Alaskan Brides: Gold Rush Baby Part 15

There was a stirring, a clearing of throats.

"Honor thy father and thy mother...."

A soft sobbing came forth.

"Thou shalt not kill....

"Thou shalt not commit adultery...."

A moan.

"Thou shalt not steal...."

She couldn't listen to any more. She knew now what she had to do. She kissed Goldie's cheek, hugged her tight for a moment, then handed her to Hattie, rose and slipped from the pew.

"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor...."

Crying.

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house...."

The words followed her through the entrance. She stepped outside and closed the door, her heart sick and heavy. He had used her as an example. No matter that he had said he was talking about the adulterous woman in the Bible. Everyone knew.... A sob burst from her throat. She caught up her skirt hems and ran down the road, shoved open her door and dashed to her bedroom.

The cradle first. She grabbed hold of the footboard and backed toward the door, tugging the cradle after her into the living room. Now Goldie's clothes and toys. She ran back into the bedroom, swiped the tears from her cheeks and pulled Goldie's clothes and booties, blankets, diapers and hats from the chest, carried them out and piled them into the cradle. Her toy rattle, the string of spools, the little bag of b.u.t.tons she'd made her that she liked to shake. She dropped the toys into the cradle and ran to the kitchen for the banana bottles, s.n.a.t.c.hed up the little spoon she'd bought her and ran back to put them in the cradle.

Pressure built in her chest, pulsed against her throat in broken sobs. Stop it! There is no time for your selfishness. Lana and Mack Tanner will be wonderful parents for Goldie. And she will have Georgie to play with when she's older, if her father doesn't come back. And Mack Tanner already had custody of Goldie's gold nuggets.

She spun about and ran back to the bedroom, dragged her mother's old carpetbag from beneath the bed. Her breath came in labored gulps. She hauled her necessaries, nightgown and robe from her dresser, thrust them into the bag, then added her brown merino and blue tweed outfits, two white s.h.i.+rtwaists and her slippers. Her toilet articles! She ran through the living room and kitchen to the was.h.i.+ng and bathing room, grabbed her toothbrush and powder, brush and comb, s.n.a.t.c.hed up the small hand mirror and hurried back to her bedroom.

If only her head would stop pounding so she could think! What else? What else...?

Chapter Twenty.

Goldie's things were all ready. The sight of the cradle with Goldie's clothes and bottles and toys packed into it tore at her. She turned away before she lost all strength, walked back into her bedroom and picked up her mother's old carpetbag. Everything else, her cabin and her savings, she would leave for Hattie. That would be enough to keep her. She would go the way she had come. Only this time, there would be no hope in her heart for a clean life, a "normal" life. She knew now that the stain of her past would always be with her. And that the stain would spread to infect anyone she drew close to. Anyone she loved. Just as it had those who had befriended her here in Treasure Creek.

The rent in her heart split wider. The pain seized her lungs, stole her breath. The beloved faces flowed before her on a river of sorrow and regret. Hattie and Frankie... Teena and Lana...Mavis... She should never have allowed them to come close to her. She should never have taken them into her heart. The stain that was there had smeared them all with its darkness. She had brought hurt and division to the church and to the town. She had set friend against friend.

She blinked her eyes, caught her lower lip between her teeth to hold back the sobs. The way they had chosen sides in church...lined up for or against her.

She forced air into her lungs, carried the carpetbag out into the living room, opened the sewing cupboard and took out her pincus.h.i.+on, measuring tape and scissors. She would need them to make her living. She put them in the carpetbag and closed it, then tore a clean sheet of paper out of her account book and picked up her pen.

To Mayor Tanner and any others it may concern, I leave my cabin, its furnis.h.i.+ngs and all of my savings to Hattie Marsh.

Viola Rose G.o.ddard She folded the note and tucked it into her purse, then tore out another sheet of paper, the tearing sound echoing the one in her heart.

Dearest Hattie, For all the reasons you know and understand so well, I must leave Treasure Creek. Precious Goldie I will leave in the Tanners' care. I pray her father comes back for her one day, but if not, the Tanners will be wonderful parents to her.

To you, my beloved friend, I leave my cabin, its furnis.h.i.+ngs and all of my savings. I will leave a note stating that with Mack Tanner, but keep this one in case anyone should question your right to what was mine.

Thank you, Hattie dearest, for being my friend.

My fondest love always,

Viola

She pushed away the agony inside and squared her shoulders. There was no time for self-pity, church would soon be over and she could not bear to be here when Hattie brought Goldie home.

Home.

No more.

She ran to the table by the door, tucked the note for Hattie under the bowl, grabbed enough coins to pay for her pa.s.sage back to Seattle and yanked open the door.

Her carpetbag.

She ran back and picked it up, whirled and froze. Thomas. The carpetbag thudded to the floor at her feet.

He'd frightened her. "I'm sorry, Viola. I should have thought about- The door was open." Thomas stared at Viola's pale face, cursed himself for a clumsy fool, startling her that way. "May I come in?"

