Tales and Novels Volume VIII Part 20

_Mr. Carv._ She has too much sense: the father will settle that, and I'll settle the father. [_Mr. CARVER going._

_O'Bla._ (_following, aside_) And who has settled you?

_Mr. Carv._ Don't stir--don't stir--men of business must be nailed to a spot--and I'm not ceremonious. [_Exit Mr. CARVER._

_O'Bla._ Pinned him by all that's cliver! [_Exit O'BLANEY._

SCENE III.

_Mrs. CARVER'S Dressing-room._

_Mrs. CARVER sitting at work.--BLOOMSBURY standing._

_Bloom._ Certainly, ma'am, what I always said was, that for the commonalty, there's no getting out of an Irish cabin a girl fit to be about a lady such as you, Mrs. Carver, in the shape of a waiting-maid or waiting-maid's a.s.sistant, on account they smell so of smoke, which is very distressing; but this Honor McBride seems a bettermost sort of girl, ma'am; if you can make up your mind to her _vice_.

_Mrs. Carv._ Vice?

_Bloom._ That is, vicious p.r.o.nounciations in regard to their Irish brogues.

_Mrs. Carv._ Is that all?--I am quite accustomed to _the accent_.

_Bloom._ Then, ma'am, I declare now, I've been forced to stuff my _hears_ with cotton wool hever since I comed to Ireland. But this here Honor McBride has a mighty pretty _vice_, if you don't take exceptions to a little nationality; nor she if not so smoke-dried: she's really a nice, tidy-looking like girl considering. I've taken tea with the family often, and they live quite snug for Hirish. I'll a.s.sure you, ma'am, quite bettermost people for Hibernians, as you always said, ma'am.

_Mrs. Carv._ I have a regard for old Matthew, though he is something of a miser, I fear.

_Bloom._ So, ma'am, shall I call the girl up, that we may see and talk to her? I think, ma'am, you'll find she will do; and I reckon to keep her under my own eye and advice from morning till night: for when I seed the girl so willing to larn, I quite took a fancy to her, I own--as it were.

_Mrs. Carv._ Well, Bloomsbury, let me see this Honor McBride.

_Bloom._ (_calling_) One of you there! please call up Honor McBride.

_Mrs. Carv._ She has been waiting a great while, I fear; I don't like to keep people waiting.

_Bloom._ (_watching for HONOR as she speaks_) Dear heart, ma'am, in this here country, people does love waiting for waiting's sake, that's sure--they got nothing else to do. Here, Honor--walk in, Honor,--rub your shoes always.

_Enter HONOR, timidly._

_Mrs. Carv._ (_in an encouraging voice_) Come in, my good girl.

_Bloom._ Oh! child, the door: the peoples never shut a door in, Ireland!

Did not I warn you?--says I, "Come when you're called--do as you're bid--shut the door after you, and you'll never be chid." Now what did I tell you, child?

_Honor._ To shut the door after me when I'd come into a room.

_Bloom._ _When I'd come_--now that's not dic'snary English.

_Mrs. Carv._ Good Bloomsbury, let that pa.s.s for the present--come a little nearer to me, my good girl.

_Honor._ Yes, ma'am.

_Bloom._ Take care of that china pyramint with your cloak--walk on to Mrs. Carver--no need to be afraid--I'll stand your friend.

_Mrs. Carv._ I should have thought, Honor McBride, you were in too comfortable a way at home, to think of going into service.

_Honor._ (_sighs_) No better father, nor brother, _nor_ (than) I have, ma'am, I thank your ladys.h.i.+p; but some things come across.

_Mrs. Carv._ (_aside_) Oh! it is a blus.h.i.+ng case, I see: I must talk to her alone, by-and-by. (_Aloud_) I don't mean, my good girl, to pry into your family affairs.

_Honor._ Oh! ma'am, you're too good. (_Aside_) The kind-hearted Lady, how I love her already! (_She wipes the tears from her eyes._)

_Bloom._ Take care of the bow-pot at your elbow, child; for if you break the necks of them moss roses--

_Honor._ I ax their pardon.

_Mrs. Carv._ Better take the flower-pot out of her way, Bloomsbury.

_Bloom._ (_moving the flower-pot_) There, now: but, Honor, keep your eyes on my lady, never turn your head, and keep your hands always afore you, as I show you. Ma'am, she'll larn manners in time--Lon'on was not built in a day. It i'n't to be expected of she!

_Mrs. Carv._ It is not to be expected indeed that she should learn every thing at once; so one thing at a time, good Bloomsbury, and one person at a time. Leave Honor to me for the present.

_Bloom._ Certainly, ma'am; I beg pardon--I was only saying--

_Mrs. Carv._ Since it is, it seems, necessary, my good girl, that you should leave home, I am glad that you are not too proud to go into service.

_Honor._ Oh! into _your_ service, ma'am,--I'd be too proud if you'd be kind enough to accept me.

_Mrs. Carv._ Then as to wages, what do you expect?

_Honor._ Any thing at all you please, ma'am.

_Bloom._ (_pressing down her shoulder_) And where's your curtsy? We shall bring these Irish knees into training by and by, I hopes.

_Honor._ I'm awk'ard and strange, ma'am--I never was from home afore.

_Mrs. Carv._ Poor girl--we shall agree very well, I hope.

_Honor._ Oh yes, any thing at all, ma'am; I'm not greedy--nor needy, thanks above! but it's what I'd wish to be under your protection if it was plasing, and I'll do my very best, madam. (_Curtsies._)

_Mrs. Carv._ n.o.body can expect more, and I hope and trust you'll find mine an easy place--Bloomsbury, you will tell her, what will be required of her. (_Mrs. Carver looks at her watch._) At twelve o'clock I shall be returned from my walk, and then, Honor, you will come into my cabinet here; I want to say a few words to you. [_Exeunt omnes._

SCENE IV.