Fables of La Fontaine Part 37

V.--THE MAN AND THE FLEA.[11]

Impertinent, we tease and weary Heaven With prayers which would insult mere mortals even.

'Twould seem that not a G.o.d in all the skies From our affairs must ever turn his eyes, And that the smallest of our race Could hardly eat, or wash his face, Without, like Greece and Troy for ten years' s.p.a.ce, Embroiling all Olympus in the case.

A flea some blockhead's shoulder bit, And then his clothes refused to quit.

'O Hercules,' he cried, 'you ought to purge This world of this far worse than hydra scourge!

O Jupiter, what are your bolts about, They do not put these foes of mine to rout?'

To crush a flea, this fellow's fingers under, The G.o.ds must lend the fool their club and thunder!

[11] Aesop.

VI.--THE WOMEN AND THE SECRET.[12]

There's nothing like a secret weighs; Too heavy 'tis for women tender; And, for this matter, in my days, I've seen some men of female gender.

To prove his wife, a husband cried, (The night he knew the truth would hide,) 'O Heavens! What's this? O dear--I beg-- I'm torn--O! O! I've laid an egg!'

'An egg?' 'Why, yes, it's gospel-true.

Look here--see--feel it, fresh and new; But, wife, don't mention it, lest men Should laugh at me, and call me hen: Indeed, don't say a word about it.'

On this, as other matters, green and young, The wife, all wonder, did not doubt it, And pledged herself by Heaven to hold her tongue.

Her oath, however, fled the light As quick as did the shades of night.

Before Dan Phoebus waked to labour The dame was off to see a neighbour.

'My friend,' she said, half-whispering.

'There's come to pa.s.s the strangest thing-- If you should tell, 'twould turn me out of door:-- My husband's laid an egg as big as four!

As you would taste of heaven's bliss, Don't tell a living soul of this.'

'I tell! why if you knew a thing about me, You wouldn't for an instant doubt me; Your confidence I'll ne'er abuse.'

The layer's wife went home relieved; The other broil'd to tell the news; You need not ask if she believed.

A dame more busy could not be; In twenty places, ere her tea, Instead of one egg, she said three!

Nor was the story finish'd here: A gossip, still more keen than she, Said four, and spoke it in the ear-- A caution truly little worth, Applied to all the ears on earth.

Of eggs, the number, thanks to Fame, As on from mouth to mouth she sped, Had grown a hundred, soothly said, Ere Sol had quench'd his golden flame!

[12] Abstemius.

VII.--THE DOG THAT CARRIED HIS MASTER'S DINNER.

Our eyes are not made proof against the fair, Nor hands against the touch of gold.

Fidelity is sadly rare, And has been from the days of old.

Well taught his appet.i.te to check, And do full many a handy trick, A dog was trotting, light and quick, His master's dinner on his neck.

A temperate, self-denying dog was he, More than, with such a load, he liked to be.

But still he was, while many such as we Would not have scrupled to make free.

Strange that to dogs a virtue you may teach, Which, do your best, to men you vainly preach!

This dog of ours, thus richly fitted out, A mastiff met, who wish'd the meat, no doubt.

To get it was less easy than he thought: The porter laid it down and fought.

Meantime some other dogs arrive: Such dogs are always thick enough, And, fearing neither kick nor cuff, Upon the public thrive.

Our hero, thus o'ermatch'd and press'd,-- The meat in danger manifest,-- Is fain to share it with the rest; And, looking very calm and wise, 'No anger, gentlemen,' he cries: 'My morsel will myself suffice; The rest shall be your welcome prize.'

With this, the first his charge to violate, He snaps a mouthful from his freight.

Then follow mastiff, cur, and pup, Till all is cleanly eaten up.

Not sparingly the party feasted, And not a dog of all but tasted.

In some such manner men abuse Of towns and states the revenues.

The sheriffs, aldermen, and mayor, Come in for each a liberal share.

The strongest gives the rest example: 'Tis sport to see with what a zest They sweep and lick the public chest Of all its funds, however ample.

If any commonweal's defender Should dare to say a single word, He's shown his scruples are absurd, And finds it easy to surrender-- Perhaps, to be the first offender.

VIII.--THE JOKER AND THE FISHES.[13]

Some seek for jokers; I avoid.

A joke must be, to be enjoy'd, Of wisdom's words, by wit employ'd.

G.o.d never meant for men of sense, The wits that joke to give offence.

Perchance of these I shall be able To show you one preserved in fable.

A joker at a banker's table, Most amply spread to satisfy The height of epicurean wishes, Had nothing near but little fishes.

So, taking several of the fry, He whisper'd to them very nigh, And seem'd to listen for reply.

The guests much wonder'd what it meant, And stared upon him all intent.

The joker, then with sober face, Politely thus explain'd the case: 'A friend of mine, to India bound, Has been, I fear, Within a year, By rocks or tempests wreck'd and drown'd.

I ask'd these strangers from the sea To tell me where my friend might be.

But all replied they were too young To know the least of such a matter-- The older fish could tell me better.

Pray, may I hear some older tongue?'

What relish had the gentlefolks For such a sample of his jokes, Is more than I can now relate.

They put, I'm sure, upon his plate, A monster of so old a date, He must have known the names and fate Of all the daring voyagers, Who, following the moon and stars, Have, by mischances, sunk their bones, Within the realms of Davy Jones; And who, for centuries, had seen, Far down, within the fathomless, Where whales themselves are sceptreless, The ancients in their halls of green.

[13] Abstemius.

IX.--THE RAT AND THE OYSTER[14]

A country rat, of little brains, Grown weary of inglorious rest, Left home with all its straws and grains, Resolved to know beyond his nest.

When peeping through the nearest fence, 'How big the world is, how immense!'

He cried; 'there rise the Alps, and that Is doubtless famous Ararat.'

His mountains were the works of moles, Or dirt thrown up in digging holes!

Some days of travel brought him where The tide had left the oysters bare.

Since here our traveller saw the sea, He thought these sh.e.l.ls the s.h.i.+ps must be.

'My father was, in truth,' said he, 'A coward, and an ignoramus; He dared not travel: as for me, I've seen the s.h.i.+ps and ocean famous; Have cross'd the deserts without drinking, And many dangerous streams unshrinking; Such things I know from having seen and felt them.'

And, as he went, in tales he proudly dealt them, Not being of those rats whose knowledge Comes by their teeth on books in college.

Among the shut-up sh.e.l.l-fish, one Was gaping widely at the sun; It breathed, and drank the air's perfume, Expanding, like a flower in bloom.

Both white and fat, its meat Appear'd a dainty treat.

Our rat, when he this sh.e.l.l espied, Thought for his stomach to provide.

'If not mistaken in the matter,'