Tales and Novels Volume V Part 39

Thus moralizing in private with Miss Strictland and her own small party, Lady Glis...o...b..ry appeared silent and pa.s.sive before her husband and his adherents. After prophesying how it all must end in the ruin of her daughter Julia, she declared that she would never speak on this subject again: she showed herself ready, with maternal resignation, and in silent obduracy, to witness the completion of the sacrifice of her devoted child.

Lord Glis...o...b..ry was quite satisfied with having silenced opposition.

His new governess, established in her office, and with full and unlimited powers, went on triumphant and careless of her charge; she thought of little but displaying her own talents in company. The castle was consequently filled with crowds of amateurs; novels and plays were the order of the day; and a theatre was fitted up, all in open defiance of poor Lady Glis...o...b..ry. The daughter commenced her new course of education by being taught to laugh at her mother's prejudices. Such was the state of affairs when Vivian commenced his observations; and all this secret history he learnt by sc.r.a.ps, and hints, and inuendoes, from very particular friends of both parties--friends who were not troubled with any of Mr. Russell's scruples or discretion.

Vivian's attention was now fixed upon Lady Julia; he observed with satisfaction, that, notwithstanding her governess's example and excitement, Lady Julia did not show any exorbitant desire for general admiration; and that her manners were free from coquetry and affectation: she seemed rather to disdain the flattery, and to avoid both the homage and the company of men who were her inferiors in mental qualifications; she addressed her conversation princ.i.p.ally to Vivian and his friend Russell; with them, indeed, she conversed a great deal, with much eagerness and enthusiasm, expressing all her opinions without disguise, and showing on most occasions more imagination than reason, and more feeling than judgment. Vivian perceived that it was soon suspected by many of their observers, and especially by Lady Glis...o...b..ry and the Lady Sarah, that Julia had a design upon his heart; but he plainly discerned that she had no design whatever to captivate him; and that though she gave him so large a share of her company, it was without thinking of him as a lover: he saw that she conversed with him and Mr.

Russell, preferably to others, because they spoke on subjects which interested her more; and because they drew out her brother, of whom she was very fond. Her being capable, at so early an age, to appreciate Russell's character and talents; her preferring his solid sense and his plain sincerity to the brilliancy, the _fas.h.i.+on_, and even the gallantry of all the men whom her father had now collected round her, appeared to Vivian the most unequivocal proof of the superiority of her understanding and of the goodness of her disposition. On various occasions, he marked with delight the deference she paid to his friend's opinion, and the readiness with which she listened to reason from him--albeit unused and averse from reason in general. Impatient as she was of control, and confident, both in her own powers and in her instinctive moral sense (about which, by-the-bye, she talked a great deal of eloquent nonsense), yet a word or a look from Mr. Russell would reclaim her in her highest flights. Soon after Vivian commenced his observations upon this interesting subject, he saw an instance of what Russell had told him of the ease with which Lady Julia might be guided by a man of sense and strength of mind.

The tragedy of "The Fair Penitent," Calista by Miss Bateman, was represented with vast applause to a brilliant audience at the Glis...o...b..ry theatre. The same play was to be reacted a week afterwards to a fresh audience--it was proposed that Vivian should play Lothario, and that Lady Julia should play Calista: Miss Bateman saw no objection to this proposal: Lord Glis...o...b..ry might, perhaps, have had the parental prudence to object to his daughter's appearing in public at her age, in such a character, before a mixed audience: but, unfortunately, Lady Glis...o...b..ry bursting from her silence at this critical moment, said so much, and in such a prosing and puritanical manner, not only against her daughter's acting in this play, and in these circ.u.mstances, but against all _stage plays_, playwrights, actors, and actresses whatsoever, denouncing and anathematizing them all indiscriminately; that immediately Lord Glis...o...b..ry laughed--Miss Bateman took fire--and it became a trial of power between the contending parties. Lady Julia, who had but lately escaped from the irksomeness of her mother's injudicious and minute control, dreaded, above all things, to be again subjected to her and Miss Strictland; therefore, without considering the real propriety or impropriety of the point in question, without examining whether Miss Bateman was right or wrong in the licence she had granted, Lady Julia supported her opinion warmly; and, with all her eloquence, at once a.s.serted her own liberty, and defended the cause of the theatre in general. She had heard Mr. Russell once speak of the utility of a well-regulated public stage; of the influence of good theatric representations in forming the taste and rousing the soul to virtue: he had shown her Marmontel's celebrated letter to Rousseau on this subject; consequently, she thought she knew what his opinion must be on the present occasion: therefore she spoke with more than her usual confidence and enthusiasm. Her eloquence and her abilities transported her father and most of her auditors, Vivian among the rest, with astonishment and admiration: she enjoyed, at this moment, what the French call _un grand succes_; but, in the midst of the buzz of applause, Vivian observed that her eye turned anxiously upon Russell, who stood silent, and with a disapproving countenance.

