Ice Planet Barbarians: Barbarian's Redemption Part 12

Vektal's expression is soft as he watches his daughter and then grows neutral as he looks to me again. "Ell-ee chose to stay with you?" His words are mild, but I know the question behind them-am I pus.h.i.+ng her to stay because I want it, not because she wants it?

I feel a flare of irritation but push it aside. He is simply being chief. "It is true." I switch to sa-khui instead of the human English and tell my chief of Ell-ee and Erevair's appearances and Ell-ee's collapse. When his expression grows concerned, I explain to him her lack of eating and her strange mannerisms. How she will only eat after I have taken a bite. "Something has wounded her mind greatly in the past," I tell him.

He nods slowly, expression thoughtful. "Shors.h.i.+e said she worried as much. They saw some terrible things when they were taken, and she says bad things might have been done to Ell-ee. That when the others take slaves, they do not treat them like people."

I frown at this. How else would they be treated? It is something I still do not understand. "Ell-ee is safe with me," I tell him. "I know she is slow to trust, and I want her to have as much time as she needs."

"Even with resonance?" my chief asks, arms crossing over his chest.

"Even so."

He studies me. "I believe you...and I am glad you are being reasonable."

I scowl at his words. "Why would I not be reasonable?"

"Why would I trust you to listen to reason after what you have done, Bek?" Vektal rubs a hand on his jaw and looks tired. "If you wanted a mate so badly, why did you not tell me of your plans? So we could work out the best possible way to handle it with the homeworlders?"

I clamp my jaw shut. I did not ask him because I knew he would say no. "I wanted a mate, and I did not care the consequences."

"Exactly. The moment a mate is a possibility, every male in my tribe loses their heads." He throws his hands up in the air. "What am I to do as your leader? Let you upset half the tribe with your actions? Do as you please even if it causes harm?"

"You were right to have the tribe shun me," I tell him. "Though I think it is a stupid punishment, you had to do something." I have had many days to think about this. If he had not exiled me, perhaps he would be chasing down Taushen, Harrec, Warrek and Vaza after they had stolen females. If there were no rules, none of the females were safe. "You did what you felt was necessary."

Vektal just stares at me. Then he moves forward and puts his hand on my brow.

I jerk away. "What are you doing?"

"Are you fevered? Where is this reasonable Bek coming from?" He tries to touch my brow again.

I slap at his hands. "He is about to stick a spear up your nethers."

He just grins at me, dropping his hands to his sides. "You did a good thing, retrieving Erevair. It almost makes up for your actions with the females. Almost. Have you decided to apologize yet?"

I still think demanding an apology is foolishness, but if it will make the tribe happy, I will do so just to quiet them. "Not yet," I tell him. At his surprised look, I add, "Not because I am unwilling, but because I wish to spend some time alone with my Ell-ee. Perhaps if we are away from the tribe a bit longer, she will learn to trust me."

Vektal nods slowly. "And perhaps resonance will be fulfilled?"

The idea seems so very far away from where we are right now. He does not realize how much of a gift it is simply to feel the touch of Ell-ee's hand. Mating with her seems as close as the stars themselves. "I am prepared to wait."

He claps a hand on my shoulder. "That is a good answer, my friend." He glances over and calls out, "Talie, come. We are leaving."

A moment later, Talie skips out of the cave, all bouncing curls and swis.h.i.+ng furs. "I am ready, Papa!"

Vektal holds his hand out. "How is Ell-ee?"

Clever chief, to send his little daughter in so I cannot protest, and so Ell-ee will not be scared. "She is stinky," Talie says cheerfully. "But I saw her smile."

I am hit with a furious bolt of envy at that. Ell-ee smiled...and I was not there to see it.

Vektal nods again. "Good. Come, we will set some traps and see what we can catch, yes?" At her happy nod, Vektal raises a hand to me. "Return when you are ready, my friend."

I nod, arms crossed over my chest as I watch my chief and his daughter leave. Then I turn back to the cave. Ell-ee is there waiting for me in the entryway, my spear in her hands.

And I am filled with pride and joy at the sight of her. I will get her smiles soon enough. I can be patient until then.

10.

BEK.

ONE WEEK LATER.

"Eat," I tell Ell-ee. "You have only had three cakes this morning." I take a bite out of the cake in my hand-cake number four-and then hold it out to her.

She bares her teeth at me in a mock snarl, but takes the cake from me anyway and eats it with slow, reluctant bites, her look mutinous.

I just smile, pleased. Every chance I get, I push food into Ell-ee's hands. I make sure she eats several times a day, and I watch which meals she prefers to see what I should feed her next. It seems that my mate enjoys fresh meat-and unlike most humans, will eat it raw-and so we go hunting every day to ensure she has good food for her belly that night.

My mate still does not talk much, but she is becoming more relaxed with me. Now, when I push too much, she does not flinch. She lets me know her displeasure. She sleeps fitfully sometimes, but she has not tried to run, and she eats everything...as long as I take a bite out of it first. The hollow look is slowly fading from her eyes, and it seems to me that she is already putting on weight, which makes me happy. If she were as plump as Mah-dee, I would be greatly pleased. Mah-dee is very healthy and strong. Even as I think this, though, I do not care if she remains as small and fragile as she is, as long as she is healthy.

