Whose Baby Part 21

He might have claimed they had to learn together, but she felt as if she was in the hands of a master. He knew what to do to give her pleasure. He had her arching like a cat and whispering urgent pleas. "Do you like that?" he'd murmur, and, "Oh, yes," she would sigh.

But she explored as well, if timidly. When he groaned or she felt his muscles jerk, her own excitement escalated. He wanted her; she hadn't been wanted so often in her life.

He was the one who couldn't wait at the end, who with sudden stark need parted her thighs and pressed inside her. She felt his shuddering restraint, knew he was holding back so that he didn't hurt or frighten her.

Lynn's heart gave a squeeze. As he gritted his teeth and eased the last inches inside her, she had a fluttering moment of panic. She'd lied to herself.

Her heartdid have something to do with this. Even if he didn't feel the same.

Adam spoke, his voice so guttural she couldn't make it out.I love you , she imagined, knowing she would despise herself later for the pretence but holding it to herself nonetheless. As Adam began to move steadily, surely, she clutched at him with frantic hands and let her last protective walls fall.

The cramping, exultant wave came then, tumbling her head over heels in the tsunami. She could not fall in love, she thought desperately, and was so terribly afraid she already had.

Adam held his wife until her racing pulse quieted, her breathing slowed, until he felt her boneless relaxation against him. Only then did he ease away, tuck the covers around her, and sit on the edge of the bed.

He buried his face in his hands andthought,It couldn't have been that good. I couldn't have felt so much. The explanation was much simpler. He hadn't had s.e.x in over three years. The triumph at claiming her, the raw, primitive exhilaration because she was his, those were natural emotions.Lynnwas his wife, and he'd been driven lately by the need to make their relations.h.i.+p fact. Any man would have felt the same.

And, h.e.l.l, he wouldn't like himself if a certain amount of tenderness wasn't added to the brew, if he hadn't given a d.a.m.n whether she was pleased or not.

Anything else was in his imagination.

Swearing under his breath, Adam rose to his feet and then froze whenLynnmade a soft sound and burrowed deeper in the pillow and quilts. When she settled down, he went quietly to the window.

Jennifer, forgive me.

No! There was nothing to forgive. He'd married for Rose's sake, for Sh.e.l.ly's, and he owed it to them, to himself, toLynn, to make this marriage real and lasting. Jennifer would understand.

He wouldn't let himself think even for a moment that this lovemaking had been more honest than anything he'd ever shared with Jennifer.

Lynn's shyness, her obvious astonishment at her effect on him and even at her own physical response, had touched him. He was flattered, maybe, by the implication that she'd never found such pleasure with her worthless husband, that only he, Adam, had the power to awaken her s.e.xuality.

Jennifer and he had been good in bed together. Brazen, she'd loved to flaunt her delicate, perfect body. Shy was a foreign word to his Jenny. That didn't make her response to him any less meaningful.

Staring out at the soft yellow glow of street lamps, able to hear the m.u.f.fled beat of the surf though the window was shut, Adam wished like h.e.l.l that he could be as casual about s.e.x as men he overheard talking in the locker room of his health club. Half of them were getting it on the side even though they were married, he'd learned. It meant nothing a little fun, an itch scratched.

Adam didn't want to have an affair. All he asked was that he be able to make love to his wife without feeling as if he was cheating on Jennifer, without this constant, tearing remembrance that she'd lost everything, that all he could do in return was prove that his love was enduring.

Maybe he hadn't been ready to test himself by beddingLynn.

Flattening his hands on the cold gla.s.s, Adam grimaced. Too late, he reminded himself. There was no way in h.e.l.l he could tell her in the morning that this had been a mistake, that maybe they should keep their relations.h.i.+p platonic. He owed her better than that kind of hurt.

And the truth was,he didn't want to go back. He wanted to seeLynn's eyes flutter open in the morning, see the dawning awareness, the pretty pink blush. He wanted to kiss her and make love to her in the soft light, taste her sweetness before breakfast.

He wanted to make a habit of sleeping with his wife, in every sense of the word.

Forgive me, Jenny.

Chapter 13.

"Why is Daddy smiling at you like that?" Rose whispered loudly. She stared at her father with deep suspicion.

As a family, they werestrolling the beach for goodies tossed up by this week's storm. High tide had left a string of slippery, stinking seaweed and a long curving line of smooth small stones and broken sh.e.l.ls, among which treasures might be found. Walking ahead with Sh.e.l.ly, Adam was relaxed and handsome in jeans and a cream-colored Irish fisherman's sweater that added bulk to his shoulders. A breeze off the ocean ruffled his dark hair.

They were all supposed to have their heads bowed as they searched for bright bits of agate or perfect sh.e.l.ls, although heaven knows, after living here for three years, Lynn didn't need even one more sand dollar or stone, however pretty. Adam couldn't be too serious about the hunt, either, because when Sh.e.l.ly crouched to poke at wet stones, he had directed a wicked and very s.e.xy grin atLynn.