"I am sure your friend, Mr. Russell, is displeased at this instant--and with me.--I must know why.--Let us ask him.--Do bring him here."

Immediately she disengaged herself from all her admirers, and, making room for Mr. Russell beside her, waited, as she said, to hear from him _ses verites_. Russell would have declined speaking, but her ladys.h.i.+p appealed earnestly and urgently for his opinion, saying, "Who will speak the truth to me if you will not? On whose judgment can I rely if not on yours?--You direct my brother's mind to every thing that is wise and good; direct mine: I am as desirous to do right as he can be: and you will find me--self-willed and volatile, as I know you think me--you will find me a docile pupil. Then tell me frankly--did I, just now, speak too much or too warmly? I thought I was speaking your sentiments, and that I _must_ be right. But perhaps it was not right for a woman, or so young a woman as I am, to support even just opinions so resolutely. And yet is it a crime to be young?--And is the honour of maintaining truth to be monopolized by age?--No, surely; for Mr. Russell himself has not that claim to stand forth, as he so often does, in its defence. If you think that I ought not to act Calista; if you think that I had better not appear on the stage at all, only say so!--All I ask is your opinion; the advantage of your judgment. And you see, Mr. Vivian, how difficult it is to obtain it!--But his friend, probably, never felt this difficulty!"

With a degree of sober composure, which almost provoked Vivian, Mr.

Russell answered this animated lady. And with a sincerity which, though politely shown, Vivian thought severe and almost cruel, Russell acknowledged that her ladys.h.i.+p had antic.i.p.ated some, but not all of his objections. He represented that she had failed in becoming respect to her mother, in thus publicly attacking and opposing her opinions, even supposing them to be ill-founded; and declared that, as to the case in discussion, he was entirely of Lady Glis...o...b..ry's opinion, that it would be unfit and injurious to a young lady to exhibit herself, even on a private stage, in the character in which it had been proposed that Lady Julia should appear.

Whilst Russell spoke, Vivian was charmed with the manner in which Lady Julia listened: he thought her countenance enchantingly beautiful, alternately softened as it was by the expression of genuine humility, and radiant with candour and grat.i.tude. She made no reply, but immediately went to her mother; and, in the most engaging manner acknowledged that she had been wrong, and declared that she was convinced it would be improper for her to act the character she had proposed. With that cold haughtiness of mien, the most repulsive to a warm and generous mind, the mother turned to her daughter, and said that, for her part, she had no faith in sudden conversions, and starts of good conduct made little impression upon her; that, as far as she was herself concerned, she forgave, as in charity it became her, all the undutiful insolence with which she had been treated; that, as to the rest, she was glad to find, for Lady Julia's own sake, that she had given up her strange, and, as she must say, _scandalous_ intentions.

"However," added Lady Glis...o...b..ry, "I am not so sanguine as to consider this as any thing but a respite from ruin; I am not so credulous as to believe in sudden reformations; nor, despicable as you and my lord do me the honour to think my understanding--am I to be made the dupe of a little deceitful fondling!"

Julia withdrew her arms, which she had thrown round her mother; and Miss Strictland, after breaking her netting silk with a jerk of indignation, observed, that, for her part, she wondered young ladies should go to consult their brother's tutor, instead of more suitable, and, perhaps, as competent advisers. Lady Julia, now indignant, turned away, and was withdrawing from before the triumvirate, when Lady Sarah, who had sat looking, even more stiff and constrained than usual, suddenly broke from her stony state, and, springing forward, exclaimed, "Stay, Julia!--Stay, my dear sister!--Oh, Miss Strictland! do my sister justice!--When Julia is so candid, so eager to do right, intercede for her with my mother!"

