I Found My Heart In San Francisco: Karma Part 3

She returned a few minutes later to find Jamie sitting in a chair next to the table. Her face was clouded with what Ryan could only guess was suspicion or maybe even anger. "What's wrong?" she asked softly as she came back to sit on the edge of the bed right next to Jamie.

"I...I feel like you tricked me," she muttered softly. "I just feel stupid."

"What? How did I trick you?" Ryan asked, truly dumbfounded.

Jamie shook her head and got to her feet, looking like she was about to cry. "I thought you were really concerned about my welfare. It didn't cross my mind that you were trying to sleep with me!"

She started to walk to the door, but Ryan dashed right in front of her. She didn't touch her, but she got in front of the door to prevent her from opening it. "Jamie, I don't know what made you say that, but I think you owe me an explanation. An apology would be nice, while you're at it."

"I owe you an explanation! That's a laugh! How about an explanation from you? You're the only one who has anything to apologize for, Ryan."

"I still don't know what in the h.e.l.l you're talking about," the dark woman stated, her voice rising. "Will you at least tell me what has you so upset?"

"You're obviously a lesbian, Ryan," she said in an accusatory tone. "Every other site on your favorites page was gay this or lesbian that."

Ryan gaped at her for a moment, shocked at not only the statement, but also the implication. "And being gay means not only that I want to sleep with you," she said slowly, "it also means that I would have to trick you into it?"

"Well, don't you?" she demanded with her face still flushed with anger.

"I've slept with a lot of women in my life, Jamie, and if I trick you into it, you'll be the first," she said curtly. "Even lesbians are concerned about drunk driving, you know." A look of pained hurt crossed her features, and she backed away from the door as she added, "I don't know what your image of lesbians is, but I am not a rapist. I would prefer that you hang out until you're sober, but if you want to leave, be my guest."

Jamie picked up her purse and stalked out of the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

Ryan leaned against the door for a moment, hear heart racing, actually feeling deeply hurt. How in the h.e.l.l did this turn out to be so realistic? In her heart, she knew it was ridiculous to be upset about having been accused of wanting to sleep with the woman -- since that was the whole point of the game. Shaking her head, she went into her closet and removed her sweater and turtleneck, and folded them neatly. Jamie's so good at this that she really hit me in a vulnerable spot, she decided. After removing her bra, she put on her volleyball T-s.h.i.+rt and shucked her slacks. She was just hanging them up when she heard a very quiet knock on the door. "Yes?" she called out.

"Uhm... it's Jamie," she replied, her voice so soft that Ryan had a hard time picking it up. "Can I speak with you?"

The tall woman opened the door just a crack and said, "I've got my pajamas on. I can't guarantee that won't exacerbate my rapist tendencies."

Her voice gained a little volume, and she said, "Look, Ryan, I'm sorry I overreacted. I just want to apologize to you. If you want me to do that from the hall, I will."

Relenting, Ryan opened the door and allowed her to enter. Jamie cast a quick glance down to see what her companion was wearing, and was pleased to see that the big T-s.h.i.+rt went a third of the way down her thighs. "I'm getting into bed," Ryan stated decisively. "It's too cold to be standing around in my underwear." She marched over to the bed and pulled the covers back as she slid in and settled the laptop onto her legs. "You were saying?" she asked, looking up at Jamie impa.s.sively.

"I wanted to apologize," she said softly. "It was unfair to a.s.sume you wanted to sleep with me just because you're gay. I'm also sorry that I stormed out, but I wanted to make sure I really could leave if I wanted to."

"Obviously you don't know me at all," Ryan said, "but I meant it when I said I don't lie. I just wanted to be sure you were sober before you left."

Jamie sat down on the second bed and looked at Ryan carefully, swallowing before she asked, "Can you honestly say that sleeping with me didn't cross your mind?"

The dark woman s.h.i.+fted slightly, then took a deep breath and said, "To be completely honest, I first approached you because I thought you were really attractive." A blonde eyebrow rose, and Ryan continued her explanation. "It's a little bit hard for lesbians, Jamie. I mean, if a guy sees a good-looking woman, the odds are that she's straight. It's not that easy for me, though. It's hard to tell if women are gay or not until you spend a little time with them. After being with you for a while, it was pretty clear to me that you were straight. But I really did like talking to you, and I was a little lonely, so I thought it would be fun to just hang out. I suggested you come up here to make sure you didn't harm yourself or anyone else with your drivingnot to try to seduce you. But if you want to throw yourself at me, I promise I won't scream," she added soberly.

