Fire Your Boss Part 5

a.s.suming you've been doing everything you can to meet his needs, as outlined in the previous chapter, his response will be fear, not anger. He'll be afraid he'll lose you and will do everything he can to keep you. Your job fis.h.i.+ng will serve as a wake-up call and could lead to your getting a raise, a promotion, or some other perks. He'll do whatever he can to make sure you stay there, keeping him from having to go to meetings he dreads, or bringing him his breakfast every morning and picking up his dry cleaning at lunch.

In cases where it's a toss-up between your current job and a job offer, you should actually come out and tell your boss about the offer. Explain that you were approached about another job, but would prefer to stay where you are now...if your boss can meet some of the advantages the potential new job offers. He'll either meet the new offer, or not. If he does, you can stay where you are. If he doesn't, you take the new job.

Larry Endowsky is an optician who has excelled working in the same optometry office for the past three years. Early on Larry realized that the optometrist owner loved giving exams but hated interacting with patients. As a result, Larry became what he called "the social director" of the practice. He met patients in the waiting room, took them to the preliminary tests, escorted them to the optometrist's office for the examination, and then brought them over to the eyegla.s.s area for selection and fitting. Larry was paid comparatively well, but that didn't stop him from looking for work. He was called for an interview for a manager's position with a one-hour eyegla.s.s chain store that had recently opened in a nearby mall. The optometrist's wife saw Larry being interviewed while she was at the mall shopping and rushed home to tell her husband. The next day Larry was offered a raise as well as a share of the business.WHAT TO SAY IF YOUR BOSS FINDS OUTIf your boss finds out you're looking for another job and asks you about it, the best response is confirmation, not denial. You want to act nonchalant, stressing that it was nothing out of the ordinary and that's why you didn't think it merited bringing it to your boss's attention. Then add some superficially rea.s.suring words that also carry a subtext. Say something like this:"Yes, I've been contacted about other opportunities. I get calls from headhunters every four or five months. You know I'm not happy with the money I'm earning here, but don't worry - I don't want to leave."

Even if you haven't been able to meet your boss's needs before he learns of your job fis.h.i.+ng, it will have no impact on your situation. We are all contingent workers today anyway, and no one knows that better than your boss. Don't deny you're job fis.h.i.+ng if asked. You've nothing to be ashamed of. You're just being a savvy employee, doing everything you can to solidify your stream of income and explore your options. (See the box above: What to Say If Your Boss Finds Out.) If your boss continues to express shock at your lack of loyalty, it could be a sign he was thinking of terminating you sometime soon and is upset you're potentially throwing off his desired timing. In that case you're a step ahead of the process by having launched your job-fis.h.i.+ng mission ahead of time. You didn't lose anything by looking for a job while still working. In fact, you helped yourself by getting a jump on the process.

"But What If I'm Offered Two Jobs?"

Another fear expressed by clients whom I tell to "go fis.h.i.+ng," which I a.s.sume some of you share, is being offered two jobs at the same time. My response is, "Why is that a problem?"

It's really amazing. As employees we have been beaten down for so long that we're afraid of being in demand, rather than being a supplicant. It's like the stories you read of freed slaves after the American Civil War who, having been so psychologically (not to mention physically) beaten down, were frightened of freedom. If you're offered two jobs at the same time that's a good thing.

Can you imagine a business owner saying, "I'm worried two people will want to buy my product"? Of course not: compet.i.tion boosts revenues. If you need evidence of that, just go online and look at what some things sell for on eBay, the Internet auction site. You can find items that are currently for sale in retail stores being sold at auction on eBay for far more than they cost in a store. Why? Because more than one buyer is interested and the multiple buyers get caught up competing with each other. The same can happen when you go job fis.h.i.+ng.

If you receive more than one offer at the same time, and you've still got your current job to boot, you're not facing a problem; you're in a terrific situation. Decide which of the two new offers you find most attractive. My advice would be, as you might guess, to choose the one that offers the most compensation. (See the box above: How to Negotiate an Initial Salary.) Select a few areas where the lesser offer has some advantages, and go back to the person making the preferred offer, subtly asking her to match those advantages. (See the box on page 116: How to Leverage Job Offers.) If it's a toss-up between the winner of the two offers and your current job, go back to your current employer and ask her to meet the new offer.

HOW TO NEGOTIATE AN INITIAL SALARYThe best opportunity you'll ever have to increase your income is when you're negotiating your initial salary on a job. You are at your most powerful, since you're the potential hero who has to be convinced to come on board.The secret is to keep your mouth shut. If you put the first number on the table the negotiation will be about lowering your number. If, on the other hand, your potential boss puts the first number on the table, the negotiation will be about increasing her number.If you're asked how much you're looking for, say you're looking for market value for someone of your skills and abilities. If you're pushed further, don't dance around the issue too much. Instead, offer up a high figure. What's high? Well, hopefully you've done some research. But in any case, you can a.s.sume the company has a range rather than a specific number in mind. Any advertised number will represent the low end of that range.Let's say they are advertising the position for $45,000 or "midforties." They were probably paying the previous job holder $50,000. But they're probably willing to pay upwards of $55,000. If pushed to come up with a number, my suggestion would be to say $60,000, in an effort to end up at the high end of the range. Simply rationalize any concessions you must make by saying things like, "Well, I am intrigued by the challenges this job would offer," or "This job would give me the chance to enter a field in which I'm fascinated."HOW TO LEVERAGE JOB OFFERSIf you'd like to use one job offer as leverage against another offer, or against your current boss, you should say something like this:"As you know, my stream of income is very important to me. From time to time I'm approached by headhunters about positions that are open. I've been offered another position. I would prefer to continue working with you [or, accept your offer], but I need you to know that this other firm has offered me..."If you're afraid such obvious blackmail could put a bull's-eye on your back, you can have the news come from a third party. Either casually let the office snitch know about your being offered another job, or use a trusted person - a client or the president's secretary - to pa.s.s along the news.