"First, may I presume to ask," said Miss Strictland, drawing herself up with starch malice; "first, may I presume to ask, whether Mr. Vivian, upon this occasion, declined to act Lothario?"

"Miss Strictland, you do not do my sister justice!" cried Lady Sarah: "Miss Strictland, you are wrong--very wrong!"

Miss Strictland, for a moment struck dumb with astonishment, opening her eyes as far as they could open, stared at Lady Sarah, and, after a pause, exclaimed, "Lady Sarah! I protest I never saw any thing that surprised me so much in my whole life!----Wrong!--very wrong!--I?----My Lady Glis...o...b..ry, I trust your ladys.h.i.+p----"

Lady Glis...o...b..ry, at this instant, showed, by a little involuntary shake of her head, that she was inwardly perturbed: Lady Sarah, throwing herself upon her knees before her mother, exclaimed, "Oh, madam!--mother! forgive me if I failed in respect to Miss Strictland!----But, my sister! my sister----!"

"Rise, Sarah, rise!" said Lady Glis...o...b..ry; "that is not a fit att.i.tude!--And you are wrong, very wrong, to fail in respect to Miss Strictland, my second self, Sarah. Lady Julia Lidhurst, it is you who are the cause of this--the only failure of duty your sister ever was guilty of towards me in the whole course of her life--I beg of you to withdraw, and leave me my daughter Sarah."

"At least, I have found a sister, and when I most wanted it," said Lady Julia. "I always suspected you loved me, but I never knew how much till this moment," added she, turning to embrace her sister; but Lady Sarah had now resumed her stony appearance, and, standing motionless, received her sister's embrace without sign of life or feeling.

"Lady Julia Lidhurst," said Miss Strictland, "you humble yourself in vain: I think your mother, my Lady Glis...o...b..ry, requested of you to leave your sister, Lady Sarah, to us, and to her duty."

"Duty!" repeated Lady Julia, her eyes flas.h.i.+ng indignation: "Is this what you call _duty_?--Never will I humble myself before you again--I _will_ leave you--I do leave you--now and for ever--DUTY!"

She withdrew:--and thus was lost one of the fairest occasions of confirming a young and candid mind in prudent and excellent dispositions. After humbling herself in vain before a mother, this poor young lady was now to withstand a father's reproaches; and, after the inexorable Miss Strictland, she was to encounter the exasperated Miss Bateman. Whether the Gorgon terrors of one governess, or the fury pa.s.sions of the other, were most formidable, it was difficult to decide.

Miss Bateman had written an epilogue for Lady Julia to recite in the character of Calista; and, with the combined irritability of auth.o.r.ess and governess, she was enraged at the idea of her pupil's declining to repeat these favourite lines. Lord Glis...o...b..ry cared not for the lines; but, considering his own authority to be impeached by his daughter's resistance, he treated _his Julia_ as a traitor to his cause, and a rebel to his party.

But Lady Julia was resolute in declining to play Calista; and Vivian admired the spirit and steadiness of her resistance to the solicitations and the flattery with which she was a.s.sailed by the numerous hangers-on of the family, and by the amateurs a.s.sembled at Glis...o...b..ry. Russell, who knew the warmth of her temper, however, dreaded that she should pa.s.s the bounds of propriety in the contest with her father and her governess; and he almost repented having given any advice upon the subject. The contest happily terminated in Lord Glis...o...b..ry's having a violent fit of the gout, which, as the newspapers informed the public, "ended for the season the Christmas hospitalities and theatrical festivities at Glis...o...b..ry Castle!"

Whilst his lords.h.i.+p suffered this fit of torture, his daughter Julia attended him with so much patience and affection, that he forgave her for not being willing to be Calista; and, upon his recovery, he announced to Miss Bateman that it was his will and pleasure that his daughter Julia should do as she liked on this point, but that he desired it to be understood that this was no concession to Lady Glis...o...b..ry's prejudices, but an act of his own pure grace.

