Tales and Novels Volume III Part 5

"The French officer found great difficulty in getting safe out of the town; but Clarence represented to the mob that he was a prisoner on his parole, and that it would be unlike Englishmen to insult a prisoner. So he got off without being pelted, and they both returned in safety to the house of General Y----, where they were to dine, and where they entertained a large party of officers with the account of this adventure.

"Mrs. Freke and I rejoiced in our escape, and we thought that the whole business was now over; but in this we were mistaken. The news of our duel, which had spread in the town, raised such an uproar as had never been heard, even at the noisiest election. Would you believe it?--The fate of the election turned upon this duel. The common people, one and all, declared that they would not vote either for Mr. Luttridge or Mr.

Freke, because _as how_--but I need not repeat all the _plat.i.tudes_ that they said. In short, neither ribands nor brandy could bring them to reason. With true English pig-headedness, they went every man of them and polled for an independent candidate of their own choosing, whose wife, forsooth, was a proper behaved woman.

"The only thing I had to console me for all this was Clarence Hervey's opinion that I looked better in man's clothes than my friend Harriot Freke. Clarence was charmed with my spirit and grace; but he had not leisure at that time to attach himself seriously to me, or to any thing.

He was then about nineteen or twenty: he was all vivacity, presumption, and paradox; he was enthusiastic in support of his opinions; but he was at the same time the most candid man in the world, for there was no set of tenets which could be called exclusively his: he adopted in liberal rotation every possible absurdity; and, to do him justice, defended each in its turn with the most ingenious arguments that could be devised, and with a flow of words which charmed the ear, if not the sense. His essay on female duelling was a most extraordinary performance; it was handed about in ma.n.u.script till it was worn out; he talked of publis.h.i.+ng it, and dedicating it to me. However, this scheme, amongst a million of others, he _talked of_, but never put into execution. Luckily for him, many of his follies evaporated in words. I saw but little either of him or his follies at this time. All I know about him is, that after he had lost his bet of a hundred guineas, as a pig-driver, by his knight-errantry in rescuing the female duellists from a mob, he wrote a very charming copy of verses upon the occasion; and that he was so much provoked by the stupidity of some of his brother officers who could not understand the verses, that he took a disgust to the army, and sold his commission. He set out upon a tour to the continent, and I returned with Harriot Freke to London, and forgot the existence of such a person as Clarence Hervey for three or four years. Unless people can be of some use, or unless they are actually present, let them be ever so agreeable or meritorious, we are very apt to forget them. One grows strangely selfish by living in the world: 'tis a perfect cure for romantic notions of grat.i.tude, and love, and so forth. If I had lived in the country in an old manor-house, Clarence Hervey would have doubtless reigned paramount in my imagination as the deliverer of my life, &c. But in London one has no time for thinking of deliverers. And yet what I did with my time I cannot tell you: 'tis gone, and no trace left. One day after another went I know not how. Had I wept for every day I lost, I'm sure I should have cried my eyes out before this time. If I had enjoyed any amus.e.m.e.nt in the midst of this dissipation, it would all have been very well; but I declare to you in confidence I have been tired to death. Nothing can be more monotonous than the life of a hackneyed fine lady;--I question whether a dray-horse, or--a horse in a mill, would willingly exchange places with one, if they could know as much of the matter as I do. You are surprised at hearing all this from me. My dear Belinda, how I envy you! You are not yet tired of every thing. _The world_ has still the gloss of novelty for you; but don't expect that can last above a season. My first winter was certainly entertaining enough.

One begins with being charmed with the bustle and glare, and what the French call _spectacle_; this is over, I think, in six months. I can but just recollect having been amused at the Theatres, and the Opera, and the Pantheon, and Ranelagh, and all those places, for their own sakes.

Soon, very soon, we go out to see people, not things: then we grow tired of seeing people; then we grow tired of being seen by people; and then we go out merely because we can't stay at home. A dismal story, and a true one. Excuse me for showing you the simple truth; well-dressed falsehood is a personage much more _presentable_. I am now come to an epoch in my history in which there is a dearth of extraordinary events.