Do you have a sense now of how much of a difference job fis.h.i.+ng can make in your work life? Not only will it let you choose the timing of your departure from a job, and potentially pick and choose from among multiple job offers, but it offers the best chance to dramatically increase your income. The largest salary increases don't come from negotiating regular raises with your boss. Those are generally limited to single-digit percentages not much higher, if at all, than the rate of inflation. Jumps in salary come when you s.h.i.+ft jobs or, excuse the term, blackmail your current employer.

Frankie Martin has the rare ability to look at someone and instantly figure out what clothes she should wear to look her best. A graduate of New York City's Fas.h.i.+on Inst.i.tute of Technology, she's the granddaughter of a neighbor of mine. Frankie took a job as a salesperson in the juniors' department of a large department store, more interested at first in the employee discount than the salary. As each month went by, increasing numbers of young girls from New York's wealthy families were showing up at the store, and specifically asking for Frankie to wait on them. While Frankie wasn't enamored with retailing, she knew the job market was depressed in New York, and so, after a consultation with me, she concentrated her job-fis.h.i.+ng efforts in the retail fas.h.i.+on business. She soon received an offer to be an a.s.sistant manager at a competing department store. Two days later she received a similar offer from a well-known women's specialty store, run by a former fas.h.i.+on model. When she got back in touch with the department store and expressed reticence, the store changed its proposal, offering to make her a personal shopper for its best young-adult customers. Frankie grabbed the job, which had a salary that was double what she was making.

"How Do I Balance Constant Job Fis.h.i.+ng with Actually Doing My Job?"

The final objection I get when I suggest my clients start job fis.h.i.+ng is that it's impossible to look constantly for work while still working. I'll give you the same answer I give them: difficult, perhaps; impossible, no.

First, remember that by looking for emotional, psychological, and spiritual satisfaction from your life, not your work, you won't be spending as much time on the job as before. By making meeting your boss's needs your primary focus, you also won't be under any added pressure to stay late. That means we're not talking about adding two hours a week to a schedule already filled with sixty hours of work. Adding those two hours of job-fis.h.i.+ng time to a typical forty-hour workweek doesn't seem like much of a burden. Especially not when you consider the potential payoff.

AVOIDING EMPLOYMENT AGENCY SCAMSUnfortunately, the employment agency industry attracts more than its share of shady operators, particularly when unemployment is high. Here are some tips for steering clear of the rotten apples.Make sure to visit their office. Scam boiler-room operations will want to interact only over the telephone or via e-mail.Check their professional standing. See if they're members of the National a.s.sociation of Personnel Services, the American Management a.s.sociation, or the Society for Human Resource Managers.Beware advance fees. Walk away if it costs money to walk in the door or to take tests. Once an agency has your money it has little motivation to help you further. Pay a fee only if you land a job.Steer clear of agencies that place fake cla.s.sified ads or that have 900 numbers.Don't sign a contract without first reading it thoroughly...at home. Watch out for agencies that push you to sign right away, claiming it's "a standard form."

Second, a lot of your job-fis.h.i.+ng work, as you'll see in the next chapter, can come during your personal rather than work life. I don't mean you need to give up playing golf to go job fis.h.i.+ng. Playing golf can become become job fis.h.i.+ng. In addition, you'll also be leveraging your time by having others, particularly headhunters and employment agencies, do some of your job fis.h.i.+ng for you. job fis.h.i.+ng. In addition, you'll also be leveraging your time by having others, particularly headhunters and employment agencies, do some of your job fis.h.i.+ng for you.

Third, and last, job fis.h.i.+ng needn't be that time-consuming or draining. Since you're not under the time pressures of having to get a job as soon as possible, you can take a more deliberate, planned approach.

That's what I explained to Jared Edwards after he told me about his history of recent employment woes. Jared and his wife had come to see me for help in cleaning up their credit prior to purchasing a home. During the eighteen months Jared had been unemployed the family had relied heavily on credit cards and had then strung some of the banks out by skipping and delaying payments. Their survival efforts had done a number on their credit rating. Jared's natural sales skills had helped him close a few big deals selling the computerized educational systems, despite the shortcomings of his territory, so the Edwardses had been able to pay most of their debts and put some money aside. I spent a great deal of time working on employment with both Jared and his wife. Having so recently suffered through a spell of unemployment, Jared was quick to embrace the concept of job fis.h.i.+ng.

A Job-Fis.h.i.+ng Plan Just as it made sense to plan out your overall work plan, so I think it makes sense to plan your job fis.h.i.+ng. Take out your now well-worn pad and head a page Job Fis.h.i.+ng. On it, start making notes of all the things you can do to stay abreast of job opportunities.

Turn back to your work plan and note the alternate paths you discovered. Write those, along with your current work path, in a list on your job-fis.h.i.+ng page.

Take one morning or afternoon of an upcoming weekend and go to your nearest college library. Sit down with a reference librarian and ask him for help finding the top two trade or professional magazines dealing with each of the work paths on your list. Write those t.i.tles down on your pad. Scan some back issues, looking for the names of any headhunters or employment agencies that seem to be active in the fields. Again, make a note of them on your pad. (See the box on page 118: Avoiding Employment Agency Scams.) Spend a few hours searching the Internet for any sites that seem to offer a decent collection of ads relevant to your needs. Write down the URLs.

