Mahnu, Her Journey Chapter 3 Part1

CHAPTER 3 (Part one)

Mahnu didn't know how to react to the King's thoughts and her own. After such a long existence, it was surprising that there was still something she had not felt before.

Shaking her head, she decided that it didn't matter. She wanted to help.

It has nothing to do with how he treats her or his voice that even touches her skin. She will find answers, help with a few things and leave like she usually did. Nothing was going to change. I will be on my own again and they will live on...To die...

The thought of life leaving her here all the time, unable to follow others, was still painful to her.

That's right, she thought, I deserve to stay her for eternity. Not even worth crying for.

Mahnu was reminded that she had to endure this till the end, living on as the betrayer of her own kind. For what I have done, living as an immortal and enduring all the sufferings, surely is paying a price. And hopefully, in time, I will pay enough so that I can go into eternal slumber.

It was due to so many reasons, such as loneliness, regret, self-hatred, desperation, the unstoppable continued suffering of the people that Mahnu even lost her speech. With all her might, she tried to stop the feelings and thoughts by helping nonstop by not eating or sleeping but it didn't work.

…It was endless.

Since then, she has continued not to bother to eat and take the people’s food and it has been many centuries now that sleep has deprived her.

She knows her selfish wish for the sufferings to stop so that she could sleep was something that would never happen. She had even tried to put herself in another chest like the other G.o.d’s, feeling that even that would be better than being stuck in Kralaide forever.

And when she had lost her voice, she also had lost the reason to talk.

Talking, she has thought for a long time, can be misunderstood and misleading, I still don't see the point to it.

Mahnu sighed.

Then there was a time when I was in an abandoned, run down, hut and I had laid there unmoving for so long that I was sure I didn't exist for a short period.

I had gotten mentally unstable over all the emotions that had swirled in my head. I didn't know what I had been thinking or feeling anymore, she thought, I couldn't pinpoint what emotion it was. And going through that helped me conclude that I was better off not feeling anything. It was years of starving myself, unmoving on the dirty floor trying to feel and think of absolutely nothing.

Finally, I had figured out that I'm better off not asking questions. I gave myself a small wish then, to sleep and wanted to live by that even though I knew that I was in denial.

What saddens me sometimes is that I can’t go back to that state now, she thought. When I want to feel like nothing, I can’t do it. It’s like I awoke, that the me before was asleep. And now, I can’t seem to close my eyes anymore.

Mahnu didn't quite give up on the concept of being nothing and that's why her wish ends with sleep. What she thinks awoken her was someone that had come in to the hut one day and surprised her when the first thing they did was ask her if she was alright.

That had been enough to revive me from the pitch-black hole I had been in. There were humans that were indeed caring.

That had made me feel bad as I was someone that could help people and there I was wallowing. Wasting my time and feeling useless.

So, with that renewed hope, Mahnu had continued to help the humans but always staying out of sight or leaving them before a connection could be made.

Yes, being alone is my destiny. Because if I get close...Questions...Mahnu breathed in and closed her eyes. If going with the King brings no questions it should be bearable, she thought.

Mahnu silently follows them towards Conrella on horseback, much to her dislike. She was aware of the King's eyes on her, which brought that feeling of embarra.s.sment again.

Why? She asked herself, even though for reasons unknown to her, she found herself liking his attention on her but at the same time unable to meet his eyes.

As the first night came, Mahnu knew the exact second the King had fallen asleep. It was when the past came before her mind and she could remember it vividly.

Again, it was through the eyes of King Maximus and not her own.

“Did they follow?” King Maximus had asked his loyal Knight Daniel.

“Yes, Your Majesty. It is said they are following but taking their time.”

King Maximus had looked over the land that was close to the town now called Nowell, and wondered if it would all end here. If The Chest of the G.o.d’s didn’t work, it was inevitable they would all die or become slaves to the G.o.d’s.

“Your Majesty! King Maximus!”

The King had looked around to find the scout they had dispatched earlier, running towards them and quite breathless. “Your…Majesty…They are…With some of us!...They are all carrying weapons and…armour!”

“Us, meaning humans?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” The scout replied.

The G.o.d’s are playing dirty, King Maximus had thought. Using our own to fight their battles, they really think this is a game!

