The Punster's Pocket-book Part 1

The Punster's Pocket-book.

by Charles Molloy Westmacott.

A

WORD

TO

THE WITTY AND THE WISE.

Wit led the way--with sportive jest, Next, Humour, most fantastic drest; The Graces, eldest of the Nine, Followed--collecting from each shrine, Where Genius shed a ray of light, Which might improve, instruct, delight.

MESSIEURS THE PUNSTERS,

I may with great propriety contend, that under such merry designation, I am addressing a very large portion of the British public. If, beneath your patronage, this little work should prove as successful as the flattering antic.i.p.ations of some friendly adepts in the art of punning have induced me to expect, it is my intention to collect and publish, annually, all the choicest _Morceaux_ and Vagaries relating to punning that can be obtained from the wits and witty works of our own times: for which purpose I solicit communications of _original_ Puns and Epigrams, directed to my Publishers. In arranging the present work, I have endeavoured to bring together all that was important to a proper understanding of the Merry Art; to which are annexed examples by the most celebrated Punsters of their day; many of which now, for the first time, appear in print. Ill.u.s.trated by fourteen original and appropriate designs, from that mirth-inspiring graphic humourist, Robert Cruikshank.

For mine own whims, scattered here and there through the work, they will, I have no doubt, be easily discovered, by their very humble pretensions to any right of admission into the phalanx of great names in whose company they are now a.s.sociated. But, Wits and Critics, as ye are powerful, be merciful; and remember, that taste and industry for such a task are the great requisites of a compiler, and that it is not essentially necessary for a _good_ collector to be a _great_ artist.

=BERNARD BLACKMANTLE,=

_Author of the English Spy, Editor of The Spirit of the Public Journals, &c. &c._

THE FRONTISPIECE.

Portrait of his Majesty George the Fourth.

DRAWN FROM THE LIFE BY WAGEMAN, AND ENGRAVED BY WOLNOTH.

_Explanation of the Emblematic Border to the Portrait of the King, containing an Epitome of British Sovereignty._

The Genius of Ancient Britain is represented by a Druidical head encircled by a wreath of oak; the face is partly hidden behind the blazonry of modern achievement. The head, supported by the Roman eagle and the Saxon horse, is inclosed in the involutions of the scroll which proceeds from it, and which next embraces the devouring eagle of Scandinavia, and the warlike lion of Normandy. Following these are emblems of the contests of the houses of York and Lancaster, surrounded by the rival roses. The Scriptures opened are appropriate to the Tudor family; and their national emblem, the thistle, is considered most emblematical of the Stuart race. A lion, with the cap of liberty, denotes the benefits England has derived from their successors, the Prince of Orange; and the unicorn chained to the scroll is indicative of Hanover attached to the sovereignty of Great Britain. The imperial crown of Charlemagne, which surmounts Brunswick, is nearly obscured and lost behind the crown and sceptre of a British sovereign, George the Fourth,

WHOM G.o.d PRESERVE.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

PROLEGOMENA ON PUNNING.

RESPECTFULLY ADDRESSED

TO PUNSTERS IN GENERAL.

LITERARY FIREWORKS.

What are Puns, and Jests, and Quirks?

But Literary _Fireworks_.

Here are _squibs_ for dull November; _Crackers_, too, for gay December; _Rockets_, charged with wit and fun; _Wild-fires_ made to touch and run; _Blue-lights_ from the Em'rald Isle; _British-b.a.l.l.s_, to chase the bile; _Roman fires_, and _jeux d'esprits_; From Vatican, and Thuilleries; And here's Blackmantle--punning elf-- To personate Guy Vaux himself.

It will doubtless be the opinion of many a reader that a Prefatory Essay on such a subject as _Punning_ can possess little of interest, and nothing of novelty. I would, however, request any one entertaining this idea to suspend his judgment till he has given the matter ampler consideration.

