Fire Your Boss Part 2

Editor/writer of promotional brochures for companies or organizations Editor/writer of promotional brochures for companies or organizations

Editor/writer of annual reports Editor/writer of annual reports

Editor/writer of sales and marketing materials for manufacturers Editor/writer of sales and marketing materials for manufacturers

PERFORMANCE R REVIEW:.

Earning market-value pay for editor of const.i.tuent newsletters Earning market-value pay for editor of const.i.tuent newsletters

Earning more than market value for editor of materials for not-for-profits Earning more than market value for editor of materials for not-for-profits

Earning less than market value for any of the other alternate paths Earning less than market value for any of the other alternate paths

Need to improve graphics skills for better-paying paths Need to improve graphics skills for better-paying paths

ALTERNATE C COURSES:.

For greater stability, work in development for not-for-profit agencies or organizations. For greater stability, work in development for not-for-profit agencies or organizations.

For greater income and quicker advancement, work in corporate communications. For greater income and quicker advancement, work in corporate communications.

ACTIONS:.

Take night cla.s.s at community college to learn page layout/Web design programs. Take night cla.s.s at community college to learn page layout/Web design programs.

Investigate graphic design courses. Investigate graphic design courses.

Wendy and I then brainstormed about other roles that fit her self-generated description. She also spoke with her sister. Together we decided that besides putting together const.i.tuent newsletters, Wendy could prepare promotional brochures for companies or organizations, put together annual reports, or develop sales materials for manufacturers.

Next, Wendy gave herself a performance review. Some quick informal research on Capitol Hill showed her that she was earning about the same amount as the other congressional staffers who put together const.i.tuent mailings, and that her career had progressed at a comparable rate. However, a quick visit to the career office at her alma mater showed her that she was earning less than she would if she were putting together almost any other kind of promotional material, whether brochures, annual reports, or sales materials. All of those areas would also offer a quicker pace of salary advancement. The only way she would be paid less or be on a slower track was if she were preparing fund-raising materials for not - for - profit agencies or organizations. Those other areas put more emphasis on the ability to use more sophisticated graphics.

Wendy then defined her alternate courses. She realized she could earn more, quicker, by working in corporate communications. Alternatively, she could work in development for not - for - profit agencies or organizations and have greater stability than in politics or in corporate communications. Wendy decided to take a night cla.s.s at a community college to learn a page-layout program and investigated taking some graphic-design courses in order to add the skills she needed to keep both her options open.

Finally, Wendy put her work plan in writing by preparing an outline on her computer, noting her job description, the alternate paths open to her, the skills she needed to add, and how she planned to go about acquiring them. She printed out the outline and hung it over her desk at home. (See the box on page 44: Wendy Rosenfeld's Work Plan.) When she brought me a copy of her outline, I congratulated her on firing her boss.

If you've followed the steps I've outlined in this chapter, you deserve my congratulations as well. If you do nothing else I talk about in this book other than this first step, you've nonetheless made tremendous progress. By firing your boss and hiring yourself instead, you've done what most Americans dream of but don't believe possible: you've taken control of your work life. From now on, you will be the one who determines your work future. That's nothing to sneeze at. But to go on and lead the life of your dreams you need to take the next step: kill your career. If you're ready to seize your own happiness, move on to chapter 3.

Chapter 3.

Kill Your Career...

and Get a Job

The word career is a divisive word. It's a word that divides the normal life from business or professional life.- GRACE P PALEY MARK TAPLEY IS no longer depressed. For years he had felt that he was living a catch-22. Having grown up in a very poor home with an absentee father, he was determined to provide the kind of life for his children that he himself hadn't experienced. An accountant, Mark labored at his profession, moving up to partner in a large firm and earning enough to buy a lovely sprawling home with a pool for his family. He could send his kids to the best private schools and summer camps. Unfortunately, he was a stranger to them. Mark was spending so much time at the office to provide for his children that he was depriving them of a father in the process. It was a cycle he couldn't figure out how to break...until this past year. Now he's home for dinner every night and spends every weekend with the family. He and his wife have had to cut back on the summer camps, but now they'reall going away together for two weeks in the summer. All it took for Mark to break the cycle was for him to take the second step in my workplace philosophy: he killed his career and got a job instead. It will work for you as well. no longer depressed. For years he had felt that he was living a catch-22. Having grown up in a very poor home with an absentee father, he was determined to provide the kind of life for his children that he himself hadn't experienced. An accountant, Mark labored at his profession, moving up to partner in a large firm and earning enough to buy a lovely sprawling home with a pool for his family. He could send his kids to the best private schools and summer camps. Unfortunately, he was a stranger to them. Mark was spending so much time at the office to provide for his children that he was depriving them of a father in the process. It was a cycle he couldn't figure out how to break...until this past year. Now he's home for dinner every night and spends every weekend with the family. He and his wife have had to cut back on the summer camps, but now they'reall going away together for two weeks in the summer. All it took for Mark to break the cycle was for him to take the second step in my workplace philosophy: he killed his career and got a job instead. It will work for you as well.

