Meridian. Part 19

111ani *"Yes. Yes." I felt myself move to the side. I could see the poppies, but now I saw the room, my yellow room with the daisy throw rug and white four-poster bed. Jasper turned from the window to face me.

"Thank you. Tell your Auntie I owe her one." Jasper touched my cheek the littlest bit and stepped over the sill into the poppies. There was movement in the meadow and I could see people coming toward him.

I felt like I was swimming against an undertow. Part of me wanted to go with him.

Keep going.

It was so beautiful and so peaceful. So bright.

I didn't know the people, didn't need to -I felt the immense joy. A blinding, overwhelming need wracked my body with spasms.

112ani *

Chapter 22.

There was a loud crack and I jumped, my eyes open wide, back into Jasper's bedroom. I gripped Auntie's hand.

"I closed the window for you. You almost made it on your own." Auntie patted my cheek.

"How do you feel?"

I gaped, surprised to be back in my body. It was odd to feel the heavy sensation of arms and legs again. My headache faded, but didn't disappear. My stomach flipped, but I didn't think I'd vomit. My bones hurt considerably, but that, too, was a pa.s.sing feeling.

"Are you okay?" Sarah moved around the bed to stand by me.

"I think ... I'll be fine." I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice. "He said he owed you one. Auntie."

Sarah wiped tears away. "I won't ask how you knew that, but I'm sure he'll come through."

I turned to her, feeling a desperate need to share. "There were people. He was happy."

"Thank you." She hugged me. "I'm sure most people are unsure of your gifts, but thank you.

You made it easy on him."'

I guess that's the gist of it, isn't it? Most people are afraid. But are they freaked out by me or by death itself?

"It's death, not you. They don't even really see you, they're so caught up in the fear of dying."' Sarah said.

I looked at her. "Did I say that out loud?"

"No."' She smiled. "Do you want tea or hot chocolate before you head back out?"

"No, thank you, Sarah. Meridian needs a nap. I think."' Auntie laughed. "Or I do!"

"I'll be here another couple of weeks settling his affairs -you call me if you need anything." Sarah dug around in her purse and handed me a business card, "You call me if you're ever in New York and need a place to crash. It's not much, but it's home and it's yours."

"Thanks." I tucked the card in my back pocket and returned her smile. I could see myself as friends with her, even though she was in her thirties and had the polished veneer of a New Yorker despite her designer hippie accessories.

Auntie handed me the car keys. "Drive it slow and we'll be fine."

113a I wanted to argue with her. But she had a gray tinge to her cheeks and her lips were stained ni a severe blue. I closed my mouth and said a prayer that we'd make it home in one piece.

*I drove the whole way back at five miles per hour, but I didn't hit anything and we stayed on the road. Auntie's snores were the only sound track for the ride. Once home, I peeled my fingers off the steering wheel and took my first big breath since we'd gotten in the car. "Do we have any licorice?"

"Maybe in the pantry. You got a craving for it?" Auntie paused as she unbuckled her seat belt.

"Yeah, a black licorice and honey sandwich, actually."

"Jasper's favorite?"

I thought about it and nodded. "From his childhood. It sounds disgusting. I totally have to try it."

I held on to Auntie's elbow as we walked up the steps. Custos greeted us with a whine and a quick lick of my hand.

"You should know you'll want to be trying lots of stuff once you get a buildup of memories.

I remember a night when I drank whiskey straight from the bottle because one guy said it tasted different in a gla.s.s -I don't remember his name but I know that's what he got out of life."

I giggled as we stamped our boots and started peeling off the layers. "Did it taste different?"

"No." Auntie swayed and I caught her.

"What's wrong?"

"Tired, I guess."

"Are you sure? Do you need a doctor?"

"Not right now. I'll swallow a couple of aspirin and see how I feel."

I could tell there was something more she wasn't saying. "But -"

"No."

"I could call -"

"Stop. Don't fuss." She held up a hand, then rubbed her eyes.

I didn't push, but I wasn't happy about it.

Auntie made her way to the parlor and settled down on the sofa.

"I'll make you tea, okay?"

114a "Two lumps and a bit of milk," she said, her eyes closed.

ni *I poked around the pantry while the water boiled, but couldn't find any black licorice. What if I called an ambulance? What if I asked Tens to carry her to the car? Could I force her to use medicine? What if I'm not okay just letting her be?