To celebrate his recovery, his lords.h.i.+p determined to give a ball; and Miss Bateman persuaded him to make it a _fancy ball_. In this family, unfortunately, every occurrence, even every proposal of amus.e.m.e.nt, became a subject of dispute and a source of misery. Lady Glis...o...b..ry, as soon as her lord announced his intention of giving this fancy ball, declined taking the direction of an entertainment which approached, she said, too near to the nature of a masquerade to meet her ideas of propriety. Lord Glis...o...b..ry laughed, and tried the powers of ridicule and wit:

"But on th'impa.s.sive ice the lightnings play'd."

The lady's cool obstinacy was fully a match for her lord's petulance: to all he could urge, she repeated, "that such entertainments did not meet her ideas of propriety." Her ladys.h.i.+p, Lady Sarah, and Miss Strictland, consequently declared it to be their resolution, "to appear in their own proper characters, and their own proper dresses, and no others."

These three rigid seceders excepted, all the world at Glis...o...b..ry Castle, and within its sphere of attraction, were occupied with preparations for this ball. Miss Bateman was quite in her element, flattered and flattering, consulting and consulted, in the midst of novels, plays, and poetry, prints, and pictures, searching for appropriate characters and dresses. This preceptress seemed to think and to expect that others should deem her office of governess merely a subordinate part of her business: she considered her having accepted of the superintendence of the education of Lady Julia Lidhurst as a prodigious condescension on her part, and a derogation from her rank and pretensions in the literary and fas.h.i.+onable world; a peculiar and sentimental favour to Lord Glis...o...b..ry, of which his lords.h.i.+p was bound in honour to show his sense, by treating her as a member of his family, not only with distinguished politeness, but by _deferring_ to her opinion in all things, so as to prove to her satisfaction that she was considered _only_ as a friend, and not at all as a governess. Thus she was raised as much above that station in the family in which she could be useful, as governesses in other houses have been sometimes depressed below their proper rank. Upon this, as upon all occasions, Miss Bateman was the first person to be thought of--her character and her dress were the primary points to be determined; and they were points of no easy decision, she having proposed for herself no less than five characters--the fair Rosamond, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Sigismunda, and Circe. After minute consideration of the dresses, which, at a fancy ball, were to const.i.tute these characters, fair Rosamond was rejected, "because the old English dress m.u.f.fled up the person too much; Joan of Arc would find her armour inconvenient for dancing; Cleopatra's diadem and royal purple would certainly be truly becoming, but then her regal length of train was as inadmissible in a dancing-dress as Joan of Arc's armour." Between Sigismunda and Circe, Miss Bateman's choice long vibrated. The Spanish and the Grecian costume had each its claims on her favour: for she was a.s.sured they both became her remarkably. Vivian was admitted to the consultation: he was informed that there must be both a Circe and a Sigismunda; and that Lady Julia was to take whichever of the two characters Miss Bateman declined. Pending the deliberation, Lady Julia whispered to Vivian, "For mercy's sake! contrive that I may not be doomed to be Circe; for Circe is no better than Calista."

Vivian was charmed with her ladys.h.i.+p's delicacy and discretion; he immediately decided her governess, by pointing out the beautiful head-dress of Flaxman's Circe, and observing that Miss Bateman's hair (which was a wig) might easily be arranged, so as to produce the same effect. Lady Julia rewarded Vivian for this able and successful manoeuvre by one of her sweetest smiles. Her smiles had now powerful influence over his heart. He rebelled against Russell's advice, to take more time to consider how far his character was suited to hers: he was conscious, indeed, that it would be more prudent to wait a little longer before he should declare his pa.s.sion, as Lady Julia was so very young and enthusiastic, and as her education had been so ill managed; but he argued that the worse her education, and the more imprudent the people about her, the greater was her merit in conducting herself with discretion, and in trying to restrain her natural enthusiasm. Russell acknowledged this, and gave all due praise to Lady Julia; yet still he represented that Vivian had been acquainted with her so short time that he could not be a competent judge of her temper and disposition, even if his judgment were cool; but it was evident that his pa.s.sions were now engaged warmly in her favour. All that Russell urged for delay so far operated, however, upon Vivian, that he adopted a half measure, and determined to try what chance he might have of pleasing her before he should either declare his love to her ladys.h.i.+p, or make his proposal to her father. A favourable opportunity soon occurred. On the day appointed for the fancy ball, the young Lord Lidhurst, who was to be Tancred, was taken ill of a feverish complaint: he was of a very weakly const.i.tution, and his friends were much alarmed by his frequent indispositions. His physicians ordered quiet; he was confined to his own apartment; and another Tancred was of course to be sought for: Vivian ventured to offer to a.s.sume the character; and his manner, when he made this proposal to his fair Sigismunda, though it was intended to be merely polite and gallant, was so much agitated, that she now, for the first time, seemed to perceive the state of his heart. Colouring high, her ladys.h.i.+p answered, with hesitation unusual to her, "that she believed--she fancied--that is, she understood from her brother--that he had deputed Mr. Russell to represent Tancred in his place."

