Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters Part 3

The gentleman laughed, and took the half-crown, which I afterwards observed that he gave to a grey-headed beggar at the bottom of Portsdown Hill. I inquired of him how soon we should be at Portsmouth; he answered that we were pa.s.sing the lines; but I saw no lines, and I was ashamed to show my ignorance. He asked me what s.h.i.+p I was going to join. I could not recollect her name, but I told him it was painted on the outside of my chest, which was coming down by the waggon; all that I could recollect was that it was a French name.

"Have you no letter of introduction to the captain?" said he.

"Yes I have," replied I; and I pulled out my pocket-book in which the letter was. "Captain Savage, H.M. s.h.i.+p _Diomede_," continued I, reading to him.

To my surprise he very coolly proceeded to open the letter, which, when I perceived what he was doing, occasioned me immediately to s.n.a.t.c.h the letter from him, stating my opinion at the same time that it was a breach of honour, and that in my opinion he was no gentleman.

"Just as you please, youngster," replied he. "Recollect, you have told me I am no gentleman."

He wrapped his plaid around him, and said no more; and I was not a little pleased at having silenced him by my resolute behaviour.

Chapter III

I am made to look very blue at the Blue Posts--Find wild spirits around, and, soon after, hot spirits within me; at length my spirits overcome me Call to pay my respects to the Captain, and find that I had had the pleasure of meeting him before--No sooner out of one sc.r.a.pe than into another.

When we stopped, I inquired of the coachman which was the best inn. He answered "that it was the Blue Postesses, where the mids.h.i.+pmen leave their chestesses, call for tea and toastesses, and sometimes forget to pay for their breakfastesses." He laughed when he said it, and I thought that he was joking with me; but he pointed out two large blue posts at the door next the coach-office, and told me that all the mids.h.i.+pmen resorted to that hotel. He then asked me to remember the coachman, which, by this time I had found out implied that I was not to forget to give him a s.h.i.+lling, which I did, and then went into the inn. The coffee-room was full of mids.h.i.+pmen, and, as I was anxious about my chest, I inquired of one of them if he knew when the waggon would come in.

"Do you expect your mother by it?" replied he.

"Oh no! but I expect my uniforms--I only wear these bottle-greens until they come."

"And pray what s.h.i.+p are you going to join?"

"The _Die-a-maid_--Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage."

"The _Diomede_--I say, Robinson, a'n't that the frigate in which the mids.h.i.+pmen had four dozen apiece for not having pipe-clayed their weekly accounts on the Sat.u.r.day?"

"To be sure it is," replied the other; "why the captain gave a youngster five dozen the other day for wearing a scarlet watch-riband."

"He's the greatest Tartar in the service," continued the other; "he flogged the whole starboard watch the last time that he was on a cruise, because the s.h.i.+p would only sail nine knots upon a bowline."

"Oh dear," said I, "then I'm very sorry that I am going to join him."

"'Pon my soul I pity you: you'll be f.a.gged to death: for there's only three mids.h.i.+pmen in the s.h.i.+p now--all the rest ran away. Didn't they, Robinson?"

"There's only two left now; for poor Matthews died of fatigue. He was worked all day, and kept watch all night for six weeks, and one morning he was found dead upon his chest."

"G.o.d bless my soul!" cried I; "and yet, on sh.o.r.e, they say he is such a kind man to his mids.h.i.+pmen."

"Yes," replied Robinson, "he spreads that report every where. Now, observe, when you first call upon him, and report your having come to join his s.h.i.+p, he'll tell you that he is very happy to see you, and that he hopes your family are well--then he'll recommend you to go on board and learn your duty. After that, stand clear. Now, recollect what I have said, and see if it does not prove true. Come, sit down with us and take a gla.s.s of grog; it will keep your spirits up."

These mids.h.i.+pmen told me so much about my captain, and the horrid cruelties which he had practised, that I had some doubts whether I had not better set off home again. When I asked their opinion, they said, that if I did, I should be taken up as a deserter and hanged; that my best plan was to beg his acceptance of a few gallons of rum, for he was very fond of grog, and that then I might perhaps be in his good graces, as long as the rum might last.

I am sorry to state that the mids.h.i.+pmen made me very tipsy that evening.

I don't recollect being put to bed, but I found myself there the next morning, with a dreadful headache, and a very confused recollection of what had pa.s.sed. I was very much shocked at my having so soon forgotten the injunctions of my parents, and was making vows never to be so foolish again, when in came the mids.h.i.+pman who had been so kind to me the night before. "Come, Mr Bottlegreen," he bawled out, alluding, I suppose, to the colour of my clothes, "rouse and bitt. There's the captain's c.o.xswain waiting for you below. By the powers, you're in a pretty sc.r.a.pe for what you did last night!"

"Did last night!" replied I, astonished. "Why, does the captain know that I was tipsy?"

"I think you took devilish good care to let him know it when you were at the theatre."

