The Half Life Of Stars Part 32

'For what?'

'Private detectives. If we don't find him this time, we'll have to bring in the professionals. You've done...well, you've done the best you can. But these people have experience and Daniel...he clearly needs help.'

I hate the way she says this. It's almost like she thinks of Daniel as a mental patient, like she can't wait to have him committed. Julian cries out again. Or maybe Kay?

'Kay, are you all right?'

It's her, broken down into sobs.

'f.u.c.k him,' she says. 'Really. f.u.c.k f.u.c.k him.' him.'

I expect that she's talking about Daniel.

'You know something?' she says. 'When she called...when your mother phoned to tell me he was safe...I didn't even know what to say. I should have been happy, that's what she kept saying to me: Kay you must be so so happy. I wasn't. I was angry, f.u.c.king angry. I wanted to get hold of him and...and slap him.' happy. I wasn't. I was angry, f.u.c.king angry. I wanted to get hold of him and...and slap him.'

She gasps from letting it out.

'He could have said something something. He could have told me something something...I'm his wife wife. I'm his...wife.'

She says this last part softly, quizzically, like she no longer knows what it means.

'Did he ever talk to you about-'

'The Columbia going down? No, no no, he barely mentioned it.'

'He didn't seem altered or changed?

'Who knows...I don't know. There was too much...there were other things going on that day.'

Should I ask her what she means? Is it right for me to ask her what she means?

'What else? What other things?'

She pauses so long I think she must have put the phone down, then weakly, wearily, she says it.

'He was seeing someone else. Sleeping with, I mean.'

'You knew about that?'

'Did you you?'

The words just came out, I couldn't stop them. They spilt right out of my mouth.

'Kay, I'm so so sorry...we just...we thought it better not to-' sorry...we just...we thought it better not to-'

'We? The whole The whole family family knew?' knew?'

'We didn't know whether to tell you or not. I found out by accident, when I took the pill packets-'

'You took them? Jesus, Claire. Why?' took them? Jesus, Claire. Why?'

'They'd all been taken. Did you know they'd all been taken?'

'Of course course I knew,' she says, with some venom. 'I was the one that took them. That's what he'd done to me. I knew,' she says, with some venom. 'I was the one that took them. That's what he'd done to me. That's That's what he'd driven me to.' what he'd driven me to.'

My mouth is dry like cotton: last night's dope, too little sleep and Michael looking up at me from the sofa, wondering why I'm being so off with him.

'Kay, I don't...I don't get it.'

'They were my my pills, pills, my my prescription. My antidepressants, for prescription. My antidepressants, for me me. I kept and resealed every packet. It made me feel like I hadn't really used them. Why does no one ask about me me?'

'Kay, none of us-'

'I didn't want to ask for them, I didn't want it left on my medical record. Daniel didn't care, he got them for me. Are you surprised?'

I don't answer.

'He would have done anything, he felt so guilty. Poor Daniel, he felt so bad bad about it all. You should have seen how he was, Claire, how s.h.i.+fty and secretive he was. He used to go out into the garden to use his mobile phone, he said it never had a decent signal in the house. I had a baby, I'd about it all. You should have seen how he was, Claire, how s.h.i.+fty and secretive he was. He used to go out into the garden to use his mobile phone, he said it never had a decent signal in the house. I had a baby, I'd just just had a baby. He was f.u.c.king her while I was pregnant with his son.' had a baby. He was f.u.c.king her while I was pregnant with his son.'

I hold my breath.

'And I I had to phone her. had to phone her. I I had to speak to her. had to speak to her. I I was the one who called her up when he went missing.' was the one who called her up when he went missing.'

'Why couldn't...why didn't you say?'

'It was over...she swore it was over. She didn't know a thing, hadn't spoken to him for months...and I was just...but I felt so ashamed.'

She sighs, I hear her sit down.

'Who was...was it someone he worked with?'

She almost laughs.

'No, not quite.'

'Her name's Annie, isn't it? That's all I know.'

'What are you talking about? No, her name isn't Annie Annie.'

She's frustrated with me now, getting cross.