I am learning my mate's personality, too. She loves the outdoors. Snow does not deter her, nor does a sudden storm. If anything, I think she likes the bad weather more than the good. She loves a high breeze, she loves the sun on her face, and more than anything, she loves the stars at night. Sometimes she wanders out of the front of the cave and sits in the entryway just so she can gaze up at the stars. I join her, just to be at her side. To me, they are nothing but lights in the sky, but she can stare at them for hours.

Even more pleasing, my Ell-ee loves to go hunting. She is not good with a spear, but she loves to walk for hours and take the trails with me. She is patient, and her hands delicate, and she has learned to set some of the easier snares. I am proud of how clever she is, how willing to learn. I enjoy the company, too. She walks at my side tirelessly through the day, though at night she is quick to fall asleep, exhausted. She is smart when it comes to hunting, as well, staying out of the way when an animal flees, or handing me the right weapon when I must change tactics at a moment's notice.

We make a good team, if a quiet one. I do not even mind the quiet, either. The excited flush in her cheeks and her bright eyes when we take down a kill? That tells me everything.

Resonance is...difficult, however. With every day that pa.s.ses, the urge to mate grows stronger and my lovely, delicate mate more difficult to resist. I still have not touched Ell-ee as I would like. Sometimes when she is having a bad dream, I will slip my hand into hers and she will cling to it until she falls back asleep. Other than the occasional brush of fingers, I have not touched her more.

I have not touched myself, either, and that is proving even more difficult.

As a hunter with no mate, I am used to taking myself in hand and giving my c.o.c.k a quick tug until the worst of the tension is gone. But the cave we share is small, and Ell-ee skittish as a dvisti kit. I cannot imagine her expression if she were to wake up to find me with my hands shoved into my loincloth. Would she be aroused? Scared? I do not know, and I will not leave her side for longer than a moment, so I endure my c.o.c.k's endless ache and tell myself that this is what I have dreamed of for so long. I have waited season upon season for a mate. Now that she is here, I can surely wait a few days longer.

My mind is willing, but my c.o.c.k aches at the thought.

I watch Ell-ee to see if she feels the same gnawing ache that I do, but if she does, she makes no sign of it. Her hands never stray to her c.u.n.t or her teats, she does not watch me with hot eyes, and her sleep is regular when it is not interrupted by nightmares.

Patience, I remind myself. It has only been days.

But they are both the longest and shortest days I have ever endured, the most difficult and the most rewarding.

On this particular day, the weather is fine and so we are going hunting once more. The cache closest to the cave is full, but I have nothing else to do with my time save feed my mate and my tribe, so I am working on filling another cache. With everything we do, I explain it to my silent mate: why we freeze more kills than we bring home, why we sc.r.a.pe the hides, why we collect dvisti dung chips for fuel. She absorbs all of this information with a blink of her big eyes and a small nod to tell me she understands. And she picks up on things readily.

My Ell-ee is clever.

Because the cache is full, we have set our traps farther out from the valley itself, over the next rise. It means a long walk both coming and going, but I think Ell-ee enjoys it. She closes her eyes and turns her face up to the sunlight every chance she gets, and the beauty of her makes my c.o.c.k surge.

It makes walking...difficult.

If Ell-ee notices my arousal, though, she says nothing. Her attention is completely focused on the world around us rather than me, and I am envious of the attention she gives a herd of dvisti in the distance, or the tracks of a quill-beast left in the snow. She enjoys everything, even the most menial of tasks. Hunting can be exciting, but much of the time it is walking familiar trails and checking traps. Often they are empty and must be set again, but Ell-ee enjoys this, too. She moves forward to each trap and resets them carefully and skillfully, glancing up at me for approval.

My mate learns fast. I nod approval, proud of her. She could do this by herself, I think, given a bit more time and confidence. But I would rather us do it together. She keeps me company, and I protect her. It works well.

Most of the traps we have set for this day are intended to catch hoppers. There is not much meat to each of the spindly-legged creatures, but my mate enjoys their taste, and so I will catch them for her. Hoppers One trap in particular is set near one of the hot streams that crisscross the snowy landscape like veins. Many of the animals we catch for food come near the waters to drink, and so it is a logical place for traps. However, it is clear that when we approach this one, our prey has gotten away. The snare itself-made of braided cord-has been dragged away to the water's edge, mud smeared all over the snow from the creature's fight with the trap's tight noose. Tracks are scattered everywhere, and there seems to be hot, thick mud on everything.

I grab one end of the cord and pull it free from the sludge, making a sound of disgust. I throw it back down again and wipe my hands. Not only is it covered in mud, but I am certain there is fresh dung in there as well. "Cleaning cord is not how I wanted to spend the rest of my day."

Ell-ee makes a small noise of acknowledgment and picks up the end of the cord, looping it around her arm, ignoring the mud that spreads up her leathers.

"Leave it," I tell her.

She ignores me, continuing to pick up the cord. "Just dirt," she tells me.