Vivian was not displeased by this answer: the change of colour and evident embarra.s.sment appeared to him favourable omens; and he thought that whether the embarra.s.sment arose from unwillingness to let any man but her brother's tutor, a man domesticated in the family, appear as her Tancred, or whether she was afraid of offending Mr. Russell, by changing the arrangement her brother had made; in either case Vivian felt ready, though a man in love, to approve of her motives. As to the rest, he was certain that Russell would decline the part a.s.signed him; and, as Vivian expected, Russell came in a few minutes to resign his pretensions, or rather to state that though Lord Lidhurst had proposed it, he had never thought of accepting the honour; and that he should, in all probability, not appear at the ball, because he was anxious to stay as much as possible with Lord Lidhurst, whose indisposition increased instead of abating. Lord Glis...o...b..ry, after this explanation, came in high spirits, and with much satisfaction in his countenance and manner, said he was happy to hear that his Sigismunda was to have Mr. Vivian for her Tancred. So far all was prosperous to our hero's hopes.

But when he saw Lady Julia again, which was not till dinner time, he perceived an unfavourable alteration in her manner; not the timidity or embarra.s.sment of a girl who is uncertain whether she is or is not pleased, or whether she should or should not appear to be pleased by the first approaches of a new lover; but there was in her manner a decided haughtiness, and an unusual air of displeasure and reserve. Though he sat beside her, and though in general her delightful conversation had been addressed either to him or Mr. Russell, they were now both deprived of this honour; whatever she said, and all she said, was unlike herself, was directed to persons opposite to her, even to the captain, the lawyer, and the family parasites, whose existence she commonly seemed to forget. She ate as well as spoke in a hurried manner, and as if in defiance of her feelings. Whilst the courses were changing, she turned towards Mr. Vivian, and after a rapid examining glance at his countenance, she said, in a low voice--"You must think me, Mr. Vivian, very unreasonable and whimsical, but I have given up all thoughts of being Sigismunda. Will you oblige me so far as not to appear in the dress of Tancred to-night? You will thus spare me all farther difficulty. You know my mother and sister have declared their determination not to wear any fancy dress; and though my father is anxious that I should, I believe it may be best that, in this instance, I follow my own judgment.--May I expect that you will oblige me?"

Vivian declared his entire submission to her ladys.h.i.+p's judgment: and he now was delighted to be able to forgive her for all seeming caprice; because he thought he saw an amiable motive for her conduct--the wish not to displease her mother, and not to excite the jealousy of her sister.

The hour when the ball was to commence arrived; the room filled with company; and Vivian, who flattered himself with the pleasure of dancing all night with Lady Julia, as the price of his prompt obedience, looked round the room in search of his expected partner, but he searched in vain. He looked to the door at every new entrance--no Lady Julia appeared. Circe, indeed, was every where to be seen and heard, and an uglier Circe never touched this earth; but she looked happily confident in the power of her charms. Whilst she was intent upon fascinating Vivian, he was impatiently waiting for a moment's intermission of her volubility, that he might ask what had become of Lady Julia.

"Lady Julia?--She's somewhere in the room, I suppose.--Oh! no: I remember, she told me she would go and sit a quarter of an hour with her brother. She will soon make her appearance, I suppose; but I am so angry with her for disappointing us all, and you in particular, by changing her mind about Sigismunda!--Such a capital Tancred as you would have made! and now you are no character at all! But then, you are only on a par with certain ladies. Comfort yourself with the great Pope's (I fear too true) reflection, that

'Most women have no characters at all.'"

