Tales and Novels Volume VII Part 16

Buckhurst immediately wrote to Caroline a pa.s.sionate declaration of the constancy and ardour of his attachment, and entreated her permission to wait upon her immediately.

"Do not sacrifice me," said Buckhurst, "to idle niceties. That I have many faults, I am conscious; but none, I trust, for which you ought utterly to condemn me--none but what you can cure. I am ready to be every thing which you approve. Give me but leave to hope. There is no sacrifice I will not make to facilitate, to expedite our union. I have been ordained, one living I possess, and that which Colonel Hauton has promised me will soon come into my possession. Believe me, I was decided to go into the church by my attachment--to my pa.s.sion for you, every scruple, every consideration gave way. As to the rest, I shall never be deterred from following the dictates of my heart by the opposition of ambitious parents. Caroline, do not sacrifice me to idle niceties--I know I have the misfortune not to please your brother Alfred: to do him justice, he has fairly told me that he does not think me worthy of _his sister Caroline_. I forgive him, I admire him for the pride with which he p.r.o.nounces the words, _my sister Caroline_. But though she may easily find a more faultless character, she will never find a warmer heart, or one more truly--more ardently attached."

There was something frank, warm, and generous in this letter, which pleased Rosamond, and which, she said, justified her good opinion of Buckhurst. Indeed, the great merit of being ardently attached to her sister Caroline was sufficient, in Rosamond's eyes, to cover a mult.i.tude of sins: and the contrast between his warmth at this moment, and the coldness of the rest of his family, struck her forcibly. Rosamond thought that Alfred had been too severe in his judgment, and observed, that it was in vain to look with a lantern all over the world for a faultless character--a monster. It was quite sufficient if a woman could find an honest man--that She was sure Buckhurst had no faults but what love would cure.

"But love has not cured him of any yet," said Caroline.

"Try marriage," said Rosamond, laughing.

Caroline shook her head. "Consider at what expense that trial must be made."

At the first reading of Buckhurst's letter Caroline had been pleased with it; but on a second perusal, she was dissatisfied with the pa.s.sage about his parents, nor could she approve of his giving up what he now called his _scruples_, to obtain a competence for the woman he professed to adore. She knew that he had been leading a dissipated life in town; that he must, therefore, be less fit than he formerly was to make a good husband, and still less likely to make a respectable clergyman. He had some right feeling, but no steady principle, as Caroline observed. She was grateful for the constancy of his attachment, and for the generosity he showed in his whole conduct towards her; nor was she insensible to the urgency with which Rosamond pleaded in his favour: but she was firm in her own judgment; and her refusal, though expressed in the terms that could best soften the pain it must give, was as decided as possible.

Soon after her letter had been sent, she and Rosamond had taken a longer walk one evening than usual, and, eager in conversation, went on so far in this wild unfrequented part of the country, that when they saw the sun setting, they began to fear they should not reach home before it was dark. They wished to find a shorter way than that by which they went, and they looked about in hopes of seeing some labourer (some _swinked hedger_) returning from his work, or a cottage where they could meet with a guide.--But there was no person or house within sight. At last Caroline, who had climbed upon a high bank in the lane where they were walking, saw a smoke rising between some trees at a little distance; and toward this spot they made their way through another lane, the entrance to which had been stopped up with furze bushes. They soon came within sight of a poor-looking cottage, and saw a young woman walking very slowly with a child in her arms. She was going towards the house, and did not perceive the young ladies till they were close to her. She turned suddenly when they spoke--started--looked frightened and confused; the infant began to cry, and hus.h.i.+ng it as well as she could, she answered to their questions with a bewildered look, "I don't know indeed--I can't tell--I don't know any thing, ladies--ask at the cottage, yonder." Then she quickened her pace, and walked so fast to the house, that they could hardly keep up with her. She pushed open the hatch door, and called "Dorothy! Dorothy, come out." But no Dorothy answered.--The young woman seemed at a loss what to do; and as she stood hesitating, her face, which had at first appeared pale and emaciated, flushed up to her temples. She looked very handsome, but in ill-health.

"Be pleased, ladies," said she, with diffidence, and trembling from head to foot, "be pleased to sit down and rest, ladies. One will be in directly who knows the ways--I am a stranger in these parts."

As soon as she had set the chairs, she was retiring to an inner room, but her child, who was pleased with Caroline's face as she smiled and nodded at him, stretched out his little hands towards her.

"Oh! let my sister give him a kiss," said Rosamond. The mother stopped, yet appeared unwilling. The child patted Caroline's cheek, played with her hair, and laughed aloud. Caroline offered to take the child in her arms, but the mother held him fast, and escaped into the inner room, where they heard her sobbing violently. Caroline and Rosamond looked at one another in silence, and left the cottage by tacit consent, sorry that they had given pain, and feeling that they had no right to intrude further. "We can go home the same way that we came," said Caroline, "and that is better than to trouble any body."

