The Wraiths Of Will And Pleasure Part 17

'It's a big move,' Seel said. 'There are many things to consider.'

'I know the harder I push you, the more you'll dig in your heels, but even so...' Thiede shrugged. 'It all seems a little pointless and tiresome now.'

'I'll need a month or so to sort out my affairs,' Seel said, gazing at his plate. He could feel Thiede's immediate tense stillness across the table.

'Whatever time you need. You know that. Any help I can offer...'

'And I want to see Pellaz before I make up my mind for definite.'

Seel could sense Thiede swapping a sharp glance with Ashmael. He could imagine Ashmael's insouciant shrug, but he didn't look up. Not until he said, 'You said you wanted me in Immanion for Pell. Prove to me that's the real reason.'

Thiede's silver grey eyes were like glittering stones. He was not pleased, but also knew he was cornered. 'I don't expect you to take my word for it. Of course, you may see him, but he won't be as you remember him. The process is far from complete.'

'If I can recognise him, that's enough,' Seel said. 'I want to do this before I move from Saltrock.'

'Am I right in a.s.suming Lord Ashmael's curiosity is at work here, as well as your own?'

'This is personal,' Seel said, wiping his mouth on a napkin. 'Ash can't influence my decisions in this matter.'

Ashmael raised his hands. 'I wouldn't intrude on such a delicate situation.'

'Very well,' Thiede said, 'although I would have preferred you to wait a little longer until you saw Pellaz.'

'Now or never,' Seel said. 'You didn't produce Cal in chains, but at least you can grant me this.'

'The first matter is not forgotten, I a.s.sure you,' Thiede said. 'And I promise you I will fulfil my promise. We had a deal. But as a mark of trust, I will grant this request also.'

'Thank you,' said Seel. His heart was beating too fast, his ears zinging with white noise. Soon, there would be no going back.

The journey to the place where Pellaz was kept would take no time at all, not in the otherlanes. Thiede a.s.sured Seel he could be back at Saltrock in time for supper. Seel was unnerved. This was all too quick. He would need time with Pellaz, and it was clear Thiede wasn't prepared to give it. When Thiede went to the bathroom, Seel couldn't even discuss it too openly with Ashmael, because both of them were aware that Thiede was too close for comfort and might eavesdrop on them psychically. 'You'll be fine,' Ashmael said. 'Don't worry.'

'I'm not looking forward to what I might see,' Seel said. He felt cold, although the room was warm. His jaw ached. 'If this is for real, every instinct inside me is screaming for me to keep away.'

'You don't have to put yourself through this,' Thiede said. He stood at the doorway.

'I do. For Pell,' Seel said. 'Will he know me?'

'No,' Thiede said. 'That's impossible.'

'What am I going to see?' Seel asked.

Thiede smiled cruelly. 'Squeamish? I wouldn't expect that from a har who once ran with the Unneah.'

Ashmael reached out and gripped Seel's cold hands, which were knotted together on the table. 'I will be waiting,' he said. 'Zephyr will take care of you.'

The sedim sedim broke through into the world in a place that was as icy as the otherlanes. It was clearly a far northern country, hardly touched by human or harish hand. Snow covered the ancient pine forests and sound was muted. A short distance away, on a sheer hillside, a castle of white stone nestled at the edge of a forest. Lights glowed in the windows. It was nearly dusk. broke through into the world in a place that was as icy as the otherlanes. It was clearly a far northern country, hardly touched by human or harish hand. Snow covered the ancient pine forests and sound was muted. A short distance away, on a sheer hillside, a castle of white stone nestled at the edge of a forest. Lights glowed in the windows. It was nearly dusk.

'This is where I conduct my most secret experiments,' Thiede said in an arch tone.

'Where are we?' Seek asked.

'Oh, a very cold place. Private. Come, let's make haste. I dislike the cold.'

The sedim sedim galloped over the hard-packed snow, their glistening coats appearing drab against the aching whiteness, where blue shadows were forming. Seel's coat was not thick enough to keep him warm. Thiede hadn't warned him about the cold. By the time they reached the castle courtyard, Seel's hands and nose were numb, even though they'd ridden for only half a mile or so. galloped over the hard-packed snow, their glistening coats appearing drab against the aching whiteness, where blue shadows were forming. Seel's coat was not thick enough to keep him warm. Thiede hadn't warned him about the cold. By the time they reached the castle courtyard, Seel's hands and nose were numb, even though they'd ridden for only half a mile or so.

Hara were waiting in the yard, as if they were expecting Thiede. He must have sent advance notice of his visit. 'Warm drinks, if you please,' he ordered, striding past the grooms who took the reins of the sedim sedim.

