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"What do you mean?"
"Physical contact is frowned upon in my culture."
"Are you saying ... you aren't allowed to touch each other? Or anyone? Ever?"
Alec nodded.
"Why? That's awful!"
He pursed his lips, thinking. "How can I help you understand this? Even though we live on Earth, our culture is very removed and isolated, and more ... well, Vulcan, than anything. We follow ancient laws and traditionally, we don't have families. Mating is allowed only once every five decades, at an appointed day and time scheduled by the Elders."
Claire stared at him. "You're kidding."
"I wish I were. The Elders choose the partners who are to engage in each one-time coupling. s.e.x isn't for pleasure, only reproduction."
"Oh. So, have you"-Claire blushed again, the heat traveling up to the roots of her hair-"ever engaged in a ... coupling?"
"No. I'm not old enough. You have to be at least two hundred and fifty."
Claire was surprised by how ridiculously pleased she was to hear that. "So I guess with so few of those going on, there aren't many children."
"No."
"What happens to the kids?"
"Children are raised by a tutor or G.o.dparent-a Grigori who generally has no offspring of their own."
"In your case, Vincent."
He nodded. "However, my parents got tired of the rules. They secretly formed an alliance similar, in many ways, to a human marriage. Although as a young child I spent half my time with Vincent to keep up appearances, the rest of the time I lived with my mother and father covertly, in a remote corner of Scotland."
Claire felt a rush of empathy for him. "That must have been hard. From the time you were born, you've always been hiding something."
"Aye." He sighed, then added, "But then again, I did get to spend the first ten years of my life with parents who loved each other-and me-and who ignored the restrictions on physical contact. Although my mother did have to be careful not to crush my father and me to death when she hugged us."
"That's right! Your mother had superstrength!" Claire couldn't help but laugh.
"Funny, isn't it?" he agreed. "But I can relate to the problem. I've been afraid to hurt you in the same way."
Claire's blush deepened, and she wasn't sure what to say.
Alec's eyes found hers again. "That desire to show affection through touch-I've never forgotten it. It's something Grigori don't usually experience, as far as I know."
"I guess that explains why you, of all people-I mean Grigori-went AWOL."
He nodded pensively as the wheel slowed to a halt again. "I guess it does."
They had stopped at the very top of the Ferris wheel. The view was breathtaking, but Claire gave it only a cursory glance. Her attention was fixed on Alec. Beneath his show of quiet strength, she sensed his deep vulnerability. The thought of all he'd been through-and all the loneliness he'd endured for more years than she'd been alive-wrenched at her heart.
Her entire body trembled with the desperate need to touch him, to offer him some comfort. She yearned to hug him, to feel his hands on her body, to feel his lips on hers.
"I want...," she began.
"I know. So do I." His eyes and voice were filled with longing, but also concern. He waited, allowing her to make the choice.
Claire held her breath. His hand was resting in his lap. She reached out until her own hand hovered just an inch above his. Alec had said she could learn to control her powers. Could she do it? Did she dare?
"It's all right," he encouraged softly. "Just focus, Claire. Command your mind to stay in the moment, and not to travel."
She nodded, steeling herself. Their gazes locked. Her stomach tensed. Focus. Focus. Her entire body felt like a taut wire. I am Claire, she insisted silently. I will stay Claire, and I will remain here beside Alec. Slowly, gingerly, she lowered her hand until it closed over his. At first, as the gentle warmth from his skin radiated into her palm, she remained completely still, afraid to move or breathe, mentally repeating the words over and over like a mantra. Let my mind remain here. Let my mind remain here. To her relief, there was no dreaded, burning heat, no warning flush of a vision.
It worked, she rejoiced inwardly. It worked!
Alec smiled into her eyes. It felt so wonderful to touch him. Silently repeating the mantra, Claire slid her fingers around his to cup his hand, then squeezed it. Alec squeezed her hand back, his gaze never leaving hers-a wordless communion that sent a thrilling tingle up her arm and, with the speed of an arrow, straight into her heart.
Without further reflection, Claire dove across the s.p.a.ce between them, wrapped her arms around Alec, and brought her lips to his. She sensed his initial surprise, but then he wound his arms around her, drawing her close as he kissed her back.