"Certainly," said Rosamond: "yet I should like to know something more about this poor woman if I could, without--If we happened to meet Dorothy, whoever she is."

At this instant they saw an old woman come from a copse near the cottage, with a bundle of sticks on her back and a tin can in her hand: this was Dorothy. She saved them all the trouble and delicacy of asking questions, for there was not a more communicative creature breathing.

She in the first place threw down her f.a.ggots, and offered her service to guide the young ladies home; she guessed they belonged to the family that was newly come to settle at the Hills, which she described, though she could not tell the name. She would not be denied the pleasure of showing them the shortest and safest way, and the only way by which they could get home before it was night-fall. So they accepted her kind offer, and she trudged on, talking as she went.

"It is a weary thing, ladies, to live in this lone place, where one does not see a soul to speak to from one month's end to another--especially to me that has lived afore now in my younger days in Lon'on. But it's as G.o.d pleases! and I wish none had greater troubles in this world than I--You were up at the house, ladies? There within at my little place--ay--then you saw the greatest and the only great trouble I have, or ever had in this life.--Did not you, ladies, see the young woman with the child in her arms?--But may be you did not mind Kate, and she's nothing now to look at, quite faded and gone, though she's only one month past nineteen years of age. I am sure I ought to know, for I was at her christening, and nursed her mother. She's of very good parentage, that is, of a farmer's family, that _has_, as well as his neighbours, that lives a great way off, quite on the other side of the country. And not a year, at least not a year and a half ago, I remember Kate Robinson dancing on the green at Squire Burton's there with the rest of the girls of the village, and without compare the prettiest and freshest, and most blithsome and innocent of them all. Ay, she was innocent then, none ever more so, and she had no care, but all looking kind upon her in this world, and fond parents taking pride in her--and now look at her what she is! Cast off by all, shamed, and forgotten, and broken-hearted, and lost as much as if she was in her grave. And better she was in her grave than as she is."

The old woman now really felt so much that she stopped speaking, and she was silent for several minutes.

"Ah! dear ladies," said she, looking up at Rosamond and Caroline, "I see you have kind hearts within you, and I thank you for pitying poor Kate."

"I wish we could do any thing to serve her," said Caroline.

"Ah! miss, that I am afraid you can't--that's what I am afraid none can now." The good woman paused and looked as if she expected to be questioned. Caroline was silent, and the old woman looked disappointed.

"We do not like to question you," said Rosamond, "lest we should ask what you might not like to answer, or what the young woman would be sorry that you should answer."

"Why, miss, that's very considerate in you, and only that I know it would be for her benefit, I am sure I would not have said a word--but here I have so very little to give her, and that little so coa.r.s.e fare to what she been used to, both when she was at service, and when she was with her own people, that I be afraid, weak as she be grown now, she won't do. And though I have been a good nurse in my day, I think she wants now a bit better doctor than I be--and then if she could see the minister, to take the weight off her heart, to make her not fret so, to bid her look up above for comfort, and to raise her with the hope and trust that G.o.d will have more mercy upon her than her father and mother do have; and to make her--hardest of all!--forget him that has forsaken her and her little one, and been so cruel--Oh! ladies, to do all that, needs a person that can speak to her better and with more authority than I can."

The poor woman stopped again for some minutes, and then recollecting that she had not told what she had intended to tell, she said, "I suppose, ladies, you guess now how it be, and I ought to beg pardon for speaking of such a thing, or such a one, as--as poor Kate is now, to you, young ladies; but though she is fallen so low, and an outcast, she is not hardened; and if it had been so that it had pleased Heaven that she had been a wife to one in her own condition--Oh! what a wife, and what a mother there was lost in her! The man that wronged her has a deal to answer for. But he has no thought of that, nor care for her, or his child; but he is a fine man about London, they say, driving about with colonels, and lords, and dancing with ladies. Oh! if they saw Kate, one would guess they would not think so much of him: but yet, may be, they'd think more--there's no saying how the quality ladies judge on these matters. But this I know, that though he was very free of his money, and generous to Kate at the first, and even for some months after he quit the country, till I suppose he forgot her, yet he has not sent her a guinea for self or child these four months, nor a line of a letter of any kind, which she pined for more, and we kept thinking the letters she did write did not get to him by the post, so we sent one by a grandson of my own, that we knowed would put the letter safe into his hands, and did, just as the young gentleman was, as my grandson told me, coming out of a fine house in London, and going, with a long whip in his hand, to get upon the coach-box of a coach, with four horses too--and he looks at the letter, and puts it in his pocket, and calls to my boy, 'No answer now, my good friend--but I'll write by post to her.' Those were the very words; and then that colonel that was with him laughing and making game like, went to s.n.a.t.c.h the letter out of the pocket, saying, 'Show us that love-letter, Buckhurst'--Lord forgive me! what have I done now?" said the old woman, stopping short, struck by the sudden change in the countenance of both her auditors.

