The Rolliad Part 14

The beautiful compliment here introduced to the chast.i.ty of our immaculate premier, from the pen of such an author, must give him the most supreme satisfaction. And

O decus Italiae virgo!!!

Long mayst thou continue to deserve it!!!

From treating of the minister's virgin innocence, our author, by a very unaccountable transition, proceeds to a family man, namely, the modern MaeCENAS, the CENSOR MORUM, the ARBITER ELEGANTIARUM of Great Britain; in a word, to the most ill.u.s.trious JAMES CECIL EARL OF SALISBURY, and lord chamberlain to his majesty, whom, in a kind of episode he thus addresses,

Oh! had the G.o.ds but kindly will'd it so That thou had'st lived two hundred years ago: Had'st thou then rul'd the stage, from sportive scorn Thy prudent care had guarded peers unborn.

No simple chamberlains had libell'd been, No OSTRICKS fool'd in SHAKESPEARE's saucy scene.

But then wisely recollecting this not to be altogether the most friendly of wishes, in as much, that, if his lords.h.i.+p had been chamberlain to QUEEN ELIZABETH, he could not, in the common course of events, have been, as his honour SIR RICHARD PEPPER ARDEN most sweetly sings in his PROBATIONARY ODE,

"The tallest, fittest man to go before the king,"

In the days of GEORGE THE THIRD; by which we should most probably not only have been deprived of the attic entertainments of SIGNORS DELPINI and CARNEVALE, but perhaps too have lost some of our best dramatic writers; such as GREATHEAD, HAYLEY, DR. STRATFORD, and TOMMY VAUGHAN: our author, with a sudden kind of repentance, says,

But hence fond thoughts, nor be by pa.s.sion hurried!

Had he then lived, he now were dead and buried.

Not now should theatres his orders own; Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn.

If we might be so presumptuous as to impute a fault to our author, we should say that he is rather too fond of what the French style _equivoque_.--This partiality of his breaks forth in a variety of places; such as SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY being

------a knowing man in _grain_, ------MARTIN's _sterling_ sense, &c. &c.

In the present instance too, where, supposing the n.o.ble Marquis to have lived two hundred years ago, he says,

"Not now should theatres his _orders_ own."

He leaves us completely in the dark, whether by the word _orders_, we are to understand his lords.h.i.+p's commands as _theatrical anatomist_, or the _recommendations_, which he is pleased to make to the managers of our public amus.e.m.e.nts, to admit his dependants and servants gratuitously; and which recommendations in the vulgar tongue of the theatres are technically styled _orders_. If we might hazard an opinion, from the known condescension of his lords.h.i.+p, and his attention to the accommodation of his inferiors, we should be inclined to construe it in the latter sense; an attention, indeed, which, in the case in question, is said to be so unbounded, that he might exclaim with aeNEAS

Nemo ex hoc numero mihi non donatus abibit.

Should any caviler here object, that for every five s.h.i.+llings thus generously bestowed on the dependant, a proportionate _vacuum_ is made in the pocket of the manager, let him recollect, that it is a first and immutable principle of civil policy, that _the convenience of the few must yield to the accommodation of the many_; and, that the n.o.ble Marquis, as a peer and legislator of Great Britain, is too closely attached to our excellent const.i.tution to swerve from so old and established a maxim.

With respect to the last line of the couplet,

"Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn,"

we must confess that our author's imagination has here been rather too prurient.--His lords.h.i.+p's head does not, as far as we can learn, upon the most minute enquiry, _at present_, grace any alehouse whatever--It was indeed for some little time displayed at HATFIELD in HERTS; but the words "_Good entertainment within_," being written under it, they were deemed by travellers so extremely unapposite, that to avoid further expence, LORD SALISBURY's head was taken down, and "_The old bald face Stag_" resumed its pristine station.

Yet, enraptured with his first idea, our author soon forgets his late reflection, and proceeds on the supposition of the n.o.ble lord having exercised his pruning knife upon SHAKESPEARE and JOHNSON, and the advantages which would have been derived from it, some of which he thus beautifully describes:

To plays should RICHMOND then undaunted come, Secured from listening to PAROLLES's drum: Nor shouldst thou, CAMELFORD, the fool reprove, Who lost a world to gain a wanton's love.

"Give me a horse," CATHCART should ne'er annoy: Nor thou, oh! PITT, behold the angry boy.

The last line but one of these,

Give me a horse, &c.

seems to allude to a circ.u.mstance that occurred in America, where his lords.h.i.+p being on foot, and having to march nearly five miles over a sandy plain in the heat of summer, fortunately discovered, tied to the door of a house, a horse belonging to an officer of cavalry.

