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"You don't sound fine, and I don't understand."
"I think it's best if you don't come around anymore. You don't have time for me anyway, and this would be easier for us both. Thanks for everything you've done for me."
"Wait, wait. Are you breaking up with me? Talia please-"
"We were never together, but if you have to give it a name, then yes. I guess I'm breaking up with you." A frantic Jacob was making silent gestures at her to stop, but Talia waved him away. "I'm sorry."
"No, this can't be happening. Talia, I told you how much I care about you. I meant that. I didn't come to visit this morning because I was on a call, and then I was so exhausted I went to bed." Talia thought she heard Kelly's voice tremble as she spoke. "You have to believe me."
"I do. Thanks, Kelly." She ended the call and shut off her phone. With shaky hands she carefully placed it in her pocket.
"What the h.e.l.l did you just do?" Jacob asked.
"I stopped it before it got too far. You have to understand. I didn't want to hurt her, and I sure as h.e.l.l don't want her to hurt me, so I figure it's easier this way."
"I'm going to guess that hurting her is exactly what you just did. Why would you tell her not to come around anymore? I thought there was something between you two."
"There was. But only from my end." Talia looked down at her hands as she twiddled with the tissue.
"What happened?"
Talia blew her nose. "She was just feeling sorry for me. Maybe it was the excitement of what we went through. You remember the movie Speed? Relations.h.i.+ps made in dangerous circ.u.mstances never work out."
Jacob was quiet for a long time, and Talia worried he was mad at her.
"I'm sorry, Talia. I still think she's a good woman and would be a fine match for you."
"She is a good woman. Don't get me wrong. Kelly's a wonderful person, but I'm not what she wants. She's got other priorities."
Jacob hugged her. "She won't be the last one. We'll find Ms. Right. You just wait and see."
Talia leaned her head on his shoulder. She wanted to cry, but didn't have any more tears to shed.
KELLY FELT NUMB. She stared at her cell phone as if it would come to life and explain what had just happened. How could Talia break up with her before they'd even had a chance to be together? Kelly thought they were friends. Maybe more, but definitely friends. What did Talia mean that Kelly didn't have time for her? They'd only known each other a few short weeks. Twice Kelly had been late and once she didn't show up. Was that all it took?
The tears rolled down her cheeks as Kelly struggled to understand. Talia was in her thoughts constantly every day. Kelly had been planning their date, looking forward to a chance at a relations.h.i.+p with her. Wanting to kiss her again, to hold Talia in her arms. How could she comprehend not seeing her anymore?
"f.u.c.k!" Kelly hadn't meant to yell, but her outburst brought Marina in to her bedroom.
"What's wrong?"
Kelly wanted to explain, but choked on her words. She sat on the edge of her bed, the cell phone still in her hand. "She doesn't want to see me."
"That's crazy." Marina sat beside her. "Tell me what she said."
Kelly told her about their conversation. "I didn't realize I'd screwed up so badly, Ma."
"You didn't screw up. Just give her a few days and call her back. Let her settle down, and you can try again."
"Yeah, maybe you're right," Kelly lied and rose to put the cell phone in its charger on her dresser.
"You want to finish dinner?"
"No thanks." Kelly shooed her mother off the bed. "I think I'll just sleep. Things look better in the morning, right?"
"You bet." Marina kissed her on the forehead. "You sure you're okay? If you need to talk..."
"I don't know that I can right now, Ma."
"No rush. Holler if you need me." Marina left the room.
Kelly got undressed and crawled under the covers. Ginger curled up to her side and purred. Kelly put her arm around the cat and cried.
Chapter Twenty-Three.
THE STORM STARTED sometime Sat.u.r.day afternoon, and by the time Kelly was ready to leave the station on Sunday morning she felt like a drowned rat. Her crew had been out all night going to houses struck by lightning and to four others at the low end of the same street that required pumping the bas.e.m.e.nts. The call to top it all off was a car accident where they spent two hours trying to remove the bodies of a pair of teenage boys. After the s.h.i.+ft from h.e.l.l she was more than ready to go home.
The rain was pouring again when Kelly reached the parking lot. She ran for her car, fumbled to get the door unlocked, then tossed her bag into the backseat. She slid behind the wheel and started the engine. Her shoulder slumped when she realized she was low on gas.
"d.a.m.n." Kelly pulled her wallet from her back pocket and looked for some cash. She didn't get any farther than opening it. The picture in the center holder was Talia. Kelly had taken it with her cell phone and it was a little blurry, but that didn't diminish the laughing smile on Talia's sweet face. Kelly couldn't recall exactly what'd they'd been talking about. Probably one of those nonsense conversations people have sometimes.
Talia's eyes were bright and happy and aimed at Kelly.
She touched the picture with her finger as if she could feel Talia's soft skin through the photo. Her chest constricted every time she thought of Talia. The tears always came and this time was no different.
"How did we get to this? How did this happen?"
A tear dropped onto the picture, blurring it more, and she cast it aside. Kelly swiped her tears away and put the wallet into her pocket.
"This is bulls.h.i.+t." She put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking lot.
The apartment building that Talia lived in was four blocks from the fire station. Kelly parked her car right in front and was in the elevator before she could talk herself out of it.
She found the paper Talia had scribbled her address on only a few weeks ago and double-checked the apartment number. The elevator stopped at the fourth floor and she went directly to apartment 449 and knocked.
The face that appeared when the door opened was not the one Kelly expected to see. The skin was darker than Talia's, the expression more severe, and the eyes fixed on her as though Kelly were some sort of vermin. "What are you doing here?" the woman demanded.
