinized everyone else. Even they were now shrouded in thin eyelids that revealed his veins.
Klopp wanted to peel off this sh.e.l.l that didn’t seem like a human being. So that he would cling to him and beg for him. Not just out of fear, but to drop everything, to reveal his nakedly ugly nature, to fall even lower than the humans he looked down upon. He wanted Aelock to shout out his name fervently. For Aelock to become an ordinary human being and suffer from the sins he had created himself.
To do that, he had to keep him alive. It would be useless if he died. Klopp lay next to the freezing Aelock, warming his body. After spending several years going through heats together, they now had similar scents. It was ironic. To feel such a deep sense of relief from holding someone in his sleep, who he hated so much that he could rip out his heart. It was also proof that they had both become equally vile.
As he always knew, omegas found stability in the scent of the alpha whom they had continuously mated. As he held him and wiped his cold arms and legs, Aelock’s pale complexion gradually returned. Even in his sleep, he dug into his embrace with a languid sigh.
It was always like this. Despite Klopp’s cold gaze and att.i.tude, Aelock never rebelled, even if he was threatened with a raised hand or cursed at with malice. Unlike what any normal human would do. There was always something stubborn about him that made Klopp more angry and annoyed.
When he had their second child while living in the estate, Aelock became arrogant, as if he was the mistress of a viscount, giving orders around. However, when they returned to the cabin, things were much different. He thought that his endless high and mighty self-confidence had finally started to disappear. But his nature remained the same.
Now Aelock didn’t expect anything from Klopp. Aelock lived without wanting anything from him anymore, as if he were blaming Klopp himself for dwelling on the past. If he had cried or showed some difficulty, he might not have been so neglectful towards him, even if he got ridiculed.
A long time had pa.s.sed, seasons had changed, and they had two more children, but Klopp was still struggling with anger and hatred, unable to escape from Rayfiel’s death, while Aelock was moving forward. He would cook on his own and do his own laundry. No matter what insult he received, he responded with a subtle smile and began to live as best as he could.
Had he let go of something at the crossroads of life and death? Or has everything become empty? Even if he was raped roughly, he just whimpered. When he got pregnant, he gave birth to the child as ordered. No desire for anything meant there was no need for struggling. Even if he was alone, he was living and laughing happily.
No. That was absolutely not alright.
As much as he hated himself and was in pain and conflict, so should Aelock. Klopp hugged the thin, breathless body as if he could crush it.
“Do you want to have s.e.x?”