The Anatomy of Melancholy Part 79

Aeneas Sylvius puts in a caveat against princes' courts, because there be _tot formosi juvenes qui promittunt_, so many brave suitors to tempt, &c.

[6123]"If you leave her in such a place, you shall likely find her in company you like not, either they come to her, or she is gone to them."

[6124]Kornmannus makes a doubting jest in his lascivious country, _Virginis illibata censeatur ne cast.i.tas ad quam frequentur accedant scholares_? And Baldus the lawyer scoffs on, _quum scholaris, inquit, loquitur c.u.m puella, non praesumitur ei dicere, Pater noster_, when a scholar talks with a maid, or another man's wife in private, it is presumed he saith not a _pater noster_. Or if I shall see a monk or a friar climb up a ladder at midnight into a virgin's or widow's chamber window, I shall hardly think he then goes to administer the sacraments, or to take her confession. These are the ordinary causes of jealousy, which are intended or remitted as the circ.u.mstances vary.

MEMB. II.

_Symptoms of Jealousy, Fear, Sorrow, Suspicion, strange Actions, Gestures, Outrages, Locking up, Oaths, Trials, Laws, &c._

Of all pa.s.sions, as I have already proved, love is most violent, and of those bitter potions which this love-melancholy affords, this b.a.s.t.a.r.d jealousy is the greatest, as appears by those prodigious symptoms which it hath, and that it produceth. For besides fear and sorrow, which is common to all melancholy, anxiety of mind, suspicion, aggravation, restless thoughts, paleness, meagreness, neglect of business, and the like, these men are farther yet misaffected, and in a higher strain. 'Tis a more vehement pa.s.sion, a more furious perturbation, a bitter pain, a fire, a pernicious curiosity, a gall corrupting the honey of our life, madness, vertigo, plague, h.e.l.l, they are more than ordinarily disquieted, they lose _bonum pacis_, as [6125]Chrysostom observes; and though they be rich, keep sumptuous tables, be n.o.bly allied, yet _miserrimi omnium sunt_, they are most miserable, they are more than ordinarily discontent, more sad, _nihil tristius_, more than ordinarily suspicious. Jealousy, saith [6126]Vives, "begets unquietness in the mind, night and day: he hunts after every word he hears, every whisper, and amplifies it to himself" (as all melancholy men do in other matters) "with a most unjust calumny of others, he misinterprets everything is said or done, most apt to mistake or misconstrue," he pries into every corner, follows close, observes to a hair. 'Tis proper to jealousy so to do,

"Pale hag, infernal fury, pleasure's smart, Envy's observer, prying in every part."

Besides those strange gestures of staring, frowning, grinning, rolling of eyes, menacing, ghastly looks, broken pace, interrupt, precipitate, half-turns. He will sometimes sigh, weep, sob for anger. _Nempe suos imbres etiam ista tonitrua fundunt_,[6127]--swear and belie, slander any man, curse, threaten, brawl, scold, fight; and sometimes again flatter and speak fair, ask forgiveness, kiss and coll, condemn his rashness and folly, vow, protest, and swear he will never do so again; and then eftsoons, impatient as he is, rave, roar, and lay about him like a madman, thump her sides, drag her about perchance, drive her out of doors, send her home, he will be divorced forthwith, she is a wh.o.r.e, &c., and by-and-by with all submission compliment, entreat her fair, and bring her in again, he loves her dearly, she is his sweet, most kind and loving wife, he will not change, nor leave her for a kingdom; so he continues off and on, as the toy takes him, the object moves him, but most part brawling, fretting, unquiet he is, accusing and suspecting not strangers only, but brothers and sisters, father and mother, nearest and dearest friends. He thinks with those Italians,

"Chi non tocca parentado, Tocca mai e rado."