ELIMINATING ReSUMe RED FLAGSResumes are human-resources screening devices rather than applicant promotional devices. Their main function is to provide a human-resources person or manager with information he or she can use to cut down the number of potential candidates so interviewing doesn't take too long. That's why I encourage my clients to have a resume that eliminates all potential red flags.Ironically, job candidates usually err by providing too much information, not too little.Begin by removing all dates that could inform the reader of your age. You don't need to list when you graduated college. You also don't need to list every job you've ever held. Pick the handful of jobs most relevant to the one for which you're being interviewed.If you must offer some kind of objective or brief biographical sketch, make sure it matches what you a.s.sume to be the ideal candidate. For example, saying you're looking to "learn" or "grow" implies you're young. Phrases such as "new challenges" or "expand your skills" implies you're older.Trim your list of skills and achievements to include only those relevant to the job in question. It's counterintuitive, but listing too many skills and achievements may make you seem overqualified or older than the target candidate.One place you can provide more rather than less information is in a section on personal interests. Employers aren't allowed to come right out and ask about your age, marital status, or physical condition. Some, out of fear, will even trash resumes that provide that information.You can let them infer a desired age by noting that you're, say, either president of the local chapter of the Phish fan club or the bridge club. Including that you're a marathoner would allay health issues. And reporting that you're treasurer of the church's couples' club and have twice supervised the local PTA fund-raiser says you're married with children.

While still at the library, pick up the most recent issue of your local newspaper that has the most help wanted ads. In most cities, that's the Sunday paper. In towns where there is no Sunday paper it's usually the Sat.u.r.day edition. If there are multiple newspapers in your community, consult them all. Include weeklies as well as dailies. Go through the help wanted section, looking to see where jobs pertaining to all your job paths are listed. Note the appropriate headings. Once again, look for any headhunters or employment agencies that stand out.

Before you leave the library, compile two lists: one, a reading list of all the trade magazines, Web sites, and newspapers you'll be checking on a regular basis; the second, a contact list of headhunters and employment agencies.

Make it your business to telephone all the headhunters and employment agencies you've listed and inform them of your interest in other work. Set up personal meetings if you can, and certainly follow up with a package including a cover letter and your latest resume. (See the box on page 120: Eliminating Resume Red Flags.) Next, set aside two hours a week to go over the magazines, Web sites, and newspapers on your reading list. You can subscribe rather than go to the library if it's more convenient. You can probably get away with reading the trade magazines while at work, either on your lunch break or when you have downtime. I would not recommend reading the want ads or scanning the job sites at your desk, however. No amount of attention to meeting your boss's needs will make that acceptable behavior: it's far too confrontational and sends a signal that everyone, not just your boss, can pick up.

Obviously you're looking for every relevant want ad in the magazines and newspapers. Answer all of them, since you're casting a wide net for offers, not just jobs. But keep an eye out for interesting articles as well. Perhaps you'll come across a story about a company looking to change its direction, or a firm looking to add new products or services. Maybe there will be a profile of a CEO who sounds interesting. Make note of any such story that piques your interest. Send an e-mail, or if you can't find an e-mail address, a letter, to the individual mentioned in the story, noting where you read about him or her, and explaining how you think it might be mutually productive for the two of you to meet and speak. Do not not attach or include a resume. These notes won't always yield a meeting. But when they do, it will be a productive one. And since you're not in any rush - remember, you're job fis.h.i.+ng not job hunting - quality rather than quant.i.ty is your aim. You're actually looking to create relations.h.i.+ps rather than looking for jobs. attach or include a resume. These notes won't always yield a meeting. But when they do, it will be a productive one. And since you're not in any rush - remember, you're job fis.h.i.+ng not job hunting - quality rather than quant.i.ty is your aim. You're actually looking to create relations.h.i.+ps rather than looking for jobs.

After working with Jared for a year we met to take stock. He and his wife were happy in their new home. While sales of the computerized educational system were good, there had been some recent shake-ups in the upper management of his company. Jared had been and still was fis.h.i.+ng for offers. In fact, two had come along in the past three months, but neither paid as much as his current job. Still, they had given him some confidence. Meanwhile he had struck up an e-mail relations.h.i.+p with an inventor who lived in his territory. He had seen an article about the man in one of the trade magazines on his reading list and had sent him a note. A somewhat eccentric engineer who had been responsible for a major medical breakthrough some years earlier, the man had just started working on a new form of a superefficient home heating system. Jared told me that while it didn't seem likely to yield a job offer right away, he was traveling to have lunch with the fellow the next week. I congratulated Jared, telling him he'd reached the next stage in developing a new workplace att.i.tude.

That's the same stage you're about to reach. Jared had learned that cultivating personal relations.h.i.+ps is more important today than cultivating business contacts. In the next chapter you'll see that today, no one hires a stranger.

Chapter 6.

No One Hires a Stranger

Never like seein' strangers. Guess it's 'cause no stranger ever good newsed me.- JOHN W WAYNE IN R RED R RIVER AGNES WICKFIELD CAN hardly believe that getting active in her local chamber music group has led to a new job. For years, Agnes had been trying to move from her job as a paralegal with a midsize law firm into the corporate world, which she knew offered better pay and benefits. Agnes had networked religiously for two years, and had gone on so many informational interviews that she felt like a journalist. Yet nothing ever came of them. In fact, it was getting harder to line up those interviews. Then, early this year, Agnes took a different tack. She got more active in her church. She began volunteering at the local hospital. She even dusted off her cello and joined the chamber music group in town. At a joint Christmas concert with the local choral society, Agnes struck up a conversation with one of the volunteer ushers. He turned out to be vice president of an energy company headquartered in a nearby suburb. Three weeks later he arranged an interview for Agnes with his company. Two weeks after that she was offered a job as an in-house paralegal. hardly believe that getting active in her local chamber music group has led to a new job. For years, Agnes had been trying to move from her job as a paralegal with a midsize law firm into the corporate world, which she knew offered better pay and benefits. Agnes had networked religiously for two years, and had gone on so many informational interviews that she felt like a journalist. Yet nothing ever came of them. In fact, it was getting harder to line up those interviews. Then, early this year, Agnes took a different tack. She got more active in her church. She began volunteering at the local hospital. She even dusted off her cello and joined the chamber music group in town. At a joint Christmas concert with the local choral society, Agnes struck up a conversation with one of the volunteer ushers. He turned out to be vice president of an energy company headquartered in a nearby suburb. Three weeks later he arranged an interview for Agnes with his company. Two weeks after that she was offered a job as an in-house paralegal.