There is a way to get more satisfaction from life.

You can make a difference in the world.

It's possible to achieve the personal and spiritual fulfillment you've always wanted.

Ironically, it's by giving up the notion of career that you'll actually accomplish the goal that careers were created to meet.

The period from the end of World War II until the mid-1960s was an age of both prosperity and conformity. Whether he actually wore a gray flannel suit or went to work in overalls, and whether he lived in the city, the country, or the rapidly growing suburbs, your father probably strived to put physical as well as emotional distance between himself and his work. That was certainly true for the father of Sean Shanahan, the graphic designer I wrote of back in chapter 1.

Rebelling Against a Divided Life Sean's father saw his home as a refuge from his job with the telephone company and signaled, both verbally and nonverbally, that he really didn't want to talk about work once he came home. Sean's mom was a full-time homemaker who really did turn their house in Brooklyn into a sanctuary and refuge. For Sean's parents there was a sharp divide between work life and personal life.

If you're like most of my clients, you grew up, like Sean, seeing the downside to this divided life. Perhaps your dad seemed not to like what he did for a living. Sean believed his father was unhappy working as an executive with the telephone company. Maybe you sensed your mom had ambitions that weren't fulfilled. Sean believed his mother would have gone to nursing school had she not started a family so young. Most of my clients consciously set out to be different from their parents. Whether male or female, they - and probably you - went looking for meaningful work, work that was satisfying, work that made a difference.

Instead of getting a job - which was what your dad called work - I'll bet you looked for a career. Instead of feeling you had to choose between fulfilling parenthood and fulfilling work, you probably decided you could have both. Instead of work being a means to an end, you wanted it to become an end in itself. By taking a different approach than your parents, you believed, you would lead a more emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually rewarding life. That was what Sean believed. For most of his working life, he a.s.siduously chose "art over commerce," as he put it, trying to reap psychological rather than material rewards.

However, that's not the way things worked out for him, nor for most of my clients. Maybe, like them, you succeeded in avoiding the sharply divided life of your parents. But unfortunately, if your experience was anything like my clients' experiences, it turned out to be a life that was mostly work. Because you were pursuing something "meaningful" or something you found "rewarding," you tended to spend most of your day at work. Nine to five, five days a week is for those who are punching a clock, you thought. You have a calling, and so you're at the office from eight to eight, and you bring work home on the weekend too. Besides, there's now the not-so-subtle pressure from your boss to stay on the job until your work (and the work of the two people who were laid off) is done.

When you are home, in an effort to make the most of your limited time together you schedule "quality" family events. You, your partner, and maybe even your children coordinate schedules via cell phone during the day, instantly compensating for late meetings at the office or impromptu playdates after school. On the weekend your life is a whirlwind of home repairs, chauffeuring kids, and taking care of the things you didn't have the time for during the week.

What's really troubling, however, isn't that you're so tired or that your life is so hectic. The real trouble is that your work isn't as satisfying as it should be. It's certainly not rewarding enough to justify the sacrifices you're making in your personal life.

Sean's dad had a job that might not have been "meaningful," but he was home for dinner with the family every night and could spend Sunday afternoon playing catch with the kids. His mom might have had to let go of some of her ambitions, but she was able to pick her children up after school every day and make a big family dinner on Sundays. Sean feels he has no personal life to speak of. He finds himself working even longer hours, isn't earning as much as he believes he should, and has no job security. Earlier this year Sean confessed to me, "I'll never be Ward Cleaver, but I do envy some of the lifestyle of my parents." I told him he wasn't the only one.