What shall I do? Shall I invent? I would if I could; but I cannot. Then I must confess to you that during these last four years I should have died of ennui if I had not been kept alive by my hatred of Mrs.

Luttridge and of my husband. I don't know which I hate most--O, yes, I do--I certainly hate Mrs. Luttridge the most; for a woman can always hate a woman more than she can hate a man, unless she has been in love with him, which I never was with poor Lord Delacour. Yes! I certainly hate Mrs. Luttridge the most; I cannot count the number of extravagant things I have done on purpose to eclipse her. We have had rival routs, rival concerts, rival galas, rival theatres: she has cost me more than _she's_ worth; but then I certainly have mortified her once a month at least. My hatred to Mrs. Luttridge, my dear, is the remote cause of my love for you; for it was the cause of my intimacy with your aunt Stanhope.--Mrs. Stanhope is really a clever woman--she knows how to turn the hatred of all her friends and acquaintance to her own advantage.--To serve lovers is a thankless office compared with that of serving _haters_--polite haters I mean. It may be dangerous, for aught I know, to interpose in the quarrels of those who hate their neighbours, not only with all their souls, but with all their strength--the barbarians fight it out, kiss, and are friends. The quarrels which never come to blows are safer for a go-between; but even these are not to be compared to such as never come to words: your true silent hatred is that which lasts for ever. The moment it was known that Mrs. Luttridge and I had come to the resolution never to speak to one another, your aunt Stanhope began to minister to my hatred so, that she made herself quite agreeable. She one winter gave me notice that my adversary had set her heart upon having a magnificent entertainment on a particular day. On that day I determined, of course, to have a rival gala. Mrs. Stanhope's maid had a lover, a gardener, who lived at Chelsea; and the gardener had an aloe, which was expected soon to blow. Now a plant that blows but once in a hundred years is worth having. The gardener intended to make a public exhibition of it, by which he expected to gain about a hundred guineas. Your aunt Stanhope's maid got it from him for me for fifty; and I had it whispered about that an aloe in full blow would stand in the middle of one of Lady Delacour's supper tables. The difficulty was to make Mrs. Luttridge fix upon the very day we wanted; for you know we could not possibly put off the blowing of our aloe. Your aunt Stanhope managed the thing admirably by means of a _common friend_, who was not a suspected person with the Luttridges; in short, my dear, I gained my point--every body came from Mrs. Luttridge's to me, or to my aloe. She had a prodigiously fine supper, but scarcely a soul stayed with her; they all came to see what could be seen but once in a hundred years. Now the aloe, you know, is of a c.u.mbersome height for a supper ornament. My saloon luckily has a dome, and under the dome we placed it. Round the huge china vase in which it was planted we placed the most beautiful, or rather the most expensive hothouse plants we could procure. After all, the aloe was an ugly thing; but it answered my purpose--it made Mrs.

Luttridge, as I am credibly informed, absolutely weep with vexation. I was excessively obliged to your aunt Stanhope; and I a.s.sured her that if ever it were in my power, she might depend upon my grat.i.tude. Pray, when you write, repeat the same thing to her, and tell her that since she has introduced Belinda Portman to me, I am a hundred times more obliged to her than ever I was before.

"But to proceed with my important history.--I will not tire you with fighting over again all my battles in my seven years' war with Mrs.

