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My eyes slowly moved back.
Carl was smiling at me.
"h.e.l.lo, Millie," he said in a mockingly sweet voice.
Carl walked up to us, hands resting lightly on his utility belt. His eyes trailed over to Reed, taking him in with a smirk. I could hear Reed suck in an angry breath. He knew. He knew this was the guard. There was no way he could doubt it.
Carl chuckled, then suddenly raised his gun and smacked the b.u.t.t hard on Reed's head. A small groan escaped Reed's throat before he toppled down to the paved road.
"No!" I screamed. I fought against the cuffs, but they were holding my arms too tightly behind my back. "No, no, no!"
"Come on, Millie," Carl said, his fingers locking down on my tensed arm. "Let's go catch up."
22.
The shadows of the alley loomed ahead.
Carl dragged me toward the alley where his white patrol car waited, my feet constantly stumbling and tripping beneath me. As we pa.s.sed Eddie, my nose filled with the coppery smell of his blood. It stung my senses, bringing tears to my eyes. I watched him, hoping to see his fingers twitch or eyelids flutter. He didn't move.
The world had gone quiet. There was no laughter. No happy sighs. No soft voices. All that echoed now was the crunch of our feet on the littered street, Carl's lofty breath, my grunt as he shoved me into the car and slammed the door shut. Most patrol cars had some sort of barrier between the officers and the criminals. Carl's didn't. As he climbed into the driver seat, he reached back and patted my leg, smirking at me before revving the engine and backing out of the alley into the sun.
I felt my head try to turn to look behind us. I knew Eddie lay there, motionless and gone. That just beyond him, motionless in a crumpled mess on the ground, lay Reed. I couldn't turn my head to look. I couldn't bear the thought that he too wouldn't be moving, that he too may be gone to a place I couldn't free him. All I could do was stare ahead.
"Oh Millie, what trouble you have caused," Carl said, his voice casual and teasing. "There I was, keeping my eye on you as you picked those stupid apples and bought pretty new clothes, then suddenly you decide it wasn't good enough for you. You just had to try and leave. You really don't like to follow orders, do you."
It didn't sound like a question. His voice had turned hard and cold, the laughter slowly bleeding away. I didn't answer. Squirming in my seat, I tried to ease the pain in my shoulders from the cuffs that held my wrists tight behind me.
"If it wasn't for those inmates sticking up for you, and that stupid young night guard, you would be back where you belong and I would have my way. But no," Carl spat toward the empty pa.s.senger seat. "No, I was the one over-reacting. I was the one who 'needed a break.' Even that Dr. Eriks stopped helping me. She thinks I have lost it." An angry laugh rumbled from his lips, his shoulders barely shaking. "And there you are, picking apples and falling for the first dirt born brat you run across. It is disgusting."
The car rolled slowly down the old road, pa.s.sing each boarded up building and hanging street sign without pausing. Carl stared straight ahead, his shoulders stiff. I could see his face in the small rearview mirror, his eyes intense as they stared at the road ahead of us.
"I get what I want," he continued, his voice growing more intense. "You can't run away in the night and expect that to change. I have my plans, Millie, and you will not mess them up. That piece of c.r.a.p lying in the road back there sure as h.e.l.l won't mess them up." Carl finally glanced into the mirror, his eyes locking onto mine. "If only you knew what I have planned for him. Life in prison isn't good enough. No, I have great plans for your little love back there, Millie."
I didn't think. I didn't pause or question what I was doing. I lunged forward. My body flew over the seat, my shoulder slamming into Carl with all of my weight. Carl yelled out, his hands suddenly cranking the wheel to the right.
The car veered roughly. Our bodies slammed into each other again, my shoulder flaring in pain as it hit the front dash. I could hear the crash before I felt it. The unmistakable crunch of metal as it bent in, meeting with the concrete wall of the old building in front of us, followed by the slow hiss of leaking air.
The impact threw me back, my body slamming roughly into the worn seat. All of the air knocked out of me, leaving me to gasp in ragged breaths. I could hear the crunch as Carl's body slammed into the door. Chancing a look over, I saw his shoulder pushed up against the door at a bad angle, his head bleeding where it had hit the gla.s.s. Carl blinked, the blood dripping into his dazed eyes.
I turned my back to the door and anxiously felt for the metal handle. My fingers groped along the plastic, desperation building inside as I watched Carl blink harder. Finally my fingers slid along the handle's cool surface. I pulled. The door swung open and my body toppled out, landing painfully on the ground.