Agnes learned an important lesson, one I preach to all my clients as the fifth part of my workplace philosophy, and one which I'll be urging you to realize: in today's work world, no one hires a stranger.

No matter how diligently you scour ads, no matter how extensive your network, and no matter how many informational interviews you go on, those traditional techniques alone won't get you a job...not unless you're able first to develop a relations.h.i.+p with the person who does the hiring.

Volunteering each week at a local soup kitchen will today lead to better job offers than going to a trade show.

Being an active member of the PTA is today a more effective job-search technique than being an active member of your professional a.s.sociation.

And singing in the annual community Christmas concert will generate more positive job leads than all the informational interviews in the world.

Incredible as it may sound, pursuing your personal interests isn't just good for your heart and soul, it's good for your wallet too.

Fred Peters learned the hard way that the world of job searching has changed. If you remember from chapter 1, Fred is the director of publications of a major Ivy League university and an avid golfer. Staff cuts and consolidations have taken what was always a stressful position and turned it into a nightmare. Fred decided to be proactive and start getting back in touch with the people in his network and start testing the waters. Based on his study of trade magazines and professional journals, it doesn't seem there are many job openings in higher education. A visit to a meeting of a press group he belonged to resulted in his being overwhelmed with resumes. Apparently, everyone there was already out of work. Telephone calls to other business contacts asking for help in lining up informational interviews have been fruitless. Some people don't even return his calls or e-mails. His mentor, a former manager, admitted to him that he hasn't been able to get interviews for himself, let alone for Fred. To make matters worse, there are rumors that the new president of the university is looking to cut even more staff.

The Changing Job Search For years, most job openings were announced simply by putting a Help Wanted or Now Hiring sign in a store, office, or factory window. Even in today's high-tech, sophisticated world it's interesting to see how many businesses still use this traditional technique to find employees. Walk through all but the most economically depressed communities today and you'll see a number of such simple requests for applications.

However, most jobs today are advertised in newspapers and/or magazines. One reason is that only a handful of businesses now have sufficient physical exposure to enough human traffic for those simple window signs to be effective. And, of course, by advertising in publications, businesses can pull from a much larger pool of potential candidates. That's essential if you're looking for people with particular skills and experiences. A beverage-distribution firm looking to hire an experienced wine salesperson fluent in Italian can't count on many such folks walking by their office complex in a suburban industrial park. The fewer people who possess the desired combination of skills and experience, the more ma.s.s market the publications need to be for the ads to be effective.

Existing open positions are almost always advertised in one way or another. Even if the job is likely to be filled through an in-house promotion, the position may be advertised if for no other reason than meeting legal obligations. The great advantage of applying for jobs advertised in newspapers and magazines is that you know there's a definite and immediate opening. Someone desperate to generate a stream of income as soon as possible can look to ads for immediate leads. That's something I'll get back to in a later chapter when I discuss what to do if you're currently unemployed. Still, in recent years most of my clients, and I'll wager a great many of you reading this book, have all but ignored help wanted ads. That's because in the past twenty or thirty years it has become accepted wisdom that the best jobs aren't advertised.

I think it was in the 1970s that people began to believe help wanted ads weren't for elite job searchers. There was was a great deal of truth to this belief. Many times, companies didn't post wanted ads for positions, because they hadn't yet fired the person holding the position. Rather than terminating someone the company felt was underperforming, there would be a discrete private job search. Only after a replacement was found would the current employee be let go. By keeping the potential job opening private a company could also, in effect, test the waters. If it didn't find any candidates more attractive than its current employee, it would bite the bullet and keep him or her...at least for the moment. Because filling lower-level jobs is always easier - there are simply more candidates - this backdoor job filling was reserved for positions that were tougher to fill and, which, therefore, paid more. In fact, the harder the job was to fill, and the more it paid, the more likely the whole process would take place privately. a great deal of truth to this belief. Many times, companies didn't post wanted ads for positions, because they hadn't yet fired the person holding the position. Rather than terminating someone the company felt was underperforming, there would be a discrete private job search. Only after a replacement was found would the current employee be let go. By keeping the potential job opening private a company could also, in effect, test the waters. If it didn't find any candidates more attractive than its current employee, it would bite the bullet and keep him or her...at least for the moment. Because filling lower-level jobs is always easier - there are simply more candidates - this backdoor job filling was reserved for positions that were tougher to fill and, which, therefore, paid more. In fact, the harder the job was to fill, and the more it paid, the more likely the whole process would take place privately.

