The Comedies of William Congreve Part 18

ARAMINTA, BELINDA, VAINLOVE, SHARPER.

SHARP. There is in true beauty, as in courage, somewhat which narrow souls cannot dare to admire. And see, the owls are fled, as at the break of day.

BELIN. Very courtly. I believe Mr. Vainlove has not rubbed his eyes since break of day neither, he looks as if he durst not approach. Nay, come, cousin, be friends with him. I swear he looks so very simply--ha, ha, ha. Well, a lover in the state of separation from his mistress is like a body without a soul. Mr. Vainlove, shall I be bound for your good behaviour for the future?

VAIN. Now must I pretend ignorance equal to hers, of what she knows as well as I. [_Aside_.] Men are apt to offend ('tis true) where they find most goodness to forgive. But, madam, I hope I shall prove of a temper not to abuse mercy by committing new offences.

ARAM. So cold! [_Aside_.]

BELIN. I have broke the ice for you, Mr. Vainlove, and so I leave you.

Come, Mr. Sharper, you and I will take a turn, and laugh at the vulgar--both the great vulgar and the small. O Gad! I have a great pa.s.sion for Cowley. Don't you admire him?

SHARP. Oh, madam! he was our English Horace.

BELIN. Ah so fine! so extremely fine! So everything in the world that I like--O Lord, walk this way--I see a couple; I'll give you their history.

SCENE XII.

ARAMINTA, VAINLOVE.

VAIN. I find, madam, the formality of the law must be observed, though the penalty of it be dispensed with, and an offender must plead to his arraignment, though he has his pardon in his pocket.

ARAM. I'm amazed! This insolence exceeds t'other; whoever has encouraged you to this a.s.surance, presuming upon the easiness of my temper, has much deceived you, and so you shall find.

VAIN. Hey day! Which way now? Here's fine doubling. [_Aside_.]

ARAM. Base man! Was it not enough to affront me with your saucy pa.s.sion?

VAIN. You have given that pa.s.sion a much kinder epithet than saucy, in another place.

ARAM. Another place! Some villainous design to blast my honour. But though thou hadst all the treachery and malice of thy s.e.x, thou canst not lay a blemish on my fame. No, I have not erred in one favourable thought of mankind. How time might have deceived me in you, I know not; my opinion was but young, and your early baseness has prevented its growing to a wrong belief. Unworthy and ungrateful! be gone, and never see me more.

VAIN. Did I dream? or do I dream? Shall I believe my eyes, or ears? The vision is here still. Your pa.s.sion, madam, will admit of no farther reasoning; but here's a silent witness of your acquaintance. [_Takes our the letter_, _and offers it_: _she s.n.a.t.c.hes it_, _and throws it away_.]

ARAM. There's poison in everything you touch. Blisters will follow--

VAIN. That tongue, which denies what the hands have done.

ARAM. Still mystically senseless and impudent; I find I must leave the place.

VAIN. No, madam, I'm gone. She knows her name's to it, which she will be unwilling to expose to the censure of the first finder.

ARAM. Woman's obstinacy made me blind to what woman's curiosity now tempts me to see. [_Takes up the letter_.]

SCENE XIII.

BELINDA, SHARPER.

BELIN. Nay, we have spared n.o.body, I swear. Mr. Sharper, you're a pure man; where did you get this excellent talent of railing?

SHARP. Faith, madam, the talent was born with me:--I confess I have taken care to improve it, to qualify me for the society of ladies.

BELIN. Nay, sure, railing is the best qualification in a woman's man.

SCENE XIV.

[_To them_] FOOTMAN.

SHARP. The second best, indeed, I think.

BELIN. How now, Pace? Where's my cousin?

FOOT. She's not very well, madam, and has sent to know if your ladys.h.i.+p would have the coach come again for you?

BELIN. O Lord, no, I'll go along with her. Come, Mr. Sharper.

SCENE XV.

SCENE: _A chamber in Fondlewife's house_.

LAEt.i.tIA and BELLMOUR, his cloak, hat, etc., lying loose about the chamber.

BELL. Here's n.o.body, nor no noise--'twas nothing but your fears.

LAET. I durst have sworn I had heard my monster's voice. I swear I was heartily frightened; feel how my heart beats.

BELL. 'Tis an alarm to love--come in again, and let us--

FOND. [_Without_.] c.o.c.ky, c.o.c.ky, where are you, c.o.c.ky? I'm come home.

LAET. Ah! There he is. Make haste, gather up your things.

FOND. c.o.c.ky, c.o.c.ky, open the door.

BELL. Pox choke him, would his horns were in his throat. My patch, my patch. [_Looking about_, _and gathering up his things_.]

LAET. My jewel, art thou there?--No matter for your patch.--You s'an't tum in, Nykin--run into my chamber, quickly, quickly--You s'an't tum in.

FOND. Nay, prithee, dear, i'f.e.c.k I'm in haste.