She shook her head, made a helpless little pus.h.i.+ng motion with her hand. "Please leave."

He dropped his gaze to the carpetbag at her feet, felt his heart drop to its level. "You're leaving?"

"I feel under the circ.u.mstances it is best for everyone if I do. I'm sure you agree." Her shoulders inched back, her chin lifted, but the tiny tremble of her lips gave her away.

"No. I don't." He took a breath, turned and closed the door to keep from taking her into his arms and begging her to stay. Please, Lord, don't let it be too late. Give me the right words.

"I asked you to leave. I have a ferry to catch."

Her voice was cool, controlled. The way it was when he'd first met her. Except that hint of a quiver hadn't been there then. He grabbed hold of it as a good omen, shook his head. "I asked Hattie to give us some time, Viola. And I am not going anywhere...and neither are you...until we talk."

She stiffened. "Very well, though I don't see what there is left to say."

"How about...I'm sorry." He jammed his hands into his suit coat pockets to keep from reaching for her, and stepped forward. "That night when Dangler was here...I was hurt that you hadn't trusted me or my position enough to tell me about your past. I knew there was something frightening you, and-"

"It was my past. And I was foolish enough to think that it had no bearing on who I am. That I could be free of it and live a clean, 'normal' life." Her voice caught, she jerked her head up a notch. "That's why I told no one. But I've learned that my sinful past will always be with me, and that the stain that covers me will spread to those I allow close and do harm to anyone I love."

"Viola-"

"No, Thomas." She blinked her eyes, swallowed hard. "There's nothing more to be said. You cannot deny the damage I have done to the people and town of Treasure Creek. I saw the way they chose sides for and against me at church. Friends against best friends, Thomas! And I did that! Simply by being who I am-"

"Was."

She stopped, stared at him, sucked in a deep breath and shook her head.

"You walked out of church before you heard the end of my message, Viola."

"The one about the adulterous woman?"

The hurt in her voice lanced his heart. "Yes."

"I don't care to hear more." She wrapped her arms about herself, turned her back.

He reached for her, drew his arms back and jammed his hands back into his pockets. Her hurt was too great, the pain too deep for him to declare his love. She would never believe him. He would have to be patient, let the Lord heal her heart before he asked her to let him in. Lord, help me to be patient. Give me the words, Lord!

He fastened his gaze on her ramrod-straight back. "Under the law, the punishment for adultery was death by stoning." A shudder made her shoulders shake. He hurried on.

"That is what the pharisees, scribes and those in the crowd around them expected. A harsh rendering of judgment and a swift execution of the sentence. You see, they didn't know the One to Whom they had brought the woman. They knew the law. But Jesus knew their hearts. He stooped down and wrote something on the ground with His finger. There is no way of knowing what He wrote. But I believe it was the Ten Commandments. And when they asked Him about the woman, and He again wrote something on the ground, I believe it was the words, 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.'

"When they pressed Him for His judgment on the woman He straightened and said, 'He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.'" Conviction rang in the words. "He knew there was no one there without sin. Except Him. The pharisees, in the darkness of their ignorance, had brought the woman to the One True Judge."

He clenched his hands to keep from grabbing her and forcing her to face him. "Every person standing there in judgment of that adulterous woman had to examine their own hearts. And one by one they walked away, convicted of their own sin. Until there was only the woman and the sinless one." G.o.d, let her hear. "He asked her, 'Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?' And when she replied, 'No man, Lord.' Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn thee. Go, and sin no more.' He acknowledged her sin and forgave her. The Lord, merciful and mighty, made her clean and set her free. And He has done the same for you. You were right, Viola. Your past is over and forgotten. It has no bearing on who you are. You are clean, Viola."

He looked at her bowed head, her trembling hands covering her face, her shaking shoulders, and hated himself for contributing to her hurt. "That is the message I preached this morning, Viola. A message to remind every person in church this morning, including myself, that we have all sinned before G.o.d. That we all stand in need of G.o.d's mercy, forgiveness and love. A message every person in the church needed to hear. A message I needed to hear. I allowed my hurt and my pride to overrule mercy and love and sat in judgment on you without knowledge-"

"Then you shall know now."

She wiped the tears from her face and turned. The look in her eyes silenced his protest. He did not need to hear the story. But she needed to tell him.

"I was fourteen when my parents moved to Seattle. My father had purchased a business and a home for us. Three weeks later, my parents were killed in a carriage accident. And three days later, on my fifteenth birthday, the banker foreclosed on the house. I was set out onto the streets of Seattle with what necessities I could carry in my mother's carpetbag."

He followed her glance down to the worn carpetbag, knew it was again packed with her necessities. His heart clutched.

"I knew no one in Seattle. I was alone and afraid." She s.h.i.+vered, wrapped her arms about herself. "Dengler found me crying on a park bench. He said I reminded him of his dead daughter and told me it would please him if I would stay in her room and let him provide for me until I could find a means of earning my own way. It was all a lie, of course. But I believed him."

