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"Wait, listen. Jocasta is here, down there, waiting for you."
I looked over into the sea of fog, seeing nothing much more than a few feet of wall under the balcony. "Down there?"
"Hush, dammit," he hissed. "Yes."
I swung one leg over the balcony and lost my balance. I would have fallen if he had not held me.
"Wait. I have rope." He swiftly looped it around me and expertly tied it so that it was snug under my arms. "Now try." I did. I was barely over the edge before I lost my grip and fell. I didn't realize I was in danger so didn't make a sound. I heard the rope slipping through his fingers harshly, then I jerked to a stop. After that I descended more smoothly, swinging around in a slow circle and feeling sick and dizzy, seeing nothing but the fog and occasional flashes of wall.
I couldn't wait to see her. I had to tell her something important; what was it though? Her loupe! d.a.m.n, I'd lost her loupe! She was going to go crazy at me. I started climbing the rope. I had to go get it back. It didn't work very well, Sapphire was lowering me faster than I could climb, and I couldn't climb worth a d.a.m.n; my feet touched the ground and a second later the rope fell out of the air on top of me. "d.a.m.n, d.a.m.n, d.a.m.n!" I growled, quietly. I didn't want her to hear me.
"Hush, Sumto."
She'd heard me.
I looked around. She wore white and almost blended into the fog, just her dark hair standing out around her pale face. Big green eyes met mine and held me spellbound.
"I'm sorry!" I blurted.
"Shussh," She raised her hand and there was a flash of non-light so fast I couldn't see it. I caught a glimpse of a stone that must have been eighty carats.
"I lost your loupe, they took it." To my amazement, I couldn't hear myself speak. I hesitated a second, then laughed. It was bizarre, not a sound. I could feel the movement, knew I was laughing, but couldn't hear it. "What did you do?" I wasn't deaf, it was just that the sound made no sound. I stamped my foot to test the theory and sure enough, my shoes rang on the cobbles. Jocasta grabbed my arm and my attention. She really did have the biggest green eyes ever. "I've missed you," I said and tried to hug her.
"Sumto," she hissed, "you're drunk."
I nodded earnestly, remembering something important. I leaned back and shouted up to Sapphire. "Bring the beer!"
d.a.m.n, he wouldn't hear me. I gave Jocasta a little shake, pointed up and then made a drinking motion, my hand gripping an invisible gla.s.s.
I have never seen anyone flush with anger quite that quickly. I watched the process, fascinated. "You're mad at me, aren't you."
"You are a drunken fool, just like my father said."
Under the circ.u.mstances, I think that was a bit harsh.
The three of us walked through the fog in near silence, only my shoes echoing on the cobbles. They both wore soft slippers, I saw, looking down and nearly losing my balance. Sapphire grabbed my arm and steered me after that. I was grateful. Walking in a straight line was nearly impossible. Was impossible. I was very drunk indeed. It was only the shock of seeing them that had induced in me a false lucidity, a temporary sobriety. I was noticing things, but not much, and not rationally, and I knew it. The two dead guards at the gate, for example. I saw them but couldn't tell who they were. A third walked out of the fog and I lurched toward him, arms wide, ready to hug him. He caught me and held me up.
"You stink of booze," Meran said. "Just like the old days."
"No! It's not my fault!" I didn't make a sound. It had been funny at first, but now it was frustrating. My emotions wavered from one extreme to another and I recognized the syndrome.
"Let's get you home," He tucked one arm round my waist, just like the old days, and we staggered on together, heading home. Where-ever and what-ever home might be now.
"How did you survive?"
"What? Can't hear you."
"I silenced him, he was being a buffoon. We were trying to rescue him and he was... was ..."
"Being drunk?" Meran supplied.
"Do we have to talk?" Sapphire asked in the quietest voice I have ever heard anyone use and still sound like they are shouting.
"I can, no one can hear me."
No one answered. But then, what had I expected? No one could hear me.
