Oh! Susannah! Part 11

Pearl. Good-bye, Doctor. I wish you every success. _(shakes hands and goes up stage)_

Ruby. Good-bye! _(pause)_ Dear Jack! _(pause)_ I _(going to kiss him, catches her father's eye, aside to Plant)_ I can't when you're looking.

Plant. _(aside to her)_ Idiot! _(aloud)_ Come, my precious jewels!

_(Puts his arms round them; swing Bus.)_

The suns.h.i.+ne of my widowed home, Jack, a humble place, but when you come to visit us at Southsea, you will echo the words of the immortal bard, and join with us in singing, _(sings)_ "Ours is a happy little home!"

_(Exit Plant. Ruby and Pearl. _all quarrelling loudly_.)_

Doctor. _(alone)_ What a strange man! I wonder why he's pleaded my cause with Aunt Susannah? _(looks at aunt's picture, sitting end of sofa)_ Poor Aunt Susie, when she was quite a girl she fell in love with a man who turned out all wrong; that's why she's lived such a lonely life all these years. Dear Aunt Susie! I'll do all I can to give you a good time, _(goes back to microscope)_

_(Enter Aurora.)_

Aurora. _(excitedly)_ If you please, doctor----

Doctor. Don't bother me now, Aurora. I'm busy.

Aurora. _(sadly)_ I don't want to bother you, sir, I've come to give you _warning_.

Doctor. You want to leave me?

Aurora. _Never_, sir, not till I'm took feet front. I want to warn you about that detective, sir, as the gent brought in his pocket. His friend let it off at that picture, sir.

Doctor. _(mystified)_ Let _what_ off?

Aurora. Detective camera, sir, an' 'e's comin' back dressed up like 'er.

Doctor. _(smiling)_ Who is?

Aurora. 'Im as 'is friend calls "Merry Andrew." sir.

Doctor. _(rubbing his hands)_ Oh, is he? It's my profession to cure people, and I'll cure _you_, Master Merry Andrew. of this insane love of practical joking, _(thumps on table)_

Aurora. _Do_, sir, I _don't believe_ there's no ailment, male nor female, what you couldn't not cure, sir.

Doctor. Thank you, Aurora. _(crosses to fire)_

Aurora. Excuse the liberty I've took, sir, but I thought I'd best warn you, sir, lest when 'e come dressed up, you might think it was--it was _she_--and--and be disappointed, _(half crying)_

Doctor. So I should have been--_very_ disappointed. _(looking at picture)_ Thank you very much.

Aurora. Still gazin' at 'is fancy! The time 'as come. It's now or never--I'll struggle with yer! _(gets on chair, looks over into mirror, takes combs from pocket, puts them on, pauses)_ I do 'ope Tupper was wrong; if 'e's gorn and married 'er, I'm the miserablest girl in all Pimlico--South Belgraviar, I mean, _(jumps down)_

Doctor. _(turning round and seeing her)_ What on earth are you doing? Do you want to bring the house down?

Aurora. I can't 'elp my weight, sir.

Doctor. _(smiling)_ What a swell you look, Aurora!

Aurora. _(effusively)_ 'E's seen my combs--my diamond combs, _(shakes head to make them sparkle)_

Doctor. _(laughing)_ Did Mrs. O'Hara give you those paste things to wear for her party?

Aurora. _(disappointed)_ No, sir, they _ain't_ for Mrs. O'Ara, and they _ain't_ pastry things, _(aside)_ 'E don't know diamonds when 'e sees 'em!

Doctor. They're like those in my aunt's picture.

Aurora. _(joyfully)_ Is that your h'aunt, sir?

Doctor. Yes.

Aurora. Ho! I h'am glad! _(aside)_ There's 'ope, there's 'ope!

Doctor. But those combs have gone out since that picture was painted; you're a long way behind the times--a long way.

_(bursts out laughing and rushes out)_ Ha! ha! ha!

_(Exit Doctor. R. I.E.)_

Aurora. _(alone, sobbing)_ I'm "gorn out"--"be'ind the times,"

there's no 'ope, I shall never wear 'em again--_(takes them off)_ But I'll 'ave 'em buried with me. _(pockets them)_ I shall die an old maid now--I can't wait till Tupper's growed up. Oh, it's an 'ard world for us maids, a very 'ard world!

_(Exit Aurora. sobbing, L.U.E.)_

Aunt. _(heard off)_ Is Doctor Sheppard in?

Aurora. _(heard off, sobbing)_ I'll see, mam, I'll s-ee!

_(Enter Aurora. followed by Aunt Susannah.)_

Aunt. _(to her)_ What's the matter with you, my good girl? _(c.

up stage)_

Aurora. _(sobbing)_ N-othin', mum. We're a b-bit b-busier to-day than usual, that's all.

Aunt. Is this the doctor's consulting room? _(looks round with affectionate interest--sits at his table)_ Aurora. One of 'em, mum--I expect 'e's in one of the h'inner rooms, engaged with some patients, 'e's always very busy on a Friday--you couldn't 'ave picked a worse day to come and see the great Doctor. 'Ave you got an appointment?

Aunt. I wrote to him. He expects me about this time.

Aurora. Oh! _(Bus.--mimicking her intonation)_ Then I'll tell him. _(knocks at door R.I.E.)_ A lady to see you, sir.

Doctor. _(heard off)_ All right! Tell him to take a chair.

Aurora. _(at door)_ It ain't an 'im, it's an 'er!

Doctor. _(heard off, laughing)_ Oh, then tell _her_ to take the couch.