And through fear conceives unto himself things almost incredible and impossible to be effected. As a heron when she fishes, still prying on all sides; or as a cat doth a mouse, his eye is never off hers; he gloats on him, on her, accurately observing on whom she looks, who looks at her, what she saith, doth, at dinner, at supper, sitting, walking, at home, abroad, he is the same, still inquiring, maundering, gazing, listening, affrighted with every small object; why did she smile, why did she pity him, commend him? why did she drink twice to such a man? why did she offer to kiss, to dance? &c., a wh.o.r.e, a wh.o.r.e, an arrant wh.o.r.e. All this he confesseth in the poet,

[6128] "Omnia me terrent, timidus sum, ignosce timori.

Et miser in tunica suspicor esse virum.

Me laedit si multa tibi dabit oscula mater, Me soror, et c.u.m qua dormit amica simul."

"Each thing affrights me, I do fear, Ah pardon me my fear, I doubt a man is hid within The clothes that thou dost wear."

Is it not a man in woman's apparel? is not somebody in that great chest, or behind the door, or hangings, or in some of those barrels? may not a man steal in at the window with a ladder of ropes, or come down the chimney, have a false key, or get in when he is asleep? If a mouse do but stir, or the wind blow, a cas.e.m.e.nt clatter, that's the villain, there he is: by his goodwill no man shall see her, salute her, speak with her, she shall not go forth of his sight, so much as to do her needs. [6129]_Non ita bovem argus_, &c. Argus did not so keep his cow, that watchful dragon the golden fleece, or Cerberus the coming in of h.e.l.l, as he keeps his wife. If a dear friend or near kinsman come as guest to his house, to visit him, he will never let him be out of his own sight and company, lest, peradventure, &c.

If the necessity of his business be such that he must go from home, he doth either lock her up, or commit her with a deal of injunctions and protestations to some trusty friends, him and her he sets and bribes to oversee: one servant is set in his absence to watch another, and all to observe his wife, and yet all this will not serve, though his business be very urgent, he will when he is halfway come back in all post haste, rise from supper, or at midnight, and be gone, and sometimes leave his business undone, and as a stranger court his own wife in some disguised habit.

Though there be no danger at all, no cause of suspicion, she live in such a place, where Messalina herself could not be dishonest if she would, yet he suspects her as much as if she were in a bawdy-house, some prince's court, or in a common inn, where all comers might have free access. He calls her on a sudden all to nought, she is a strumpet, a light housewife, a b.i.t.c.h, an arrant wh.o.r.e. No persuasion, no protestation can divert this pa.s.sion, nothing can ease him, secure or give him satisfaction. It is most strange to report what outrageous acts by men and women have been committed in this kind, by women especially, that will run after their husbands into all places and companies, [6130]as Jovia.n.u.s Ponta.n.u.s's wife did by him, follow him whithersoever he went, it matters not, or upon what business, raving like Juno in the tragedy, miscalling, cursing, swearing, and mistrusting every one she sees. Gomesius in his third book of the Life and Deeds of Francis Ximenius, sometime archbishop of Toledo, hath a strange story of that incredible jealousy of Joan queen of Spain, wife to King Philip, mother of Ferdinand and Charles the Fifth, emperors; when her husband Philip, either for that he was tired with his wife's jealousy, or had some great business, went into the Low Countries: she was so impatient and melancholy upon his departure, that she would scarce eat her meat, or converse with any man; and though she were with child, the season of the year very bad, the wind against her, in all haste she would to sea after him. Neither Isabella her queen mother, the archbishop, or any other friend could persuade her to the contrary, but she would after him. When she was now come into the Low Countries, and kindly entertained by her husband, she could not contain herself, [6131]"but in a rage ran upon a yellow-haired wench," with whom she suspected her husband to be naught, "cut off her hair, did beat her black and blue, and so dragged her about." It is an ordinary thing for women in such cases to scratch the faces, slit the noses of such as they suspect; as Henry the Second's importune Juno did by Rosamond at Woodstock; for she complains in a [6132]modern poet, she scarce spake,

"But flies with eager fury to my face, Offering me most unwomanly disgrace.

Look how a tigress, &c.

So fell she on me in outrageous wise, As could disdain and jealousy devise."