The outside door slammed and heavy boots stomped to the kitchen door. The old screened-in porch wasn't much more than a mudroom in the wintertime.

I waited in the kitchen doorway and studied Tens as he unlaced his boots and pried his feet out of them. I wondered at the giddy, joyful feeling at the base of my spine. Did I love him?

Could I love him? What other name could I give this feeling of fever and itch?

His was the face of a statue, all angles and planes, as if he'd never had enough to eat. His hands -how was it possible to be so captivated by something I saw every day? I'd never paid attention to hands before, but his drew my eyes. I wondered what they'd feel like holding me, if he'd be as gentle with me as he was with Custos.

"You done yet or do you need a few more minutes?" Tens asked, not glancing up.

I cleared my throat and moved toward the teakettle. "Oh, there you are." Brilliant.

"Here I am." Tens smiled at me and pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. I could feel the weight of his scrutiny on my back.

"Where were you?" I asked, "Out and about. You do okay?"

"Yeah, actually. I couldn't do it by myself, but I'm getting better." The kettle whistled and I sprang into action like this was more important than just making tea.

"Any pain?"

"Nothing that hung around long." I made him hot chocolate and placed it in front of him.

"Thanks." He brushed my arm and sent zings up it.

I nodded, moving away and dunking the tea bags absently.

"I think that tea is done."

I blinked down at tea that could very well have held up its own bag. "I like it like that." I dug out two sugar cubes and splashed in milk for Auntie. "Where did you say you were?"

"Around."

I glanced at his shuttered expression and dropped it. Maybe he was dating someone. That would top it off, falling in love with a guy who loved someone else. "I should take the tea to Auntie." I picked up the cup and saucer.

115.

"Let her sleep." Tens reached out and stopped me. I slopped tea onto the floor.

a ni *"c.r.a.p." I set the cup down and grabbed a towel. Always graceful, that's me.

"Don't worry about it. Auntie's been having a hard time sleeping; she's walking around at night. She's very worried about leaving us to face the Nocti alone. I don't think we should wake her. That's all." Clearly, Tens thought I was upset by his suggestion, not about making a mess in front of him.

"Once I can do it, won't they leave us alone?" I tossed the towel into the laundry room and sat down.

"I don't know. You're really going to drink that?" Tens nodded to my tea.

It was such a dark brown it seemed black. "Of course." I sipped and tried to keep my expression bland.

He chuckled but didn't say anything. He had this way of answering questions without actually saying anything. I always ended up confused about what I had asked in the first place. Was it his presence that messed me up or something else?

I needed to change the conversation. "By the way, how did you get here?"

"I walked. You guys had the car."

I had a feeling he was deliberately interpreting my question literally. "Not today. I meant, in the beginning, how did you find Auntie?"

Tens set down his mug and spun it on the tabletop. I had just decided he wasn't going to answer me when he said, "My grandfather."' He drew in a pained breath and continued. "I was twelve when he died. They put me in foster care. I ran away a couple of times before I didn't get caught and sent back. I wasn't real bright about hiding."

"You were a kid."

"Maybe. Maybe not. At fourteen, with a broken lip and a couple of busted ribs, I finally got smart about what to fear."

"You were beaten on the streets?"

"No, the monster was in the nice, safe house, not out on the streets. n.o.body cared. n.o.body asked me why I was always covered in bruises. They just saw this nice middle-cla.s.s white family who accepted foster kids no one else wanted."

I swallowed. "You left, right?"

He nodded. "Stole some cash. Started walking."

"Where were you?"

"Seattle."

116ani My jaw dropped. "That's a long walk. Why come here?"

*"Tyee had told me to. He told me if I was ever in trouble to come here and ask for Auntie or Charles. He said my destiny was tied up in a war of people and light. To protect them.

There was more, but we ran out of time."

"So you walked here?"

"I hitched rides, stole wallets, worked odd jobs where I could. I got here about two years later. I lived off the land mostly. Tyee had taught me well. Made me memorize which plants could be eaten, and learn how to make a fire with nothing but wet wood. How to keep warm. He talked to me in my dreams. Told me what I needed to know to stay hidden."

"You still see him?"

His voice turned sad. "No, he stopped coming to me the day I set foot on this front porch.

Then I started dreaming of ..." He trailed off.

I didn't want the conversation to end. "You miss him? Never mind, stupid question. I miss my family and they're not dead."

For a few seconds, we listened to the creaks of the old house and the wind in the trees.