Little girls weren't supposed to understand that the kind of smile he'd just given Mommy was something to make every smart woman wary. Rose's knowledge was apparently instinctive.

Adam and Lynn had been married for six weeks now. The girls were only beginning to notice that something was different between their parents. Rose had looked thoughtful a few times, but was easily distracted.

Lynnfigured she'd try again. "Maybe Sh.e.l.ly found something good," she suggested, knowing perfectly well, and with secret pleasure, that he wasn't nearly as interested in a polished agate as he was in stealing a kiss when Rose and Sh.e.l.ly became preoccupied.

Bouncing back up, Sh.e.l.ly skipped beside Adam. Her small hand was in his; every so often he swung her over a log or rock protruding from the gravelly beach, to her delight. "Daddy isstrong ," she had declared happily, preferring him as a companion on this walk.

Her eagerness to walk with Daddy would have hurt, if immediately afterward Rose hadn't slipped her hand confidingly intoLynn's and said softly, "I don't like it when Daddy swings me like that."

Rose had a gift for such moments.Lynncouldn't quite decide whether Rose really was afraid when Daddy swung her, or whether her empathy was already developed to the point where she sensed her new mommy's distress. Surely at only three, she couldn't be mature enough to understand other people's feelings! Yet she seemed extraordinarily sensitive tomood, and despite the fact that she'd been given almost anything material she'd ever wanted, Rose was shyly grateful for small things that Sh.e.l.ly would have taken for granted.

Perhaps she wasn't as smart as Sh.e.l.ly and would never be the leader, but she knew instinctively how to be a friend.Lynnworried only that, growing up, she might hide feelings or depression or anger because she didn't want to upset anyone else. As the two girls became old enough to understand, what effect would the switch in the hospital have on them?Lynnhad read about one of the best-known cases, where the child had ended up with big problems. Would the same thing happen with Sh.e.l.ly or Rose? Feelings of resentment or insecurity would be natural, surely.

Of course, she thought in rueful amus.e.m.e.nt, Sh.e.l.ly wouldn't be able to keep them toherself . Already, she talked through everything. She was utterly incapable of keeping a secret.

Rose, however, was another matter.

Lynnbreathed in the salt-laden air and gazed out at the broken surf and the curve of the earth far beyond.

When she glanced back, she found Rose's gaze wide and inquiring. "How come Daddy went to bed with you last night?" she asked innocently.

Lynn gulped. Oh, dear. The kids hadn't actually caught them in bed together yet, and she hadn't been able to think of a way to casually say,Yourdaddy and I are going to sleep together from now on.

"I saw him come out in his 'jamas," Rose continued. "He only wears his bottoms, you know."

Lynn knew.

"He says the top wraps him up like a mummy 'cuzhe rolls and rolls and rolls when he sleeps."

Lynn smiled down at her daughter. "That happens to my nightie sometimes, too."

Rose's forehead crinkled. "What's a mummy? Is it like you? Only, you're not all wrapped up."

Lynn explained that a long, long time ago, before her grandparents'grandparents' grandparents were born, Egyptians had wrapped dead people in linen bandages before putting them in a tomb.

Rose's face brightened. "I 'member this boy at my school! He came to the Halloween party with toilet paper around him." She gestured. "Like that. He was a big kid. Was he a mummy?"

"Well, pretending to be one," Lynn conceded. "He probably thought it would be a scary costume."

"He wasn't dead," Rose said earnestly. "Kids kept ripping his toilet paper. He got raggedy."

"That's what happens to costumes at a party, if you're having enough fun." Lynn glimpsed something bright ahead, just poking out of the sand. She steered Rose toward it.

Rose pounced. "Mommy, look!"

It was a whole bottle that Rose pried out of dried seaweed. Probably a beer bottle, but the shape was unusual, the gla.s.s roughened by sand and salt water.

Lynn squatted beside Rose, who was wiping sand and crusty seaweed from her find. "What do you think,is there a genie in it?"

Aladdinwas one of Rose's favorite movies. "No." With one eye, Rose peered inside. "It's empty. The top must'vefalled off, and he got out. Maybe he doesn't have to give wishes no more."

"No more wishes?" Lynn's gaze went to her husband's broad back and dark head, bent as he listened to Sh.e.l.ly chatter. "What a terrible thought!"

"Genies get tired of doing wishes, you know," Rose continued importantly. "Sometimes they need a '

cation."

"A vacation?" Lynn pretended to think. "I suppose they do."

"Daddy said maybe we could all go on 'cationsometime. He said maybe Hawaii. It's got beaches, he says. But you got beaches here, too."