'Chloe, it's Chloe Chloe. So there, now you know. Your perfect brother was f.u.c.king his partner's wife.'

'I told told you so.' you so.'

'No, Michael. You didn't. You said they were having orgies that's not the same.'

'I said they were swingers, close enough.'

'What does she look like?'

'Huey?'

'Hey, I'm only asking? Don't take it out on me.'

'Did you think he had it in him?' says Tess, pouring me a drink. 'Did you think he was capable of pulling off a stunt like this? I mean, three women at onceKay, Annie, now Chloe. If you ask me I'd have to say-'

'Tess, she didn't ask ask you.' you.'

'Shut up, Huey. I was only going to say...that's some some going.' going.'

Your Huey Is Out There Somewhere.

'You don't want to buy my hair from me, no more?'

'No, sorry.'

'But I cut it all off. Look Look, it's right here in this bag. It took me hours, the razor was blunt.'

'You shouldn't have used a razor, man; chances are you damaged the hair follicle.'

'So, what are you saying? That you'd have bought it from me if I'd cut it off with scissors?'

'No. Uh-uh. I wouldn't even have bought it from you then, I don't need it any more.'

'Oh, I get it. You decided to go for plugs. Me and my big mouthwhy did I even suggest it?'

'No, man, I'm not getting plugs. I've just decided, you know, that it's time I came to terms with my hair loss. It's a big step for me, so I'd appreciate it if you'd be a little more supportive.'

'So, you don't want what I've got in this bag, here?'

'No, I don't need it.'

'You're not going to give me a thousand dollars?'

'No. Uh-uh.'

'What about five hundred? I'll do you a deal for five hundred.'

'Sorry, old man. No can do.'

'Two hundred?'

'Nope.'

'One hundred.' hundred.'

'No.'

'Come on. Name your price, name your price price. Think of the wig you could knit out of this stuff. Have a heart, kid, think about how long it took me.'

Huey knows when he's beaten. He goes into the liquor store and buys the b.u.m a litre bottle of Thunderbird. Afterwards, he pops next door to the organic grocery and buys him a sandwich of grilled vegetables and purple sprouting broccoli.

'That's it it? That's all I get? Some cheap wine and some purple sprouting broccoli? It's not even on pumpernickel toast. I like to have my sandwiches made on pumpernickel.'

'Hey man, be grateful. That's all they had.'

The b.u.m can't decide what to do. His hair is pilled up in a brown paper bag, scrunched up tight in his filthy hand. His scalp has bald patches from where he went too close with the razor; he looks like he's suffering from mange.

'Ah...f.u.c.k it then, give me the sandwich. But if that's how it's gonna be, I'll need some wheat gra.s.s juice to wash it down with. I heard it's good for the immune system.' it then, give me the sandwich. But if that's how it's gonna be, I'll need some wheat gra.s.s juice to wash it down with. I heard it's good for the immune system.'

'No, man. It isn't. It just makes your farts reek.'

'Look at me, my farts already reek reek.'

'OK, man. Fair point.'

Huey heads back to the organic deli for a double shot of wheatgra.s.s juice and offers it up to the b.u.m. Belatedly, forlornly, the b.u.m takes the paper cone (recycled) and hands over his prize.

'You got anything else for me, a smoke or two, maybe?'

'Smoking's no good for you, you really ought to stop. Here, wait, take some of these.'

Huey reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thick wad of coupons.

'I think I've got some money off Nicorette here somewhere.'

'Really? I could sure use some of those patches.'

'Nope. They must be back upstairs.'

The b.u.m looks disappointed.

'Hey, what the h.e.l.l though, take 'em. Why don't you take the whole lot.'

The b.u.m fills his pockets with Huey's coupons and when every spare recess is stuffed to the brim he pulls out a handful and flicks through them.

'Great, that's just great. Hot wax, douche and extra absorbency tamponsmy life just gets better and better.'

Tess is beginning to look uneasy. She doesn't like the way this day is going; this isn't how she'd planned it, not one bit.

'You'd better be throwing that bag away, Huey.'

'No, Tess, I'm not. I'm going to keep it.'