Or if it be so they dare not or cannot execute any such tyrannical injustice, they will miscall, rail and revile, bear them deadly hate and malice, as [6133]Tacitus observes, "The hatred of a jealous woman is inseparable against such as she suspects."

[6134] "Nulla vis flammae tumidique venti Tanta, nec teli metuanda torti.

Quanta c.u.m conjux viduata taedis Ardet et odit."

"Winds, weapons, flames make not such hurly burly, As raving women turn all topsy-turvy."

So did Agrippina by Lollia, and Calphurnia in the days of Claudius. But women are sufficiently curbed in such cases, the rage of men is more eminent, and frequently put in practice. See but with what rigour those jealous husbands tyrannise over their poor wives. In Greece, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Africa, Asia, and generally over all those hot countries, [6135]

_Mulieres vestrae terra vestra, arate sicut vultis_. Mahomet in his Alcoran gives this power to men, your wives are as your land, till them, use them, entreat them fair or foul, as you will yourselves. [6136]_Mecastor lege dura vivunt mulieres_, they lock them still in their houses, which are so many prisons to them. will suffer n.o.body to come at them, or their wives to be seen abroad,--_nec campos liceat l.u.s.trare patentes_. They must not so much as look out. And if they be great persons, they have eunuchs to keep them, as the Grand Signior among the Turks, the Sophies of Persia, those Tartarian Mogors, and Kings of China. _Infantes masculos castrant innumeros ut regi serviant_, saith [6137]Riccius, "they geld innumerable infants" to this purpose; the King of [6138]China "maintains 10,000 eunuchs in his family to keep his wives." The Xeriffes of Barbary keep their courtesans in such a strict manner, that if any man come but in sight of them he dies for it; and if they chance to see a man, and do not instantly cry out, though from their windows, they must be put to death. The Turks have I know not how many black, deformed eunuchs (for the white serve for other ministeries) to this purpose sent commonly from Egypt, deprived in their childhood of all their privities, and brought up in the seraglio at Constantinople to keep their wives; which are so penned up they may not confer with any living man, or converse with younger women, have a cuc.u.mber or carrot sent into them for their diet, but sliced, for fear, &c. and so live and are left alone to their unchaste thoughts all the days of their lives. The vulgar sort of women, if at any time they come abroad, which is very seldom, to visit one another, or to go to their baths, are so covered, that no man can see them, as the matrons were in old Rome, _lectica aut sella tecta, vectae_, so [6139]Dion and Seneca record, _Velatae totae incedunt_, which [6140]Alexander ab Alexandro relates of the Parthians, _lib. 5. cap. 24._ which, with Andreas Tiraquellus his commentator, I rather think should be understood of Persians. I have not yet said all, they do not only lock them up, _sed et pudendis seras adhibent_: hear what Bembus relates _lib. 6._ of his Venetian history, of those inhabitants that dwell about Quilon in Africa. _Lusitani, inquit, quorundum civitates adierunt: qui natis statim faeminis naturam consuunt, quoad urinae exitus ne impediatur, easque quum adoleverint sic consutas in matrimonium collocant, ut sponsi prima cura sit conglutinatas puellae oras ferro interscindere_. In some parts of Greece at this day, like those old Jews, they will not believe their wives are honest, _nisi pannum menstruatum prima nocte videant_: our countryman [6141]Sands, in his peregrination, saith it is severely observed in Zanzynthus, or Zante; and Leo Afer in his time at Fez, in Africa, _non credunt virginem esse nisi videant sanguineam mappam; si non, ad parentes pudore rejicitur_. Those sheets are publicly shown by their parents, and kept as a sign of incorrupt virginity. The Jews of old examined their maids _ex tenui membrana_, called Hymen, which Laurentius in his anatomy, Columbus _lib. 12. cap. 10._ Capivaccius _lib.