He had remembered what Mahnu had said about how close she thought that the G.o.d’s had to be for The Chest of the G.o.d’s to work. It shouldn’t be a problem, because once they are in sight the chest will be opened so no one should die.

It is confirmed that all the G.o.d’s have followed us here. Except Mahnu, he had sighed.

“Did you leave Mahnu in Havlish on purpose? Wouldn’t it be the best if all the G.o.d’s get trapped inside the chest?” Mahnu could hear Daniel query King Maximus.

King Maximus had put his hands into fists and looked up. He kept her here because of her talent, he knew she would continue to help the humans. His position of King of this land and people was the reason why he didn’t want her here to be taken with the rest of the G.o.d’s. She will be something good for the people.

The Chest of the G.o.d’s was brought up to the King and when the G.o.d’s were in sight, it was opened. Leaving humans everywhere waking from a dark dream.

Mahnu knew that when one becomes a slave they are bound to the G.o.d who enslaved them to do their bidding. But when they were released she had found out then that they would remember nothing but regain their bodies and minds to themselves once again.

***

The dream had made her gloomy and the next morning she remembered King Maximus purposely leaving her in Havlish. She had decided some time ago not to continue hating him for his decision, that nothing is going to change whether she hated him or not. But being reminded of it again, did irritate her.

I'm stuck here now and that's that, she thought looking out into the distance but not seeing anything. 

The King watched her and looked out as well. What is she thinking about? She looks...Lonely...

Mahnu ignored the King’s thoughts and continued to think. The dreams that the King has had made Mahnu wonder if that had something to do with what King Maximus gave up for The Chest of the G.o.d’s to work. She remembered she couldn’t hear thoughts once she touched the chest and never heard what the others had given up. Was it dreams?

The prophets gave up their future sight, that had become apparent almost straight away.

Within a year or two after that, it became known that Havlish had a plague, taking many lives and the leader had said sadly that it may have been the price for the chest because nothing else was amiss.

If that is true, Mahnu thought, The Chest of the G.o.d’s drained a G.o.d’s power, took about five hundred lives, future sight from the prophets and the dreams of any King of Kralaide.

It was a large payment indeed, Mahnu sighed, is sacrificing five hundred people worth trapping in all those G.o.d’s? Could it have been another payment instead of lives?

Mahnu closed her eyes tight, why do I always find so many questions and so little answers?!

It was silly to her that she couldn’t even remember how the notes of the chest had found her. She had been in Bena, the south-eastern town of Kralaide, following a rumour about some strange happenings. After that her mind had gone blank and till this day she could not remember what had happened. The next thing she knew was waking to see the notes on how to create the chest that will entrap the G.o.d’s.

Before she went to King Maximus with her news, she had to write the words that allocated why the chest had to be used, with good reason, and the notes sadly stated that sacrifices were also needed. That was when she spoke to the prophets at Havlish, on the way there though, she had travelled through Conrella to pick up the chest.

Then…She had really become the betrayer…

King Richard would question her depressed look, making her give him a stern look.

Not a morning person I guess!? He thought looking at her face that only made him want to smile in return. She just looks more desirable when she's angry!

It was easy to tell that something was going on inside her pretty little head as her face seems to skitter in different expressions.

“Would it be something I have done to upset you perhaps?”

Mahnu stared at him for a moment then shock her head.

The King looked down at her. Clearly her answer wasn’t good enough but Mahnu did not want to speak. How could she start now, on this topic, when she hadn’t spoken on more critical issues in the past!?

“Does that mean that what I’ve done so far is appropriate behaviour?”

Mahnu didn’t know how to respond. Was this some kind of trap? Was he using the fact she didn’t talk to his advantage?

Before she could come up with either a shake or nod of her head, the King interrupted her, “That’s great then. I will continue to be myself!”

Her eyes widened, which made him laugh.

He didn't understand his need to want to constantly know what she is thinking. Because of her stern look, he said blankly, that he was worried and cared for her and that's why he had asked.

“So, don't pull that face on me!” He said pointing a finger at her.

She remembered her past that held memories of a little girl and a young boy and believed that she was becoming too close to the King. Also, being close to someone, she knew she would have to endure useless emotions.

Deciding on watching from a far instead, she left the party silently.

***