Aftershock. Part 16

usually:.

Mentions one of his own that is worse than yours.

Tells you how to handle it.

Avoids you.

a.s.sumes that you are strong enough to cope with it alone.

Offers to discuss it with you-and supports your decision.

4. When you meet a man and he says he'll call, he: Calls the next day, and every day thereafter.

Calls but seems too busy to talk.

Doesn't call.

Calls at midnight and asks if he can come over.

Calls when he says he'll call.

5. When you're with a man and there are other women around, he: Is oblivious to them.

Notices them, flirts a little, but tries to protect your feelings.

Flirts incessantly and dashes from woman to woman.

Talks about how attractive the other women are.

Is friendly with them but not disrespectful to you.

6. After you've had s.e.x, a man often: Needs to talk to you or be with you.

Becomes possessive.

Rolls over, goes to sleep, and/or never calls you again.

Forgets your name.

Treats you the same as before.

7. When you call men you're interested in, they usually: Love it and encourage you to call.

Make it clear that they are supposed to call you.

Act too busy to talk or rush you off the phone.

Say they'll call you right back and don't.

Act the same as when they call you.

8. In arguments, the men you date: Give in and do it your way.

Make you believe their way is right and yours is wrong.

Let you have your way but hold a grudge.

Ignore your point of view.

Negotiate.

9. When a man you're involved with has a problem, he: Talks about it incessantly and wants your advice.

Makes his problem seem insignificant in comparison to yours.

Says, "What problem?"

Pretends it's your problem.

Tells you he's upset but lets you know he can handle it himself.

10. When you cry, the men in your life often: Cry too.

Are like putty in your hands and will do anything for you.

Withdraw.

Don't take you seriously.

Understand but aren't manipulated by your tears.

11. When you first meet a man, he: Reveals himself but asks little about you.

Wants to know all about you but reveals little of himself.

Comes on strong, then peters out after a few dates.

Doesn't tell you much about himself or ask much about you.

Tells you about himself and wants to know about you.

12. Usually, a man's first priority is: Being in love.

Working and making money.

His buddies, or exercise and sports.

Anything except you.

Maintaining a balance between you and his career and other interests.

13. Most men give you: Their emotions but not their money.

Their money but not their emotions.

Everything, at first, and nothing later.

Nothing.

Both their money and their emotions, and expect you to do the same.

14. When the men you know become upset or angry, they often: Talk about the problem but do nothing about it.

Handle it themselves without letting you know they are upset.

Clam up.

Blame you for everything.

Tell you they're upset, why they are, and what they want.

15. You find most men: Overly emotional.

Protective of your feelings but not emotional themselves.

Appear to be sensitive but aren't.

Cold and insensitive.

Emotionally available but not whiny.

16. When you have an opinion, men you know usually: Overvalue it.

Have a what-would-you-know-about-that att.i.tude.

Seem attentive at the time but later don't remember what you said.

Ignore it.

Listen carefully, even if they don't necessarily agree.

17. Men seem to be interested in you when you: Act strong and in control.

Are weak and at their beck and call.

Act disinterested.

Chase them.

Feel happy about yourself.

18. In arguments, you usually end up: Feeling like you've been unnecessarily cruel.

In a power struggle.

Having no one around to argue with because they leave.

Feeling like you've been taken advantage of.

Talking it out and resolving the problem.

19. When you're upset with a man, he: Feels guilty and apologizes, even if it isn't his fault.

Criticizes you or accuses you of overreacting.

Avoids you.

Acts as if nothing is wrong.

Asks you what the problem is.

20. In relations.h.i.+ps, you feel: Like you have all the responsibility.

Like he knows more than you.

Like he's searching for your flaws.

Used and abused.

Appreciated.

Add up all a's to see if you attract wimps, b's for daddies, c's for Peter Pans, d's for outlaws, and e's for healthy men. Don't be surprised if you attract different types. Outlaws and Peter Pans, for example, share some similar traits.

Wimps.

WIMPS are the kind of men we attract when we appear to be emotionally and/or financially strong. They're looking for women who can mother or even father them. Sometimes they seem refres.h.i.+ng because they're emotional-but don't let them fool you. They're emotional only about what they need from you, and they can never be there for you.

0 to 3 a's Although you may control men from time to time, you let few, if any, drain you or leech on to you.

4 to 7 a's Although you don't let men drain you dry, you need to be more careful about what you do for them.

8 to 13 a's.

You tend to become involved with men who rely on your strength. Don't let them take, take, take without giving you something in return.