Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field - BestLightNovel.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration: 'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK
_'Arry_ (_in extremities_). "Well, gi' _me_ a _bike_!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: CONVENIENCE OF A LIGHT-WEIGHT GROOM
_Miss Ethel._ "Now, sit tight this time, Charles. How could you be so stupid as to let him go?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Voice from the ditch._ "Don't jump here!"
_Irish Huntsman._ "And what would ye be after down there?
Wather-cresses?"]
RATHER
"Is fox-hunting dangerous?" asks one of our daily papers. A fox informs us that it has its risks.
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Rough Rider_ (_to old Creeper, who will not let his horse jump_). "Now then, gov'nor, if you are quite sure you can't get under it, perhaps you'll let me 'ave a turn!"]
PROOF POSITIVE
_Podson_ (_lately returned from abroad_). "Well, I hear you've been having a capital season, Thruster."
_Thruster._ "Oh, rippin'! Why, I've had both collar-bones broken, left wrist sprained, and haven't got a sound horse left in my string!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: INEXPRESSIBLE
_Master Jack_ (_son of M.F.H., much upset by hard weather_). "Go skating with you! Not if I know it. May be all very well for you women and those curate chaps--but we hunting men, by George!!!"]
BY THE COVERT SIDE
_Fred_ (_a notorious funk_). "Bai Jove! Jack, I'm afraid I've lost my nerve this season!"
_Jack._ "Have you? Doosid sorry for the poor beggar who finds it!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Elderly Sportsman._ "I wonder they don't have that place stopped. Why, I remember running a fox to ground there twenty years ago!
Don't you?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: THEORY AND PRACTICE; OR, WHY THE ENGAGEMENT WAS BROKEN OFF
_Lady Di_ (_to Jack, whose vows of devotion have been interrupted by a fox being hollered away_). "Oh, Jack, my hair's coming down! Do stop and hold my horse. I won't be five minutes."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR!
_A Dream of Mr. Punch's Sporting Correspondent_
["Mr. Arthur Wilson, Master of the Holderness Hunt, has received an intimation from the War Office that, in consequence of the war with the Transvaal, ten of his horses will be required."--_Daily Paper._]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE
_Lady_ (_who has just jumped on fallen Sportsman_). "I'm awfully sorry!
I hope we didn't hurt you?"
_Fallen Sportsman._ "Oh, I'm all right, thanks. But--er--do you mind leaving me my hat?"]
IN THE MIDLANDS
_Belated Hunting Man_ (_to Native_). "Can you kindly point out the way to the Fox and c.o.c.k Inn?"
_Native._ "D'ye mean the Barber's Arms?"
_B. H. M._ "No, the Fox and c.o.c.k!"
_Native._ "Well, that's what we call the Barber's Arms."
_B. H. M._ "Why so?"