Jamie graced her with her gentle laugh and said, "You are such a tease! But thank you for forgiving me."

"Your reaction really surprised me," Ryan admitted. "Don't you know any other lesbians?"

"No, none that I know of. Maybe it's just the people I hang out with, but we're a pretty straight bunch."

"Want a little education?" Ryan asked, a tiny hint of a dare in her tone.

"Ahh... what do you have in mind?" she asked hesitantly, backing towards the door once again.

"Let me show you some of the sites I monitor. The wonderful world of lesbianism is really pretty interesting, and you sound like you could use some honest information about my people."

She hesitated for a long while, gazing at Ryan until she convinced herself to take a leap of faith and trust her. "Okay," she said gamely as she climbed onto the bed next to her.

By 9:30 Jamie was wearing Ryan's basketball sweats.h.i.+rt and a tremendously large pair of sweatpants. She was under the covers, but they weren't touching in any way - mostly because Ryan was being hypersensitive about giving Jamie s.p.a.ce. The blonde had been peppering her new friend with questions about lesbian life for the better part of a half hour, and to Ryan's experienced eye, she was no longer tipsy.

Over the course of their conversation, Ryan briefly told her of her first experience with Sara; she told her of how it felt to be gay at a young age; she explained that she had never been with a man; and she told her about her current dating practices. After all of the questions being hurled her way, she decided it was time to probe the stranger's psyche for a bit.

"Jamie, you now know everything about me but my hat size. But I'm the only one answering questions. Tell me about your love life."

"There's not much to tell," she admitted. "I've dated a lot of guys, but I've never gotten serious about any of them."

"You've never had a steady boyfriend?" Ryan asked. As Jamie shook her head, she persisted, "That seems funny to me. I would think that guys would absolutely love you."

"Why do you say that?" she asked, unable to suppress a delighted smile.

Ryan felt her stomach flip at the shy grin on the blonde's face, and she recognized the early-warning signs her libido was sending out. "I've got three older brothers and a dozen older cousins, and I guarantee every one of them would flip for you. You're just the kind of girl they like. Besides being very attractive, you're smart, and witty, and you look like you can take a lot of teasing. You're not one of those real 'girly' girls."

"I'm not girly?" she asked with an even bigger smile.

"You don't look like you'd be real high maintenance," she amended. "You just look like you'd be a lot of fun."

Jamie looked thoughtful for a moment as she admitted, "Men are pretty interested in me, Ryan, but I haven't ever felt the spark for any one guy. I know I'm picky, but sometimes I wonder what the problem is."

Ryan turned her entire torso so that they were face to face. She didn't say a word, just looked deeply into Jamie's eyes - holding her gaze for endless moments. Her eyes slid from the sea-green orbs flecked with specks of gold, to the perfectly arched brows that framed them so attractively. Sliding down, her eyes landed on the cupid's-bow mouth, the moist coral lips just begging to be kissed. She wasn't sure this was the time to make her move, but her heart was starting to beat loudly in her chest, and she could feel the first signs of arousal start to thrum in her body. From long experience, she knew that when she felt this way, the object of her attentions was usually traveling right along with her.

When her eyes flicked back to Jamie's, she saw the dilated pupils and noticed a slight flaring of her nostrils. Oh yeah... you're ready. Her voice was smooth, and warm, and so matter-of-fact that the question she posed seemed entirely natural. "Have you ever thought you might be gay, Jamie?"

The pupils dilated even larger, this time with alarm. "No, I don't think so," she said quickly, biting her lower lip nervously. "Uhm... I've asked myself that question a few times, but it just doesn't seem like that's it." She looked away briefly, seemingly gathering her courage. After a few slow blinks of those mesmerizing eyes, she looked back to find Ryan's deep blue gaze still locked upon her face. Her eyes lowered under the penetrating regard, and she heard herself speak the secret that she had never revealed to another soul. "Uhm... I have had some fantasies about women, though."

Ryan's voice dropped to its lowest register. "Fantasies? Do you want to talk about them?"

Jamie looked away again as she began to blush. "I... I've never told anyone about them," she said very softly. Her hesitant gaze met Ryan's briefly, and she whispered, "Do you really want to hear them?"

"If you want to tell me," the dark beauty replied, keeping her eyes riveted.

"I think I do," she began, but she seemed unable to get started, her voice quavering as she stammered helplessly. "I... I... uhm..."

Ryan tried to ease her way as much as she could. "I remember what it was like when I was first cognizant of my attractions. Want me to tell you what it was like for me?"

"Yes," Jamie agreed, her relief obvious.