I believed him. Three small words that said so much. Thomas clenched his hands, fought the outrage that gripped him for the innocent, young girl Viola was then.

"A month later he presented me with a bill for my room and board. I had no way to pay it. He said he was sorry, but I would have to leave, as he could not go on providing for me without recompense. And then he offered to 'let' me earn the money to pay my bill and for my keep by working in his 'house.' I had no one to turn to for help. No place to go. And he knew it. I...accepted." A shudder shook her. "I had no idea..."

She straightened, ran her hand along the top of the settle. "I ran away. Twice." Her hand lifted, ma.s.saged the scar on her other hand. "The second beating was so bad I didn't try again. Until one Sunday about four months ago, when another carriage accident happened."

She glanced at him, turned away again. "Some of the other girls and I went for a stroll every Sunday, and that accident forced us to alter our usual path. We went by a church and heard those inside singing a hymn. It stirred something in me. When I got back to my room I dug my mother's carpetbag out of the back of a closet and took out my mother's Bible. It fell open. There was an underlined verse on the page. This verse...."

She stopped before the sampler on the wall, touched the last words, "With G.o.d, all things are possible."

"My desire to leave my life of degradation and shame rose again, stronger than ever. But I had no money to pay for my escape. And no way to earn a living other than...what I had learned. I asked G.o.d to help me. And the thought came-I could become a seamstress. I did all the mending and made new gowns for the other...girls. But where could I go and be safe from Dengler's reach? And then the customers started talking about the gold fields and laughing about a G.o.d-centered town named Treasure Creek that allowed no gambling or bawdy houses. A town they swore they would never visit."

He thought of Dengler and Dolph, of the scar on her hand. How brave she was to try to escape a third time. "How did you get away?"

She smiled. A wonderful, beautiful smile that made his throat tighten and his pulse pound.

"I asked for permission to go to church." The smile died. She dropped her gaze to her hands. "Dengler agreed, as long as Dolph or Karl escorted me there, then returned after the service and walked me back to the house. He knew the church members would have no part of me. He was right.

"I sewed myself a modest waist and skirt, of the sort other women wore, and hid it under the skirt of the frilly gown I wore to church, and then waited. I still needed money. One Sunday there was a disturbance in the...selection room. While Dengler and Dolph were subduing the drunken customer, I took enough money to cover the promised back wages I had never received. Dolph walked me to church. I waited in the small lady's room until the service started and he went away. Then I changed into my new outfit, hid my frilly dress behind a bench, covered my hair with a snood and walked to the docks and bought pa.s.sage to Treasure Creek."

Thank You, Lord, for keeping her. And for bringing her safely here.

"Viola-"

She turned and looked at him. He cleared the huskiness from his voice and moved close to her. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, Viola. For not living up to the example Jesus set us all. Please forgive me. And please-unpack that carpetbag and give me and Treasure Creek a second chan-"

The door opened, banged against his foot. Hattie stepped inside, jiggled Goldie on her hip and smiled. "You better go put water on for tea, Viola. You got company."

"I don't need tea, Hattie. I only want a few minutes of Viola's time. If she will grant me permission to come in."

Evelyn? Viola stared, tried hard not to allow her astonishment to show as her neighbor stepped into the doorway.

"I wouldn't blame you if you refused to see me, Viola. But I hope you will allow me-"

"Of course I will see you, Evelyn. Please come in." She shook off her shock at Evelyn's contrite tone and teary eyes and stepped forward. Her toe caught against her packed carpetbag.

Thomas shot out his hand and caught her arm, kept her from falling.

She looked up, met his gaze. Warmth crept into her heart. The icy cold that had seized her began to melt away. His fingers flexed, tightened, released their hold. But not his gaze. His gaze held her prisoner.

"Please think about what I said, Viola. And please stay. Now, I will leave you ladies to your conversation." He turned, made a polite bow to Hattie and Evelyn and walked out the door.

She wiped her palms on her skirt, got a tight hold on her emotions and looked toward her neighbor. The older woman was staring at the packed cradle and carpet bag, her face pale.

"May G.o.d forgive me for my wicked tongue." Evelyn Harris looked up, tears flowing down her cheeks. "And you, Viola. Please forgive me. I was wrong to sit in judgment on you. And to spread those vicious rumors. Pastor Stone's sermon showed me that. And then, afterward-" her voice caught on a sob "-when I was through at the altar... Hattie told me your story. Oh, Viola, I am so sorry." She rushed forward her hands extended in entreaty. "Please don't leave Treasure Creek. We need women with your integrity and courage. Please stay."

Chapter Twenty-One.

Her heart seemed light. Almost as if it would fly right out of her chest. Viola fastened her nightgown, looked down at Goldie asleep in the cradle that had been carried back into her bedroom where it belonged and whirled around for sheer happiness. She was staying in Treasure Creek!