Silent. Part 11

She slapped his shoulder. "I told you not to call me that. I ain't no one's girl."

But Brandon kept glaring, and for once I actually felt like I needed to back down. Not 'cause I was scared of him, or anything...but I had a sister. I knew you weren't supposed to treat girls like that.

"Sorry, Laloni. I just didn't realize you...you knew about me already."

"You mean that you a foster kid?" she asked.

I gritted my teeth.

"It's okay. Obviously I don't have a problem with it. I put up with this a.s.shole."

Brandon made a hurt face. Laloni laughed and kissed it off him.

I was getting sick to my stomach.

"All right, so maybe I shoulda told you I knew who you was...but then I woulda missed your really sad attempts to flirt with me," she finished with a giggle.

Pretty sure the wanting-to-kill-someone look was back, I decided to cut my losses and leave. Maybe I could curl up in a coc.o.o.n of blankets and spend the rest of the day in bed, like Seb. It definitely would've been an improvement.

"No, wait, Alex." Laloni's hand came down on my shoulder as I stepped away. "I'm only teasing. I just like to get to know Brandon's foster brothers...see if they gonna be a good influence or a bad influence on him."

"I don't have no brothers," I growled.

Her eyes fluttered up dramatically. "Whatever. You know what I mean."

I tried to keep walking, but Brandon's hand came down on my other shoulder. "You know, you don't always have to be such a d.i.c.k to us. We really ain't as bad as you like to think."

He ended by giving me a little pat, and I glanced back at him. His dimples were showing again, and the smile seemed pretty genuine.

Why did he have to look so freaking good?

I let my own expression melt into something reflecting grudging acceptance, and he grinned even wider.

"So, Laloni..." I turned to face her again. "What'd you decide...'bout my influence?" influence?"

She smirked and intertwined her fingers with Brandon's. "Not sure yet. I'll let you know." Then she looked up at him and batted her lashes. "Walk me home?"

Her eyes got all soft when she asked, and his responded the same way. "Sure thing, babe."

"See ya tomorrow, Alex." She waved as they walked off.

I watched them leave, hands still locked together, and besides being thankful the encounter was over, another sensation hit me. That way Brandon was looking at her...puppy-dog love mixed with regular teenage l.u.s.t...s.h.i.+t, what I wouldn't have given for him to look at me me like that. like that.

But I squashed the thought as soon as it popped up. Jealousy didn't suit me.

Oh well. At least I still had the shed, the cigarettes, and Seb.

"You coulda told me Brandon had a girlfriend," I said to Seb that evening.

Today he was refilling the little holes he'd previously made in the ground, smoothing out the dirt so it was nice and even again. He used the blank canvas to draw squiggles with his finger.

"Not that I really mind, or anything...it's just...well, for a minute I thought she was interested in me."

Seb's hand made little pat-pat pat-pat noises as he flattened another lump of soil. noises as he flattened another lump of soil.

"She's all right, I guess. You ever met her? Probably not, huh. I bet Ms. Loretta don't let you guys have girls over."

I pulled a cigarette out of the pack, but didn't light it up.

"You ever had a girlfriend, Seb?"

He was ignoring me more than usual today. Just more of the same turn-for-s.h.i.+t my life had taken...I couldn't even keep a r.e.t.a.r.d interested.

I leaned back all the way to the ground, cus.h.i.+oning my head with my arms so I could stare up at the hazy-pink full moon. "Well, I have. Had a few. Was probably about to have another one right before I left...this girl named Blanca."

A shudder ran through me. She'd been so grabby and forceful. Probably one of those clingy girls...

"Kinda glad I avoided that one." I snickered.

Seb looked over at me for some reason, and I automatically stumbled into an explanation. "Uh...'cause she was annoying."

He seemed to have just noticed I was lying down, and decided to do the same, scooting his body close to mine.

"Do you want to have a girlfriend?" I asked, glancing over and catching the reflection of the moon in his dark eyes.

He stared back, but of course, didn't say anything.

Such a shame he was r.e.t.a.r.ded. Those wide almond eyes of his were actually pretty f.u.c.king amazing.

"I don't."

Had I just said that out loud? Jesus Christ.

"I mean, 'cause, uh, it's much better to be a free man, ya know?"

Seb turned away again, the corner of his lip twitching.

What the f.u.c.k was wrong with me? I was getting way too close to saying things that shouldn't be said. Even though Seb couldn't understand, it was a bad habit to get into.

Would I have screwed up like this back home, too?

An uncomfortable thought struck me. I tried not to let it take root in my mind, but the more I fought to push it away, the stronger it became.

I didn't have a social life here. I didn't have a reputation. I didn't have to be the same Alex I'd been before. It might be easier to keep my secret.

And that notion filled me with an overwhelming sense of...relief.

Chapter 9: Smarter.

"I have your in-cla.s.s essays graded."

