Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field - BestLightNovel.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration: INSULT TO INJURY
_Fitz-Noodle's Harriers, after a capital run, have killed--a fox!_
_Incensed local M.F.H._ "Confound it, sir, you have killed one of my foxes!"
_F. N._ "It's all right, old chap! You may kill one of my hares!"]
HUNTING SONG
(_To be sung when the Hounds meet at Colney Hatch or Hanwell_)
Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!
The moon is up, the moon is up, The larks begin to fly, And like a scarlet b.u.t.tercup Aurora gilds the sky.
Then let us all a-hunting go, Come, sound the gay French horn, And chase the spiders to and fro, Amid the standing corn.
Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!
UNCOMMONLY KEEN
"Why, where's the horse, Miss Kitty? By Jove, you're wet through! What has happened?"
"Oh, the stupid utterly refused to take that brook, so I left him and swam it. I couldn't miss the end of this beautiful thing!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: IN A BLIND DITCH
_Sportsman_ (_to friend, whom he has mounted on a raw four-year-old for "a quiet morning's outing"_). "Bravo, Jack! Well done! That's just what the clumsy beggar wanted. Teach him to look where he's going!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: DRY HUMOUR
"Be'n't ye comin' over for 'im, mister?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: WIREPROOF
Sir Harry Hardman, mounted on "Behemoth," created rather a stir at the meet. He said he didn't care a hang for the barbed or any other kind of wire.]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A SKETCH FROM THE MIDLANDS
"Hulloa, old chap! Not hurt, I hope?"
"Oh, no, no! Just got off to have a look at the view."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Whip._ "Here, here! Hold hard! Come back!"
_Tommy_ (_home for the holidays_). "No jolly fear! You want to get first start!"]
"BUSINESS FIRST"
_Favourite Son of M.F.H._ (_to old huntsman_). "No, Smith, you won't see much more of me for the rest of the season; if at all."
_Smith_ (_with some concern_). "Indeed, sir! 'Ow's that?"
_Son of M.F.H._ "Well, you see, I'm reading hard."
_Smith_ (_interrogatively_). "Readin' 'ard, sir?"
_Son of M.F.H._ "Yes, I'm reading Law."
_Smith._ "Well, I likes to read a bit o' them perlice reports myself, sir, now an' then; but I don't allow 'em to hinterfere with a honest day's 'untin'."
AN OMISSION BEST OMITTED
_Brown_ (_on foot_). "Do you know what the total is for the season?"
_Simkins_ (_somewhat new to country life_). "Fifteen pairs of foxes, the huntsman says. But he seems to have kept no count of rabbits or 'ares, and I know they've killed and eaten a lot of those!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: PUTTING IT NICELY
_Young Lady_ (_politely, to old Gentleman who is fiddling with gap_). "I don't wish to hurry you, sir, but when you have quite finished your game of spilikins I should like to come!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: TERPSICh.o.r.eAN
_Sportsman_ (_to Dancing Man, who has accepted a mount_). "Hold on tight, sir, and she'll _waltz_ over with you."]