I want to tell her that the filth has ruined it, but I also do not wish to hurt her feelings in case she thinks it is a comment aimed at her. So I say nothing, watching as she steps into the mud to gather more cord. Her boots make a squis.h.i.+ng noise on the banks, and she lifts the cord again, frowning as she realizes it is stuck on a bit of rock near the river bank. She knows not to go near the water because of the dangerous face-eaters, and I watch her give the cord a hard shake, and then a tug.

"Let me do it," I tell her, moving forward.

Ell-ee gives it another fierce tug. Before I can make it to her side, she loses her footing and falls on her back with a loud SPLAT.

"Ell-ee!" I shout, rus.h.i.+ng to her side. I skid in the mud myself and flop onto the ground next to her in a mess of limbs. "Ugh." I lift my tail from the mire and let it flick back to the ground, beyond irritated.

My tail slaps at the mud and more dirt flicks onto my face.

Ell-ee raises up on her elbows, eyes wide. She looks at me. Blinks.

And laughs.

The sound is small and shy, as if she is reluctant to make such a noise out loud but cannot help herself.

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I stare at my Ell-ee in wonder. She giggles again and then flops back down into the mud, laughing. This is the first time I have seen her laugh, or smile, and I am entranced. A small chuckle escapes me. Her sheer joy is infectious. "You should have let me get the cord," I tell her.

Ell-ee gives another snorting little laugh and grabs a handful of mud, and then splats it right onto my nose.

I stare at her, shocked.

She recoils a little, her expression uncertain. As if she's somehow done something wrong and will be punished. Seeing that fear on her face makes my heart hurt, and I want to make it disappear forever. I lift my tail from the mud again and flick it in her direction. "You think that is funny?" I say, keeping my voice light and teasing.

Her face is covered in spatters a moment later and she gives a delighted little shriek. The tension is gone from her shoulders and she's laughing as she grabs another handful of mud and smashes it into my mane. I mock-growl and flick her again, then grab a handful of mud myself. I will never toss it on her, but I will play this game. I will just let her win.

The mud fight goes on for a few more handfuls, and then Ell-ee flops back down into the mud again, breathless. Her teeth are bright white on her muddy face and her mane is nothing but stringy filth plastered to her head. I love the sight of it. I do not care that she is covered in mud-and possibly dung-and layers of dirt from her past. If she let me, I would kiss her all over in this moment. "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," I tell her, unable to resist smiling myself.

Ell-ee's laughter fades slowly, but her smile remains. "Too much dirt," she admits shyly after a moment, sitting up and wiping at her leather-covered arms. Her clothes are soaked with muck and sticking to her. She glances at the nearby stream and shudders at the sight of all of the thin, long tubes lining the sh.o.r.e. She knows as well as I do that a face-eater is on the end of each one.

"I have no soap-berries with me," I tell her. "We can melt snow and wash back at the cave." My mind fills with images of helping her bathe, running my wet hands along her soft skin and touching her all over. I have to bite back my groan of need, my khui singing an urgent song.

She bites her lip, considering. Her hands sc.r.a.pe along her muddy sleeves again.

"Are you afraid?" I ask, getting to my feet. I slip a little, my boots unable to find traction in the mud, but I manage to right myself and then offer her a hand up.

Ell-ee considers my hand. "Safe?" she asks after a moment.

I sense there is more to that question. Safe to take my hand? Safe to bathe? Is that why she never washes? Because it is safer in her eyes? Is her stink a form of protection? Armor?

My chest hurts at the thought. I nod at her. "Safe."

No matter how much my khui wants it, I will not touch her. She must want it first.

ELLY.

A mud fight.

I'm still smiling over it, even if the clinging, smelly mud makes the walk back to the cave bitterly cold and uncomfortable. The warm mud cools right away, and by the time we make it back into the valley, my clothes are frozen and stiff and walking is difficult. My teeth chatter with cold until Bek suggests he carry me so I can put my hands inside his vest and share his warmth. I practically fling myself into his arms, shoving my hands under his clothing. In the last few days, I've gotten over my fear of Bek. He doesn't grab, or yell, and he's always very careful with me. I trust him, and I don't think twice about launching myself against him and letting him carry me.

My hands find his skin, and it's like I've found a personal s.p.a.ce heater. G.o.d, he is warm. So very, very warm. I moan with relief and clutch at his hard, muscular abdomen, trying to leach his warmth into my own body.

I peek up at his face, and his teeth are gritted, his eyes little more than slits. "Sorry," I whisper, wondering if he's mad that I'm making him cold, or at the mud.

His mouth pulls down into a little frown as he glances down at me, and I stiffen. "You have mud on your nose," is all he says.

I wrinkle my nose, trying to free it without removing my hands from his warm body.

"I think you also have mud in your nose," he points out.

"Gonna have to stay," I tell him, and burrow down closer against his warmth, relieved he's not mad.

Bek chuckles and pulls me a little closer. "It can stay."

My teeth are chattering hard by the time we get to the cave, but then we're out of the wind and it's not so bad. Bek sets me gently on my feet and fixes the screen over the cave entrance, then makes a fire lickety-split. When it's blazing warmth, I move forward and put my hands out.

"Eh?" he says, sounding disapproving.