"At the theatre! was I at the theatre?"

"To be sure you were. You would go, do all we could to prevent you, though you were as drunk as David's sow. Your captain was there with the admiral's daughters. You called him a tyrant and snapped your fingers at him. Why, don't you recollect? You told him that you did not care a fig for him."

"Oh dear! oh dear! what shall I do? what shall I do?" cried I: "My mother cautioned me so about drinking and bad company."

"Bad company, you whelp--what do you mean by that?"

"O, I did not particularly refer to you."

"I should hope not! However, I recommend you, as a friend, to go to the George Inn as fast as you can, and see your captain, for the longer you stay away, the worse it will be for you. At all events, it will be decided whether he receives you or not. It is fortunate for you that you are not on the s.h.i.+p's books. Come, be quick, the c.o.xswain is gone back."

"Not on the s.h.i.+p's books," replied I sorrowfully. "Now I recollect there was a letter from the captain to my father, stating that he had put me on the books."

"Upon my honour, I'm sorry--very sorry indeed," replied the mids.h.i.+pman; --and he quitted the room, looking as grave as if the misfortune had happened to himself. I got up with a heavy head, and heavier heart, and as soon as I was dressed, I asked the way to the George Inn. I took my letter of introduction with me, although I was afraid it would be of little service. When I arrived, I asked, with a trembling voice, whether Captain Thomas Kirkwall Savage, of H.M. s.h.i.+p _Diomede_, was staying there. The waiter replied, that he was at breakfast with Captain Courtney, but that he would take up my name. I gave it him, and in a minute the waiter returned, and desired that I would walk up. O how my heart beat!--I never was so frightened--I thought I should have dropped on the stairs. Twice I attempted to walk into the room, and each time my legs failed me; at last I wiped the perspiration from my forehead, and with a desperate effort I went into the room.

"Mr Simple, I am glad to see you," said a voice. I had held my head down, for I was afraid to look at him, but the voice was so kind that I mustered up courage; and, when I did look up, there sat with his uniform and epaulets, and his sword by his side, the pa.s.senger in the plaid cloak, who wanted to open my letter, and whom I had told to his face, that he was _no gentleman_.

I thought I should have died as the other mids.h.i.+pman did upon his chest.

I was just sinking down upon my knees to beg for mercy, when the captain perceiving my confusion, burst out into a laugh, and said, "So you know me again, Mr Simple? Well, don't be alarmed, you did your duty in not permitting me to open the letter, supposing me, as you did, to be some other person, and you were perfectly right, under that supposition, to tell me that I was not a gentleman. I give you credit for your conduct.

Now sit down and take some breakfast."

"Captain Courtney," said he to the other captain, who was at the table, "this is one of my youngsters just entering the service. We were pa.s.sengers yesterday by the same coach." He then told him the circ.u.mstance which occurred, at which they laughed heartily.

I now recovered my spirits a little--but still there was the affair at the theatre, and I thought that perhaps he did not recognize me. I was, however, soon relieved from my anxiety by the other captain inquiring, "Were you at the theatre last night, Savage?"

"No; I dined at the admiral's; there's no getting away from those girls, they are so pleasant."

"I rather think you are a little--_taken_ in that quarter."

"No, on my word! I might be if I had time to discover which I liked best; but my s.h.i.+p is at present my wife, and the only wife I intend to have until I am laid on the shelf."

Well, thought I, if he was not at the theatre, it could not have been him that I insulted. Now if I can only give him the rum, and make friends with him.

"Pray, Mr Simple, how are your father and mother?" said the captain.

"Very well, I thank you, sir, and desire me to present their compliments."

"I am obliged to them. Now I think the sooner you go on board and learn your duty the better." (Just what the mids.h.i.+pman told me--the very words, thought I--then it's all true--and I began to tremble again.)

"I have a little advice to offer you," continued the captain. "In the first place, obey your superior officers without hesitation; it is for me, not you, to decide whether an order is unjust or not. In the next place, never swear or drink spirits. The first is immoral and ungentleman-like, the second is a vile habit which will grow upon you. I never touch spirit myself, and I expect that my young gentlemen will refrain from it also. Now you may go, and as soon as your uniforms arrive, you will repair on board. In the meantime, as I had some little insight into your character when we travelled together, let me recommend you not to be too intimate at first sight with those you meet, or you may be led into indiscretions. Good morning."

I quitted the room with a low bow, glad to have surmounted so easily what appeared to be a chaos of difficulty; but my mind was confused with the testimony of the mids.h.i.+pman, so much at variance with the language and behaviour of the captain. When I arrived at the Blue Posts, I found all the mids.h.i.+pmen in the coffee-room, and I repeated to them all that had pa.s.sed. When I had finished, they burst out laughing, and said that they had only been joking with me. "Well," said I to the one who had called me up in the morning, "you may call it joking, but I call it lying."