Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field - BestLightNovel.com
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_Irish Fish Hawker_ (_riding hard_). "Och, bad luck to thim! Niver moind. Sure we're kapin' up wid the gentry!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: JUMPING POWDER
(_Mr. Twentystun having a nip on his way to covert_)
_Small Boy._ "Oh my, Billy, 'ere's a heighty-ton gun a chargin' of 'isself afore goin' into haction!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: DRAWN BLANK
_Huntsman._ "How is it you never have any foxes here now?"
_Keeper_ (_who has orders to shoot them_). "Pheasants have eat 'em all!"]
THE ADVANTAGE OF EDUCATION
_M.F.H._ (_who has had occasion to reprimand hard-riding Stranger_). "I'm afraid I used rather strong language to you just now."
_Stranger._ "Strong language? A mere _twitter_, sir. You should hear _our_ Master!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Irate Non-sporting Farmer._ "Hi! you there! What the Duce do you mean by riding over my wheat!"
_'Arry._ "'Ere, I say! What are yer givin' us? _Wheat!_ Why, it's only bloomin' _mud!_"]
"FOOT AND MOUTH" TROUBLE
A valuable hunter, belonging to Mr. Durlacher, got its hind foot securely fixed in its mouth one day last week, and a veterinary surgeon had to be summoned to its a.s.sistance. This recalls the ancient Irish legend of the man who never opened his mouth without putting his foot into it. But that, of course, was a bull.
DECIDEDLY NOT
_Nervous Visitor_ (_pulling up at stiff-looking fence_). "Are you going to take this hedge, sir?"
_Sportsman._ "No. It can stop where it is, as far as I'm concerned."
UNGRATEFUL
_The Pride of the Hunt_ (_to Smith, who, for the last ten minutes, has been gallantly struggling with obstinate gate_). "Mr. Smith, if you really _can't_ open that gate, perhaps you will kindly move out of the way, and allow me to _jump_ it!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: APT
_Brown_ (_helping lady out of water_). "'Pon my word, Miss Smith, you remind me exactly of What's-her-name rising from the What-you-call!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A CHECK
_M.F.H._ (_riding up to old Rustic, with the intention of asking him if he has seen the lost fox_). "How long have you been working here, master?"
_Old Rustic_ (_not seeing the point_). "Nigh upon sixty year, mister!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "WHAT'S IN A NAME?"
_Whip._ "_Wisdom!_ Get away there!! _Wisdom!! Wisdom!!!_ Ugh!--you always were the biggest fool in the pack!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY
_Mrs. Brown_ (_being helped out of a brook by the gallant Captain, who has also succeeded in catching her horse_). "Oh, Captain Robinson! thank you _so_ much!"
_Gallant, but somewhat flurried, Captain._ "Not at all--don't mention it." (_Wis.h.i.+ng to add something excessively polite and appropriate._) "Only hope I may soon have another opportunity of doing the same again for you."]
REa.s.sURING
_Criticising friend_ (_to nervous man on new horse_). "Oh! now I recollect that mare. Smashem bought her of Crashem last season, and she broke a collar-bone for each of them."
[Ill.u.s.tration: "THE TIP OF THE MORNING TO YOU!"
_First Whip thanks him, and hums to himself,_ "When other tips, and t'other parts, Then he remembers _me!_"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Giles_ (_indicating Sportsman on excitable horse, waiting his turn_). "Bless us all, Tumas, if that un beant a goin' to try it back'ards!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: WITH THE HARDUP HARRIERS