Seel followed Thiede into the castle. Inside, it was very warm and comfortably furnished. The rooms were much smaller than Seel expected and had a strangely unlived in ambience. Thiede marched into a sitting room and went to stand before the hearth, where a ferocious fire devoured a mountain of pine logs. 'I'm glad you've decided to join us in Immanion,' he said, holding out his hands to the flames.

Seel went to stand beside him, conscious of Thiede's immense height. In his presence, Seel felt like a child. 'There was only so much resistance I could put up,' he said. 'After a point, it becomes futile, if not self-indulgent. I know what you are offering and I'm flattered by your opinion of me. I only hope I deserve it.'

'You do. Don't think you'll just be Pell's companion. I have work for you, great work.'

A deferential har appeared at the doorway carrying a tray of steaming mugs. The delicious smell of hot chocolate spiced with liquor eclipsed the scent of burning pine. Thiede took both mugs from the tray and handed one to Seel. 'Don't worry about seeing Pell. It's not that dreadful.'

'I have accepted many impossible things in my life,' Seel said, 'but I never thought I'd have to accept this. I feel very... strange.'

'That's quite natural. I will have a hard job convincing the Hegemony about Pell, you know. And he will have an even harder job living up to my expectations. We will both need you, Seel.'

'What about his mind?' Seel asked. 'How will this... process... affect it?'

Thiede shrugged and took a sip of his drink. 'Impossible to predict. I'll do what I can for him, believe me.'

The drinks were finished too soon for Seel's liking. He felt he needed more time to compose and prepare himself, but Thiede was already ushering him out of the door.

Seel followed Thiede up several flights of stairs and through a maze of corridors. There didn't seem to be many hara around, although Seel could sometimes hear the sound of doors closing in the distance and the pad of feet on the carpeted floors. He felt completely disorientated. He didn't want to see this. And yet he did. The thought of murder was far from his mind. He hoped only to live with his sanity intact through the next few minutes.

It can't be any worse than what happened to Orien, he thought, and you coped with that. Remember who you are, what you've seen. You can do this. and you coped with that. Remember who you are, what you've seen. You can do this.

Thiede stopped at a white door and turned the key that stuck out of it. They kept something inside that room, locked up. Seel swallowed sour saliva.

Thiede pushed open the door. 'Here we are. Would you like me to come in with you, or would you prefer to do this alone?'

'Alone,' Seel said. He realised he might never leave this place, because his conscience could force him to do something inside that room for which Thiede would punish him severely. Now, it did not seem to matter. Only an hour before, he would never have put himself at risk in this way, but the feelings of horror, which it took all his strength to control, made him acknowledge that some things might be more important than his own life. He closed his eyes as he stepped past Thiede. He found himself uttering a prayer to Orien's spirit. 'Be with me, old friend.'

The door closed behind him and he opened his eyes. It was a white room, too white, and almost empty but for the structure at its centre. Seel's first impression was that it was a kind of vat, a processing machine. Thick coiled pipes that were like intestines rose from its sides and disappeared through padded holes in the ceiling. It was surrounded by long, diaphanous curtains that moved slightly. There was no draught in the room, but Seel smelled a strange lemony musky scent and perceived an almost inaudible humming sound. He stared ahead of himself for agonising seconds, then walked quickly across the room and threw back the curtains.

The structure was made of some transparent material that was not gla.s.s: it appeared organic, like an immense pod from an alien plant, and was roughly oval in shape. It was full of milky green liquid and rested on a plinth of pipes and struts. Something hung inside it, a drowned thing. A body with long black hair that floated around it. Snaking narrow pipes like tendrils of black vine grew into its flesh. The arms were bent up against the chest, the hands twisted claws. The head was turned to the side, its face clouded by hair.

Seel steadied himself and placed the palm of one hand against the pod's surface. It was warm and a faint vibration pa.s.sed through his fingers. He felt light-headed and nauseous. He must not think that what he saw before him might be a dead body brought back to life. No, Cal had burned the body. This was something else. For some moments, he took deep breaths and calmed himself, willed his disorientation to abate.

'Pell,' he said aloud. He couldn't tell if the body in the pod was Pellaz or not. It was not as hideous to behold as he'd feared, but there was no way he could be sure of identifying the har within. The body hung motionless, lifeless.

Seel lowered his hand, exhaled slowly. He glanced up at the coiling pipes, which must surely provide life support of some kind. Should he attempt to sabotage the pod now? He couldn't be sure. He didn't know what he was looking at. Impulsively, he knocked against the surface with his knuckles, not really expecting a response, but at once the body within the pod jerked violently.

