Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field Part 15

[Ill.u.s.tration: GALLANTRY REWARDED

_Lady_ (_having had a fall at a brook, and come out the wrong side,--to stranger who has caught her horse_). "Oh, I'm _so_ much obliged to you!

Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: JUST OFF

"Ride her on the snaffle, Tom! Don't ride her on the curb!"

"Hang your curb and snaffle! I've enough to do to _ride her on the saddle!_"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A Suggestion: No more trouble from wire, damage to fences, etc.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE TRIALS OF AN M.F.H.

_M.F.H._ (_to misguided enthusiast who has been cheering hounds on a bad scent_). "Now then! Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"

_Enthusiast_ (_sweetly_). "Just as you please, m'lord, just as you please."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: OFF HIS GUARD

_Farmer_ (_just coming up_). "Young gentleman riding your brown horse, my lord, had nasty accident a field or two back. Barbed wire--very ugly cuts!"

_My Lord._ "Tut--tut--tut! Dear--dear--dear! Not the horse, I hope?"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "BON VOYAGE!"

_Mossu (shot into a nice soft loam), exultingly._ "A--ha--a! I am safe o-vere! Now it is your turn, Meester Timbre Jompre! Come on, sare!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE EXMOOR HUNT--NO KILL

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE

_Fair Huntress._ "What a pity the hounds let that splendid stag get away, Colonel, wasn't it?"

_Colonel._ "Pity! Ha, if they'd only taken my advice we should have been up with him now, instead of being miles away on the wrong track!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Distinguished Foreigner_ (_to good Samaritan who has caught his horse_). "Merci bien, monsieur! You save me much trouble.

Before, I lose my horse--I lose him altogether, and I must put him in the newspaper!"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: VIVE LA CHa.s.sE!

_Foreign Visitor_ (_an enthusiastic "sportsman," viewing fox attempting to break_). "A-h-h-h! Halte-la! Halte! _You shall not escape!_"]

[Ill.u.s.tration: RATHER TOO MUCH

_Lady_ (_having just cannoned Stranger into brook_). "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry I b.u.mped you! Would you mind going in again for my hat?"]

THE END OF THE HUNTING SEASON

(_By Our Own Novice_)

Good-bye to the season! E'en gluttons Have had quite enough of the game, And if we returned to our muttons, Our horses are laid up and lame.

We hunted straight on through the winter, And never were stopped by the frost, As I know right well from each splinter Of bone that my poor limbs have lost.

Good-bye to the season! The "croppers"

I got where the fences were tall, And Oh the immaculate "toppers"

That always were crushed by my fall.

Don't think though that I'm so stout-hearted As e'er to jump hedges or dikes, It's simply that after we've started, My "gee" gallivants as it likes.

In vain I put on natty breeches, And tops like Meltonian swell, It ends in the blessed old ditches, I know like the Clubs in Pall Mall.

And when from a "gee" that's unruly I fall with a terrible jar, I know that old _Jorrocks_ spoke truly, And hunting's "the image of war."

And never for me "_Fair Diana_"

Shall smile as we know that she can, With looks that are sweeter than manna, On many a fortunate man.

It adds to the pangs that I suffer, When thrown at a fence in her track, To hear her "Ridiculous duffer!"

When jumping slap over my back.

I've fractured my ulnar, I'm aching Where over my ribs my horse rolled; Egad! the "Old Berkeley" is making One man feel uncommonly old.

Good-bye to the season! I'm shattered And damaged in figure and face; But thankful to find I'm not scattered In pieces all over the place!