4. cap. 11. de uteri affectibus_, Vincent, Alsarus Genuensis _quaesit. med.

cent. 4._ Hieronymus Mercurialis _consult._ Ambros. Pareus, Julius Caesar Claudinus _Respons. 4._ as that also _de [6142]ruptura venarum ut sauguis fluat_, copiously confute; 'tis no sufficient trial they contend. And yet others again defend it, Gaspar Bartholinus _Inst.i.tut. Anat. lib. 1. cap.

31._ Pinaeus of Paris, Albertus Magnus _de secret. mulier. cap. 9 & 10._ &c. and think they speak too much in favour of women. [6143] Ludovicus Boncialus _lib. 4. cap. 2. muliebr._ _naturalem illam uteri labiorum constrictionem, in qua virginitatem consistere volunt, astringentibus medicinis fieri posse vendicat, et si defloratae sint, astutae [6144]mulieres (inquit) nos fallunt in his. Idem Alsarius Crucius Genuensis iisdem fere verbis_. Idem Avicenna _lib. 3. Fen. 20. Tract. 1, cap. 47._ [6145]Rhasis _Continent. lib. 24._ Rodericus a Castro _de nat. mul. lib. 1.

cap. 3._ An old bawdy nurse in [6146]Aristaenetus, (like that Spanish Caelestina, [6147]_quae, quinque mille virgines fecit mulieres, totidemque mulieres arte sua virgines_) when a fair maid of her acquaintance wept and made her moan to her, how she had been deflowered, and now ready to be married, was afraid it would be perceived, comfortably replied, _Noli vereri filia_, &c. "Fear not, daughter, I'll teach thee a trick to help it." _Sed haec extra callem._ To what end are all those astrological questions, _an sit virgo, an sit casta, an sit mulier_? and such strange absurd trials in Albertus Magnus, Bap. Porta, _Mag. lib. 2. cap. 21._ in Wecker. _lib. 5. de secret_, by stones, perfumes, to make them p.i.s.s, and confess I know not what in their sleep; some jealous brain was the first founder of them. And to what pa.s.sion may we ascribe those severe laws against jealousy, Num. v. 14, Adulterers Deut. cap. 22. v. xxii. as amongst the Hebrews, amongst the Egyptians (read [6148]Bohemus _l. 1. c. 5. de mor.

gen._ of the Carthaginians, _cap. 6._ of Turks, _lib. 2. cap. 11._) amongst the Athenians of old, Italians at this day, wherein they are to be severely punished, cut in pieces, burned, _vivi-comburio_, buried alive, with several expurgations, &c. are they not as so many symptoms of incredible jealousy? we may say the same of those vestal virgins that fetched water in a sieve, as Tatia did in Rome, _anno ab. urb. condita 800._ before the senators; and [6149]Aemilia, _virgo innocens_, that ran over hot irons, as Emma, Edward the Confessor's mother did, the king himself being a spectator, with the like. We read in Nicephorus, that Chunegunda the wife of Henricus Bavarus emperor, suspected of adultery, _insimulata adulterii per ignitos vomeres illaesa transiit_, trod upon red hot coulters, and had no harm: such another story we find in Regino _lib. 2._ In Aventinus and Sigonius of Charles the Third and his wife Richarda, _an._ 887, that was so purged with hot irons. Pausanias saith, that he was once an eyewitness of such a miracle at Diana's temple, a maid without any harm at all walked upon burning coals. Pius Secund. in his description of Europe, _c. 46._ relates as much, that it was commonly practised at Diana's temple, for women to go barefoot over hot coals, to try their honesties: Plinius, Solinus, and many writers, make mention of [6150]Geronia's temple, and Dionysius Halicarna.s.sus, _lib. 3._ of Memnon's statue, which were used to this purpose. Tatius _lib. 6._ of Pan his cave, (much like old St.

Wilfrid's needle in Yorks.h.i.+re) wherein they did use to try, maids, [6151]whether they were honest; when Leucippe went in, _suavissimus exaudiri sonus caepit_ Austin _de civ. Dei lib. 10. c. 16._ relates many such examples, all which Lavater _de spectr. part. 1. cap. 19_ contends to be done by the illusion of devils; though Thomas _quaest. 6. de polentia_, &c. ascribes it to good angels. Some, saith [6152]Austin, compel their wives to swear they be honest, as if perjury were a lesser sin than adultery; [6153]some consult oracles, as Phaerus that blind king of Egypt.