Luttridge. I believe love is more to your taste than hatred; therefore I will go on as fast as possible to Clarence Hervey's return from his travels. He was much improved by them, or at least I thought so; for he was heard to declare, that after all he had seen in France and Italy, Lady Delacour appeared to him the most charming woman, _of her age_, in Europe. The words, _of her age_, piqued me; and I spared no pains to make him forget them. A stupid man cannot readily be persuaded out of his senses--what he sees he sees, and neither more nor less; but 'tis the easiest thing in the world to catch hold of a man of genius: you have nothing to do but to appeal from his senses to his imagination, and then he sees with the eyes of his imagination, and hears with the ears of his imagination; and then no matter what the age, beauty, or wit of the charmer may be--no matter whether it be Lady Delacour or Belinda Portman. I think I know Clarence Hervey's character _au fin fond_, and I could lead him where I pleased: but don't be alarmed, my dear; you know I can't lead him into matrimony. You look at me, and from me, and you don't well know which way to look. You are surprised, perhaps, after all that pa.s.sed, all that I felt, and all that I still feel about poor Lawless, I should not be cured of coquetry. So am I surprised; but habit, fas.h.i.+on, the devil, I believe, lead us on: and then, Lord Delacour is so obstinate and jealous--you can't have forgotten the _polite conversation_ that pa.s.sed one morning at breakfast between his lords.h.i.+p and me about Clarence Hervey; but neither does his lords.h.i.+p know, nor does Clarence Hervey suspect, that my object with him is to conceal from the world what I cannot conceal from myself--that I am a dying woman. I am, and I see you think me, a strange, weak, inconsistent creature. I was intended for something better, but now it is too late; a coquette I have lived, and a coquette I shall die: I speak frankly to you. Let me have the glory of leading Clarence Hervey about with me in public for a few months longer, then I must quit the stage. As to love, you know with me that is out of the question; all I ask or wish for is admiration."

Lady Delacour paused, and leaned back on the sofa; she appeared in great pain.

"Oh!--I am sometimes," resumed she, "as you see, in terrible pain. For two years after I gave myself that blow with the pistol, I neglected the warning twinges that I felt from time to time; at last I was terrified.

Marriott was the only person to whom I mentioned my fears, and she was profoundly ignorant: she flattered me with false hopes, till, alas! it was in vain to doubt of the nature of my complaint: then she urged me to consult a physician; that I would not do--I could not--I never will consult a physician,--I would not for the universe have my situation known. You stare--you cannot enter into my feelings. Why, my dear, if I lose admiration, what have I left? Would you have me live upon pity?

