Desert Dust Part 8

I stepped to the window, the lower sash of which was up, and gazed out--down into that dust-fogged, noisy, turbulent main street, of floury human beings and grime-smeared beasts almost within touch, boiling about through the narrow lane between the placarded makes.h.i.+ft structures. I lifted my smarting eyes, and across the hot sheet-iron roofs I saw the country south--a white-blotched reddish desert stretching on, desolate, lifeless under the sunset, to a range of stark hills black against the glow.

"There are no private rooms, then?" I asked, choking with a gulp of despair.

"You are perfectly private right here, suh," a.s.sured the Colonel. "You may strip to the hide or you may sleep with your boots on, and no questions asked. Gener'ly speaking, gentlemen prefer to retain a layer of artificial covering--but you ain't troubled much with the bugs, are you, Bill?"

He leveled this query at the frowsy, whiskered man, who had awakened and was blinking contentedly.

"I'm too alkalied, I reckon," Bill responded. "Varmints will leave me any time when there's fresh bait handy. That's why I likes to double up. That there Saint Louee drummer carried off most of 'em from this gent's bed, so he's safe."

"You are again to be congratulated, suh," addressed the Colonel, to me.

"Allow me to interdeuce you. Shake hands with my friend Mr. Bill Brady.

Bill, I present to you a fellow-citizen of mine from grand old New York State."

The frowsy man struggled up, s.h.i.+fted his revolver so as not to sit on it, and extended his hand.

"Proud to make yore acquaintance, sir. Any friend of the Colonel's is a friend o' mine."

"We will likker up directly," the Colonel informed. "But fust the gentleman desires to attend to his person. Mr. Brady, suh," he continued, for my benefit, "is one of our leading citizens, being proprietor of--what is it now, Bill?"

"Wall," said Mr. Brady, "I've pulled out o' the Last Chance and I'm on spec'. The Last Chance got a leetle too much on the brace for healthy play; and when that son of a gun of a miner from South Pa.s.s City shot it up, I quit."

"Naturally," conceded the Colonel. "Mr. Brady," he explained, "has been one of our most distinguished bankers, but he has retired from that industry and is considering other investments."

"The bath-room? Where is it, gentlemen?" I ventured.

"If you will step outside the door, suh, you can hear the splas.h.i.+ng down the hall. It is the custom, however, foh gentlemen at tub to keep the bath-room door closed, in case of ladies promenading. You will have time foh your preliminary toilet and foh a little refreshment and a pasear in town. I judge, with five ahead of you and one in, the clerk was mighty near right when he said about two hours. That allows twenty minutes to each gentleman, which is the limit. A gentleman who requires more than twenty minutes to insure his respectability, suh, is too dirty foh such accommodations. He should resort to the river. Ain't that so, Bill?"

"Perfectly correct, Colonel. I kin take an all-over, myself, in fifteen, whenever it's healthy."

"But a dollar and a half for a twenty minutes' bath in a public tub is rather steep, seems to me," said I, as I removed my coat and opened my bag.

"Not so, suh, if I may question your judgment," the Colonel reproved. "The tub, suh, is private to the person in it. He is never intruded upon unless he hawgs his time or the water disagrees with him. The water, suh, is hauled from the river by a toilsome journey of three miles. You understand, suh, that this great and growing city is founded upon the sheer face of the Red Desert, where the railroad stopped--the river being occupied by a Government reservation named Fort Steele. The Government--the United States Government, suh--having corralled the river where the railroad crosses, until we procure a nearer supply by artesian wells or by laying a pipe line we are public spirited enough to haul our water bodily, for ablution purposes, at ten dollars the barrel, or ten cents, one dime, the bucket. A bath, suh, uses up consider'ble water, even if at a slight reduction you are privileged to double up with another gentleman."

I shuddered at the thought of thus "doubling up." G.o.d, how my stomach sank and my gorge rose as I rummaged through that bag, and with my toilet articles in hand faced the washstand!

They two intently watched my operations; the Colonel craned to peer into my valise--and presently I might interpret his curiosity.

"The prime old bourbon served at the fust-cla.s.s New York bars still maintains its reputation, I dare hope, suh?" he interrogated.

"I cannot say, I'm sure," I replied.

"No, suh," he agreed. "Doubtless you are partial to your own stock. That bottle which I see doesn't happen to be a sample of your favorite preservative?"