I was let into how this practice worked in the late 1970s, when I got a call from David Zimmer. I had first met David when I was appearing regularly as a television commentator. He was CFO of the network at the time, and he and I had to negotiate some issues. David asked me to serve as his representative in a hush-hush negotiation. He had been called at home by a headhunter who had been hired by a cable network. The headhunter said the CEO of the other network was looking to replace his own CFO and David was one of the handful of people qualified for the job. But since the CEO wasn't sure he'd be able to steal someone away from another network, he was using the headhunter to approach the candidates discretely and sequentially. The entire process had to be kept secret from the rest of the company and the media. David hired me to be his cutout, and the whole process actually took place between the headhunter and me rather than between David and the CEO.

Sometimes a private job opening was created, not by the company's disappointment, but by a candidate coming forward and offering him- or herself to the company. Let's say a superb graphic artist privately went to an advertising agency and offered her services. The agency, blown away by the individual, decided to make a place for her even if one didn't exist, either by terminating someone it felt was less competent than the new person, or by creating an entirely new position. In the 1970s and 1980s I saw this happen a great deal in very compet.i.tive businesses. For example, that graphic designer who approached the ad agency might have been working for a competing ad agency. By hiring her the agency not only helped itself, it hurt a compet.i.tor.

This was how Sandra l.u.s.tick landed a very lucrative position with a software firm in the 1980s. Sandra had gone to college with one of my daughters. I had helped her purchase an apartment and negotiate a raise with the software firm for which she worked. A couple of years later Sandra came to me with an idea for a new business. We discussed it and realized that there was already a company that could provide the product and service Sandra envisioned. Rather than starting from scratch, I coached Sandra to approach this firm. She put together an excellent proposal about how it could slightly alter one of its products and then potentially take advantage of a huge untapped market. The president of the company was so impressed that he hired Sandra on the spot, excited both by the prospect of a new revenue stream, and by the prospect of stealing a star salesperson away from a compet.i.tor.

There were also times these private openings were created through the personal whim of an executive. Maybe the CFO's nephew had just graduated college and hadn't yet found a job. His mother turned to her brother at a weekend barbecue and said something like, "You're a big-shot CFO at Acme Inc. After all I've done for you and your kids over the years, why can't you get my son a job?" The CFO then went to the human resources director the subsequent Monday morning, presented his nephew's resume, and "asked" if there were any jobs for this dazzling young man. Depending on the clout of the CFO, and yes, the merit of the young man in question, the HR director might have created or forced a place for him.

My client Sara Ciannesco had to make a hire in just these kinds of circ.u.mstances. Sara owns two very successful high-end women's clothing stores in Manhattan. One of the well-known designers whose work the store featured heard Sara was looking for a new salesperson for her downtown store. The designer said he had just the person for the job: a young woman who was trying to crack into the world of fas.h.i.+on modeling. It just so happened she was also dating the designer. Sara, needing to remain on good terms with the designer, hired the young lady. While she didn't become a stellar employee, she became adequate, and actually lasted longer as a clothing salesperson than she did as the designer's girlfriend.

As more and more people recognized there was a backdoor job market, as well as the more public job market represented by the help wanted ads, people developed a new job-search approach. Answering ads was no longer enough. You had to network.

The Age of Networking The principle behind networking is that the best jobs are filled, not by answering ads, but by making business connections. The idea is to develop a mutually supporting network of individuals with whom you have business relations.h.i.+ps. These could be people you worked with, worked for, competed against, partnered with, sold to, or bought from. You meet these people informally, let's say for lunch, and talk about what you are doing and what they are doing. The idea is to create sources of information about those private job openings. The more you network, the more of an insider you become. The quid pro quo is that you too are ready, willing, and able to help others find those private jobs.

Along with their own contacts, ambitious networkers go to events, meetings, conventions, and trade shows, and meet people who might know about some private job openings, or meet people who know other people who know about some private job openings. Even if no immediate private job opening appears, they press the flesh, hand out their business cards, and subtly make it clear that they are in the market for any such openings that might one day appear. Sometimes these networks revolve around industries, other times around professions. Perhaps all the dental hygienists in a city gather regularly for a meeting at which they hear a manufacturer's representative talk about a new piece of equipment, have dinner, complain about dentists, and share inside information on private job openings.

Renatta Kahn was one of my clients who actually turned networking from a job-search technique into a lifestyle. I helped Renatta when, as a young attorney specializing in entertainment law, she negotiated her contract as an in-house counsel for a large, multifaceted media corporation. Renatta was a single, attractive woman in her midthirties with an incredible drive to succeed. Renatta had breakfast with the same three other entertainment lawyers every morning at a cafe in a small boutique hotel. Over coffee and juice in this discreet location they traded inside information and gossip. After work, Renatta's schedule was filled with meetings of a bar a.s.sociation committee on Mondays, drinks at a television industry gathering on Tuesdays, a publis.h.i.+ng industry roundtable and dinner on Wednesdays, and a standing dinner date with her boss on Thursdays. She spent almost every weekend with a handful of business guests at a house she owned on the eastern end of Long Island. The only time Renatta didn't seem to be networking was when she jogged, which she did religiously first thing every morning - though I'm sure if she could have found an entertainment industry runners' group, she would have joined.

As networking became more widespread, and as people began to look to move beyond their own industry or profession, a variation developed. This is what I called Rolodex renting, and it involves the use of informational interviews.

You may want to s.h.i.+ft to a job in the widget industry. Unfortunately, you know only one person in widgets. Rather than relying on social gatherings and your own limited set of contacts, you ask your contacts for help in finding people who might be able help you "learn if the widget industry is right for you." In effect, you rent other people's Rolodexes, asking them to introduce you to any of their own contacts in the widget business. In this way you exponentially increase the reach of an existing network.

Once you get a name, you call, write, or e-mail the individual, asking for an informational interview, dropping the name of the person who referred you. Outwardly you are simply asking to pick the interviewer's brains about the widget business, since it's something you find interesting. Actually you are trying to get him or her to hire you, but saying so would limit the number of people willing to speak with you.