Struggling to my feet, I blinked the dirt out of my eyes and tried to get my bearings. My whole body ached. Nothing felt broken, but I could feel the pain of deep bruises along my arm and back. I finally cleared my vision and took a shaky step forward.
A hand clamped down on my bruised arm. I cried out in pain, my knees buckling underneath me as Carl dragged me backwards across the road. I tried to dig my heels into the ground to slow him. It didn't help.
Carl pulled me up a few cement steps. He stopped long enough to kick in an old wooden door, then pushed me inside and slammed the broken door behind us. My eyes took a moment to adjust in the now dim light. The windows were all carefully boarded over, only letting thin streams of the sunlight to filter in.
To my left was a desk, its surface covered in dust and cracks. Behind it leaned a row of old metal filing cabinets. Everything was covered in the same thick dust. My eyes scanned the rest of the room, coming to a rest on the only remaining wall.
The opposite wall was lined with bars.
Carl turned a key in my handcuffs. They fell to the ground, clanging loudly. Without saying anything, he shoved me into the nearest open cell. I stumbled forward, barely catching myself as I fell to the ground. As I turned, I saw him wipe a stream of blood from his face, the open gash on his forehead still dripping. His chest heaved with angry gasps.
"Amazing little building, don't you think?" Carl hissed, standing in the small opening of the cell. "Once the Nation rose, they put these all over the place. Holding houses they called them. There was no need for small jails anymore. All those criminals were going to the same place." Carl ran a finger down the rusted bars. "All they needed were these holding houses, until prison transport could come and whisk away the evil doers."
I scooted myself back against the cold wall. An image of Maria, battered and almost naked as she huddled in the corner, flashed through my mind. I drew my knees up to my chest.
"Don't worry, Millie," Carl said. "I'm not going to hurt you." A thin smile spread on his face. He straightened his back, wincing in pain as he tried to roll his injured shoulder back. His arm hanged limply at his side, fingers barely moving.
"How did you find me?" I managed to ask.
Carl's smile widened. "I never lost you." He leaned on the bars, his arms crossing loosely over his armored chest. "You didn't think that that bracelet was just for looks, did you?"
I glanced down at the metal bracelet that hung loosely from my wrist. Carl pulled the small device from his belt, the same one all of the guards carried, and casually tossed it from hand to hand. "This is called an ELIS. Electronic Location and Ident.i.ty Scanner. Your pretty little bracelet there has a chip in it with all of your information on it. This," he said, tapping the ELIS, "not only knows exactly who you are, but can find you too. You should have listened to your boyfriend when he said he didn't like it."
I felt like an idiot. I should have known there was more to this bracelet than my name scratched into its surface. All those years of it being scanned daily, and it had never registered in my mind.
I had given us away. We had been stopped because of me. Eddie had died, because of me. Reed... I shut my eyes tight, trying to breath.
Carl hit a b.u.t.ton on the ELIS. A small orange light started to blink. "This will notify my back up. They will be here soon, to gather the criminal and his dead accomplice outside, and escort them to their sentences." He let out a low growl. "I cannot wait to be at that hearing."
Carl tucked the ELIS back into his belt.
"Now, Millie, we need to talk." He crossed his arms loosely across his chest, wincing again in pain. "I gave you some advice, and you didn't listen, did you."
I shook my head.
"Do you think that made me happy?" he asked.
I shook my head again.
"I like you, Millie. I like your spirit. Your brains. Your..." His eyes scanned me a moment. "I like your looks. And I have told you before: I get what I want."
Carl moved closer. "I like Prison Babies. The best citizens are those born afraid. And boy, are those babies afraid. They will do anything to be the good and the strong. Anything." He took another step. I could smell his sweat, tinged with hot blood. "So tell me, my little Jail Baby, are you scared?"
I clenched my eyes shut again, my body aching. I could feel his breath near me. The heat of his body was oppressing as it burned too close. I tried to scoot away, but the wall held me where I crouched. Carl chuckled in my ear.
"I believe in this Nation," he whispered. "I like this Nation. It gives the good what they deserve. And the sc.u.m what they have coming to them. Sc.u.m like your parents, Millie. And that stupid, stupid guard who tried to help you escape."