"Mr. Buckhurst Falconer is a relation of ours," said Rosamond.

"Dear ladies, how could I think you knew him even?" interrupted the old woman. "I beg your pardon. Kate says he's not so cruel as he seems, and that if he were here this minute, he'd be as kind and generous to her as ever.--It's all forgetfulness just, and giddiness, she says--or, may be, as to the money, that he has it not to spare."

"To spare!" repeated Caroline, indignantly.

"Lord love her! what a colour she has now--and what a spirit spoke there! But, ladies, I'd be sorry to hurt the young gentleman; for Kate would be angry at me for that worse than at any thing. And as to all that has happened, you know it's nothing extraordinary, but what happens every day, by all accounts; and young gentlemen, such as he be, thinks nothing of it; and the great ladies, I know, by what I noticed when I was in sarvice once in Lon'on myself, the great ladies thinks the better of them for such things."

"I am not a great lady," said Caroline.

"Nor I, thank G.o.d!" said Rosamond.

"Well, for certain, if you are not great, you're good ladies," said the old woman.

As they were now within sight of their own house, they thanked and dismissed their loquacious but kind-hearted guide, putting into her hand some money for poor Kate, Caroline promising to make further inquiries--Rosamond, without restriction, promising all manner of a.s.sistance, pecuniary, medical, and spiritual.

The result of the inquiries that were made confirmed the truth of all that old Dorothy had related, and brought to light other circ.u.mstances relative to the seduction and desertion of this poor girl, which so shocked Rosamond, that in proportion to her former prepossession in Buckhurst's favour was now her abhorrence; and as if to repair the imprudence with which she had formerly used her influence over her sister's mind in his favour, she now went as far on the opposite side, abjuring him with the strongest expressions of indignation, and wis.h.i.+ng that Caroline's last letter had not gone to Buckhurst, that she might have given her refusal on this special account, in the most severe and indignant terms the English language could supply.

Mrs. Percy, however, on the contrary, rejoiced that Caroline's letter had been sent before they knew any thing of this affair.

"But, ma'am," cried Rosamond, "surely it would have been right for Caroline to have given this reason for her refusal, and to have declared that this had proved to her beyond a possibility of doubt that her former objections to Mr. Buckhurst Falconer's principles were too well founded; and it would have become Caroline to have written with strong indignation. I am persuaded," continued Rosamond, "that if women would reprobate young men for such instances of profligacy and cruelty, instead of suffering such conduct to go under the fine plausible general names of gallantry and _wildness_, it would make a greater impression than all the sermons that could be preached. And Caroline, who has beauty and eloquence, _can_ do this with effect. I remember G.o.dfrey once said, that the peculiar characteristic of Caroline, that in which she differed most from the common herd of young ladies, is in her power of feeling and expressing virtuous indignation. I am sure that G.o.dfrey, partial as he is to Mr. Buckhurst Falconer, would think that Caroline ought, on such an occasion, to set an example of that proper spirit, which, superior to the fear of ridicule and fas.h.i.+on, dares to speak the indignation it feels."

"Very well spoken, and better felt, my dear daughter," said Mrs. Percy.

"And Heaven forbid I should lower the tone of your mind, or your honest indignation against vice; but, Rosamond, my dear, let us be just.--I must do even those, whom G.o.dfrey calls the common herd of young ladies, the justice to believe that there are many among them who have good feeling enough to be angry, very angry, with a lover upon _such an occasion_--angry enough to write him a most indignant, and, perhaps, very eloquent letter.--You may recollect more than one heroine of a novel, who discards her lover upon such a discovery as was made by you last night. It is a common novel incident, and, of course, from novels every young lady, even, who might not have _felt_ without a precedent, knows how she ought to express herself in such circ.u.mstances. But you will observe, my dear, that both in novels and in real life, young ladies generally like and encourage men of feeling in contradistinction to men of principle, and too often men of gallantry in preference to men of correct morals: in short, that such a character as that of Mr.