Consider what a dreadful thing it must be to me, who have no friends, no family, to be confined to a sick room--a sick bed; 'tis what I must come to at last, but not yet--not yet. I have fort.i.tude; I should despise myself if I had no species of merit: besides, it is still some occupation to me to act my part in public; and bustle, noise, nonsense, if they do not amuse or interest me, yet they stifle reflection. May you never know what it is to feel remorse! The idea of that poor wretch, Lawless, whom I actually murdered as much as if I had shot him, haunts me whenever I am alone. It is now between eight and nine years since he died, and I have lived ever since in a constant course of dissipation; but it won't do--conscience, conscience will be heard! Since my health has been weakened, I believe I have acquired more conscience. I really think that my stupid lord, who has neither ideas nor sensations, except when he is intoxicated, is a hundred times happier than I am. But I will spare you, Belinda; I promised that you should not have a _scene_, and I will keep my word. It is, however, a great relief to open my mind to one who has some feeling: Harriot Freke has none; I am convinced that she has no more feeling than this table. I have not yet told you how she has used me. You know that it was she who led or rather dragged me into that sc.r.a.pe with Lawless; for that I never reproached her. You know it was she who frightened me into fighting that duel with Mrs. Luttridge; for this I never reproached her. She has cost me my peace of mind, my health, my life; she knows it, and she forsakes, betrays, insults, and leaves me to die. I cannot command my temper sufficiently to be coherent when I speak of her; I cannot express in words what I feel. How could that most treacherous of beings, for ten years, make me believe that she was my friend? Whilst I thought she really loved me, I pardoned her all her faults--_all_--what a comprehensive word!--All, all I forgave; and continually said--'_but_ she has a good heart.' A good heart!--she has no heart!--she has no feeling for any living creature but herself. I always thought that she cared for no one but for me; but now I find she can throw me off as easily as she would her glove. And this, too, I suppose she calls a frolic; or, in her own vulgar language, fun. Can you believe it?--What do you think she has done, my dear? She has gone over at last to odious Mrs. Luttridge-actually she has gone down with the Luttridges to----s.h.i.+re. The independent member having taken the Chiltern Hundreds, vacates his seat: a new election comes on directly: the Luttridges are to bring in Freke--not Harriot's cousin--they have cut him,--but her husband, who is now to commence senator: he is to come in for the county, upon condition that Luttridge shall have Freke's borough. Lord Delacour, without saying one syllable, has promised his interest to this precious junto, and Lady Delacour is left a miserable cipher. My lord's motives I can clearly understand: he lost a thousand guineas to Mrs. Luttridge this winter, and this is a convenient way of paying her. Why Harriot should be so anxious to serve a husband whom she hates, bitterly hates, might surprise any body who did not know _les dessous des cartes_ as well as I do. You are but just come into the world, Belinda--the world of wickedness, I mean, my dear, or you would have heard what a piece of work there was a few years ago about Harriot Freke and this cousin of hers. Without betraying her confidence, I may just tell you what is known to every body, that she went so far, that if it had not been for me, not a soul would have visited her: she swam in the sea of folly out of her depth--the tide of fas.h.i.+on ebbed, and there was she left sticking knee deep in the mud--a ridiculous, scandalous figure. I had the courage and foolish good-nature to hazard myself for her, and actually dragged her to terra firma:--how she has gone on since I _cannot_ tell you precisely, because I am in the secret; but the catastrophe is public: to make her peace with her husband, she gives up her friend. Well, that I could have pardoned, if she had not been so base as to go over to Mrs. Luttridge. Mrs. Luttridge offered (I've seen the letter, and Harriot's answer) to bring in Freke, the husband, and to make both a county and a _family_ peace, on condition that Harriot should give up all connexion with Lady Delacour. Mrs. Luttridge knew this would provoke me beyond measure, and there is nothing she would not do to gratify her mean, malevolent pa.s.sions. She has succeeded for once in her life. The blame of the duel, of course, is all thrown upon me.

And (would you believe it?) Harriot Freke, I am credibly informed, throws all the blame of Lawless's business on me; nay, hints that Lawless's deathbed declaration of my innocence was _very generous_. Oh, the treachery, the baseness of this woman! And it was my fate to hear all this last night at the masquerade. I waited, and waited, and looked every where for Harriot--she was to be the widow Brady, I knew: at last the widow Brady made her appearance, and I accosted her with all my usual familiarity. The widow was dumb. I insisted upon knowing the cause of this sudden loss of speech. The widow took me into another apartment, unmasked, and there I beheld Mr. Freke, the husband. I was astonished--had no idea of the truth. 'Where is Harriot?' I believe, were the first words I said. 'Gone to the country.' 'To the country!'

'Yes; to----s.h.i.+re, with Mrs. Luttridge.'--Mrs. Luttridge--odious Mrs.

Luttridge! I could scarcely believe my senses. But Freke, who always hated me, believing that I led his wife, instead of her leading me into mischief, would have enjoyed my astonishment and my rage; so I concealed both, with all possible presence of mind. He went on over-whelming me with explanations and copies of letters; and declared it was at Mrs.

Freke's request he did and said all this, and that he was to follow her early the next morning to ----s.h.i.+re. I broke from him, simply wis.h.i.+ng him a good journey, and as much family peace as his patience merited. He knows that I know his wife's history, and though _she_ has no shame, he has some. I had the _satisfaction_ to leave him blus.h.i.+ng with anger, and I supported the character of the comic muse a full hour afterwards, to convince him that all their combined malice would fail to break my spirit in public: what I suffer in private is known only to my own heart."