At these informational interviews you do everything you can to impress the heck out of the interviewer and get him or her to give you a job. If that doesn't happen, you simply ask for the names of other people who might be helpful in your fascinating voyage of discovery in the land of widgets. You then call these new names and repeat the process, dropping the name of the person who made the referral.

The interviewers are not necessarily motivated by your being able to help them get a job, since they are probably much higher on the corporate ladder than you; instead, they want to be able to refer their own contacts to the person who referred you. Instead of it being a direct quid pro quo - "I'll help you if you help me" - it is second-degree quid pro quo - "I'll help the person you send me if you help the person I send you."

This process of working your own network, renting other people's Rolodexes, and then going on a series of informational interviews is the method of choice for most people looking for good-paying, mid- to upper-level, white-collar work. Sure, the want ads are still there and actually got a boost from the Internet, but they aren't seen as being either as effective or as sophisticated as the informational interview circuit.

HOW TO ATTRACT HEADHUNTERSBecause corporate executives are pretty much obsessed with filling upper-level jobs only by employee-jacking, and human resources departments have effectively put an end to informational interviews, headhunters will remain the only route to the upper levels of a company. How do you show up on their radar screens?Make sure you're still working. No matter what they may say, headhunters are hired in order to poach employees from compet.i.tors.Forget about contacting them and presenting yourself as a potential candidate. The headhunter motto is "Don't call us, we'll call you." Remember, they're not looking to find jobs for people, they're looking to find people for jobs.Instead, become an informant for them. Tell them you're interested in developing a relations.h.i.+p and then offer up everything you know about your company. Give them enough names, t.i.tles, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses to compile an organizational chart and directory of your company. Headhunters believe in a quid pro quo, but want their quid up front.

But in the past couple of years this circuit has run out of power. Since the bursting of the Internet bubble, the terrorist attacks of September 11, and the subsequent recession, it has been getting more and more difficult for people to find anyone willing to give them an informational interview. I have to admit I've stopped giving them myself. That's because it's obvious to everyone now that these are nothing more than job interviews in disguise. With so many people requesting informational interviews, and with so few actual job openings, it has become time-consuming and ultimately fruitless to give these interviews.

Human resources departments have successfully fought against filling positions through networking. All those behind-the-scenes interviews and meetings threatened their existence. Why have a personnel department if you weren't going to use it to find and screen candidates? In order to provide the secrecy many executives sought, the HR people took to hiring headhunters (often former HR people themselves) to do the screening of potential candidates. (See the box on page 133: How to Attract Headhunters.) Make It Personal One of the themes I keep coming back to in this book is that merit isn't enough to succeed at work anymore. It's also not enough to get a foot in the door these days. I hate to say it, but in today's job market it's not what you know, but who you know. To get the multiple job offers you're looking for in your job-fis.h.i.+ng efforts, you'll need to draw on personal relations.h.i.+ps.

Let's say there's a job opening in your department. Your sister has been out of work for about six months, relying on her husband's income and help from your parents to make ends meet. She's qualified for the job...but so are the two dozen people represented by the file folder of resumes sitting on your desk. Do you tell your sister about the job and also do everything you can to help her get it, or do you simply treat her like every other candidate? Of course you bend over backward to help your sister get the job.

It's human nature to give preference to those closest to you. That's just accentuated when times are hard, as they are in the job market today. The people making the decisions on whom to meet with, whom to interview, and whom to hire naturally give preference to individuals with whom they have personal relations.h.i.+ps. For example, during one of the last major economic downturns in New York a good friend of mine who was a part-time professor and actor was having a hard time making ends meet. I needed help in my office with general office ch.o.r.es and deliveries. Rather than hiring someone with experience, I offered the job to my out-of-work friend. I chose to hire based on personal connection rather than competence. I don't think that's unusual. That's why I think the key to getting jobs in today's work environment is to expand your personal network rather than your business network, and use the former not the latter to generate job leads.

"That's Terribly Cynical"

Some of my clients balk when I first tell them to expand their personal network and use it to generate job leads. "That's terribly cynical," they say. "At least when you do business networking the quid pro quo is overt. Developing friends.h.i.+ps just for business reasons seems dishonest." They're partly right. Developing friends.h.i.+ps for business reasons is amoral, if not immoral. But that's not what I'm suggesting at all.

I don't think you should choose your personal relations.h.i.+ps with an eye toward their business potential. In fact, I'd suggest you avoid that. Instead, I think you should pursue your true interests. (See the box on page 136: Inventory Your Interests.) Join clubs focusing on a pastime you enjoy, not one that has lots of CEOs as members. Pursue hobbies that will bring you joy, not those you think will bring you affluent chums. Become friendly with people whose company you enjoy, who share your values, who make you laugh. If your efforts at expanding your personal networks are phony you'll get neither personal satisfaction nor job leads. That's because you'll never actually make the kind of personal ties you need. If you're just showing up at the chess club simply because you think you'll get job leads there, your ploy will soon be obvious to everyone. Join the chess club because you love chess, and let the job leads develop naturally.