My eyes flicked open. Carl had knelt right next to me, his face only a few inches away from mine. I could smell the sweat on his skin.
"Oh, don't worry," he said, the smile spreading once again on his face. "He won't have any trouble from me. He's not worth my time. I know he gave you something. What was it?" I clenched my jaw, refusing to answer. Carl chuckled, his voice low and too close. "Doesn't matter. I will figure it out."
"What do you want?" I asked.
"What do I want?" Carl sat back in mock shock, his hand rising to cup my cheek. "I have already told you Millie. I want you."
"Why?" My voice shook, despite my effort to keep it even.
"Think of it as... an obsession. I just can't keep my eyes off of you." He leaned close again, barely brus.h.i.+ng his lips against my cheek. "Just like my uncles and father just couldn't keep their eyes off your mother. So, so long ago."
"My..." The realization struck me, churning my stomach and freezing my breath.
Carl nodded slowly, his hand tightening around my cheek. Fire lit dangerously behind his blue eyes. "Your crazy mother killed my father. She killed him! And now she plays the part of the poor, insane criminal who was only defending herself. And your father..." Carl sighed, patting my cheek. "When I found out they were in Spokane, I had to transfer there. I had to find the sc.u.m that had killed my family. Little did I expect you."
Carl tightened his hand down around my chin. A gasp of pain escaped my lips. With a grunt, he lifted me up and slammed me against the bars of the small cell. Pain shot up my back as the bars dug into me. His hand tightly held my chin, keeping me standing on my toes.
"It is all so perfect," he hissed out. "Your stupid parents take away my family. And now, now I get to have theirs." Carl pushed close, his lips almost brus.h.i.+ng my cheek again. "It helps that you are already such a catch as it is. Would have been a pity if you were ugly."
"Your... uncles..." I squeezed out, trying to bite back the pain that now shot through my entire body. "Your father. They were monsters. You don't even know what they "
"Shut up!" Carl yelled. "Do you think I haven't heard those rumors? Do you really think I am that ignorant, Millie?" He pushed me against the bars again. I could feel tears sting my eyes. "Lies. Those are all lies. The Nation captured the criminals. Alan and Leann Summers. The criminals that gave birth to you."
He pushed me once more before backing away a step. I gasped for breath. My entire body shook. I could feel the bars still imprinted on my back, the spots where they had dug in now tender and throbbing. Carl swayed a moment, his hand reaching up to hold his forehead. New blood ran down his face, his anger boiling it to the surface in deep red gushes.
"I will have you," Carl hissed. "That boy out there won't. That stupid, naive guard won't. No one else will. I own you! Do you understand?"
I felt my head beginning to nod.
I stopped.
Carl stepped close again. I could see the glitter of the handcuffs as he picked them up from the ground. He watched me intently, brutal desire flickering across his eyes. "I will enjoy it, so much, letting your parents know that you are now mine. I will relish the look on their faces. They are nothing," he spat. "Nothing. They are crazed, blood thirsty criminals and the great Nation must be rid of them. They are sc.u.m. And you..." Carl pressed against me again, his mouth finding mine. His lips pushed painfully against mine, crus.h.i.+ng them hard against my teeth. I could feel him smiling against my lips. I couldn't breathe. My lips throbbed as he pulled away. "You are mine."
"No," I said softly.
Carl's eyebrows knitted darkly together. "What did you just say?"
Something surged inside me. I could feel it tingle as it coursed through my body, igniting a flame somewhere deep inside that I never knew existed. I straightened my back, standing up tall as my fists clenched at my side.
"No," I repeated.
"How. Dare. You." Carl spat. He lunged forward, swinging his fist at me. I felt myself jump to the side. It was as if someone else were controlling my body, directing me where to dive and jump as he swung again.
Carl screamed in rage and lunged into me. I dove to the side again, my body screaming in pain as I hit the ground. I could hear Carl slam into the bars above me. Looking up, I watched as he spun around, spitting blood from his mouth. I gritted my teeth, hoping the fire inside would keep burning as I lunged toward him. Without knowing why, I threw out my hand, grabbing his injured shoulder and shoving it back.
It ground under my hand, the injury popping hard as my hand forced further back. Carl screamed, his eyes shutting just long enough for me to reach forward with my other hand and slam the side of his head into the bars. His body went limp. I let go. Stepping back, I watched him slide to the ground, fresh blood pouring from his head. He blinked his eyes in a daze, his hands flailing to find me.