As she finished these words, Lady Delacour rose abruptly, and hummed a new opera air. Then she retired to her boudoir, saying, with an air of levity, to Belinda as she left the room,

"Good bye, my dear Belinda; I leave you to ruminate sweet and bitter thoughts; to think of the last speech and confession of Lady Delacour, or what will interest you much more, the first speech and confession of--Clarence Hervey."

CHAPTER V.

BIRTHDAY DRESSES.

Lady Delacour's history, and the manner in which it was related, excited in Belinda's mind astonishment, pity, admiration, and contempt: astonishment at her inconsistency, pity for her misfortunes, admiration of her talents, and contempt for her conduct. To these emotions succeeded the recollection of the promise which she had made, not to leave her in her last illness at the mercy of an insolent attendant.

This promise Belinda thought of with terror: she dreaded the sight of sufferings which she knew must end in death: she dreaded the sight of that affected gaiety and of that real levity which so ill became the condition of a dying woman. She trembled at the idea of being under the guidance of one who was so little able to conduct herself: and she could not help blaming her aunt Stanhope severely for placing her in such a perilous situation. It was obvious that some of Lady Delacour's history must have been known to Mrs. Stanhope; and Belinda, the more she reflected, was the more surprised at her aunt's having chosen such a chaperon for a young woman just entering into the world. When the understanding is suddenly roused and forced to exert itself, what a mult.i.tude of deductions it makes in a short time! Belinda saw things in a new light; and for the first time in her life she reasoned for herself upon what she saw and felt. It is sometimes safer for young people to see than to hear of certain characters. At a distance, Lady Delacour had appeared to Miss Portman the happiest person in the world; upon a nearer view, she discovered that her ladys.h.i.+p was one of the most miserable of human beings. To have married her niece to such a man as Lord Delacour, Mrs. Stanhope would have thought the most fortunate thing imaginable; but it was now obvious to Belinda, that neither the t.i.tle of viscountess, nor the pleasure of spending three fortunes, could ensure felicity. Lady Delacour confessed, that in the midst of the utmost luxury and dissipation she had been a constant prey to ennui; that the want of domestic happiness could never be supplied by that public admiration of which she was so ambitious; and that the immoderate indulgence of her vanity had led her, by inevitable steps, into follies and imprudences which had ruined her health, and destroyed her peace of mind. "If Lady Delacour, with all the advantages of wealth, rank, wit, and beauty, has not been able to make herself happy in this life of fas.h.i.+onable dissipation," said Belinda to herself, "why should I follow the same course, and expect to be more fortunate?"

It is singular, that the very means which Mrs. Stanhope had taken to make a fine lady of her niece tended to produce an effect diametrically opposite to what might have been expected. The result of Belinda's reflections upon Lady Delacour's history was a resolution to benefit by her bad example; but this resolution it was more easy to form than to keep. Her ladys.h.i.+p, where she wished to please or to govern, had fascinating manners, and could alternately use the sarcastic powers of wit, and the fond tone of persuasion, to accomplish her purposes. It was Belinda's intention, in pursuance of her new plans of life, to spend, whilst she remained in London, as little money as possible upon superfluities and dress. She had, at her own disposal, only 100l. per annum, the interest of her fortune; but besides this, her aunt, who was desirous that she should go to court, and make a splendid figure there, had sent her a draught on her banker for two hundred guineas. "You will, I trust," said her aunt, at the conclusion of the letter, "repay me when you are established in the world; as I hope and believe, from what I hear from Lady Delacour of the power of your charms, you will soon be, to the entire satisfaction of all your friends. Pray do not neglect to mention my friend Clarence Hervey particularly when you write next.

I understand from one who is well acquainted with him, and who has actually seen his rent-roll, that he has a clear 10,000l. a year."

Belinda resolved neither to go to court, nor to touch her aunt's two hundred guineas; and she wrote a long letter to her, in which she explained her feelings and views at large. In this letter she meant to have returned Mrs. Stanhope's draught, but her feelings and views changed between the writing of this epistle and the going out of the post. Mrs. Franks, the milliner, came in the interim, and brought home Lady Delacour's beautiful dress: it was not the sight of this, however, which changed Belinda's mind; but she could not resist Lady Delacour's raillery.