Seel jumped back in alarm. Inside the pod, bubbles streamed from the har's mouth, and his hair threshed around him. The head snapped back, eyes closed.

'Pell,' Seel breathed. There was no mistake. He knew that face, still beautiful. Dreamer Pell was living the ultimate dream, hanging there in an unnatural womb. 'You didn't die,' Seel said. 'You couldn't have. Thiede fooled Cal, didn't he? That's what happened. It must be.' But how could a har live in liquid?

Slowly Pell's head turned this way and that and then the eyes opened. Only he had no eyes. Then Seel realised there were orbs in the sockets that were completely black. Pell's lips peeled back in a snarl, and his teeth were yellow jagged stumps. The inside of his mouth was livid green and raw red. Not perfect, far from it. There was no sense of intelligence, personality or soul in what hung there.

'Kill it,' Seel murmured to himself. 'Do something.' He felt remarkably calm.

Pell's clawed hands unfurled and he reached out. He placed his long fingers against the inside of the pod's surface. Seel was impelled to raise his own hand again, press it against the outside. They were almost touching. He closed his eyes for a moment and the briefest, lightest mind touch brushed against his thoughts. 'I am here.'

Seel opened his eyes. 'Tell me quickly,' he said, in mind touch. 'Do you want release from this?'

The black eyes regarded him without expression. 'I... Am... Pellaz...'

There was strength behind the thought, the instinct to survive. With his lips closed, he looked beautiful again. His black eyes were full of stars like the depths of the universe.

'You will come back to us,' Seel said, more to himself than to Pell. 'You really will.'

'I... Am... Loved...'

'Yes,' Seel said. 'You are. A har has died because of that love. Do you know me?'

'I... Am...' Pell's eyelids flickered and closed, and the light mind touch faded away. The effort of communication had clearly exhausted what little strength he had. Had he sensed Seel's intention and dragged himself from whatever deep place his being inhabited to stop Seel killing him? Seel believed so. He stepped through the curtains and rearranged them carefully. Thiede came into the room. Seel could not look at him.

'You couldn't do it, could you,' Thiede said.

'I did. I'm not that squeamish.'

'You know what I mean.'

Seel glanced at him and began to walk towards the door.

Thiede caught hold of his arm. 'You came here to kill him. Don't think I didn't know.'

Seel pulled his arm away, walked out of the room.

After locking the door once more, Thiede followed him. 'I knew you wouldn't, just as I knew that Ashmael would ask you to.'

Seel stopped and faced Thiede. 'Would you have stopped me if you'd been wrong?'

'Of course, only I knew there was no danger. It was necessary, this visit. It will prove to the Hegemony I'm right. I bear no malice about the incident. In Ashmael's place, I'd have done the same, as I would in yours. I never underestimate my most valued hara. It is what makes them special.'

'I couldn't kill Pell, but that doesn't make it right, what you're doing.'

'Save your opinions until you have witnessed his return,' Thiede said, 'then you may talk to me of whether I'm right or wrong.'

'But why let him die only to do this? Why didn't you just take him from Saltrock with you and train him yourself?'

Thiede laughed softly. 'Oh, Seel, do you seek to pry my secrets from me? I'll tell you this. I incepted Pell, and he became part of me because of it, but not a big enough part. I was prepared for his death...'

'Because you arranged it?' Seel snapped. 'That's barbaric.'

Thiede didn't respond to the question. 'I was able to net the essence of his being in... let's call it transit. You must appreciate that I have access to advanced technology, the like of which has not seen on this world before. The sedim, sedim, for example. The incubation pod you saw in Pell's room is from the same origin. It will take time, but eventually, Pellaz will be in the condition to accept more of my life essence, not through blood, or through aruna, but something more. He will become more than any other har.' for example. The incubation pod you saw in Pell's room is from the same origin. It will take time, but eventually, Pellaz will be in the condition to accept more of my life essence, not through blood, or through aruna, but something more. He will become more than any other har.'

'More than you?'

'I wouldn't go that that far. Wraeththu need something, or somehar, to bind them. They need a figurehead, a divine ruler. I am making one for them.' far. Wraeththu need something, or somehar, to bind them. They need a figurehead, a divine ruler. I am making one for them.'

'Did Pell have a choice about it?'

'Unfortunately, no. He will resent that for a time, I expect.'

'I'm weak. I should have killed him when I had the chance.'