I bent down and picked up the handcuffs. Carl mumbled something, but I tuned it out as I grabbed his wrist and slapped the cuff around it. Stringing the cuffs through the bar above his head, I slapped the remaining one around his other hand. Before backing away, I pulled the ELIS from his belt and tucked it into my pocket. I paused for a moment, my hand resting over Carl's gun, then removed it from his belt, my fingers wrapped tightly around its handle.
I looked down at him. Carl shook his head, his eyes finally clearing. He jerked his arms hard against the bars, grunting in pain. The bars barely shook. He struggled harder. Finally giving up, he flopped back against the bars, heaving an angry breath.
"You idiot," he said coolly, his eyes shut. "You stupid, ignorant Jail Baby. You have no idea what you are doing."
I stood there, looking down at him. My body shook, the adrenaline that had just coursed through me fading fast. I could feel my head swimming, and clenched my fists harder in the effort to keep my balance. I couldn't look weak, not now.
Carl shook his head slowly, creeping his eyes open. They hesitated a moment on his gun, now held tightly in my hand, before rising to meet mine. His eyes were full of nothing but hate. "Look at you. You were stupid Dr. Eriks' pride and joy. So good, so perfectly perfect. A perfect example for the future. She had it all planned... Now, look at you." He spat, blood splattering across the ground near my feet. "You are just like them. You are sc.u.m, just like them."
"No, I am not," I said, carefully and slowly. "I am no one but me. My parents didn't decide who I am. This Nation didn't decide who I am. And you, you sure as h.e.l.l will never decide who I am." I bore my eyes into his, making sure he heard every word I said.
"I am free."
I turned and walked to the door. Carl started struggling against the cuffs again. I could hear him behind me, screaming so loud it vibrated the walls around me. I didn't look back. I didn't even pause. Opening the door, I stepped out and pulled it tightly shut behind me.
The door clicked shut, and Carl disappeared.
Part Three: HAPPINESS.
23.
I stood with my back against the door, the gun cool in my hand. I should have been shaking. Tears should have been streaming down my still sore cheeks. Instead, I stood tall, my body calm and still. For a moment, just a moment as I had stared into Carl's eyes, I had thought of pulling the trigger. I could feel the hunger for the satisfaction of the crack of ammunition, the shock on his face, the end of his hunt. Even now, standing outside with the ocean air in my lungs, I could taste that hunger.
I didn't pull the trigger. I didn't even aim. I was better than that. The gun remained cold in my hand, barely held by my steady fingers.
I breathed in deep, tasting the light salt in the air. In the distance, behind the menacing Wall, I could hear the crash of the waves on the hidden sh.o.r.e. It beat back and forth, life's rhythm writing a new song in my mind. My head felt clear. I felt like the only person left in this locked away world, mere steps away from the freedom I never thought could exist.
I knew I shouldn't be alone. I knew someone should be standing next to me, his hand protectively holding mind. Something was missing... My mind kicked into overdrive, suddenly remembering everything that had just taken place.
"Reed!" I yelled, pus.h.i.+ng off from the door.
I turned down the street, running as fast as I could. The air was still crisp, stinging my lungs with the taunt of morning as I gasped in desperate breaths. My feet pounded the pavement, barely noticing the rocks and rubble that they stomped as I sped forward.
I ran forever. In my mind, I thought I would never stop running. I would forever be gasping in the chilling air, my legs and feet forever pounding the earth, and I would never reach Reed. I could feel panic burn in my mind, the urgency pus.h.i.+ng my feet harder than before.
Ahead of me, I saw Oscar's yellow truck.
"Reed!" I screamed again, my voice raw from the desperate gasps of air. I could see him lying near the truck, still slumped to the ground where we had left him. He wasn't moving. "Reed! Reed, Reed, Reed!" I called his name over and over, my voice beating with the waves of the hidden ocean.
He groaned.
I skidded to a stop next to him, falling to my knees.
Reed stirred again, another groan escaping his lips. He blinked his eyes open, shooting a hand up to cradle his head. Scooping my arms around him, I pulled him into a sitting position. He leaned heavy against me, blinking his eyes over and over as if unable to believe that he was actually awake.
"Reed, are you alright?" I asked, running my hands over his head. I could feel a large lump where Carl's gun had made contact. As my fingers brushed it, Reed let out a sharp gasp.