Underestimated Part 55

"Tran, tranq, tranquit.i.ty," Caroline paused, trying to sound out a word.

"Tranquility," my mom, said helping her out.

"What's that mean?" she asked, looking up to her.

"It means quiet, calmness, stillness," she answered.

"Oh, like peace. That makes sense," she decided and got back to her reading.

I loved the affectionate look in my mother's eyes as she stared at me. She really was happy that I was there.

She read the next chapter and then I read the next. I had actually started getting into the book when my chapter was over. It was about a ten year old boy and an eight year old girl, lost on an island.

Caroline and I both lay down, and my mom tucked her and kissed her on the head.

"I love you," she said.

"Love you too, mom."

I wasn't sure how to react to my mother's affection when she did the same thing to me. She pulled my quilt up and kissed me on the head just like she had Caroline. She brushed my hair from my forehead and kissed me too.

"I love you, Morgan, and I am so glad that you are here."

"Me too," I said. I couldn't make myself tell her that I loved her too. I could only remember her saying it once in my life, and that was when she left me. I wasn't ready to say that just yet.

I woke to Caroline shaking me in the morning.

"Morgan, come on. It's day light," she said, trying to coax me out of bed.

I opened my eyes and realized where I was. I stumbled to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, pulled on a pair of shorts, and a tank top. She wasn't lying. It was daylight... barely. I slipped on my flip-flops and followed her out.

We walked way down the beach, at least a mile and a half. She wanted to start as far south as we could go and then slowly make our way back. We searched the many piles of pebbles, rocks and sh.e.l.ls washed up from the previous night's storm. I found a piece right away. It was the most common, Kelly green, but it was still a nice piece. We were moving like a couple of snails, searching for our treasures. I still couldn't see the house, and I wanted coffee. Little Ms. Caroline on the other hand was engrossed and wasn't about to pick up her dawdling pace.

She was on a mission.

We were almost back to the house by the time Caroline finally found a piece. I was so hoping that she did. She looked so b.u.mmed because she hadn't found anything. She found a rather rare piece. It was lime green, and I listened to her explain to me that it was probably from a soda bottle from the sixties. I already knew what she was telling me, but didn't dare put a damper on her enthusiasm.

Our mother was getting worried by the time we finally made it back to the house four hours later. I felt tired, and could have used a nap. She poured me a cup of coffee and had to make Caroline sit down long enough to eat something. One of the guests was surfing and wanted her to come. She didn't want to eat. She wanted to go play.

She scarfed down the egg sandwich and was off.

Jason kissed my mom and left too. She explained that he always stayed near by without her knowing when she ran off to surf. He worried about her being in the hands of strangers, she explained with a smile.

My ten minute visit to tell my mother what I had thought about her leaving her kids to go create a better life for herself had turned into six weeks. I didn't want to leave. I liked bunking with Caroline, and we had started the second book in the Lost, series. I still had not heard one word from Drew or Dawson. I liked being there, pretending that I was a little girl in a real family. I knew that I couldn't continue the charade for much longer, although I was sure that my mother and Caroline would have loved for me to do just that. I had to get back to life.

My life. Whatever that was.

It was looking like I would be finding a place to plant my roots alone. I was pretty sure that I was okay with that. I needed a fresh start. My mother's success had made me feel like it was okay not to choose either one of the men that I loved. Maybe I would find a man that loved me as much as Jason loved her, and I would eventually have a little girl as neat as Caroline.

I may be doing that sooner than planned. I was freaking out one evening, pacing back and forth on the deck.

"Hey, you okay?" my mom asked, coming to join me.

"I don't think that I am," I said running my fingers through my hair.

"Go play for a little bit, honey," my mom told Caroline when she came skipping around the other side.

"What's going on, Morgan?" she asked.

"I'm late," I stated.

"Oh, boy. How late are you?"

"Three days."

"That's not a lot," she tried to make me feel better.

"It is for me. I'm never later." This couldn't be happening right now. I was on the pill. I never missed a pill, and I never missed a period. I would take my mother's advice and feed myself to the sharks if I was pregnant.

"Do you want to go into town and get a test?" she asked.

"No. That's going to make it real," I a.s.sured her.

She smiled. "Would this baby be Drew's or the sheriffs?"

I shook my head. My mother was going to deem me a cheating s.l.u.t without ever knowing the truth. "I couldn't even begin to pinpoint it. I slept with Drew the Friday before I came here and Dawson the very next day."

"I'm not going to judge you, Morgan," she said as though she was reading my mind. "I had three kids from three different fathers. Caroline was the only one that was conceived with the man I was married to."

I snapped my head to her. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"The drunken, low life father that you grew up with isn't Justin's real dad either," she admitted.

"He isn't?"

She shook her head. "His dad was a trucker, Mad Dog," she added. I was sure she didn't know his real name. "I don't think your dad was able to have kids. You were seven by the time I had Justin, and I had never used any form of birth control. I slept with a trucker once and got pregnant."

"Did he know?"

"He suspected, but I never admitted to it."

"Oh G.o.d, mom. I can't be pregnant. What the h.e.l.l am I going to do?"