We walked on in a fog of m.u.f.fled sounds for what seemed a long time. I was tired. I wanted to sleep. I said so. No one listened. I tried to sit down and Meran wouldn't let me. I was almost used to his ministrations. He had helped me home several times when I had been a drunk in truth, and he had the knack of it. He talked to me, softly, not angry, encouraging, urging me on. It seemed to take a long time. I either pa.s.sed out on the way or I just don't remember the rest. It's hard to say. It always was.
I woke up in a small living room, covered by an eiderdown, warm and snug and with a cracking head. I stared about, bleary eyed and confused. Where was I? How did I get here? There was only one way to find out.
Getting up was work and I nearly gave up and tried to go back to sleep, but my bladder was uncomfortably full and my mouth felt like a cat had slept in it. No way I was going to sleep. There were two doors, both open. One led to a kitchen, the other to a short corridor with other rooms. It was a small, poky, damp-smelling house and I wasn't impressed. I went through the kitchen and opened a back door, then closed it rapidly.
We were still in the city. Not good. Still, my bladder was insistent.
The door opened on to a small, wooden landing with steps down to an alley. I took a leak over the side of the steps and went back in as soon as I could. No one saw me.
Beer. The thought nagged insistently. Take away the taste of yesterday's drinking, start the taste of today's effort. There wasn't any beer. "d.a.m.n." There was water in a bucket. I drank some and my stomach hated me for it. Still, it was all there was. I took a gla.s.s back to bed, sipped it as I sat there alone for a while. Then I curled up and tried to go back to sleep. It was early. No one was up. Why should I be surprised?
I was hardly safe, and now less comfortable. And there was no beer, dammit. Wine would have done. Anything. How do people live in a house with no booze in it? I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, but there was no choice. I had nothing to sell. It took a while, but eventually I slept.
The next time I woke, Sapphire was sitting in a chair opposite. I looked at him across a cheap table.
"You need a bath," he told me. "There's hot water."
"I need a beer." I sat up.
"Bath first." His expression was unreadable.
"Beer first."
"There isn't any."
"Get some." He didn't say anything. I was desperate for a drink. "Dammit, get me a beer."
"No." He got up and left, heading for the kitchen. "He's awake."
Jocasta stuck her head through the door, took in my state and disappeared again.
After a moment I gathered myself and followed. I was surprised to see Dubaku sitting at the kitchen table. "How did you survive?"
"My ancestors hid me, s.h.i.+elded me from view. I walked away."
"Could they do that for me?"
"Ask your own ancestors."
"After I get a drink. Does anyone have any money?"
Sapphire closed the door and put his back against it. The message was clear. You are going nowhere.
"The exit is that way," I pointed to the door into the alley. He didn't say anything, but a moment later Jocasta was there, her mouth a thin line, eyes holding some expression I couldn't be bothered to figure out.
"Look, I told you." I had, I remembered. "They gave me a drug. Not addictive in itself but it makes me vulnerable to addiction, and believe me when I say I need a drink; not want, I do not want a drink; I need one. I know I told you this." I was shaking and ashamed to notice that my voice broke. They exchanged a glance and I took the moment to un.o.btrusively grab the back of a chair. I was a little unsteady on my feet. Weak and shaky.
"You weren't very coherent," Jocasta's voice was cool. "You could have been saying anything."
I sighed, got control of my anger. "I'll recap later. For now, just get me something to drink, or I won't be fit for anything."
Dubaku got up and crossed the kitchen. Sapphire moved for him and he left the room, returning moments later. He put a beer in front of me without a word. I grabbed it and took a pull. Made a face. Swallowed. Took another. Better.
"What are you doing?" Jocasta protested, stepping to the table.
"We are going to have to help him if he is telling the truth," Dubaku said.
"I never lie. Too lazy," I said. I kept the beer in my hand, protectively, sipping at it.