A Divided Life Isn't So Bad After All Don't get me wrong. I'm not calling for a return to the Leave It to Beaver Leave It to Beaver lifestyle...unless that's what you want. Instead, I'm suggesting you take a different approach to work, one that offers a better chance of getting both the financial and psychological rewards you've wanted. What's that approach? I'm suggesting you stop living to work and instead start working to live. Rather than looking at work as an end in itself, view it as a means to an end: a way to generate the money you need to have a happy life. It's time to kill your career and get a job instead. (See the box on page 51: Definitions and Earliest Known Use.) lifestyle...unless that's what you want. Instead, I'm suggesting you take a different approach to work, one that offers a better chance of getting both the financial and psychological rewards you've wanted. What's that approach? I'm suggesting you stop living to work and instead start working to live. Rather than looking at work as an end in itself, view it as a means to an end: a way to generate the money you need to have a happy life. It's time to kill your career and get a job instead. (See the box on page 51: Definitions and Earliest Known Use.) DEFINITIONS AND EARLIEST KNOWN USEAccording to the Oxford English Dictionary: Oxford English Dictionary:JOB2. A piece of work, or transaction, done for hire, or with a special view to profit. A piece of work, or transaction, done for hire, or with a special view to profit. 1660 1660 Pepys, Pepys, Diary: Diary: I will do all the good jobs I can. I will do all the good jobs I can.CAREER5. A person's course or progress through life (or a distinct portion of life), especially when publicly conspicuous, or abounding in remarkable incidents; similarly with reference to a nation, a political party, etc. A person's course or progress through life (or a distinct portion of life), especially when publicly conspicuous, or abounding in remarkable incidents; similarly with reference to a nation, a political party, etc. b. b. In modern language frequently used for: A course of professional life or employment, which affords opportunity for progress or advancement in the world. In modern language frequently used for: A course of professional life or employment, which affords opportunity for progress or advancement in the world. 1803 1803 Wellington, Wellington, Dispatches: Dispatches: A more difficult negotiation than you ever had in your diplomatic career. A more difficult negotiation than you ever had in your diplomatic career.

Once you start looking at work as first and foremost a moneymaking endeavor, you'll find you actually start making more money. I'll talk more about this approach in a later chapter, but for now let me just say that killing your career almost guarantees a larger income, since from now on, whenever you face a choice or decision, you'll always opt for the path that provides more money.

But let's put the money issue aside for a few chapters. Right now let's focus on satisfaction. After all, if you're like most of my clients, you didn't pursue a career to earn more money; you wanted fulfillment. The problem is that in your pursuit of fulfillment through work you've stolen time from the areas of life that are far more likely to provide fulfillment: personal relations.h.i.+ps, community, hobbies, and religion.

Instead of looking to better society through your work, why not do it after work? Sure, it's possible to find a job that directly or indirectly helps the poor. That would indeed be a n.o.ble pursuit. But if that's your goal, why not volunteer at a soup kitchen instead? That's far easier to achieve and guaranteed to offer the kind of rewards you're seeking.

Looking for creative fulfillment? There are people who are able to find work that provides artistic satisfaction, but they are few and far between. Instead, why not paint watercolors on the weekend? You'll be creating what you want, not what someone else demands.

Rather than working hour after hour at a job you hope will give you a sense of emotional satisfaction, spend more time at home with your life partner and children and family and friends. You're far more likely to get emotional satisfaction from teaching your daughter to ride a two-wheeler than from making a killer presentation to the board.

Crave a sense of community? Get active in your house of wors.h.i.+p or a local service organization. Being a member of a congregation, for instance, is more likely to give you a sense of belonging than being named to the project team for the Acme account.

Sometimes, when I suggest to clients that they kill their career, I'm met with indignation. Clients ask if I'm saying they can't have it all, that it's a mistake to look for work in a field they love, or that it's impossible to find satisfaction at work today. I've thought a great deal about that question because it's a fair one and deserves an honest, thoughtful answer.

"Can't I Have It All?"