In addressing these preliminary remarks to punsters in general, I think I have taken effectual means to render them of universal interest. When a certain author, who had dedicated one of his volumes "_to those who think_," was charged with want of judgment in catering for such a limited number of individuals, he justified his discernment by observing, that, however little numerous the body of _thinking people_ might be, every reader would at least rank himself in that cla.s.s. Our question can stand on much broader ground; for we a.s.sert, without fear of contradiction, that of the many judicious persons who, without doubt, will peruse and patronise these pages, not one will be found who is not only, _se judice_, a punster, but who has not, probably "many a time and oft," exhibited among his boon companions whatever portion of talent he may possess in that line of wit. It has been asked by a well-known writer, "Did any man of liberal education ever go through his teens without perpetrating the crime of making verses?" I am contented to wave the narrow distinction, by which uneducated persons would be excepted, and, with respect to the n.o.bler and far more generally diffused art of punning, would inquire, Does any one, whatever be his rank or attainments, reach his twentieth year, without (we will not speak so inaccurately as to say, _perpetrating the crime_, but) contributing one or more puns to the common stock? Certainly not. What the ancients rather hyperbolically a.s.serted of writing (for the many, who were uninstructed in the mechanical part of that art, could not by possibility have exercised it), _Scribimus indocti doctique_, is literally true as applied to punning: lettered and unlettered, all alike pun away. From the humble son of Crispin, who, having nothing but one of his sutorial weapons at hand wherewith to despatch his _cotelette de buf_, remarked that _his all was at stake_, to the gifted Sheridan, who discovered that Doctors' Commons was the greatest thoroughfare in England, in virtue of the old adage, "where there is a WILL there is a WAY," each man sports his _calembourg_.

Still, as it frequently happens that what is most generally practised, is far from being best understood, so is it with punning. It has been too much the case to treat it with levity and inconsiderateness; to regard it as mere trifling; to view it at best as a feeble missile from the armoury of wit, only adapted for the "puny (query _punny_?) whipster," and which those who are qualified to wield more valuable weapons would scarcely deign to employ. I trust that, in the course of these introductory observations, I shall effectually dispel all such erroneous prejudices, and shall satisfactorily a.s.sert the true dignity of the art, so that my readers may join with me in exclaiming,

"_Punica_ se quantis attollet gloria _rebus_!"

and may perceive, that it is not only venerable from its antiquity, and supported by the authority of persons of taste and learning, who have invariably cultivated it, but is likewise highly beneficial to the bodily health, moral feeling, and intellectual improvement of the community.

With respect to its antiquity, we find it treated of by the most eminent writers upon rhetoric among the ancients, who not only cla.s.s it among the beauties of language, but have stamped it with the dignity of a distinct figure of speech, a.s.signing to it an appropriate name. I make no observations upon the injudicious attempts of some modern commentators to ally it to the _paranomasia_, it being evidently the _antanaclasis_ of the rhetoricians. The great Aristotle (Rhet. ch. 11.) enumerates two or three different species of pa?a??aata, the name he gives to puns, in his remarks upon this figure, and cites examples of each kind, with expressions of commendation, from some of the most celebrated Greek authors. In Cicero's treatise on Oratory, a variety of instances of the _antanaclasis_ are quoted, and highly praised by him for their wit. His own puns, with which his works abound, are more distinguished for their number than their excellence: humour does not appear to have been his forte, but his frequent attempts at punning sufficiently evince the high estimation in which it was held by himself and his contemporaries. The ancient poets, strange as it may appear, were not, in general, adepts in this art, if we except Aristophanes among the Greeks, and Ovid and Martial among the Latins.

From the two last mentioned writers (the former of whom indeed would readily furnish a cento of puns) I beg leave to select two examples. The one is where Ovid makes Leander say, "Posito _c.u.m veste timore_;" the other is the well-known epigram by Martial on the emperor Nero:

"_Quis negat aeneae natum de stirpe Neronem?_ Sustulit _hic matrem_, Sustulit ille patrem."