His lords.h.i.+p thinking that riding was pleasanter than walking, and probably also imagining that the owner might be better engaged, judged it expedient to avail himself of this steed, which thus so fortunately presented itself, and accordingly borrowed it. The subsequent apology, however, which he made when the proprietor, rather out of humour at his unlooked-for pedestrian expedition, came up to reclaim his lost goods, was so extremely ample, that the most rigid a.s.serter of the old fusty doctrines of _meum_ and _tuum_ cannot deny that the dismounted cavalier had full compensation for any inconvenience that he might have experienced. And we must add, that every delicacy of the n.o.ble lord on this subject ought now to terminate.

We shall conclude with an extract from some complimentary verses by a n.o.ble secretary, who is himself both an AMATEUR and ARTISTE.--Were any thing wanting to our author's fame, this elegant testimony in his favour must be decisive with every reader of taste.

Oh! mighty ROLLE, may long thy fame be known!

And long thy virtues in his verse be shewn!

When THURLOW's christian meekness, SYDNEY's sense, When RICHMOND's valour, HOPETOWN's eloquence, When HAWKESB'RY's patriotism neglected lie Intomb'd with CHESTERFIELD's humanity, When PRETTYMEN, sage guardian of PITT's youth, Shall lose each claim to honesty and truth, When each pure blush DUNDAS's cheek can boast, With ARDEN's law and nose alike are lost, When grateful ROBINSON shall be forgot, And not a line be read of MAJOR SCOTT, When PHIPPS no more shall listening crouds engage, And HAMLET's jests be rased from memory's page, When PITT each patriot's joy no more shall prove, Nor from fond beauty catch the sigh of love, When even thy sufferings, virtuous chief! shall fade, And Ba.s.sET's horsewhip but appear a shade, Thy sacred spirit shall effulgence shed And raise to kindred fame the mighty dead: Long ages shall admire thy matchless soul, And children's children lisp the praise of ROLLE.

_NUMBER VII._

It now only remains for us to perform the last melancholy office to the dying drummer, and to do what little justice we can to the very ingenious and striking manner in which our author closes at once his prophecy and his life.

It is a trite observation, that the curious seldom hear any good of themselves; and all epic poets, who have sent their heroes to conjurors, have, with excellent morality, taught us, that they who pry into futurity, too often antic.i.p.ate affliction.--VIRGIL plainly intimates this lesson in the caution which he puts into the mouth of ANCHISES, when aeNEAS enquires into the future destiny of the younger MARCELLUS, whose premature death forms the pathetic subject of the concluding vision in the sixth book of the aeNEID:

"O nate, ingentum lectum ne quaere tuorum."

"Seek not to know (the ghost replied with tears) The sorrows of thy sons in future years."

DRYDEN.

Then, instead of declining any further answer, he very unnecessarily proceeds to make his son as miserable as he can, by detailing all the circ.u.mstances best calculated to create the most tender interest.--The revelation of disagreeable events to come, is by our poet more naturally put into the mouth of an enemy.--After running over many more n.o.ble names than the records of the herald's office afford us any a.s.sistance in tracing, the second sighted Saxon, in the midst of his dying convulsions, suddenly bursts into a violent explosion of laughter.--This, of course, excites the curiosity of ROLLO, as it probably will that of our readers; upon which the drummer insults his conqueror with rather a long but very lively recital of all the numerous disappointments and mortifications with which he foresees that the destinies will affect the virtues of ROLLO's great descendant, the present ill.u.s.trious member for Devons.h.i.+re. He mentions Mr. ROLLE's many unsuccessful attempts to obtain the honour of the peerage; alludes to some of the little splenetive escapes into which even his elevated magnanimity is well known to have been for a moment betrayed on those trying occasions. We now see all the drift and artifice of the poet, and why he thought the occasion worthy of making the drummer so preternaturally long winded, in displaying at full all the glories of the house of peers; it was to heighten by contrast the chagrin of ROLLO at finding the doors of this august a.s.sembly for ever barred against his posterity.

To understand the introductory lines of the following pa.s.sage, it is necessary to inform our readers, if they are not already acquainted with the fact, that somewhere in the back settlements of America, there is now actually existing an illegitimate batch of little ROLLE's.

