The Rolliad Part 17

While BILLY, listening to their tuneful plea, In silence sipp'd his _Commutation_ Tea, And heard them boast, how loudly both had ly'd: The Priest began, the Layman thus reply'd! 10

PRETTYMAN.

Why wilt thou, BANKS, with me dispute the prize?

Who is not cheated when a Parson lies?

Since pious Christians, ev'ry Sabbath-day, Must needs believe whate'er the Clergy say!

In spite of all you Laity can do, 15 One lie from us is more than ten from you!

BANKS.

O witless lout! in lies that touch the state, We, Country Gentlemen, have far more weight; Fiction from us the public still must gull: They think we're honest, as they know we're dull! 20

PRETTYMAN.

In yon Cathedral I a Prebend boast, The maiden bounty of our gracious host!

Its yearly profits I to thee resign, If PITT p.r.o.nounce not that the palm is mine!

BANKS.

A Borough mine, a pledge far dearer sure, 25 Which in St Stephen's gives a seat secure!

If PITT to PRETTYMAN the prize decree, Henceforth CORFE-CASTLE shall belong to thee!

PITT.

Begin the strain--while in our easy chairs We loll, forgetful of all public cares! 30 Begin the strain--nor shall I deem my time Mispent, in hearing a debate in ryhme!

PRETTYMAN.

Father of lies! By whom in EDEN's shade Mankind's first parents were to sin betray'd; Lo! on this altar, which to thee I raise, 35 Twelve BIBLES, bound in red Morocco, blaze.

BANKS.

Blest powers of falsehood, at whose shrine I bend, Still may success your votary's lies attend!

What prouder victims can your altars boast, Than honours stain'd, and fame for ever lost? 40

PRETTYMAN.

How smooth, persuasive, plausible, and glib, From holy lips is dropp'd the specious fib!

Which whisper'd slily, in its dark career a.s.sails with art the unsuspecting ear.

BANKS.

How clear, convincing, eloquent, and bold, 45 The bare-fac'd lie, with manly courage told!

Which, spoke in public, falls with greater force, And heard by hundreds, is believ'd of course.

PRETTYMAN.

Search through each office for the basest tool Rear'd in JACK ROBINSONS's abandon'd school; 50 ROSE, beyond all the sons of dulness, dull, Whose legs are scarcely thicker than his scull; Not ROSE, from all restraints of conscience free, In double-dealing is a match for me.

BANKS.

Step from St. Stephen's up to Leadenhall, 55 Where Europe's crimes appear no crimes at all; Not Major SCOTT, with bright paG.o.das paid, That wholesale dealer in the lying trade; Not he, howe'er important his design, Can lie with impudence surpa.s.sing mine. 60

PRETTYMAN.

Sooner the a.s.s in fields of air shall graze, Or WARTON's Odes with justice claims the bays; Sooner shall mackrel on the plains disport, Or MULGRAVE's hearers think his speech too short; Sooner shall sense escape the prattling lips 65 Of Captain CHARLES, or COL'NEL HENRY PHIPPS; Sooner shall CAMPBELL mend his phrase uncouth, Than Doctor PRETTYMAN shall speak the truth!

BANKS.

When FOX and SHERIDAN for fools shall pa.s.s, And JEMMY LUTTRELL not be thought an a.s.s; 70 When all their audience shall enraptur'd sit With MAWBEY's eloquence, and MARTIN's wit; When fiery KENYON shall with temper speak, When modest blushes die DUNDAS's cheek; Then, only then, in PITT's behalf will I 75 Refuse to pledge my honour to a lie.

PRETTYMAN.

While in suspence our Irish project hung, A well-framed fiction from this fruitful tongue Bade the vain terrors of the City cease, And lull'd the Manufacturers to peace: 80 The tale was told with so demure an air, Not weary Commerce could escape the snare.

BANKS.

When Secret Influence expiring lay, And Whigs triumphant hail'd th' auspicious day, I bore that faithless message to the House, 85 By PITT contriv'd the gaping 'squires to chouse; That deed, I ween, demands superior thanks: The British Commons were the dupes of BANKS.

PRETTYMAN.

Say, in what regions are those fathers found, For deep-dissembling policy renown'd; 90 Whose subtle precepts for perverting truth, To quick perfection train'd our patron's youth, And taught him all the mystery of lies?

Resolve me this, and I resign the prize.