Is it possible to have it all? To have a job you love that is both rewarding and lucrative, as well as a satisfying personal life? I will admit it is possible. But, truth be told, it's not probable. It's a one-in-a-million chance. A real long shot. How many social workers or poets earn six figures? How many executives pulling down seven-figure salaries are home every night for dinner with their family? Sure, there are some, but I see them as the exceptions that prove the rule.

And look at what you'd be risking in the gamble to be one of these few. You'd be giving up surefire opportunities to achieve some of your cherished goals on a roll of the dice to try to achieve all of them. I'm not willing to take that risk with your life. Instead, I'd rather help you kill your career.

Let me tell you a little story that perhaps will ill.u.s.trate my point. It's a well-known fable that comes in various incarnations. Here's my favorite.

A very wealthy businessman is finally convinced by his wife to go on a relaxing vacation. In order to ensure that he doesn't keep calling his office, his wife books them a small house on a tiny, extremely isolated, very beautiful island. The island is little more than a small village surrounding a harbor. The house the couple rents has a balcony overlooking both the harbor and the town's central square, where there's a cafe, a church, and a small grocery. The first full day he's on the island the businessman wakes, pours himself a cup of coffee, and goes to sit on the balcony. Down in the village square he sees a young man leave his home and walk toward the docks. The fisherman loads his nets in a small skiff and rows out to sea. The businessman imagines how peaceful it must be to fish these waters.

Later that same day the businessman and his wife are sitting on the balcony having lunch. He looks down and sees the same young fisherman rowing back to the dock. His skiff is filled with dozens of baskets overflowing with fish. The businessman watches as the fisherman carries his baskets to the grocery, where he sells his catch and buys some groceries. The fisherman goes back to his house. Later that evening, after having dinner on the balcony, the businessman sees the fisherman along with what must be his family - a wife and two young children - strolling to the cafe. The family melts into what must be the town's entire population. There's laughing, drinking, and singing.

The next day the businessman sees the fisherman go through the exact same pattern. He leaves around breakfast, returns with an incredible catch by lunch, sells it at the grocery, goes home, and then appears at the cafe with his family after dinner. The day after that the pattern is the same again. After watching this for four days the businessman feels compelled to speak to the fisherman.

On the fifth day the businessman approaches the fisherman after he has sold his catch but before he's gone home. "Excuse me," the businessman says. "Since my wife and I have been renting that house over there, I couldn't help but see you fish every day. You're an incredible fisherman. I'm a very successful businessman, and I think with just a little bit of effort you could become very wealthy."

"What do you mean?" asks the fisherman.

"Well," says the businessman, "if you went back out in the afternoon and fished for a full day rather than half the day you could double your money."

"What would I do with the extra money?" asks the fisherman.

"First you could use it to buy a bigger boat," says the businessman. "Then you could use the even greater profits to buy a second boat and hire an a.s.sistant. Eventually you could make enough money so you didn't have to fish yourself."

"What would I do then?" the fisherman asks.

"Anything you wanted," the businessman says. "You could relax, spend time with your family and with your friends."

The fisherman looks confused, and then says, "But that's exactly what I do now."

There are lots of morals you can gain from the story. For me, the message has always been that you can't have it all if you don't have time to do it all. Sometimes doing less actually yields you more.

a.s.suming I've got you convinced, do not - I repeat, do not - go into your boss's office and say you're not staying late tonight because you've got to take junior to his little league game. Killing your career is an att.i.tude adjustment, not a suicide attempt. It begins by trying to become more like that proverbial fisherman and keeping focused on the ends, rather than the means.

Why Do You Work?

In order to focus on the ends, you first need to figure out what they are. You need to ask yourself, "Why do I work?"

It's rare that we actually ask ourselves that question. As we discussed in the previous chapter, we've given control over our work lives to others. By not being in charge of our own work life, by not thinking about why we're working, we're acting reflexively rather than reflectively. It's time to change that.

Over the years of asking my clients to tell me why they work, I've been given many different answers. But after looking over my notes and thinking about all my consultations, I've determined that there are really only eight answers. My clients and, I a.s.sume, you work for one of these eight reasons:

For power

For respect

For security

To travel

To serve

To meet people

To express yourself

For money