'Don't delude yourself,' Thiede said in a sharper tone. 'Pellaz wants to live, as all living creatures do. He just can't help it. It's a biological imperative. Thankfully, he'll retain no memory of your murderous impulses. He will never know you saw him in that state.'

'Take me back to Saltrock,' Seel said. 'You've got what you wanted.'

'Indeed I have. You will visit Immanion soon to see the house I've had built for you. I expect you to move in within a month. You will be pleased to know I've allocated a sedu sedu to you. Your training in controlling it begins in two days' time. I'll send a teacher to Saltrock with the animal.' to you. Your training in controlling it begins in two days' time. I'll send a teacher to Saltrock with the animal.'

'We're all your puppets,' Seel said angrily. 'We are all hanging in pods, hooked up to pipes, breathing fluid. I can't fight you, Thiede, but I have your measure.'

'Good. I wouldn't expect anything less of you.' Thiede put an arm around Seel's shoulder and began to lead him up the corridor.

Seel glanced back once at the door. He felt numb.

Chapter Thirteen.

The G.o.ds came to Flick at any time of day or night. He would be walking in the hills, and a name would come to him. One time, as he watched a flight of birds erupt from the canopy of trees and spiral, screeching, into the sky, he heard in his mind the name Miyacala, and an image came to him of a tall, white-haired har, whose eyes were milky blind, but whose forehead burned with a silver star. Flick knew then that Miyacala needed no physical eyes to see, for his sight was of the psychic kind. He was a G.o.d of initiation and magic, and those hara who studied and honed their skills walked in the prints of his sacred feet.

One night, as Itzama lay beside Flick, breathing softly in sleep, and Flicks body ached for a release that Itzama could never give it, he saw a black deity, with serpentine hair, whose eyes were burning red. He was a fearsome G.o.d, and he reigned over life, aruna and death. His name was Aruhani and he could smite as quickly as he could bless.

The third G.o.d that came to Flick was Lunil, a creature of the moon, whose skin was blue and whose hair was a smoke of stars. These were the dehara, harish G.o.ds.

Sometimes, Flick dreamed of returning to the world of Wraeththu, coming like a prophet with a sacred text to inspire and enlighten. Then he asked himself: why should anyone listen to what he had to say? It was his own imaginings, and his pantheon was personal. If he went to Seel with his creations, Seel would only scoff, and the imagined humiliation of this made Flick's face burn. But mythologies continued to pour from his mind and occasionally he would catch brief glimpses of spirit faces among the trees, or hiding amid the rocks. He heard their voices in the rill of the stream, in the cry of birds and in the wind in the mesquites. There were no more dreams of Pellaz, but perhaps he too had become a G.o.d. Pellaz, G.o.d of martyrs.

There was no need to write any of this down, because once Flick had a thought, it stayed with him. It was as if he'd known these imagined ent.i.ties all his life and had always respected and honoured them. Itzama told him that certain G.o.d forms recurred throughout every human culture, therefore it was no surprise that Wraeththu should have their own. 'They are not Wraeththu's, they are mine,' Flick said, and realised he was uncertain he wanted anyhar else to believe in them.

Sometimes, Flick remembered that the Hostling of Bones had told him he would train for a year and a day, and when this recollection came to him, he always pushed it away. He did not want his life to change again not yet. He did not love Itzama, even though the man was handsome, kind and devoted. It was pointless to fall in love, because Flick knew that they would not be together for long. With experimentation, they had devised ways to enjoy physical intimacy, but it was not aruna. Itzama derived more pleasure from it than Flick did. Despite this, they had a companionable relations.h.i.+p and there was an easiness between them that Flick had not experienced before.

Itzama never revealed his background, and Flick often wondered whether he was an outcast and had committed a crime. He could not imagine why else such a sociable creature would choose to live alone. On the night of visions, he'd spoken briefly and vaguely about having been called to this place, but he would not expand upon it. He'd implied he wasn't quite human, but Flick saw no evidence to the contrary. There was definitely a secret, but on the few occasions Flick tried to press the matter the best time, he discovered, was after s.e.x Itzama was not merely vague. It seemed as if he himself didn't know the answers. Maybe, he'd suffered an injury in the past that had affected his memory. One time he said, 'When you leave, then I will go too,' and Flick thought, not without discomfort, that Itzama meant to accompany him. He knew that one day he would have to return to the world of Wraeththu in one way or another and he couldn't take Itzama there, not as a human.

'You would have to be incepted,' he said, rather abruptly, and Itzama stared at him with a confused expression on his face.

'No,' he said at last. 'I didn't mean that. When you leave this place, I will leave it too, because I think you are the only thing that anchors me here.'

'Where will you go?'