Mr. Salazar, my new English teacher, swept through the rows and dropped the stupid things on desks as he went. I'd decided I hated him in the first five minutes I'd known him. He was one of those educated educated Latinos who wasn't gonna cut anyone any slack, 'cause if Latinos who wasn't gonna cut anyone any slack, 'cause if he he could rise above, then all of us could. could rise above, then all of us could.

f.u.c.king p.r.i.c.k.

English was always my worst cla.s.s, and while some things in my new life had changed out of necessity, English was not one of them. So I knew what was coming before the paper landed in front of me.

Lots and lots of red circles and scribbles, with a nice big F at the top of the paper. And, oh, f.u.c.k. What was that he'd written in the margins? See me after cla.s.s. See me after cla.s.s.

Not even a month in and I was already being ordered to see the teacher after cla.s.s. Maybe new me wasn't so different from old me after all.

I waited until the room was empty to approach his desk.

"Ah, Alejandro." Mr. Salazar looked up. At least he could p.r.o.nounce my name right. "I wanted to speak to you about the essay you wrote."

I frowned. "Yeah, well, I just got here. I wasn't ready to write it, teacher."

"It's Mr. Salazar, and I'm aware of that." He met my eyes in a way that told me he was aware of more than just just that. that.

Did everyone at this school have to know I was a freaking foster kid?

"That's why I'd like to offer you the opportunity to do a make-up a.s.signment."

Just what I wanted. More More work. work.

"I'm kind of busy."

He didn't seem impressed with my excuse, and handed over a piece of paper with a prompt. "Due Tuesday."

When he turned back to his computer, I stomped out, crumpling my failed a.s.signment and the make-up prompt into tight b.a.l.l.s. I was so p.i.s.sed I rounded a corner at full speed and wound up smacking straight into Laloni.

The papers scattered on the floor, and she bent to pick them up first. "Nice," she remarked, unfolding one enough to catch sight of the flaming red F.

"Man, shut up."

"You gonna do this make-up?"

I s.n.a.t.c.hed both papers back. G.o.d, she was nosy. There were way too many women in my life right now. Even my mom and Mimi had seemed like overkill, once upon a time.

"f.u.c.k no."

"I could help you with it, you know. English is my best subject. I help Brandon with his stuff, and he's a year ahead of me."

"Look, no offense, but school isn't really my thing."

She rolled her eyes. "'Course it's not."

"Hey." Brandon emerged from the crowd behind her, slipping a hand on her b.u.t.t, which she immediately pushed off. "Second time I catch you two together...should I be worried?"

She huffed, but opened her mouth obediently for him to stick his tongue into it.

"I'm gonna go to cla.s.s." Suddenly queasy, I left them making out, and doubted they even saw me go.

Suzie was sitting in the living room when I got home that afternoon. I didn't bother greeting her.

"Did you find my mom?"

When her eyes got sad, I had my answer. "No, Alex. Not yet."

I nodded. "All right, then. I'm gonna go up and do my homework."

She swiveled around to watch me walk down the hallway. "I was hoping we could chat for a little while. I'd like to see how things are going for you here."

I paused with one foot on the steps. "If you have something to tell me, you can go ahead and talk...but I have nothing to say to you."

When there was no response-other than a sigh-I continued up to the room.

I knew I was being a d.i.c.k, but Suzie was really the only adult I could talk back to and get away with it. Had to take my wins where I could.

Seb was already upstairs, in bed. I sat across from him and watched him sleep for a little while, noting that his lashes were much darker than his hair. They matched the undertone in his complexion better, and those black-brown irises.

"Got my first F today...well, not my first ever, but my first here," I said quietly.

He didn't stir. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to reason with myself. Why was I talking to him when he was asleep? Then again, wasn't it just about the same as talking to him when he was awake?

The thud-thud-thud thud-thud-thud of the basketball on the uneven pavement of the patio punctuated my thoughts. I should've been out there, hanging with Dwayne and Brandon, not upstairs discussing my continuing progress toward becoming a high school dropout. of the basketball on the uneven pavement of the patio punctuated my thoughts. I should've been out there, hanging with Dwayne and Brandon, not upstairs discussing my continuing progress toward becoming a high school dropout.

"Brandon's girlfriend offered to help me with this make-up a.s.signment...but I dunno."

The front door swung open downstairs. Ms. Cecily was home from work, and the boys were back as well. "Ms. Suzie!" they cried, footsteps scampering into the living room.

I bet she loved that. Two sweet little boys, showing her affection and appreciation for what she did, instead of sulky teenagers giving her lip. And she probably deserved the thanks in their case. But in mine...

"Do...do you think if I were smarter, I wouldn't have ended up in this place? I mean, if I could learn to write stupid essays, I could probably talk better with adults...maybe lie better."

Seb's eyes shot open. Wide open, without a hint of drowsiness in their black depths.

"Hey!" I punched his shoulder, but only lightly. "You weren't asleep, you little sneak."