"You don't kill a fire by adding fuel." She tried to take my drink and I slapped her hand away.
"Get off! I need this. If I'd known you were going to argue about it I would have stayed there."
Everyone was silent for a moment. Well, Sapphire, leaning against the kitchen door, hadn't said a word the whole time. Just watched.
"You're joking," Jocasta said, her voice uncertain.
"Yes, I am, but not by much, believe me. The addiction is strong. I need booze. It's going to happen and it might be better if we didn't have to fight over it the whole time."
"How much?"
"As little as I can manage."
Everyone fell silent, watching me drink. I changed the subject. "They took the loupe, and the stone you sent me. I'm sorry."
She dismissed the matter with an irritated wave of her hand. "It doesn't matter. I can make another loupe."
"You can?"
"Yes," she said icily, "I can"
"That's..." there was only one word. "Impressive."
She thought I didn't believe her. Looking around angrily she spied a small gla.s.s, took one step and s.n.a.t.c.hed it up. It was a moment only, an invisible flash, like sheet lightning on a summer's day. The stone, brilliant blue and the size of a quail's egg, was in her hand again. She tossed the gla.s.s to me and I fumbled it. The crack of it breaking sounded loud in the silent room.
"It's not important. I can make another."
"How did you learn?"
"One of my ancestors made a tunnel from our house to the college of battle mages. I found it when I was a girl and sneaked in. I was curious. It led to an unused study. That's where I found the loupe. There were other things. I learned. Later, I found ways into other colleges. The more I learned the more I wanted it."
"And the stone?" I gestured to the ma.s.sive stone she still held.
"I stole it from my family so that I could come and get you."
"Thank you." It seemed inadequate. Clearly she felt so too.
I sighed. "Much as I hate to contradict you, it is important; the loupe, I mean. He has it, and twenty stones up to ten carats, and they are learning from the battle mages."
She frowned, her brows furrowed. "The mages are teaching them? Willingly?"
"As willingly as I would have," I said dryly.
I briefly put my face in my beer. No one seemed to want to move the conversation along so I did. "They tortured them. Some cracked early, one or two have embraced their ideas. Some I don't know about for sure. I lost track of them. But I don't doubt they will all break one way or another, some time or another. These are very persuasive men."
"And you?" She asked.
"Apparently I'm not very persuasive at all."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know that's not what you meant. Stop talking to me like I'm a fool and stop thinking like one. Of course they tortured me but we don't have to talk about it. It didn't work. This would have," I raised the gla.s.s. "Or something worse. All they had to do was slip some opiate into my food once and I would have been hooked. I think this is better, I'm used to controlling it."
"They tortured you?" Her eyes were wide, horrified.
"No, they gave me a big hug and said I was such a nice chap they'd decided to supply me with beer instead. Can we drop this?" I stuck my face in the drink and drained it, slamming it down on the table. "More."
"No." Sapphire raised a hand to forestall Dubaku, who had started to rise. "You said you can control it."
"I can but I'm a little upset at the moment! Later it will be easier. I've been drinking a lot. I lost focus. Now I'm back. There are things to do. But for now, another one would help."
Dubaku had got to his feet anyway, as though he had some other reason to move. Sapphire nodded and moved away from the door to let him out and back, then leaned against it again. I'd taken the opportunity to make myself comfortable and when there was drink in front of me I focused my attention on it, deciding how slowly I thought I could drink it, wondering how well I could control the craving for more. I sighed and my stomach chose then to growl. I ignored it as I sipped the beer, careful to take just a sip. I felt on safer ground now. Less emotional.
"When did you eat last?" she said.
"I don't know. Days. Ten. More. When was the battle?"
She and Sapphire exchanged glances. "Eighteen days ago."
"That would be it then. More or less. Who remembers?" I glanced down at my flat belly. "One way to lose weight, I guess."
"G.o.ds," she whispered. "I'll fix you something."
"Not too much. I doubt I could eat much."