"Let's go to town," she coaxed.

Caroline pouted because her dad told her that she had to stay with him. I promised her that I would do something fun with her later. That satisfied her, but she still wanted to go along.

I rode with my head against the cool gla.s.s of my BMW. My mother drove. I didn't mind, I was having a nervous breakdown. I was having a hard enough time reminding myself to breathe. My mother tried to console me, but it wasn't working. I knew with everything in me that I was pregnant. I just had a feeling. Going to buy a pregnancy test was pointless. I knew it with everything in me.

Jason took Caroline out to the beach to look for sea gla.s.s so that we could have some privacy. I knew my mother told him what was going on. I didn't mind. I was glad that she told him everything. That's the way it should be.

"What does the one line mean again?" I called out from the bathroom.

"It means you're not pregnant. A plus sign means that you are," my mom called back.

f.u.c.king A...

I breathed the biggest sigh of relief when I saw the one negative line come into clear view of the little window. I don't think I had ever been so happy in my life.

I opened the bathroom door and showed my mother the evidence. She hugged me, happy that I was happy. I wanted a baby. I just wanted to be living with its father and know who he was.

I spent the better part of the afternoon in the hot shed with Caroline and Jason. We made gla.s.s lit bottles to display our sea gla.s.s. I had to laugh at Caroline holding her iPad, giving her dad instructions from the pin that she had found on Pinterest.

Our mother came to the door around six. Caroline and I were sitting at a work bench with our backs to the door, pus.h.i.+ng the tiny strands of lights through the holes that Jason had drilled for us. I knew she would want us to come and eat soon.

"Morgan, you have a visitor," she spoke from the door.

I turned, seeing the most beautiful man in the entire world standing beside her. I wanted to throw myself at him. No. I wanted to f.u.c.k him. The sight of him sent a quivering sensation straight to my attention deficit disorder v.a.g.i.n.a.

"Well, come here," Drew finally said, pulling me from my frozen stool position. I smiled, slid off the stool and right into his arms.

"Hey, baby," he said in my hair. I could feel his smile.

"Hi," I said, pulling away, knowing that nosey Caroline was staring with her curious little eyes.

I introduced him to my mom and Jason, and Caroline took it upon herself to offer her name.

"I'm Caroline," she said offering her hand. "You must be Drew, I've heard a lot about you." What? Little liar, I never talked to her about Drew. I looked at her like she had two heads.

"You talk in your sleep....a lot," she added. s.h.i.+t...

that could be bad.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Caroline," Drew said with a smile, taking her little hand into his large one.

"Come, let's eat," my mother demanded.

"We're not finished yet," Caroline protested.

"We can finish them tomorrow," I a.s.sured her. I didn't want to play with Caroline anymore. I wanted to play with Drew.

We ate on the deck with the guests and were served by the help. We all had a gla.s.s of wine with our steaks. I wanted a cold beer. The wine tasted bitter to me.

I didn't drink mine.

Drew and I stared across the table at each other, constantly.

"Did you just come for a visit," I asked, cutting into my too done steak.

"No. I came to take you back to Vegas with me."

My eyebrows rose. "Really?"

His face got serious. "Mr. Callaway pa.s.sed away yesterday."

"Oh," I said. I wasn't sure what to say. I mean I was sad and grateful that he saw me as his only family and was leaving me all of his worldly possessions, but I really didn't know the guy.

"My car is here," I stated. I didn't know what else to say.

"We'll fly back and get it. We need to fly out tomorrow for the funeral."

There were no vacant rooms. Drew and I had to sleep on the pull out couch at my mom's place. I couldn't take it. Lying in his arms, fully clothed was killing me. I wanted him naked on top of my nakedness. I didn't dare though. I knew how thin the walls were. I had lain in bed many mornings, listening to my mom tell Jason how happy she was that I was there.

"I didn't think you were going to stay here for six months," Drew quietly said as his fingers tormented me.

Not really. He was only tracing my arm with his fingers, but still. I wanted him tracing other parts of my body.

"I guess I was just trying to run away. Escape," I replied.

"How's that working out for you?"

"It was actually working out pretty d.a.m.ned good until you showed up."

"And Dawson?"

"I haven't talked to him either. We had a fight before I left. You both decided to give me my s.p.a.ce at the same time."

"You had a fight? Why?"

"What do you think," I said, stating the obvious.

"Me?"

"Yup."

"We talked about you the night that he gave me a lift. I can see how you like him. He seems to be a good guy."

I snorted at him saying like. I didn't like Dawson. I loved him. Drew knew that. He just wasn't able to say it out loud.

Drew and I talked for a long time. I told him all about my mom, and everything that she had confessed to me. He had already known a lot of it, like the pictures that she was sent periodically.

Mother f.u.c.ker. f.u.c.king, lying son of a b.i.t.c.h.

I looked straight at my mom when I finally quit heaving enough to rejoin the rest of them for breakfast the following morning. She knew. She knew what I knew. The stupid little stick that I had p.i.s.sed on, lied. I was pregnant.

I knew I was. She knew it too and smiled a warm, motherly smile.