BANKS.

Say, what that mineral, brought from distant climes, 95 Which screens delinquents, and absolves their crimes; Whose dazzling rays confound the s.p.a.ce between A tainted strumpet and a spotless Queen; Which Asia's Princes give, which Europe's take; Tell this, dear Doctor, and I yield the stake. 100

PITT.

Enough, my friends--break off your tuneful sport, 'Tis levee day, and I must dress for Court; Which hath more boldly or expertly lied, Not mine th' important contest to decide.

Take thou this MITRE, Doctor, which before 105 A greater hypocrite sure never wore; And if to services rewards be due, Dear BANKS, this CORONET belongs to you: Each from that Government deserves a prize, Which thrives by shuffling, and subsists by lies. 110

IMITATIONS.

Ver. 6. Amant alterna Camenae.

Ver. 10. Hos Corydon, illos referebat in ordine Thyrsis.

Ver. 29. Dicite--quandoquidem in molli consedimus herba Ver. 61. Ante leves ergo pas entur in aethere cervi Et freta dest.i.tuent nudos in littore pisces-- Ver. 89. Die quibus in terris, &c.

Ver. 104. Non nostrum inter vos tantas componere lites.

Ver. 105. Et vitula tu dignus et hic.

NOTES.

Ver. 17. Our poet here seems to deviate from his general rule, by the introduction of a phrase which appears rather adapted to the lower and less elevated strain of pastoral, than to the dialogue of persons of such distinguished rank. It is, however, to be considered, that it is far from exceeding the bounds of possibility to suppose, that, in certain instances, the epithet of "Witless," and the coa.r.s.e designation of "Lout," may be as applicable to a dignitary of the church, as to the most ignorant and illiterate rustic.

Ver. 62. The truth of this line must be felt by all who have read the lyrical effusions of Mr. Warton's compet.i.tors, whose odes were some time since published, by Sir John Hawkins, Knight. The present pa.s.sage must be understood in reference to these, and not to the Laureat's general talents.

Ver. 85. The ingenious and sagacious gentleman, who, at the period of the glorious revolution of 1784, held frequent meetings at the Saint Alban's Tavern, for the purpose of bringing about an union that might have prevented the dissolution of parliament; which meetings afforded time to one of the members of the proposed union to concert means throughout every part of the kingdom, for ensuring the success of that salutary and const.i.tutional measure, which, through his friend Mr. B--ks, he had solemnly pledged himself not to adopt.

How truly does this conduct mark "the statesman born!"

-------- Dolus an virtus, quis in hoste requirit?

Ver. 98. It must be acknowledged that there is some obscurity in this pa.s.sage, as well as in the following line,

"Which Asia's princes give, which Europe's take:"

and of this, certain seditious, malevolent, disaffected critics have taken advantage, and have endeavoured, by a forced construction, to discover in them an unwarrantable insinuation against the highest and most sacred characters; from which infamous imputation, however, we trust, the well-known and acknowledged loyalty of our author's principles will sufficiently protect him.

_MARGARET NICHOLSON._

ARGUMENT.

Mr. WILKES and Lord HAWKESBURY alternately congratulate each other on his Majesty's late happy Escape, The one describes the Joy which pervades the Country: the other sings the Dangers from which our Const.i.tution has been preserved. Though in the following Eclogue our Author has not selected any single one of _Virgil_ for a close and exact Parody, he seems to have had his Eye princ.i.p.ally upon the Vth, or the _Daphnis_, which contains the Elegy and _APOTHEOSIS_ of _Julius Caesar_.

The Session up: the INDIA-BENCH appeas'd, The LANSDOWNES satisfied, the LOWTHERS pleas'd, Each job dispatch'd:--the Treasury boys depart, As various fancy prompts each youthful heart; PITT, in chaste kisses seeking virtuous joy, 5 Begs Lady CHATHAM's blessing on her boy; While MORNINGTON, as vicious as he can, To fair R--L--N in vain affects the man: With Lordly BUCKINGHAM retir'd at STOWE, GRENVILLE, whose plodding brains no respite know, 10 To prove next year, how our finances thrive, Schemes new reports, that two and two make five.

To plans of Eastern justice hies DUNDAS; And comley VILLARS to his votive gla.s.s; To embryo tax bills ROSE; to dalliance STEELE; 15 And hungry hirelings to their hard-earn'd meal.