Others reward, as those old Romans used to do; if a woman were contented with one man, _Corona pudicitiae donabatur_, she had a crown of chast.i.ty bestowed on her. When all this will not serve, saith Alexander Gaguinus, _cap. 5. descript. Muscoviae_, the Muscovites, if they suspect their wives, will beat them till they confess, and if that will not avail, like those wild Irish, be divorced at their pleasures, or else knock them on the heads, as the old [6154]Gauls have done in former ages. Of this tyranny of jealousy read more in Parthenius _Erot. cap. 10._ Camerarius _cap. 53. hor.

subcis. et cent. 2. cap. 34._ Caelia's epistles, Tho. Chaloner _de repub.

Aug. lib. 9._ Ariosto _lib. 31. sta.s.se 1._ Felix Platerus _observat. lib.

1._ &c.

MEMB. III.

_Prognostics of Jealousy. Despair, Madness, to make away themselves and others_.

Those which are jealous, most part, if they be not otherwise relieved, [6155]"proceed from suspicion to hatred, from hatred to frenzy, madness, injury, murder and despair."

[6156] "A plague by whose most d.a.m.nable effect.

Divers in deep despair to die have sought, By which a man to madness near is brought, As well with causeless as with just suspect."

In their madness many times, saith [6157]Vives, they make away themselves and others. Which induceth Cyprian to call it, _Foecundam et multiplicem perniciem, fontem cladium et seminarium delictorum_, a fruitful mischief, the seminary of offences, and fountain of murders. Tragical examples are too common in this kind, both new and old, in all ages, as of [6158]

Cephalus and Procris, [6159]Phaereus of Egypt, Tereus, Atreus, and Thyestes. [6160]Alexander Phaereus was murdered of his wife, _ob pellicatus suspitionem_, Tully saith. Antoninus Verus was so made away by Lucilla; Demetrius the son of Antigonus, and Nicanor, by their wives. Hercules poisoned by Dejanira, [6161]Caecinna murdered by Vespasian, Justina, a Roman lady, by her husband. [6162]Amestris, Xerxes' wife, because she found her husband's cloak in Masista's house, cut off Masista, his wife's paps, and gave them to the dogs, flayed her besides, and cut off her ears, lips, tongue, and slit the nose of Artaynta her daughter. Our late writers are full of such outrages.

[6163]Paulus Aemilius, in his history of France, hath a tragical story of Chilpericus the First his death, made away by Ferdegunde his queen. In a jealous humour he came from hunting, and stole behind his wife, as she was dressing and combing her head in the sun, gave her a familiar touch with his wand, which she mistaking for her lover, said, "Ah Landre, a good knight should strike before, and not behind:" but when she saw herself betrayed by his presence, she instantly took order to make him away.

Hierome Osorius, in his eleventh book of the deeds of Emanuel King of Portugal, to this effect hath a tragical narration of one Ferdinandus Chalderia, that wounded Gotherinus, a n.o.ble countryman of his, at Goa in the East Indies, [6164]"and cut off one of his legs, for that he looked as he thought too familiarly upon his wife, which was afterwards a cause of many quarrels, and much bloodshed." Guianerius _cap. 36. de aegritud.