"Why, my dear," said her ladys.h.i.+p, after having listened to all Miss Portman could say about her love of independence, and the necessity of economy to preserve that independence, "all this is prodigiously fine--but shall I translate it into plain English? You were mortally wounded the other night by some random reflections of a set of foolish young men--Clarence Hervey amongst the number; and instead of punis.h.i.+ng them, you sagely and generously determined to punish yourself. Then, to convince this youth that you have not a thought of those odious nets and cages, that you have no design whatever upon his heart, and that he has no manner of influence on yours, you very judiciously determine, at the first hint from him, to change your dress, your manners, and your character, and thus to say to him, in as plain terms as possible--'You see, sir, a word to the wise is enough; I understand you disapprove of showy dress and coquetry, and therefore, as I dressed and coquetted only to please you, now I shall lay aside dress and coquetry, since I find that they are not to your taste--and I hope, sir, you like my simplicity!' Depend upon it, my dear, Clarence Hervey understands simplicity as well as you or I do. All this would be vastly well, if he did not know that you overheard that conversation; but as he does know it, trust me, he will attribute any sudden change in your manners and appearance, right or wrong, to the motives I have mentioned. So don't, novice as you are! set about to manoeuvre for yourself. Leave all that to your aunt Stanhope, or to me, and then you know your conscience will be all the time as white as your hands,--which, by-the-bye, Clarence Hervey, the other day, said were the whitest hands he had ever seen.

Perhaps all this time you have taken it into your head that full dress will not become you; but I a.s.sure you that it will--you look well in any thing--

'But from the hoop's bewitching round, The very shoe has power to wound.'

So come down to Mrs. Franks, and order your birthnight dress like a reasonable creature."

Like a reasonable creature, Miss Portman followed Lady Delacour, and bespoke, or rather let her ladys.h.i.+p bespeak for her, fifty guineas'

worth of elegance and fas.h.i.+on. "You must go to the drawing-room with me next week, and be presented," said Lady Delacour, "and then, as it is the first time, you must be elegantly dressed, and you must not wear the same dress on the birthnight. So, Mrs. Franks, let this be finished first, as fast as you can, and by that time, perhaps, we shall think of something superlatively charming for the night of nights."

Mrs. Franks departed, and Belinda sighed. "A silver penny for your thoughts!" cried Lady Delacour. "You are thinking that you are like Camilla, and I like Mrs. Mitten. Novel reading.--as I dare say you have been told by your governess, as I was told by mine, and she by hers, I suppose--novel reading for, young ladies is the most dangerous----

"Oh, Clarence Hervey, I protest!" cried Lady Delacour, as he at this instant entered the room. "Do, pray, Clarence, help me out, for the sake of this young lady, with a moral sentence against novel reading: but that might go against your conscience, or your interest; so we'll spare you. How I regret that we had not the charming serpent at the masquerade the other night!"

The moment her ladys.h.i.+p mentioned the masquerade, the conversation which had pa.s.sed at Lady Singleton's came full into Clarence Hervey's recollection, and his embarra.s.sment was evident--not indeed to Belinda, who had turned away to look over some new music that lay upon a stand at the farthest end of the room; and she found this such a wonderfully interesting occupation, that she did not for some minutes hear, or appear to hear, one word of the conversation which was going on between Mr. Hervey and Lady Delacour. At last, her ladys.h.i.+p tapped her upon the shoulder, saying, in a playful tone, "Miss Portman, I arrest your attention at the suit of Clarence Hervey: this gentleman is pa.s.sionately fond of music--to my curse--for he never sees my harp but he worries me with reproaches for having left off playing upon it. Now he has just given me his word that he will not reproach me again for a month to come if you will favour us with one air. I a.s.sure you, Clarence, that Belinda touches a harp divinely--she would absolutely charm----" "Your ladys.h.i.+p should not waste such valuable praise," interrupted Belinda. "Do you forget that Belinda Portman and her accomplishments have already been as well advertised as Packwood's razor-strops?"