Buckhurst Falconer is just the kind of person with whom many women would fall in love. By suffering this to be thought the taste of our s.e.x, ladies encourage libertinism in general, more than they can possibly discourage it by the loudest display of indignation against particular instances.--If, like your sister Caroline, young ladies would show that they really do not prefer such men, it would do essential service. And observe, my dear Rosamond, this can be done by every young woman with perfect delicacy: but I do not see how she can, with propriety or good effect, do more. It is a subject ladies cannot well discuss; a subject upon which the manners and customs of the world are so much at variance with religion and morality, that entering upon the discussion would lead to greater difficulties than you are aware of. It is, therefore, best for our s.e.x to show their disapprobation of vice, and to prove their sense of virtue and religion by their conduct, rather than to proclaim it to the world in words. Had Caroline in her letter expressed her indignation in the most severe terms that the English language could supply, she would only have exposed herself to the ridicule of Mr.

Buckhurst Falconer's fas.h.i.+onable companions, as a prating, preaching prude, without doing the least good to him, or to any one living."

Rosamond reluctantly acknowledged that perhaps her mother was right.

"But, Caroline, how quietly you sit by, while we are talking of you and your lover!" cried Rosamond; "I do not know whether to be provoked with you, or to admire you."

"Admire me, pray," said Caroline, "if you can."

"I do not believe you will ever be in love," said Rosamond. "I confess I should admire, or, at least, love you better, if you had more feeling,"

added Rosamond, hastily.

"By what do you judge that I want feeling?" said Caroline, colouring deeply, and with a look and tone that expressed her keen sense of injustice. "What proof have I ever given you of my want of feeling?"

"No proof, that I can recollect," said Rosamond, laughing; "no proof, but that you have never been in love."

"Is it a proof I am incapable of feeling, that I have not been in love with one who has proved himself utterly unworthy of my esteem--against whose conduct my sister cannot find words sufficiently severe to express her indignation? Rosamond, my mind inclined towards him at the first reading of his last letter; but if I had ever given him any encouragement, if I had loved him, what would have been my misery at this moment!"

"All! my dear, but then if you had been very miserable, I should have pitied you so much, and loved you so heartily for being in love," said Rosamond, still laughing--

"Oh! Rosamond," continued Caroline, whose mind was now too highly wrought for raillery, "is love to be trifled with? No, only by trifling minds or by rash characters, by those who do not conceive its power--its danger. Recollect what we have just seen: a young, beautiful woman sinking into the grave with shame--deserted by her parents--wis.h.i.+ng her child unborn. Do you remember her look of agony when we praised that child? the strongest charm of nature reversed--the strongest ties dissolved; and love brought her to this! She is only a poor servant girl. But the highest and the fairest, those of the most cultivated understandings, of the tenderest hearts, cannot love bring them down to the same level--to the same fate?--And not only our weak s.e.x, but over the stronger s.e.x, and the strongest of the strong, and the wisest of the wise, what is, what has ever been the power, the delusions of that pa.s.sion, which can cast a spell over the greatest hero, throw a blot on the brightest glory, blast in a moment a life of fame!--What must be the power of that pa.s.sion, which can inspire genius in the dullest and the coldest, waken heroism in the most timid of creatures, exalt to the highest point, or to the lowest degrade our nature--the bitterest curse, or the sweetest blessing Heaven bestows on us in this life!--Oh! sister, is love to be trifled with?"

Caroline paused, and Rosamond, for some instants, looked at her and at her mother in silence; then exclaimed, "All this from Caroline! Are not you astonished, mother?"

"No," said Mrs. Percy; "I was aware that this was in Caroline's mind."

"I was not," said Rosamond. "She who never spoke of love!--I little imagined that she thought of it so highly, so seriously."

"Yes, I do think of it seriously, highly may Heaven grant!" cried Caroline, looking fervently upwards as she spoke with an illuminated countenance. "May Heaven grant that love be a blessing and not a curse to me! Heaven grant that I may never, in any moment of selfish vanity, try to excite a pa.s.sion which I cannot return! Heaven grant that I never may feel the pa.s.sion of love but for one whom I shall entirely esteem, who shall be worthy to fill my whole soul!"

"Mother," continued Caroline, turning eagerly, and seizing her mother's hand, "my guide, my guardian, whenever you see me in any, the slightest inclination to coquetry, warn me--as you wish to save me from that which I should most dread, the reproaches of my own conscience--in the first, the very first instance, reprove me, mother, if you can--with severity.

And you, my sister, my bosom friend, do not use your influence to soften, to open my mind to love; but if ever you perceive me yielding my heart to the first tenderness of the pa.s.sion, watch over me, if the object be not every way worthy of me, my equal, my superior.--Oh! as you would wish to s.n.a.t.c.h me from the grave, rouse me from the delusion--save me from disappointment, regret, remorse, which I know that I could not bear, and live."