"The ones in Hawaii are made of silky, golden sand instead of rocks. And the sun s.h.i.+nes there lots more than it does here. Everywhere there are big colorful flowers and waterfalls tumbling into pools, and whales right offsh.o.r.e."

And Adam wanted to take her? It could be a sort of honeymoon, to make up for the one they hadn't had.

Sh.e.l.ly suddenly crowed in delight. Face alight, she pointed into the foamy fingers of the waves. "Lookit! There's one a' those gla.s.s b.a.l.l.s!" Hopping up and down with excitement, she exclaimed, "An' it's a big one!"

"Don't you have sharpeyes. " Adam lifted her onto his shoulders. "Okay,punkin , let's go get it."

Rose and Lynn followed them across the wet gravel left by a receding tide. Sure enough, the j.a.panese float bobbed into sight and then vanished as a wave broke over it.

"Shoot, it's getting away," Adam said, pausing at the water's edge.

"Catch it, Daddy!" His daughter bounced even harder and grabbed his hair. "Don't let it get away!"

He looked ruefully down at his running shoes and jeans,then plunged into the ankle-deep foam. "Ah! It's freezing!"

Knee-deep before he could get his hands on the gla.s.s fisherman's float, Adam grabbed it, swore and dropped it back into the water.

A mother's anxiety seized Lynn, who watched with an eagle eye. He should have left Sh.e.l.ly behind. What if she fell off? What if an extra big breaker should knock him down?

A wave did surge in, soaking him to his thighs. Sh.e.l.ly seemed to have a grip on his hair as she kept bouncing and cheering him on.

"It's going away again, Daddy! Those ol' crabs won't hurt you. You better get it, 'cuzit's mine and I saw it first."

Gingerly he picked it up again and waded toward sh.o.r.e. One more cold wave washed up to his knees, and then he was squelching triumphantly up above the foaming edge of the surf, his teeth a flash of white as he grinned like a conqueror mounting the ramparts.

"What is it?" Rose asked dubiously, as he set it down and they all hunkered in for a look.

A foot in diameter, the green gla.s.s fisherman's float still had the twine net encasing it. Tiny pale crabs scuttled all over it. Lynn explained that it had floated all the way from j.a.pan, where fishermen used gla.s.s floats still instead of plastic ones to anchor their nets. She helped evict the crabs.

"I betsomebody'd buy it, huh, Mom?" Sh.e.l.ly asked.

"I'm sure they would, but maybe you'd like to keep it." Two months ago, she'd have been grateful for the extra cash it would have brought, Lynn thought wryly. "To remember today by."

"Can I?"

"Yep." Adam smiled at her. "If not for your sharp eyes, we never would have seen it." His gaze touched Rose as if by accident, and then he lifted a brow at Lynn. "Do you find these often?" "Hardly ever anymore," she admitted. "But see what Rose found?" She pulled the bottle from her coat pocket. "It's empty, so we figure the genie must be taking a vacation. In Hawaii."

Sh.e.l.ly stared covetously at the bottle. "I bet a geniedid live in it. Do you think he'll come back?"

"Who knows?" Lynn let it slip back into her pocket. "You both found treasures today, didn't you?"

On the way home Sh.e.l.ly and Rose ran ahead. Adam had to lug the big gla.s.s float. He paused once, when the girls found a tidal pool, to s.n.a.t.c.h a quick kiss, his lips cold but stirring warmth in her.

Sh.e.l.ly's piercing voice penetrated Lynn's euphoria. "Daddy'skissin ' Mommy! Look, Rose. How come he'skissin ' Mommy?"

Adam drew back. "It would seem I'm making a public demonstration of my affections."

"He kissesme ," Rose declared.

"Not like that," Sh.e.l.ly said in a tone of horrified fascination. "Not on the lips!"

Facing the girls, his free arm looped around Lynn's waist, Adam said, "I like kissing Mommy, too. Mommies and Daddies do kiss on the lips."

"Eew." Sh.e.l.ly made a troll face.

"Trust me," Adam said with amus.e.m.e.nt, "you'll understand someday."

"What if a boy at preschool wants to kiss me on the lips?" Rose asked seriously.

"You pop him in the nose," he suggested.

The girls burst into giggles and scrambled onto a long log washed in by the sea and half-buried on the beach so that it made a perfect balance beam for three-year-olds. They could fall without hurting themselves.

"Rose already asked why you were sleeping with me," Lynn said, as she and Adam paralleled the girls' path.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. She got distracted. You told her you don't wear pajama tops because they end up wound around you like a mummy's wrapping, and so I had to explain that a mummy isnot like me."

He laughed, creasing his cheeks and warming the cool planes of his face. The fluttering in her chest Lynn felt at the sight of him was becoming familiar. She'd married this man in cold blood, and now she was feeling everything she had when she'd imagined herself in love with Brian.

Everything, she admitted silently, and more.