The manner in which these words were p.r.o.nounced made a great impression upon Clarence Hervey, and he began to believe it was possible that a niece of the match-making Mrs. Stanhope might not be "a compound of art and affectation." "Though her aunt has advertised her," said he to himself, "she seems to have too much dignity to advertise herself, and it would be very unjust to blame her for the faults of another person. I will see more of her."

Some morning visitors were announced, who for the time suspended Clarence Hervey's reflections: the effect of them, however, immediately appeared; for as his good opinion of Belinda increased, his ambition to please her was strongly excited. He displayed all his powers of wit and humour; and not only Lady Delacour but every body present observed, "that Mr. Hervey, who was always the most entertaining man in the world, this morning surpa.s.sed himself, and was absolutely the most entertaining man in the universe." He was mortified, notwithstanding; for he distinctly perceived, that whilst Belinda joined with ease and dignity in the general conversation, her manner towards him was grave and reserved. The next morning he called earlier than usual; but though Lady Delacour was always at home to him, she was then unluckily dressing to go to court: he inquired whether Miss Portman would accompany her ladys.h.i.+p, and he learnt from his friend Marriott that she was not to be presented this day, because Mrs. Franks had not brought home her dress.

Mr. Hervey called again two hours afterwards.--Lady Delacour was gone to court. He asked for Miss Portman. "Not at home," was the mortifying answer; though, as he had pa.s.sed by the windows, he had heard the delightful sound of her harp. He walked up and down in the square impatiently, till he saw Lady Delacour's carriage appear.

"The drawing-room has lasted an unconscionable time this morning,"

said he, as he handed her ladys.h.i.+p out of her coach, "Am not I the most virtuous of virtuous women," said Lady Delacour, "to go to court such a day as this? But," whispered she, as she went up stairs, "like all other amazingly good people, I have amazingly good reasons for being good. The queen is soon to give a charming breakfast at Frogmore, and I am paying my court with all my might, in hopes of being asked; for Belinda must see one of their galas before we leave town, _that_ I'm determined upon.--But where is she?" "Not at home," said Clarence, smiling. "Oh, not at home is nonsense, you know. s.h.i.+ne out, appear, be found, my lovely Zara!" cried Lady Delacour, opening the library door. "Here she is--what doing I know not--studying Hervey's Meditations on the Tombs, I should guess, by the sanctification of her looks. If you be not totally above all sublunary considerations, admire my lilies of the valley, and let me give you a lecture, not upon heads, or upon hearts, but on what is of much more consequence, upon hoops. Every body wears hoops, but how few--'tis a melancholy consideration--how very few can manage them!

There's my friend Lady C----; in an elegant undress she pa.s.ses for very genteel, but put her into a hoop and she looks as pitiable a figure, as much a prisoner, and as little able to walk, as a child in a go-cart.

She gets on, I grant you, and so does the poor child; but, getting on, you know, is not walking. Oh, Clarence, I wish you had seen the two Lady R.'s sticking close to one another, their father pus.h.i.+ng them on together, like two decanters in a bottle-coaster, with such magnificent diamond labels round their necks!"

Encouraged by Clarence Hervey's laughter, Lady Delacour went on to mimic what she called the hoop awkwardness of all her acquaintance; and if these could have failed to divert Belinda, it was impossible for her to be serious when she heard Clarence Hervey declare that he was convinced he could manage a hoop as well as any woman in England, except Lady Delacour.

"Now here," said he, "is the purblind dowager, Lady Boucher, just at the door, Lady Delacour; she would not know my face, she would not see my beard, and I will bet fifty guineas that I come into a room in a hoop, and that she does not find me out by my air--that I do not betray myself, in short, by my masculine awkwardness."