matr._ speaks of a silly jealous fellow, that seeing his child new-born included in a caul, thought sure a [6165]Franciscan that used to come to his house, was the father of it, it was so like the friar's cowl, and thereupon threatened the friar to kill him: Fulgosus of a woman in Narbonne, that cut off her husband's privities in the night, because she thought he played false with her. The story of Jonuses Ba.s.sa, and fair Manto his wife, is well known to such as have read the Turkish history; and that of Joan of Spain, of which I treated in my former section. Her jealousy, saith Gomesius, was the cause of both their deaths: King Philip died for grief a little after, as [6166]Martian his physician gave it out, "and she for her part after a melancholy discontented life, misspent in lurking-holes and corners, made an end of her miseries." Felix Plater, in the first book of his observations, hath many such instances, of a physician of his acquaintance, [6167]"that was first mad through jealousy, and afterwards desperate:" of a merchant [6168]"that killed his wife in the same humour, and after precipitated himself:" of a doctor of law that cut off his man's nose: of a painter's wife in Basil, anno 1600, that was mother of nine children and had been twenty-seven years married, yet afterwards jealous, and so impatient that she became desperate, and would neither eat nor drink in her own house, for fear her husband should poison her. 'Tis a common sign this; for when once the humours are stirred, and the imagination misaffected, it will vary itself in divers forms; and many such absurd symptoms will accompany, even madness itself. Skenkius _observat. lib. 4. cap. de Uter._ hath an example of a jealous woman that by this means had many fits of the mother: and in his first book of some that through jealousy ran mad: of a baker that gelded himself to try his wife's honesty, &c. Such examples are too common.

MEMB. IV.

SUBSECT I.--_Cure of Jealousy; by avoiding occasions, not to be idle: of good counsel; to contemn it, not to watch or lock them up: to dissemble it, &c._

As of all other melancholy, some doubt whether this malady may be cured or no, they think 'tis like the [6169]gout, or Switzers, whom we commonly call Walloons, those hired soldiers, if once they take possession of a castle, they can never be got out.

"Qui timet ut sua sit, ne quis sibi subtrahat illam, Ille Machaonia vix ope salvus est."

[6170] "This is the cruel wound against whose smart, No liquor's force prevails, or any plaister, No skill of stars, no depth of magic art, Devised by that great clerk Zoroaster, A wound that so infects the soul and heart, As all our sense and reason it doth master; A wound whose pang and torment is so durable, As it may rightly called be incurable."