"I came to see Talia. Is she home?"
"Of course she is, but you're not welcome here."
"Please. I need to talk to her. I'm sure if you let her know I'm-"
"Are you deaf? I said you're not welcome here. Now leave."
"Look, I don't think you've got the right to tell me that I can't see her. I want to hear that from Talia herself." Her hands balled into fists, and she felt her temper heating up. Her body was exhausted, but her mind and, unfortunately, her mouth, were still in high gear. "Tell her I'm here."
"No. But I will tell the police you're hara.s.sing her. So unless you want to deal with them, leave."
"Who are you?"
"Megan. Talia's girlfriend. And she doesn't need you around here. Good bye." She shut the door and Kelly heard the lock click.
Stunned, she walked back to the elevator, not sure what she should do next. Wasn't Megan the ex Talia had so much trouble with?
"WHO WAS AT the door?" Talia asked as Megan returned to the living room.
"No one important. So, did you finish your exercises?"
"All done. I was thinking we could order in if you're hungry."
"No way. You'll just get junk food. I'll go to the store and get us something decent to eat."
"Okay," Talia said, though she hated any food Megan considered "decent."
"I know you don't like it, but you need to eat healthy to get better."
"Right." A wave of helplessness and fatigue made Talia realize that already she was slipping back into the easy habit of doing whatever Megan wanted. Her hand rested on the stump of her left leg. Was this how it was going to be? Permanently? Another wave, this one of chilly recognition, pa.s.sed through her. Megan would never be the right woman for Talia. But could she work through it to keep from being alone? How could she know? Had she made a mistake?
"Hurry back," Talia said.
Megan flashed an odd smile and left.
Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. "Did you forget your key?" Talia called out, fumbling for her crutches. She managed to get the door open despite the balancing act.
"I never got a key," Kelly said as she stepped around Talia to come inside.
"Kelly? What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." She shut the door and helped Talia sit down again. "I can't stand not seeing you. This is nuts."
"No, it's necessary." Talia kept as much s.p.a.ce between them as she could. "I told you I don't want to see you anymore. We can't-"
"I don't buy it. And I don't buy that you're with Megan again. I thought you said she was mean and controlling. Why would you go back to her?"
"Because she loves me," Talia said. And it was easier than being alone. She couldn't even look at Kelly now.
"So do I."
Talia couldn't quite believe her ears, and she immediately pushed all positive responses out of her mind. "Maybe you care about me, and I know you pity me, but I don't think you could be in love with me."
Kelly knelt in front of Talia and reached up to touch her face gently. Talia felt the heat of her hand and leaned in to it.
"Please, Talia. I do love you. I don't know how to make you believe me."
"I'm sorry, Kelly." Talia didn't bother to fight back her tears. "You're going to have to back off." Kelly popped up to her feet, and Talia pushed herself up and slipped her arms into the crutches. "You should go. Megan'll be back in a little while. I don't think it's a good idea if she sees you here."
Talia moved toward the door. Kelly stepped in front of her before she reached it. "I don't understand what I've done. Please, tell me what it was. Let me fix this."
Talia's gaze remained on the floor. "I don't know what to tell you."
Kelly placed one finger under Talia's chin and gently urged her to look up. When she did, Kelly leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. Talia's body reacted instantly. She felt the tingle from her mouth to the center between her legs.
She let the kiss grow deeper, her tongue seeking Kelly's. She felt hot hands behind her neck, urging her forward. Talia tangled her fingers in Kelly's hair thinking only about how much she wanted her. Right there. Right now.
Kelly's hand slid to Talia's breast and Talia quickly broke away from the kiss. She was breathless and fresh tears trickled down her cheeks. "I can't. I can't do this, Kelly. You can't mean it."
Kelly's face went from flushed from the heat of their kiss to red with anger. "Dammit, Talia. You don't know a d.a.m.n thing about me, do you? I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. Believe it or not, I'm attracted to you. I want you. I want to be with you."
"Yeah, right." Talia regretted the comment immediately when she saw the crestfallen look on Kelly's face.
"You really think so little of yourself? You seriously don't think anyone would ever want the warm and delightful person that is you?"
Talia wasn't sure if Kelly was asking the questions or stating facts Kelly'd only just realized. Talia was frozen, unsure of what to answer, when the apartment door opened and Megan rushed in.
"I thought I told you to leave," Megan said, placing the grocery bag on the floor. "You got five seconds or I'm calling the cops."
"Don't bother," Kelly said, not taking her eyes off Talia. "I'm sorry." She left without another word.
Talia stared at the door as if it would open again and Kelly would be back.
"You're not listening to me," Megan was in front of her.
"I'm sorry."
"Me, too. Sorry I didn't call the cops the first time she came by." Megan got the grocery bag and pulled out items to put away.
"What? When was the first time?"
"About an hour ago. Before I left for the store."
Talia entered the kitchen and leaned against the edge of the sink. "The person that knocked on the door earlier was Kelly?"
"Yes. I told you about it."
"No. You told me it was no one important."
"Correct." Megan stopped what she was doing. "Talia, she's not important. You need to get as much distance as you can from her. She's only going to hurt you."
"How much distance, Megan? Yards? Miles? A city?" Talia suddenly felt unable to control her anger. Maybe Kelly really did love her? What if that was true? Their kiss had certainly felt right-better than any kiss she'd ever shared with Megan. Was staying with Megan a bad idea?