"I used to fantasize about the feel of a woman's lips," Ryan sighed, rolling onto her back. "I'd never kissed anyone romantically, but somehow I knew it would be wonderful. It was," she said, a fond smile forming on her mouth.

"I think about that, too," Jamie agreed.

"The softness, the resiliency, the way you just melt together," Ryan dreamily mused. "It's wonderful."

"It sounds like it," Jamie sighed as she flopped onto her back as well and stared up at the ceiling.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a woman touch you?" Ryan asked quietly, after allowing her friend some time to let her imagination transport her.

Jamie's reply was a very small nod.

"That's wonderful, too," Ryan advised. "I've never been with a man, so this is just a guess, but I'd a.s.sume that they're usually pretty forceful and determined in bed - especially if you don't know them very well."

"Well, I don't have much experience either," Jamie admitted. "I'm sure that many guys are great lovers - I just haven't met them yet. The guys I've played around with have been all about getting me into bed as quickly as possible. Not very romantic," she added.

"Some women are like that, too," Ryan revealed. "But that hasn't been the norm for me. Most of the women I've been with are foreplay junkies," she chuckled. "That's my favorite kind of obsession."

"I can imagine," Jamie murmured.

Her eyes were closed, and Ryan knew she was imagining it right at that moment, so she decided to add a few images to her fantasy. "I love it when a woman undresses me slowly, letting me see how much she wants me. Then, when we're both naked, I love to have her touch me from head to toe - first with her hands - then with her mouth."

Jamie let out a soft, strangled cry, and Ryan urged, "It's okay, Jamie. You can trust me. Tell me what you dream about."

The smaller woman stared up at the ceiling for a few moments, then gathered her courage and said, "I don't do it very often," she warned, "but once in a while when I'm with a guy, I kind of... replace him... with a woman. Like if he's kissing me, and his beard starts to irritate my face, or if he kisses too forcefully, I let my mind wander, and imagine what it would feel like to have someone soft and smooth take his place."

"Do you only think about being kissed, or do you do more than that?" Ryan asked, rolling onto her side to rest her head on her braced hand.

As Jamie considered the question, she unconsciously imitated the posture. When she was ready to reply, they were facing each other, with about a foot of distance between them. "I think about other things too," she admitted, her gaze traveling everywhere but Ryan's eyes. She was unable to continue, and Ryan didn't push her.

"Just having those thoughts is no big deal," she a.s.sured her. "I bet nearly everyone would fantasize a little bit if they didn't try to fit into a rigid box that defines their s.e.xuality."

"I... I like being in a box," Jamie gulped. "I like having a label for how I feel - and I don't want that label to read 'lesbian'," she quietly admitted.

Ryan nodded thoughtfully. She tilted her head and asked, "Would you consider yourself a lesbian if you just dipped a toe into the pool? You know... just to see if you had any interest."

"Well, uhm... no, I wouldn't," she decided. "I've tried to think of a way I could do that, to tell you the truth. But it always felt like it would be too complicated. I don't know any lesbians, and that's not the kind of thing you ask your straight friends to do with you," she laughed wryly. "I'm also afraid of the repercussions if I experimented with someone I know. I mean, what if she liked it more than I did, or vice versa, you know?"

"I understand completely," Ryan said solemnly. "The perfect opportunity has just never come up."

"Yeah, I guess that's it," she agreed.

Ryan's face broke into an amused grin as she postulated, "I guess the perfect opportunity would be with a stranger, probably in a place where no one knew you, ideally with someone from out of town, and with someone who wouldn't expect anything from you in the future." She shook her head slowly as she leaned in just a bit and said, "That's a very tough order to fill. You might never get the chance." At the end of the sentence, she raised just one eyebrow in challenge, as she maintained her calm, open gaze.

Jamie slowly leaned in at a similar cant. The bedclothes rustled gently as she moved, and a single spring creaked. Her voice was thin and tremulous, but she gathered up her courage and asked, "If I ever found the right opportunity, what should I do?"

As Ryan's voice dropped even lower, she continued to move towards the center of the bed. Her eyes were half closed as she stared right at Jamie's lips. "I think you should make your dreams come true."

"But I don't know what to do," Jamie whispered. Her eyes closed, and she took in a breath to try to calm her racing heart.

"I'd love to help you fulfill your dreams," Ryan murmured gently. "But I don't want to frighten you, or talk you into doing anything that you're not entirely comfortable with. Tell me what you want, Jamie."

"I want to kiss you." The words were out before she could pull them back in. The blonde was shaking from antic.i.p.ation, and Ryan could feel the nervous energy rolling off her body.

"I want that, too," Ryan said, her voice confident and warm. "You have the most amazing lips. So soft and full. They're just about the most kissable lips I've ever seen."

Jamie smiled at her serene expression and scooted over until their b.r.e.a.s.t.s touched lightly. Ryan was still on her side, but she had dropped her head onto her pillow, waiting for Jamie to reach for her. Her eyes were still closed, but her lips were parted just enough to cause them to look moist and warm and inviting. As Jamie hovered over her, she slid her hand into Ryan's dark hair, and lowered her mouth until their lips were micrometers apart. She could feel her own heart thudding in her chest, as she closed the remaining gap and lightly brushed her lips against Ryan's. "Ooo... nice," she murmured as she went back for another slightly longer caress.

"Mmm-hmm," Ryan agreed sensually as she rolled over onto her back and sighed deeply.

"Does this feel good to you?" Jamie asked softly, as her confidence built and she s.h.i.+fted to lean over the long torso and lightly nibble on Ryan's bottom lip.

"Very, very good," Ryan whispered. "But I've been kissed by more women than I can count. The important question is: how does it feel to you?" Her hands were softly stroking Jamie's back as she looked up into those warm, green eyes.

"It feels very nice," she said as she snuck another kiss. "But in my fantasies I was being kissed. Can you... help me out?" She was still lying very close, and Ryan could feel her breath when she spoke.

"I'll do anything you ask me to do, Jamie," she said slowly. "Just tell me what you want."

"I want you to kiss me," she asked softly as she leaned in even closer.

With an amazingly quick and powerful move, Jamie was suddenly lying on her back, one long, muscular woman braced over her body - clear blue eyes gazing right into her soul. Ryan dipped her head and covered Jamie's soft, warm lips with her own, pressing insistently until the lips began to yield. The tiny groan that escaped from her mouth was echoed by her partner as they parted. "Like you imagined?" she asked in a volume just above a whisper.

"Exactly," she breathed with her eyes still closed. Her mouth quirked into a grin, and a little bit of the real Jamie peeked out. "But in my fantasy there are many kisses, and they're never interrupted by a question and answer period."

Ryan chuckled as she brought her hand up and lightly tweaked her partner's nose. "Now who's the tease?" she asked with a smile. But as her hand pa.s.sed by her visitor's face, she stroked her cheek with the tips of her fingers as she reminded her. "I said I'd do anything you asked for. I meant that sincerely, Jamie. But if you don't ask for it, I won't do it."

"Then let me be more clear," she whispered. "Kiss me again, Ryan."

With a confident smile, Ryan leaned over her and lowered her mouth. She started to nibble, just barely touching the coral-tinted lips, smiling to herself as Jamie sought to increase the contact.

"Like that?" the dark woman asked softly as she lifted her head.

"More," the blonde begged, her eyes still tightly closed.

"How many more?" Ryan asked.

"I want you to kiss me senseless!" Jamie demanded, surprising even herself. She pulled Ryan against her, and her mouth opened slightly as her eyes closed in antic.i.p.ation of the a.s.sault.

Ryan came in close and whispered, "I'm gonna kiss you 'til your eyes cross!" The little smirk that curled up on the corners of Jamie's mouth lasted only a minute until it was replaced by Ryan's smooth lips covering every inch of Jamie's.

The kisses varied in duration and intensity, and they were accompanied by ever more frenzied sounds that came from deep within Jamie's chest. Ryan had obviously kissed many women, and she had certainly learned a great deal from her varied experiences. She had an unerring ability to slowly increase the pa.s.sion of her attack until Jamie was nearly faint with arousal, but just when she was sure she could not take another moment of the sensual embrace, Ryan would back off and slowly lower the heat.

During these lighter moments, she would kiss down Jamie's jaw line, lightly flicking her pulse point with her tongue. After Ryan was sure that Jamie was able to breathe once again, she would dive right back in, and whip her into a frenzy.

After the third cycle, she waited until Ryan was working on the hollow between her collar bones to gasp out, "I can't take much more, Ryan, you've got to touch me."

"You know the rules," she hummed against the soft skin as she licked a wet path back up to a very sensitive pink ear. "You ask - you get."

"Oh G.o.d!" Jamie moaned pathetically. "I don't know what I want you to do!"

"Sure you do," Ryan purred. "It's no different than being with a man. You have certain parts of your body that you like to have touched... and kissed... and fondled. Just give me a little direction and I'll get right on it."

"But I... I've never asked for what I want," she groaned. "This is hard!"

"No rush," Ryan said easily as she started to kiss her again. "If you think of something, just shout it out."