"That?" I retorted. "It is toilet water. I am sorry to say I have no liquor with me."

"The deficiency will soon be forgotten, suh," the Colonel bravely consoled. "Bill, we shall have to personally conduct him and provide him with the proper entertainment."

"What is your special line o' business, if you don't mind my axin'?" Bill invited.

"I am out here for my health, at present," said I, vainly hunting a clean spot on the towel. "I have been advised by my physician to seek a place in the Far West that is high and dry. Benton"--and I laughed miserably, "certainly is dry." For now I began to appreciate the frankly affirmative responses to my previous confessions. "And high, judging by the rates."

"Healthily dry, suh, in the matter of water," the Colonel approved. "We are not cursed by the humidity of New York State, grand old State that she is. Foh those who require water, there is the Platte only three miles distant. The nearer proximity of water we consider a detriment to the robustness of a community. Our rainy weather is toler'bly infrequent. The last spell we had--lemme see. There was a brief shower, scurcely enough to sanction a parasol by a lady, last May, warn't it, Bill? When we was camped at Rawlins' Springs, shooting antelope."

"Some'ers about that time. But didn't last long--not more'n two minutes,"

Bill responded.

"As foh fluids demanded by the human system, we are abundantly blessed, suh. There is scurcely any popular brand that you can't get in Benton, and I hold that we have the most skillful mixtologists in history. There are some who are artists; artists, suh. But mainly we prefer our likker straight."

"We're high, too," Bill put in. "Well over seven thousand feet, 'cordin'

to them railroad engineers."

"Yes, suh, you are a mile and more nearer Heaven here in Benton than you were when beside the n.o.ble Hudson," supplemented the Colonel. "And the prices of living are reasonable; foh money, suh, is cheap and ready to hand. No drink is less than two bits, and a man won't tote a match across a street foh less than a drink. Money grows, suh, foh the picking. Our merchants are clearing thirty thousand dollars a month, and the professional gentleman who tries to limit his game is considered a low-down tin-horn. Yes, suh. This is the greatest terminal of the greatest railroad in the known world. It has Omaha, No'th Platte, Cheyenne beat to a frazzle. You cannot fail to prosper." They had been critically watching me wash and rearrange my clothing. "You are not heeled, suh, I see?"

"Heeled?" I repeated.

"Equipped with a shooting-iron, suh. Or do you intend to remedy that deficiency also?"

"I have not been in the habit of carrying arms."

"'Most everybody packs a gun or a bowie," Bill remarked. "Gents and ladies both. But there's no law ag'in not."

I had finished my meager toilet, and was glad, for the espionage had been annoying.

"Now I am at your service during a short period, gentlemen," I announced.

"Later I have an engagement, and shall ask to be excused."

The Colonel arose with alacrity. Bill stood, and seized his hat hanging at the head of the bed.

"A little liquid refreshment is in order fust, I reckon," quoth the Colonel. "I claim the privilege, of course. And after that--you have sporting blood, suh? You will desire to take a turn or two foh the honor of the Empire State?"

The inference was not quite clear. To develop it I replied guardedly, albeit unwilling to pose as a milksop.

"I a.s.suredly am not averse to any legitimate amus.e.m.e.nt."

"That's it," Bill commended. "n.o.body is, who has red in him; and a fellow kin see you've cut yore eye-teeth. What might you prefer, in line of a pa.s.s-the-time, on spec'?"

"What is there, if you please?" I encouraged.

He and the Colonel gravely contemplated each other. Bill scratched his head, and slowly closed one eye.

"There's a good open game of stud at the North Star," he proffered. "I kin get the gentleman a seat. No limit."

"Maybe our friend's luck don't run to stud," hazarded the Colonel. "Stud exacts the powers of concentration, like faro." And he also closed one eye. "It's rather early in the evening foh close quarters. Are you particularly partial to the tiger or the cases, suh?" he queried of me.

"Or would you be able to secure transient happiness in short games, foh a starter, while we move along, like a bee from flower to flower, gathering his honey?"

"If you are referring to card gambling, sir," I answered, "you have chosen a poor companion. But I do not intend to be a spoil sport, and I shall be glad to have you show me whatever you think worth while in the city, so far as I have the leisure."

"That's it, that's it, suh." The Colonel appeared delighted. "Let us libate to the G.o.ds of chance, gentlemen; and then take a stroll."