Miss Bateman's eye glanced insolently, as she spoke, upon Lady Glis...o...b..ry's trio, who pa.s.sed by at this instant, all without fancy dresses. Vivian shocked by this ill-breeding towards the mistress of the house, offered his arm immediately to Lady Glis...o...b..ry, and conducted her with Lady Sarah and Miss Strictland to their proper places, where, having seated themselves, each in the same att.i.tude precisely, they looked more like martyrs prepared for endurance, than like persons in a ball-room. Vivian stayed to speak a few words to Lady Glis...o...b..ry, and was just going away, when her ladys.h.i.+p, addressing him with more than her usual formality, said, "Mr. Vivian, I see, has not adopted the fas.h.i.+on of the day; and as he is the only gentleman present, whose fancy dress does not proclaim him engaged to some partner equally _fanciful_, I cannot but wish that my daughter, Lady Sarah, should, if she dance at all to-night, dance with a gentleman in his own proper character."

Vivian, thus called upon, felt compelled to ask the honour of Lady Sarah's hand; but he flattered himself, that after the first dance he should have done his duty, and that he should be at liberty by the time Julia should make her appearance. But, to his great disappointment, Mr. Russell, who came in just as he had finished the first two dances, informed him that Lady Julia was determined not to appear at the ball, but to stay with her brother, who wished for her company. So poor Vivian found himself doomed to be Lady Sarah's partner for the remainder of the night. It happened that, as he was handing her ladys.h.i.+p to supper, in pa.s.sing through an antechamber where some of the neighbours of inferior rank had been permitted to a.s.semble to see _the show_, he heard one farmer's wife say to another, "Who _beas_ that there, that's handing of Lady Sarah?"--They were detained a little by the crowd, so that he had time to hear the whole answer.--"Don't you know?" was the answer. "That there gentleman is Mr. Vivian of the new castle, that is to be married to her directly, and that's what he's come here for; for they've been engaged to one another ever since the time o' the election."

This speech disturbed our hero's mind considerably; for it awakened a train of reflections which he had wilfully left dormant. Will it, can it be believed, that after all his friend Russell's exhortations, after his own wise resolutions, he had never yet made any of those explanatory speeches he had intended?

"Positively," said he to himself, "this report shall not prevail four-and-twenty hours longer. I will propose for Lady Julia Lidhurst before I sleep. Russell, to be sure, advises me not to be precipitate--to take more time to study her disposition; but I am acquainted with her sufficiently;" (he should have said, I am in love with her sufficiently;) "and really now, I am bound in honour immediately to declare myself--it is the best possible way of putting a stop to a report which will be ultimately injurious to Lady Sarah."

Thus Vivian made his past irresolution an excuse for his present precipitation, flattering himself, as men often do when they are yielding to the impulse of their pa.s.sions, that they are submitting to the dictates of reason. At six o'clock in the morning the company dispersed. Lord Glis...o...b..ry and Vivian were the last in the ball-room.

His lords.h.i.+p began some raillery upon our hero's having declined appearing as Tancred, and upon his having devoted himself all night to Lady Sarah. Vivian seized the moment to explain his real feelings, and he made his proposal for Lady Julia. It was received with warm approbation by the father, who seemed to rejoice the more in this proposal, because he knew that it would disappoint and mortify Lady Glis...o...b..ry. The interests of his hatred seemed, indeed, to occupy his lords.h.i.+p more than the interests of Vivian's love; but politeness threw a decent veil over these feelings; and, after saying all that could be expected of the satisfaction it must be to a father to see his daughter united to a man of Mr. Vivian's family, fortune, talents, and great respectability; and after having given, incidentally and parenthetically, his opinions, not only concerning matrimony, but concerning all other affairs of human life, he wished his future son-in-law a very good night, and left him to repose. But no rest could Vivian take--he waited with impatience, that made every hour appear at least two, for the time when he was again to meet Lady Julia. He saw her at breakfast; but he perceived by her countenance that she as yet knew nothing of his proposal. After breakfast Lord Glis...o...b..ry said, "Come with me, my little Julia! it is a long time since I've had a walk and a talk with you." His lords.h.i.+p paced up and down the terrace, conversing earnestly with her for some time: he then went on to some labourers, who were cutting down a tree at the farther end of the avenue. Vivian hastened out to meet Lady Julia, who, after standing deep in thought for some moments, seemed returning towards the castle.