Yet what I have formerly said of other melancholy, I will say again, it may be cured or mitigated at least by some contrary pa.s.sion, good counsel and persuasion, if it be withstood in the beginning, maturely resisted, and as those ancients hold, [6171]"the nails of it be pared before they grow too long." No better means to resist or repel it than by avoiding idleness, to be still seriously busied about some matters of importance, to drive out those vain fears, foolish fantasies and irksome suspicions out of his head, and then to be persuaded by his judicious friends, to give ear to their good counsel and advice, and wisely to consider, how much he discredits himself, his friends, dishonours his children, disgraceth his family, publisheth his shame, and as a trumpeter of his own misery, divulgeth, macerates, grieves himself and others; what an argument of weakness it is, how absurd a thing in its own nature, how ridiculous, how brutish a pa.s.sion, how sottish, how odious; for as [6172]Hierome well hath it, _Odium sui facit, et ipse novissime sibi odio est_, others hate him, and at last he hates himself for it; how harebrain a disease, mad and furious. If he will but hear them speak, no doubt he may be cured. [6173]Joan, queen of Spain, of whom I have formerly spoken, under pretence of changing air was sent to Complutum, or Alcada de las Heneras, where Ximenius the archbishop of Toledo then lived, that by his good counsel (as for the present she was) she might be eased. [6174]"For a disease of the soul, if concealed, tortures and overturns it, and by no physic can sooner be removed than by a discreet man's comfortable speeches." I will not here insert any consolatory sentences to this purpose, or forestall any man's invention, but leave it every one to dilate and amplify as he shall think fit in his own judgment: let him advise with Siracides _cap. 9. 1._ "Be not jealous over the wife of thy bosom;" read that comfortable and pithy speech to this purpose of Ximenius, in the author himself, as it is recorded by Gomesius; consult with Chaloner _lib. 9. de repub. Anglor._ or Caelia in her epistles, &c. Only this I will add, that if it be considered aright, which causeth this jealous pa.s.sion, be it just or unjust, whether with or without cause, true or false, it ought not so heinously to be taken; 'tis no such real or capital matter, that it should make so deep a wound. 'Tis a blow that hurts not, an insensible smart, grounded many times upon false suspicion alone, and so fostered by a sinister conceit. If she be not dishonest, he troubles and macerates himself without a cause; or put case which is the worst, he be a cuckold, it cannot be helped, the more he stirs in it, the more he aggravates his own misery. How much better were it in such a case to dissemble or contemn it? why should that be feared which cannot be redressed? _multae tandem deposuerunt_ (saith [6175]Vives) _quum flecti maritos non posse vident_, many women, when they see there is no remedy, have been pacified; and shall men be more jealous than women? 'Tis some comfort in such a case to have companions, _Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris_; Who can say he is free? Who can a.s.sure himself he is not one _de praeterito_, or secure himself _de futuro_? If it were his case alone, it were hard; but being as it is almost a common calamity, 'tis not so grievously to be taken. If a man have a lock, which every man's key will open, as well as his own, why should he think to keep it private to himself? In some countries they make nothing of it, _ne n.o.biles quidem_, saith [6176]Leo Afer, in many parts of Africa (if she be past fourteen) there's not a n.o.bleman that marries a maid, or that hath a chaste wife; 'tis so common; as the moon gives horns once a month to the world, do they to their husbands at least. And 'tis most part true which that Caledonian lady, [6177]Argetocovus, a British prince's wife, told Julia Augusta, when she took her up for dishonesty, "We Britons are naught at least with some few choice men of the better sort, but you Romans lie with every base knave, you are a company of common wh.o.r.es." Severus the emperor in his time made laws for the restraint of this vice; and as [6178]Dion Nicaeus relates in his life, _tria millia maechorum_, three thousand cuckold-makers, or _naturae monetam adulterantes_, as Philo calls them, false coiners, and clippers of nature's money, were summoned into the court at once. And yet, _Non omnem molitor quae fluit undam videt_, "the miller sees not all the water that goes by his mill:" no doubt, but, as in our days, these were of the commonalty, all the great ones were not so much as called in question for it. [6179]Martial's Epigram I suppose might have been generally applied in those licentious times, _Omnia solus habes_, &c., thy goods, lands, money, wits are thine own, _Uxorem sed habes Candide c.u.m populo_; but neighbour Candidus your wife is common: husband and cuckold in that age it seems were reciprocal terms; the emperors themselves did wear Actaeon's badge; how many Caesars might I reckon up together, and what a catalogue of cornuted kings and princes in every story? Agamemnon, Menelaus, Philippus of Greece, Ptolomeus of Egypt, Lucullus, Caesar, Pompeius, Cato, Augustus, Antonius, Antoninus, &c., that wore fair plumes of bull's feathers in their crests. The bravest soldiers and most heroical spirits could not avoid it.

They have been active and pa.s.sive in this business, they have either given or taken horns. [6180]King Arthur, whom we call one of the nine worthies, for all his great valour, was unworthily served by Mordred, one of his round table knights: and Guithera, or Helena Alba, his fair wife, as Leland interprets it, was an arrant honest woman. _Parcerem libenter_ (saith mine [6181]author) _Heroinarum laesae majestati, si non historiae veritas aurem vellicaret_, I could willingly wink at a fair lady's faults, but that I am bound by the laws of history to tell the truth: against his will, G.o.d knows, did he write it, and so do I repeat it. I speak not of our times all this while, we have good, honest, virtuous men and women, whom fame, zeal, fear of G.o.d, religion and superst.i.tion contains: and yet for all that, we have many knights of this order, so dubbed by their wives, many good women abused by dissolute husbands. In some places, and such persons you may as soon enjoin them to carry water in a sieve, as to keep themselves honest.

What shall a man do now in such a case? What remedy is to be had? how shall he be eased? By suing a divorce? this is hard to be effected: _si non caste, tamen caute_ they carry the matter so cunningly, that though it be as common as simony, as clear and as manifest as the nose in a man's face, yet it cannot be evidently proved, or they likely taken in the fact: they will have a knave Gallus to watch, or with that Roman [6182]Sulpitia, all made fast and sure,

"Ne se Cadurcis dest.i.tutam fasciis, Nudam Caleno conc.u.mbentem videat."