The kiss started slowly, a sweet, tentative searching. Alec's lips and tongue felt warm against hers, mesmerizing her. As their mouths melded with growing fervor, a sudden image infiltrated Claire's brain. She recognized it as what Alec must have experienced while gazing at her that afternoon in the stairwell when they first sang together. No! Stay! Claire ordered her mind, rejecting the lovely vision of how Alec saw her then, concentrating with every molecule of her being on the here and now and her own body. Stay in the present. Be in this moment.
The invading image fled. To Claire's relief, she was herself once more. Alec drew back slightly, his eyes searching hers, and she could hear and feel his breath coming in unsteady gasps that echoed her own.
"Are you okay?"
Claire smiled. "I'm fine. More than fine."
"Well thank goodness for that." He brought his mouth back to hers.
His kiss grew bolder and more pa.s.sionate, awakening new sensations deep within her. She melted into his embrace, kissing him hungrily, parting her lips and letting desire draw her down. She smoothed her hands over the sinewy muscles of his upper arms, then reveled in the feel of his lean, hard back beneath his T-s.h.i.+rt. As she pressed herself against him, straining to get closer, his hands moved restlessly up and down her back, then rose up to tangle in her hair. All the while, she repeated the mantra to herself: Stay in the present. Be in this moment.
She loved the way they fit together, loved the way he tasted and felt. It was as if they were two halves of a circuit suddenly connected and made whole, allowing a current of electricity to spark between them. She never wanted the kiss to end.
The wheel began to spin forward again and they broke apart, both breathing hard. Claire was stunned. The look on Alec's face told her he felt the same way. With a deep, happy sigh, she leaned her head on Alec's shoulder. His arm slid around her. They remained in that position, silently staring out at the ocean during the final revolution of the ride. It took every minute of that time for Claire's breathing and heart rate to return to something approaching normal.
When the wheel carried them down to the bottom and they had disembarked, Alec reached for her hand with a smile. "I've decided," he said as they headed back down the pier, "that I like Ferris wheels."
twenty-three.
The first person Claire saw when her mom dropped her off at school the next morning was Neil.
He was sitting on the low wall in front of the gym, reading a book-but when he saw her, he stood up immediately and started in her direction. "Hey, Claire."
His smile was so winning that she couldn't help but smile back. "Hey, Neil. You guys are reading The Great Gatsby now?"
Neil glanced down at the book as if he'd forgotten what it was. He let out an embarra.s.sed chuckle. "Actually, I finished it a week ago. I just didn't want to make it obvious that I was waiting for you." He darted her a look. It reminded her of the way Alec had looked at her all day yesterday-the kind of look she used to long for from Neil. Claire was flattered, but nothing more-which was a little surprising. If this had happened two weeks ago, she would have been over the moon.
"So," Neil said as they climbed the stairs toward the Upper School, "have you cast your primary vote for Homecoming Court yet?"
"No. Why? When's that due?"
"It has to be turned in by the end of the day."
"Good to know. But to be honest, I've never paid much attention to the whole Homecoming Court thing."
"Why not?"
"I guess because I was never eligible before." Nominations for king and queen were restricted to seniors, and prince and princess were chosen from the junior cla.s.s. "What's the point of having a king or queen, anyway, when they don't actually do anything?"
Neil shrugged as they pa.s.sed the stream of students jogging back downhill from their lockers. "I think it's like all kings and queens today. They're figureheads, a proud tradition to rally the citizenry."
She eyed him suspiciously. "Is that a quote from last year's history textbook?"
"Busted," he admitted with a grin. "But it sounded convincing, right?"
"Like Churchill himself," Claire stated with mock reverence.
"What I was getting at," Neil went on, "is that high schools need figureheads, too. Which is why I nominated you for Homecoming Princess."
"You what?" Claire gasped, astonished.
"And I told all my friends to do the same."
"You have got to be kidding me! Neil, what were you thinking? No one in this school knows I'm alive."
"Where have you been, Claire? After that scaffolding accident, everybody knows who you are."