"I hold you to your word, Clarence," cried Lady Delacour. "They have let the purblind dowager in; I hear her on the stairs. Here--through this way you can go: as you do every thing quicker than any body else in the world, you will certainly be full dressed in a quarter of an hour; I'll engage to keep the dowager in scandal for that time. Go! Marriott has old hoops and old finery of mine, and you have all-powerful influence, I know, with Marriott: so go and use it, and let us see you in all your glory--though I vow I tremble for my fifty guineas."

Lady Delacour kept the dowager in scandal, according to her engagement, for a good quarter of an hour; then the dresses at the drawing-room took up another quarter; and, at last, the dowager began to give an account of sundry wonderful cures that had been performed, to her certain knowledge, by her favourite concentrated extract or anima of qua.s.sia.

She entered into the history of the negro slave named Qua.s.si, who discovered this medical wood, which he kept a close secret till Mr.

Daghlberg, a magistrate of Surinam, wormed it out of him, brought a branch of the tree to Europe, and communicated it to the great Linnaeus--when Clarence Hervey was announced by the t.i.tle of "The Countess de Pomenars."

"An emigree--a charming woman!" whispered Lady Delacour "she was to have been at the drawing-room to-day but for a blunder of mine: ready dressed she was, and I didn't call for her! Ah, Mad. de Pomenars, I am actually ashamed to see you," continued her ladys.h.i.+p; and she went forward to meet Clarence Hervey, who really made his entree with very composed a.s.surance and grace. He managed his hoop with such skill and dexterity, that he well deserved the praise of being a universal genius. The Countess de Pomenars spoke French and broken English incomparably well, and she made out that she was descended from the Pomenars of the time of Mad. de Sevigne: she said that she had in her possession several original letters of Mad. de Sevigne, and a lock of Mad. de Grignan's fine hair.

"I have sometimes fancied, but I believe it is only my fancy," said Lady Delacour, "that this young lady," turning to Belinda, "is not unlike your Mad. de Grignan. I have seen a picture of her at Strawberry-hill."

Mad. de Pomenars acknowledged that there was a resemblance, but added, that it was flattery in the extreme to Mad. de Grignan to say so.

"It would be a sin, undoubtedly, to waste flattery upon the dead, my dear countess," said Lady Delacour; "but here, without flattery to the living, as you have a lock of Mad. de Grignan's hair, you can tell us whether _la belle chevelure_, of which Mad. de Sevigne talked so much, was any thing to be compared to my Belinda's." As she spoke, Lady Delacour, before Belinda was aware of her intentions, dexterously let down her beautiful tresses; and the Countess de Pomenars was so much struck at the sight, that she was incapable of paying the necessary compliments. "Nay, touch it," said Lady Delacour--"it is so fine and so soft."

At this dangerous moment her ladys.h.i.+p artfully let drop the comb.

Clarence Hervey suddenly stooped to pick it up, totally forgetting his hoop and his character. He threw down the music-stand with his hoop.

Lady Delacour exclaimed "Bravissima!" and burst out a-laughing. Lady Boucher, in amazement, looked from one to another for an explanation, and was a considerable time before, as she said, she could believe her own eyes. Clarence Hervey acknowledged he had lost his bet, joined in the laugh, and declared that fifty guineas was too little to pay for the sight of the finest hair that he had ever beheld. "I declare he deserves a lock of _la belle chevelure_ for that speech, Miss Portman," cried Lady Delacour; "I'll appeal to all the world--Mad. de Pomenars must have a lock to measure with Mad. de Grignan's? Come, a second rape of the lock, Belinda."

Fortunately for Belinda, "the glittering forfex" was not immediately produced, as fine ladies do not now, as in former times, carry any such useless implements about with them.

Such was the modest, graceful dignity of Miss Portman's manners, that she escaped without even the charge of prudery. She retired to her own apartment as soon as she could.

"She pa.s.ses on in unblenched majesty," said Lady Delacour.