The Clouds Part 9

[Exit Strepsiades and enter Just Cause and Unjust Cause]

Just Cause. Come hither! Show yourself to the spectators, although being audacious.

Unjust Cause. Go whither you please; for I shall far rather do for you, if I speak before a crowd.

Just. You destroy me? Who are you?

Unj. A cause.

Just. Ay, the worse.

Unj. But I conquer you, who say that you are better than I.

Just. By doing what clever trick?

Unj. By discovering new contrivances.

Just. For these innovations flourish by the favour of these silly persons.

Unj. No; but wise persons.

Just I will destroy you miserably.

Unj. Tell me, by doing what?

Just By speaking what is just.

Unj. But I will overturn them by contradicting them; for I deny that justice even exists at all.

Just Do you deny that it exists?

Unj. For come, where is it?

Just With the G.o.ds.

Unj. How, then, if justice exists, has Jupiter not perished, who bound his own father?

Just Bah! This profanity now is spreading! Give me a basin.

Unj. You are a dotard and absurd.

Just You are debauched and shameless.

Unj. You have spoken roses of me.

Just And a dirty lickspittle.

Unj. You crown me with lilies.

Just And a parricide.

Unj. You don't know that you are sprinkling me with gold.

Just Certainly not so formerly, but with lead.

Unj. But now this is an ornament to me.

Just You are very impudent.

Unj. And you are antiquated.

Just And through you, no one of our youths is willing to go to school; and you will be found out some time or other by the Athenians, what sort of doctrines you teach the simple-minded.

Unj. You are shamefully squalid.

Just And you are prosperous. And yet formerly you were a beggar saying that you were the Mysian Telephus, and gnawing the maxims of Pandeletus out of your little wallet.

Unj. Oh, the wisdom--

Just Oh, the madness--

Unj. Which you have mentioned.

Just And of your city, which supports you who ruin her youths.

Unj. You shan't teach this youth, you old dotard.

Just Yes, if he is to be saved, and not merely to practise loquacity.

Unj. (to Phidippides) Come hither, and leave him to rave.

Just You shall howl, if you lay your hand on him.

Cho. Cease from contention and railing. But show to us, you, what you used to teach the men of former times, and you, the new system of education; in order that, having heard you disputing, he may decide and go to the school of one or the other.

Just. I am willing to do so.

Unj. I also am willing.

Cho. Come now, which of the two shall speak first?

Unj. I will give him the precedence; and then, from these things which he adduces, I will shoot him dead with new words and thoughts. And at last, if he mutter, he shall be destroyed, being stung in his whole face and his two eyes by my maxims, as if by bees.

Cho. Now the two, relying on very dexterous arguments and thoughts, and sententious maxims, will show which of them shall appear superior in argument. For now the whole crisis of wisdom is here laid before them; about which my friends have a very great contest. But do you, who adorned our elders with many virtuous manners, utter the voice in which you rejoice, and declare your nature.

Just. I will, therefore, describe the ancient system of education, how it was ordered, when I flourished in the advocacy of justice, and temperance was the fas.h.i.+on. In the first place it was inc.u.mbent that no one should hear the voice of a boy uttering a syllable; and next, that those from the same quarter of the town should march in good order through the streets to the school of the harp-master, naked, and in a body, even if it were to snow as thick as meal. Then again, their master would teach them, not sitting cross-legged, to learn by rote a song, either "pallada persepolin deinan" or "teleporon ti boama" raising to a higher pitch the harmony which our fathers transmitted to us. But if any of them were to play the buffoon, or to turn any quavers, like these difficult turns the present artists make after the manner of Phrynis, he used to be thrashed, being beaten with many blows, as banis.h.i.+ng the Muses. And it behooved the boys, while sitting in the school of the Gymnastic-master, to cover the thigh, so that they might exhibit nothing indecent to those outside; then again, after rising from the ground, to sweep the sand together, and to take care not to leave an impression of the person for their lovers. And no boy used in those days to anoint himself below the navel; so that their bodies wore the appearance of blooming health. Nor used he to go to his lover, having made up his voice in an effeminate tone, prost.i.tuting himself with his eyes. Nor used it to be allowed when one was dining to take the head of the radish, or to s.n.a.t.c.h from their seniors dill or parsley, or to eat fish, or to giggle, or to keep the legs crossed.

Unj. Aye, antiquated and dipolia-like and full of gra.s.shoppers, and of Cecydes, and of the Buphonian festival!