INVENTORY YOUR INTERESTSIf you're at a loss for how to develop or expand a personal network, do an inventory of your interests.What do you like to read? Check with your local bookstores and libraries to see if there's a reading group that caters to that type of book. Do an online search for your favorite authors or genres and see if you can find local or regional fan groups.What type of entertainment do you like? If you love the movies, check to see if there's a film forum or film society in your community. Fans of popular music should explore the local music scene for folk, rock, jazz, and blues clubs. Cla.s.sical music aficionados should check for orchestras, chamber groups, or opera companies.Do you have a talent? Singers should investigate community choirs. Dancers should look for cla.s.ses or troupes, as well as clubs that have regular events. Artists should go to nearby galleries and art-supply stores and check the bulletin boards. Photographers should go to camera stores, musicians to music stores, and crafters to craft stores. Writers should check bookstores for information on writers groups.Are you a sports fan? Look for fan clubs online or at the facility where the team plays. Like to play a sport? Look at the bulletin boards in sporting-good shops and check at facilities catering to the sport.Do you have a hobby? There are lots of hobbyist organizations which that sponsor local chapters. Check online, at hobby shops, or in special-interest magazines. If you haven't pursued a hobby for years, consider picking up one you abandoned when you were younger.Interested in a particular issue or cause? Get involved in the local political committee of a party of your choice. Volunteer at an organization or inst.i.tution whose mission you support.Attend religious services or meeting at the house of wors.h.i.+p of your choice. If you're nervous about meeting strangers, religious services are an excellent way to break the ice. People will go out of their way to be welcoming.

Believe me, leads will develop from your expanded personal network. Become active in a church. Go to the gym and take cla.s.ses or take part in a sports league. Seek out clubs for those who share your hobbies. Pick up the instrument you set aside after college. Learn a foreign language. Take cooking cla.s.ses. Form a book group. Volunteer for a local charitable organization or inst.i.tution.

By expanding your personal network you will meet and develop relations.h.i.+ps with a much wider range of people than if your only interactions are with an alumni group, a professional a.s.sociation, and a business organization. Your personal network will include people from different ethnic groups, religions, communities, economic levels, professions, and industries. Because this personal network includes a wider range of people, it offers you access to more possible job leads. And because your links with these individuals will be personal ones, the leads that do develop will be more powerful and more likely to actually result in a job offer.

David Greenstein's networking had run out of steam by the time he came to see me. A thirty - two - year - old reference librarian working at one of the larger branches of a big-city public library system, David had recently received his master's degree in information-system management. While he believed an information professional like himself was exactly what corporate IT departments needed, he had been unable to land any interviews or meetings other than with other public library systems and a couple of university libraries. I suggested he focus on expanding his personal network instead. Since one of David's interests was politics, he decided to get involved in the mayoral campaign of an independent candidate in the suburb in which he lived. One of the chief fund-raisers for the campaign was an older woman who ran a charitable foundation launched years earlier by a media entrepreneur. On election night she and David chatted and celebrated their candidate's victory. They arranged to have lunch together the next week. Within a month of that lunch David was a.s.suming the newly created position of information architect for the foundation.

"But Won't It Take Too Long?"

Another objection clients sometimes voice to my idea of expanding and using personal networks to generate job leads is that it will take too long. There's some truth to this point as well.

I readily admit that the downside to using your personal network to generate job leads is that those leads, while of a wider range and more powerful, will be slower to develop. While there are instances of love at first sight, and times when people strike up lifelong friends.h.i.+ps quickly, it usually takes time for meaningful personal bonds to form. Business networking, on the other hand, is quicker to generate leads because its sole purpose is mutual self-interest. All that's needed for a business relations.h.i.+p to develop is for the two parties to think they can be of some benefit to each other.

However, in today's job market all business networking does is generate poor leads quickly. The speed of the process doesn't matter, since so little is actually coming from most networking today. In addition, there is a way you can speed up at least part of the process.

As I wrote earlier, and will get back to in more detail in a subsequent chapter, answering cla.s.sified ads and contacting employment agencies is the single best way to get a job - any job - in the short term. (See the box above: How to Find Temporary Relief.) If you need to bring in a stream of income as soon as possible I suggest you use these traditional techniques, and continue trying to generate leads through your business network, at the same time as you expand your personal network. The idea is to get enough income coming in so you can give your personal network the time it needs to generate potentially better job leads and offers.

HOW TO FIND TEMPORARY RELIEFSigning up with a temporary employment agency is one of the best ways I know to quickly generate a stream of income. The days when temps were nothing more than replacement or emergency file clerks and administrative a.s.sistants are over. Today there are temp agencies representing every profession from attorney to xylophone player. In an effort to downsize and save cash, many larger firms have replaced full-time workers who provided support functions with either small service firms or temps. Others, trying to deal with a rapidly changing economy, respond to boosts in business by hiring temps rather than adding staff. Signing up with a temp agency offers a number of advantages. Some provide a better benefits package to their people than would be provided by many full-time employers. Temp agencies offer employees greater flexibility than full-time employers, allowing more freedom to do job fis.h.i.+ng. Being a temp is one of the quickest ways to expand knowledge of different industries. And most important, it's easier to get reemployed through a temp agency than on your own.

Don't worry about this being time-consuming. Remember, you will be doing things you enjoy to expand your personal network. These won't be ch.o.r.es, they'll be pleasures. In fact, these are just the things you've always wanted to have the time to do. Now you're making the time for them and getting both personal and professional advantages from it.

Erin Corbet knew moving from New York City to a small community upstate would complicate her work life. A pastry chef by profession, she was moving because her life partner had landed a tenure-track position at a college upstate. Erin and I worked out a job-fis.h.i.+ng plan prior to her move. A week after moving into their new home, Erin answered a cla.s.sified ad in the local newspaper and landed a job in the bakery department of an upscale supermarket. It was a far cry from the Upper East Side restaurant where she used to work, but it helped pay the bills. Slowly but surely Erin and her partner wove together a social network over the course of a year. At a potluck dinner fund-raiser for a local women's shelter, she met the former owner of a local bistro who was looking to start a new catering business. She hired Erin a week later.