I adduce these examples, because Addison, after erroneously defining a pun to be merely "a conceit arising from the use of two words that agree in the sound, but differ in the sense," goes on to inform us that if translated into a different language, it will vanish in the experiment; in fact he would represent it as _vox et praeterea nihil_, a sound, and nothing but a sound. Unquestionably there are a mult.i.tude of puns that might answer this description, but it is far from being applicable to all. In the two instances I have just brought forward, the words _posito_ and _sustulit_ can be exactly translated into English, and both the sense and the pun retained. The truth is, that Addison, like many more who have thought proper to be very severe on the talents of the punning fraternity, was evidently not very accurately acquainted with the nature of what he was attacking.

If the plea of antiquity can thus be justly advanced in favour of punning, the continued adherence of all nations in all periods to the practice, may likewise with reason be urged in its support. Nor are its ramifications of slight importance. It may be considered as the origin of technical terms, most of which, if properly a.n.a.lysed, will prove to be virtual puns or conundrums; as the parent of _double entendre_ of every description; and even as containing the germs of that _slang_ formerly confined to the lower walks of life, but, in our more enlightened days, emulously studied even among the Corinthian pillars of polished society.

The number of final letters, which among the French are mere ciphers in p.r.o.nunciation, has always given them a decided advantage in puns of mere words over every other nation. Their writings and conversation are alike replete with them; but they are almost invariably of that kind alluded to by Addison, which are lost if clothed in any but their native dress.

Indeed this is almost a necessary consequence of the very circ.u.mstance already alluded to, which ensures them such superior facility in the production of puns. A brace of these I shall present my readers with, both as exhibiting a strong confirmation of what I have above said, and as being of modern date, and, in my opinion, of sterling excellence. The first of these is the reply made by a Parisian wit, to a person who asked him what was the true distinction between a flea and a louse. He answered that they were only disciples of different philosophers: the lice being followers of Epictetus (_des pique-teles_), and the fleas of Epicurus (_des piqueurs_). The other is an epigram, much talked off at the time of its appearance in the French metropolis, written by some wag, under a picture of Louis XVIII. painted by _Le Gros_, and placed in one of the public exhibitions. The striking resemblance of the head and neck of that monarch to those of a rabbit is well known; and of this circ.u.mstance the malicious epigrammatist thus happily avails himself in the pasquinade referred to:

Le Gros l'a peint! (_le gros lapin!_) Le Gros l'a peint!

Notre bon souverain.

De la peinture admirez la magie: Tout le monde a la fois s'ecrie, Le Gros l'a peint!

Le Gros l'a peint!

As I have a.s.sumed the privilege in these remarks of being as desultory and digressive as I please, I shall here notice what I term _macaroni punning_, effected by a fict.i.tious _melange_ of different languages.

Sometimes this will arise from the inspection of a single word. Who, for instance, can forbear smiling at the curious orthoepical coincidence by which an accommodating fair one is in Latin designated _meretrix_? This, however, is the simplest effort of the _macaroni_ cla.s.s, and far from implying that ingenuity visible in higher flights of the same kind, which are frequently conspicuous for their wit and pithiness. Lord Erskine's inscription on his tea chest, _Tu doces_, is of great merit in its way. Lord Norbury, I believe, has the reputation of having observed, upon seeing some young fellow vain of his personal attractions almost in tears at contemplating the manner in which the nocturnal attacks of a band of _jumpers_ had disfigured his face, "_Fle-bit_, he will weep."

His countryman Curran's reply to his rival counsel Egan, will not easily be forgotten. The latter, coming out of court, and observing on Curran's coat a certain _disgrace to the poll_, addressed him in the words of Virgil:

"Dic mihi, Damta, cujum pecus? an Melibi?"

Curran immediately replied by completing the pa.s.sage: