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He pushes his fringe back. "I didn't want anybody to confuse me with Nate again. Ever."
The intense look he gives me confirms my earlier suspicion. Will did change how he looks because of me. "Three facts: one, I have wanted to get to know you for two years. Two, I regret lying to you more than you can imagine. Three, you are an incredible girl with a big heart, which I wanted a piece of."
I wrinkle my nose. "Nice, you wanted a piece of me."
"No, I wanted a piece of your heart. Yeah, the first reason I told you I was Nate was to join the group. But the fact is, I spent time with the girl I've obsessed about for a long time and she got under my skin."
I set the box on the stair next to me. "How could I ever trust you?"
Will points at his head. "I changed because of you. Not just my hair. Even before, I realised how s.h.i.+t I was being with chicks and how I was doing it to keep up with my brother. When I saw you with Shaun that night, something hit home; disgust over how guys can treat girls like Shaun does."
I shake my head. "Are you trying to tell me you've transformed into a sensitive, loving guy?"
He peers at me from under his fringe. "Why not find out?"
"The self-a.s.sured aspect hasn't left then?"
"Give me a chance, Fleur. Something was building between us; now I have a different name, that's all."
I look past him, fighting the part of me who's missed the guy's humour and attentiveness. The girl who, even though she didn't want to, adored his protective nature and the affection in his eyes. I believe he never deliberately played games; the only thing he hid was his name. But that's a huge hurdle to me.
"I remember that night after the concert, when Nate was rude. Your reaction surprised me and for a split second, I thought you'd switched that evening. I thought maybe Nate was the Will I met at the first party."
"No, that was all me. I didn't mean to embarra.s.s you. I genuinely wanted to talk to you."
"Uh huh."
Somebody pushes through the bodies between us and the lounge, in an attempt to reach the stairs. Nate stops and looks between us.
"Whoa, you never give up, do you?" he says to his brother.
"Why else do you think I wanted to come to her birthday party?"
"Birthday?" He blinks. "Didn't know."
"Twenty-first," I say.
"Cool. I don't remember ours. Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
Nate leans against the stair bannister and peers down at his brother. If I'd known the pair better at the time of Will's deceit, I'm positive I'd have been aware. Nate's att.i.tude toward me is indifferent; his scrutiny holds an edge of disdain.
"You told her everything?" Nate asks.
"Like what?"
"Like the chick last week."
I straighten and move my leg from Will's.
"What chick?"
"The journalist."
"Nothing happened!"
"Dude, she practically pinned you to the wall."
"Yeah, and I told her to leave me alone."
Nate snorts. "Sure, man."
"I'm not interested in other girls! I want Fleur," blurts Will.
Nate's face doesn't match the shock in mine. "Yeah, I know. 'Til you get her; then you'll become bored of waiting for what you really want. I doubt she'll give it up so easily."
"Why the f.u.c.k is it your business?" replies Will.
Nate makes a derisive noise and pulls himself from the bannister. He edges around and squeezes past before pausing to look at me. "It may've been me who said the words to you that night after the gig, Fleur, but I was only telling you what Will wouldn't."
"What does that mean?" I ask.
"He wants to f.u.c.k you. And I saw the look on your face when you thought I was him with the girls, that night after the gig. You were jealous. f.u.c.k the rock star already, if that's what you want, Fleur, and we can get this s.h.i.+t over with. You won't mean anything soon. We're heading up and there's no room for chicks there." Nate points at the ceiling, stumbles, and then walks up the remaining stairs.
I'd definitely never mistake that guy for Will.
I study my shoes, focusing on the scuffmark at the edge of my toes, as I tune out the twins. Almost. I almost believed Will for a moment there. They're experts at sweet-talking. Did Nate just call his brother out?
I half-listen to a nearby group who talk over each other in their drunk state. The box Will brought rests on the step next to me and adds to my confusion. Buying something, which took thought, is a bizarre gesture and not one of somebody looking for a quick f.u.c.k.
Separate him from what I've heard and read. See him as Will and not a Ruby Riot twin.
"Is Nate right? Is that what you want?" I ask after a couple minutes.
How do I interpret his expression? His dark eyes hold a mix of anger and concern, hands clenched over his knees. Will doesn't speak, and his steady gaze has a familiar effect on my heart rate. Why can't I dislike this man after everything he did?
"Do I want to f.u.c.k you?" he asks in a low voice.
"Yes."
"No. I told you the other night."
I switch my scrutiny to the half-empty beer cup, to the froth edging the sides.
"Fleur, I want to take you out, talk to you, listen to you. I want to share my free time with you. Be with you." He reaches out and touches my hand; and instead of recoiling, I let him curl his fingers around mine. "I want us. Of course, I want to kiss, touch, and everything else you can imagine. Maybe some things you can't imagine too." He bites his lip. "Sorry. But, f.u.c.k you? No."
"You use girls," I whisper.
"I'm not going to try to excuse myself; but I swear I would not use you." Will loosens his hand from mine and reaches out. His fingers hover at the edge of my face, until he strokes a strand of hair away. I s.h.i.+ver against the sensation of his fingertips against my skin. "Give me a chance to show you I mean this?"
"My head hurts. This is too much." I catch his hand and move it away. "Call me tomorrow. I need to think about what you're saying."
Will's eyes brighten. "Tomorrow?"
"Yes." I stand. "I'm too tired. I've had enough of all this." I gesture around me.
"You're going to bed?"
"I'm going to my room."
Will looks up at me. "Okay. I'll call you tomorrow."
That's it? No suggestive comment about accompanying me? I guess the guy knows when to cut his losses.
"Sure."
Will stands too, and we're crammed together on the stairs, my back close to the wall. Somebody b.u.mps Will and he knocks into me, steadying himself by placing an arm behind. I hold my breath and attempt to disconnect my heightened senses. Will moves and his chest no longer touches mine, but remains close and my mind fogs as I struggle to keep a handle on the blood rus.h.i.+ng to my face.
His green eyes are framed by dark lashes, a silver piercing through his brow, and with his hair in a different style, Will looks different to Nate. I want him to kiss me almost as much as I need him to walk away.
Will stumbles to one side as somebody knocks into him again. Nate. Will looks after him as he pa.s.ses on his way downstairs and I take the chance to step away.
"Night, Will."
Will purses his lips then picks the box up from the stairs. "Don't forget this."
As he pa.s.ses me the box, Will catches my fingers. "I'll call."
I nod.
With a small shake of his head, Will walks away into the throng of the party. Should I go too?
I head upstairs and shut the bedroom door. If I stay at the party and drink anymore, I'll end up with my lips locked to Will's in no time. Despite the fact that's exactly what I want, I am not making a public display with one of the Campbell twins anytime soon. There've been enough of those.
25.
FLEUR.
I've avoided meeting with Shaun for weeks, but I can't hold off forever. The last part of my dissertation I sent to him for critique, he ripped apart to the extent I almost sc.r.a.pped the whole paper. Permanently. Then I showed my work to Steph and she persuaded me not to. I haven't told her or anybody what the sleaze did. Is Shaun really doing this because I rejected him?
My palms sweat as I head into his office and I steel myself. I will not let him see how nervous I am. I will not let him talk down to me. I've repeated the mantra for the last hour, and I'm almost convinced.
Shaun sits at the desk, leaning back in his chair, and he looks up from the paper he's reading. Strange how a person's behaviour can remove the attraction; how his good looks are soured by his treatment of me.
Yet my attraction to Will isn't; what lies beneath his lies is a world away from what Shaun attempted. Will already called me. Twice. I didn't answer; I'm yet to make my mind up. Instead, I sent an 'I'll see you later' text.
"Fleur."
"Hey."
He gestures at the chair opposite; and as I sit, I focus on controlling my breathing. Shaun stares at me without speaking, eyes hard. My heart skips. Could this be any more uncomfortable? I hold his gaze, refusing to back down.
"What did you want?" he asks.
"We were booked to meet today."
"I'm not sure this is going to work out, Fleur."
"I was going to say the same thing."
Shaun sits forward and places his hands beneath his chin. "I don't want to waste my time."
"Totally understand."
"I was prepared to help you, but your work isn't at a level I can."
He's lying. "What? What do you mean?"
"To be honest, you're deluding yourself that you could match the level of the academic staff here."
The back of my neck p.r.i.c.kles at his criticism. "That's not true, you said..."
He gives a tight-lipped smile. "Sometimes I'm a little too encouraging when I don't want to hurt people's feelings."
"Encouraging of girls in particular?" I ask in a low voice.
"If I think they're worth my time and have the respect to pay me in kind."
"Pay you... This is about the other night!"
"I've no idea what you mean," he says and stands. "It's a shame I'll have to report back to the department about my concerns."
I stand too. "Do what you like, my work speaks for itself."
"Uh huh." He smiles to himself, a private joke that triggers unease down my spine. "We'll see about that."
I focus on controlling my response; he will not intimidate me, and if Shaun says or does anything to threaten my chances, I'll have a report of my own to make.
But what? What did he do? Nothing. Took me for a meal and kissed me; a kiss I wanted. Shaun stopped when I asked, never forced himself once I told him no. He saved his abuse for now through our power imbalance.