"I Don't Remember How to Make Friends"

The most surprising objection I've heard from clients about my suggestion to expand their personal network was from Jeanie Murrow, a forty - three - year - old attorney who had been out of the job market for six years during which she was home caring for her daughter. "I don't remember how to make friends," Jeanie said to me. "For the past six years I've focused on my daughter's social life, not my own. Before that everyone I met was an attorney, so all we talked about was the law or legal problems." At first I thought Jeanie's fear was unique to her. But then I heard variations on the same theme from other clients. I realized many people have so compartmentalized their lives that they'd either never learned, or had forgotten, how to socialize in social rather than business situations.

Entering a social situation where you don't know anyone can be intimidating. But once you become comfortable wielding some very simple social skills you'll be able to strike up friends.h.i.+ps in almost any setting.

Make sure you have an open, inquisitive mind about meeting new people. Leave your stereotypes at home. Don't think of people in terms of their professions, or their appearance, or their ethnic group. Treat everyone as potentially interesting and a possible future friend. The thirty-something millionaire software executive could be a selfish bore who does nothing for you, while the sixty-something barber could be a fascinating individual who provides just the connection you need.

Appearance Counts While you shouldn't make judgments about the appearance of others, take some care with your own. Appropriateness is what counts in social settings, not fas.h.i.+on. You should be wearing something that is clean and that fits the occasion.

More important than your clothing is your expression and manner. There is no single better way to make friends than to smile when you say h.e.l.lo. Look people in the eye when you're introduced, give a firm but not obnoxious handshake, and repeat their first name back to them. (This is, after all, a social setting, so first names are fine.) For example, when someone says, "h.e.l.lo, I'm Mark Levine," you respond by saying, "h.e.l.lo, Mark, I'm Stephen Pollan, it's nice to meet you."

Engaging with Strangers Ask questions. Everyone has a story to tell, and most people enjoy talking about themselves. Try to frame your questions so they can't be answered with just a yes or a no. When he or she starts to answer, listen closely and don't interrupt. Look the other person in the eye and smile while he or she is talking to you. Nod every so often, and use verbal cues of support like "I see," "yes," "oh really," and even "uh-huh." When the other person stops talking, ask one further question to clarify what he or she has been saying. Any more than that and it will seem like an interrogation rather than a conversation. Don't argue or disagree. It's better to react a beat slow and make sure you're laughing with someone rather than laughing at him or her. Avoid frowning or showing any outward signs you doubt what he or she is saying. Say you can identify with what is being said, but don't turn the conversation to you. That will seem like you're trying to outdo or one-up the other person.

If you can't draw the other person out by asking about him or her, talk about something you share. That could be a mutual interest, such as what brings both to the occasion, or it could be something in the news. It's better to talk about the weather than religion or politics, even if you're in a religious or political setting.

By this point, any polite social person will return your sign of being interested in him or her by asking about you. Take your cue as to how long to talk and how much detail to reveal from his or her answers to your questions. If possible, point out similarities between you and the other person. For example, you could say, "Like you and your wife, I'm new to town." Again, make sure you don't one-up the other person while pointing out similarities. Talk about your current job and future job plans and goals, but don't dwell on work issues. People will want to know what you do, but they'll also want to know who you are. You want them to like you and to want to help you because of their personal connection to you, not because of the company for which you work or the profession you practice.

If the other party doesn't ask you about yourself, or if he or she doesn't look you in the eye when talking, feel free to politely excuse yourself and break off the conversation. There's no need to find an excuse with such people, since they're clearly not interested in speaking with you. Simply offer your hand and say, "I'm glad we met." Then move off to chat with someone else.

Cultivating Friends.h.i.+ps Having made a terrific first impression, you should do all you can to keep it up at subsequent social gatherings. Make sure you're always polite, saying "please," "may I," "thank you," and "you're welcome." It's better to appear overly polite than boorish. Pay attention to details and praise people whenever you can. People like to know that the little things they do are noticed and appreciated by others. Continue to treat everyone as being important.

Offer help whenever it appears needed and don't sulk if others fail to respond in kind immediately. But don't rush to make promises or to take on tasks that you may not be able to keep or do in an effort to ingratiate. That smacks of desperation and only leads to mutual disappointment. Instead, pick your spots and make sure you deliver on your promises. You want to be known as someone who does what he says he's going to do, not someone who tries to do everything.

Finally, make sure that while you're cultivating friends you're not also making enemies. Don't engage in backstabbing or gossip. However, you don't need to criticize it either. Simply don't get into the conversation. If forced to say something, offer up a noncommittal statement like "I really don't know him that well" or "I haven't really thought about it." Remain neutral in feuds and avoid petty politics - there's enough of that at work. In a social setting you should have only friends, acquaintances, and people you don't know.

The more often you speak with someone, the more detail of your work situation you can feel free to reveal. There will be some people who will feel a kins.h.i.+p with you right away and will try to help you find job offers. There will be others for whom it takes a bit of time to feel comfortable endorsing you to third parties. Continue to be a warm, caring individual and eventually they'll come around.

There will also be some people who, while establis.h.i.+ng a friends.h.i.+p with you, never extend the offer of a.s.sistance with your work life. Some people are uncomfortable talking about money or work, or mixing their social and work lives to any extent. Getting to know them isn't a wasted effort, though. You can never have too many friends. And as long as they contribute something to your life, they're well worth having. You never know where friends.h.i.+ps will lead.

Fred Peters Expands His Social Network I received a telephone call from Fred Peters after he'd realized his networking was going nowhere and no one was eager to give him an informational interview. We met for an hour, and I told him about my concept of expanding his personal network and using it as a source of job leads. Fred, a very affable, warm individual, was perfectly suited to this strategy.