Claire flushed a little. "Oh-that. Still, that doesn't make me princess material."
"You're one of the most beautiful girls in this school, certainly one of the nicest, and hands down the smartest. You definitely deserve to be in the Royal Court."
"I ... don't know what to say," Claire replied, fl.u.s.tered.
"How about yes, and you'll go with me?"
Claire's stomach clenched. Uncertainly, she asked, "Go with you ... where?"
"To the dance?" he said hopefully.
"Oh!... Oh..."
Neil's face fell. "Okay. That's not quite the response I was hoping for."
They'd reached the library landing now, a few yards from Claire's locker. She stopped and tried to gather her wits. This was the moment she'd been dreaming of for over two years! But after yesterday, everything had changed.
"Neil," she began hesitantly, "I'm sorry, but... I think Alec and I are... I mean, he hasn't asked me to the dance yet, but-"
Neil cut her off, holding up his hands. "Looks like it's my turn to say 'Oh.' I knew you two were rehearsing a song, but I had no idea you were... Seriously, Brennan. That's totally cool. Alec seems like a great guy ... that freak-out at the mall notwithstanding."
Claire gave him a soft smile. "Thanks." c.r.a.p, she thought. He looked so disappointed. Despite her aversion to the whole Homecoming Princess thing, she still liked Neil and would love to go to the dance. What if Alec didn't ask her?
Neil's eyes were suddenly drawn to something immediately behind Claire. His mouth tightened slightly. Claire spun around to find Alec at their locker, his gaze fixed casually on the two of them. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. How long had he been standing there? He looked incredibly handsome in his faded green T-s.h.i.+rt and black leather jacket. She hadn't stopped thinking about Alec since he'd dropped her off at home the evening before, when they'd exchanged another good-bye kiss at her door-a kiss equally as thrilling as the ones they'd shared atop the Ferris wheel.
Claire smiled at Alec, then whirled back to find Neil staring at them as if struggling to remain calm.
Tension crackled through the air. Claire couldn't believe this was happening. She'd never even had one boy pay attention to her before; and now two boys liked her at the same time?
Brian and Erica rounded the corner of the library and, caught in the awkwardness, shot questioning looks at Claire. After what seemed like forever, Alec gave Claire and Neil a friendly nod, then turned his attention back to his locker.
As if released from a spell, Neil shrugged good-naturedly. "See you in Concert Singers." With a wave to Brian and Erica, he was gone.
Claire had no idea what she was supposed to do next. Kiss Alec h.e.l.lo? Go talk to her friends?
The first bell rang, rescuing her from either option. "Morning!" she blurted, and then raced off to her first cla.s.s. It was AP bio, which, to her relief, she shared with no one.
After bio came Concert Singers, and with that came more quizzical looks from Brian and Erica. For the entire fifty-minute period, through every note of the Messiah, Claire felt them staring at her, while Neil did his best to act normal.
When the bell rang at the end of cla.s.s, Erica and Brian pounced on Claire.
"Tell us everything. Now."
"On top of the Ferris wheel, huh?" Erica nodded with approval. "That's a good make-out spot."
Claire blushed. She had quickly summarized yesterday for them as they helped Erica put up Homecoming posters during their break. Although she hadn't told them everything. The day before had been so special, she wanted to keep some details to herself.
"You had mouth-to-mouth contact, and you didn't have a vision?" Brian asked, impressed, as he grabbed a poster from the stack and handed it to Claire. "How'd you pull that off?"
"By concentrating really, really hard," Claire confessed.
"That's awesome!" Erica enthused. "You're making progress."
"So, are you guys official?" Brian asked.
"I think so." Claire slapped the poster up against one of the stucco walls and secured it with masking tape.
"Have you told your mom?" Erica asked.
"Not yet."
"Has he asked you to Homecoming?" Erica persisted.
"Slow down, guys! This was yesterday. We kissed. That's all." Although, Claire thought, it had been incredible.
Erica pulled a strip of tape from the roll that hung around her wrist like a bracelet. "Well, if you guys aren't an official item, then what was that silent p.i.s.sing contest between Alec and Neil?"