"she will hardly be surprised by her husband, be he never so wary." Much better then to put it up: the more he strives in it, the more he shall divulge his own shame: make a virtue of necessity, and conceal it. Yea, but the world takes notice of it, 'tis in every man's mouth: let them talk their pleasure, of whom speak they not in this sense? From the highest to the lowest they are thus censured all: there is no remedy then but patience. It may be 'tis his own fault, and he hath no reason to complain, 'tis _quid pro quo_, she is bad, he is worse: [6183]"Bethink thyself, hast thou not done as much for some of thy neighbours? why dost thou require that of thy wife, which thou wilt not perform thyself?" Thou rangest like a town bull, [6184]"why art thou so incensed if she tread, awry?"

[6185] "Be it that some woman break chaste wedlock's laws, And leaves her husband and becomes unchaste: Yet commonly it is not without cause, She sees her man in sin her goods to waste, She feels that he his love from her withdraws, And hath on some perhaps less worthy placed.

Who strike with sword, the scabbard them may strike, And sure love craveth love, like asketh like."

_Ea semper studebit_, saith [6186]Nevisa.n.u.s, _pares reddere vices_, she will quit it if she can. And therefore, as well adviseth Siracides, _cap.

ix. 1._ "teach her not an evil lesson against thyself," which as Jansenius, Lyra.n.u.s, on his text, and Carthusia.n.u.s interpret, is no otherwise to be understood than that she do thee not a mischief. I do not excuse her in accusing thee; but if both be naught, mend thyself first; for as the old saying is, a good husband makes a good wife.

Yea but thou repliest, 'tis not the like reason betwixt man and woman, through her fault my children are b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, I may not endure it; [6187]_Sit amarulenta, sit imperiosa prodiga_, &c. Let her scold, brawl, and spend, I care not, _modo sit casta_, so she be honest, I could easily bear it; but this I cannot, I may not, I will not; "my faith, my fame, mine eye must not be touched," as the diverb is, _Non pat.i.tur tactum fama, fides, oculus._ I say the same of my wife, touch all, use all, take all but this. I acknowledge that of Seneca to be true, _Nullius boni jucunda possessio sine socio_, there is no sweet content in the possession of any good thing without a companion, this only excepted, I say, "This." And why this? Even this which thou so much abhorrest, it may be for thy progeny's good, [6188]

better be any man's son than thine, to be begot of base Irus, poor Seius, or mean Mevius, the town swineherd's, a shepherd's son: and well is he, that like Hercules he hath any two fathers; for thou thyself hast peradventure more diseases than a horse, more infirmities of body and mind, a cankered soul, crabbed conditions, make the worst of it, as it is _vulnus insanabile, sic vulnus insensibile_, as it is incurable, so it is insensible. But art thou sure it is so? [6189]_res agit ille tuas_? "doth he so indeed?" It may be thou art over-suspicious, and without a cause as some are: if it be _octimestris partus_, born at eight months, or like him, and him, they fondly suspect he got it; if she speak or laugh familiarly with such or such men, then presently she is naught with them; such is thy weakness; whereas charity, or a well-disposed mind, would interpret all unto the best. St. Francis, by chance seeing a friar familiarly kissing another man's wife, was so far from misconceiving it, that he presently kneeled down and thanked G.o.d there was so much charity left: but they on the other side will ascribe nothing to natural causes, indulge nothing to familiarity, mutual society, friends.h.i.+p: but out of a sinister suspicion, presently lock them close, watch them, thinking by those means to prevent all such inconveniences, that's the way to help it; whereas by such tricks they do aggravate the mischief. 'Tis but in vain to watch that which will away.

[6190] "Nec custodiri si velit ulla potest; Nec mentem servare potes, licet omnia serves; Omnibus exclusis, intus adulter erit."

"None can be kept resisting for her part; Though body be kept close, within her heart Advoutry lurks, t'exclude it there's no art."