CHAPTER IX.

"Mr. Vivian, I trust that I am not deficient in maidenly modesty,"

said Lady Julia, "when it is not incompatible with what I deem a higher virtue--sincerity. Now and ever, frankness is, and shall be, my only policy. The confidence I am about to repose in you, sir, is the strongest proof of my esteem, and of the grat.i.tude I feel for your attachment.--My heart is no longer in my power to bestow. It is--young as I am, I dare to p.r.o.nounce the words--irrevocably fixed upon one who will do honour to my choice. Your proposal was made to my father--Why was it not made to me?--Men--all men but one--treat women as puppets, and then wonder that they are not rational creatures!--Forgive me this too just reproach. But, as I was going to say, your proposal has thrown me into great difficulties--the greater because my father warmly approves of it. I have a strong affection for him; and, perhaps, a year or two ago, I should, in the ignorance in which I was dogmatically brought up, have thought it my duty to submit implicitly to parental authority, and to receive a husband from the hands of a father, without consulting either my own heart or my own judgment. But, since my mind has been more enlightened, and has opened to higher views of the dignity of my s.e.x, and higher hopes of happiness, my ideas of duty have altered; and, I trust, I have sufficient courage to support my own idea of the rights of my s.e.x, and my firm conviction of what is just and becoming."

Vivian was again going to say something; but, whether against or in favour of the rights of the s.e.x, he had not clearly decided; when her ladys.h.i.+p saved him the trouble, by proceeding with the train of her ideas.

"My sincerity towards my father will, perhaps, cost me dear; but I cannot repent of it. As soon as I knew the state of my own heart--which was not till very lately--which was not, indeed, till you gave me reason to think you seriously liked me--I openly told my father all I knew of my own heart. Would you believe it?--I am sure I should not, unless I had seen and felt it--my father, who, you know, professes the most liberal opinions possible; my father, who, in conversation is 'All for love, and the world well lost;' my father, who let Miss Bateman put the Heloise into my hands, was astonished, shocked, indignant, at his own daughter's confession, I should say, a.s.sertion of her preference of a man of high merit, who wants only the advantages, if they be advantages, of rank and fortune.

"Mr. Vivian," continued she, "may I hope that now, when you must be convinced of the inefficacy of any attempt either to win or to control my affections, you will have the generosity to spare me all unnecessary contest with my father? It must render him more averse from the only union that can make his daughter happy; and it may ruin the fortunes of--the first, in my opinion, of human beings. I will request another favour from you--and let my willingness to be obliged by you convince you that I appreciate your character--I request that you will not only keep secret all that I have said to you; but that, if accident, or your own penetration, should hereafter discover to you the object of my affection, you will refrain from making any use of that discovery to my disadvantage. You see how entirely I have thrown myself on your honour and generosity."

Vivian a.s.sured her that the appeal was powerful with him; and that, by mastering his own pa.s.sions, and sacrificing his feelings to hers, he would endeavour to show his strong desire to secure, at all events, her happiness.

"You are truly generous, Mr. Vivian, to listen to me with indulgence, to wish for my happiness, whilst I have been wounding your feelings. But, without any impeachment of your sincerity, or yet of your sensibility, let me say, that yours will be only a transient disappointment. Your acquaintance with me is but of yesterday, and the slight impression made on your mind will soon be effaced; but upon my mind there has been time to grave a deep, a first charactery of love, that never, whilst memory holds her seat, can be erased.--I believe," said Julia, checking herself, whilst a sudden blush overspread her countenance--"I am afraid that I have said too much, too much for a woman. The fault of my character, I know, I have been told, is the want of what is called RESERVE."

Blus.h.i.+ng still more deeply as she p.r.o.nounced these last words, the colour darting up to her temples, spreading over her neck, and making its way to the very tips of her fingers, "Now I have done worse," cried she, covering her face with her hands. But the next moment, resuming, or trying to resume her self-possession, she said, "It is time that I should retire, now that I have revealed my whole heart to you. It has, perhaps, been imprudently opened; but for that, your generosity, sir, is to blame. Had you shown more selfishness, I should a.s.suredly have exerted more prudence, and have treated you with less confidence."