Though wide should spread thy spurious race around, In other worlds, which must not yet be found, While they with savages in forests roam Deserted, far from their paternal home; A mightier savage in thy wilds EX-MOOR, Their well-born brother shall his fate deplore, By friends neglected, as by foes abhorr'd, No duke, no marquis, not a simple lord.

Tho' thick as MARGARET's knights with each address, New peers, on peers, in crouds each other press, He only finds, of all the friends of PITT, His luckless head no coronet will fit.

But what our author seems more particularly to have laboured, is a pa.s.sage which he has lately inserted: it relates to the cruel slight which was shewn to Mr. ROLLE during the late royal progress through the west.--Who is there that remembers the awful period when the regency was in suspence, but must at the same time remember the patriotic, decent, and consistent conduct of Mr. ROLLE? How laudably, in his parliamentary speeches, did he co-operate to the best of his power, with the popular pamphlets of the worthy Dr. WITHERS! How n.o.bly did he display his steady loyalty to the father, while he endeavoured to shake the future right of the son to the throne of his ancestors!

How brightly did he manifest his attachment to the person of his MAJESTY, by voting to seclude him in the hour of sickness from the too distressing presence of his royal brothers and his children; and, after all, when he could no longer resist the t.i.tle of the heir apparent, with what unembarra.s.sed grace did he agree to the address of his const.i.tuents, complimenting the prince on his accession to that high charge, _to which his_ SITUATION and VIRTUES _so eminently_ ENt.i.tLED _him:_ yet, even then, with how peculiar a dexterity did Mr.

ROLLE mingle what some would have thought an affront, with his praises, directly informing his ROYAL HIGHNESS that he had no confidence whatever in any virtues but those of the minister. But, alas, how uncertain is the reward of all sublunary merit! Those good judges who inquired into the literary labours of the pious and charitable Dr. WITHERS, did not exalt him to that conspicuous post, which he so justly deserved, and would so well have graced; neither did one ray of royal favour cheer the loyalty of Mr. ROLLE during his majesty's visit to DEVONs.h.i.+RE; though with an unexampled liberality, the worthy member had contracted for the fragments of Lord MOUNT EDGEc.u.mBE's desert, and the ruins of his triumphal arches; had brought down several of the minister's young friends to personate virgins in white, sing, and strew flowers along the way; and had actually dispatched a chaise and four to Exeter, for his old friend and instructor, _mynheer_ HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERHAGEN, dancing-master and poet; who had promised to prepare both the _balets_ and _ballads_ for this glorious festivity. And for whom was Mr. ROLLE neglected? For his colleague, Mr. b.a.s.t.a.r.d; a gentleman who, in his political oscillations, has of late vibrated much more frequently to the opposition than to the treasury bench. This most unaccountable preference we are certain must be matter of deep regret to all our readers of sensibility;--to the drummer it is matter of exultation.

In vain with such bold spirit shall he speak, That furious WITHERS shall to him seem meek; In vain for party urge his country's fate; To save the church, in vain distract the state; In loyal duty to the father shewn, Doubt the son's t.i.tle to his future throne; And from the suffering monarch's couch remove All care fraternal, and all filial love: Then when mankind in choral praise unite, Though blind before, see virtues beaming bright; Yet feigning to confide, distrust evince, And while he flatters, dare insult his PRINCE.

Vain claims!--when now, the people's sins transferred On their own heads, mad riot is the word; When through the west in gracious progress goes The monarch, happy victor of his woes; While Royal smiles gild every cottage wall, _Hope never comes to_ ROLLE, _that comes to all_; And more with envy to disturb his breast, b.a.s.t.a.r.d's glad roof receives the Royal guest.

Here the drummer, exhausted with this last wonderful exertion, begins to find his pangs increase fast upon him; and what follows, for two and thirty lines, is all interrupted with different interjections of laughter and pain, till the last line, which consists entirely of such interjections.--Our readers may probably recollect the well-known line of THOMPSON.

"OH, SOPHONISBA, SOPHONISBA, OH!"

Which, by the way, is but a poor plagiarism from SHAKESPEARE:

"OH, DESDEMONA, DESDEMONA, OH!"

There is certainly in this line a very pretty change rung in the different ways of arranging the name and the interjection; but perhaps there may be greater merit, though of another kind, in the sudden change of pa.s.sions which OTWAY has expressed in the dying interjection of PIERRE:

"We have deceiv'd the senate--ha! ha! oh!"

These modern instances, however, fall very short of the admirable use made of interjections by the ancients, especially the GREEKS, who did not scruple to put together whole lines of them.--Thus in the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, besides a great number of hemistics, we find a verse and a half: