The Universal Reciter Part 16

_Kitty._ O, he can wait; he's only a boy; and no one cares how he looks; but young ladies must dress, or they are thought nothing of. O, you must let me have the bonnet, mamma!

_Mrs. C._ If you have this bonnet, Kitty, Harry must go without his new suit.

_Kitty._ If you could just see it! It's such a love of a bonnet! Do let me run down and ask Miss Thompson to send it up for you to look at.

_Mrs. C._ I've no objection to that; and if you think you need it more than Harry does his new suit, why--

_Kitty._ You'll let me have it. That's a good, dear mother. I know you wouldn't refuse. I'll run to Miss Thompson's. I won't be gone long. I suppose I am selfish; but then, mother, it's such a love of a bonnet.

[_Exit_, L.

_Mrs. C._ (_Sits in a rocking-chair._) Dear child, it is hard to refuse her! But one should be made of money to keep up with the extravagant fas.h.i.+ons of the day.

_Enter_ AUNT HOPKINS, R.

_Aunt H._ Angelina, what on airth have them air Joneses got for dinner? I've sot and sot at that air front winder till I've got a crick in my back a tryin' to find out whether it's lamb or mutton.

It's something roasted, anyhow.

_Mrs. C._ Aunt Hopkins, you are very inquisitive!

_Aunt H._ Inquisitive! Law sakes, do hear the child talk! Neow, what harm kin there be in tryin' to find eout what your neighbors have got for dinner? I mean to put on my bunnet and run acrost and see. I know they've got apple dumplin's, for I see the hired gal throw the parin's out into the yard.

_Mrs. C._ Run across! Don't dream of such a thing!

_Aunt H._ Well, I'm goin' up stairs to git my specs and have another good look, anyhow; for I'm jest dyin' to know whether it's lamb or mutton. Land sakes! what's the use of livin', ef you can't know how other folks live? [_Exit_, R.

_Mrs. C._ Aunt Hopkins!--She's gone! Dear me, she does worry me terribly! What will our neighbors think of us?

_Enter_ KATY DOOLAN, L.

_Katy._ If you plase, mam, may I coome in?

_Mrs. C._ Certainly, Katy. What's the matter?

_Katy._ If you plase, mam, I have a letther; and would you plase rade it for me?

_Mrs. C._ (_Takes letter._) Certainly, Katy. From your lover?

_Katy._ Indeed, mam, I have no lover. It's my cousin, mam.

_Mrs. C._ O, your cousin. (_Opens letter._) "Light ov my sowl!" Why, this cannot be your cousin.

_Katy._ Indade, indade, it be, sure! It's only the insinivatin' way he has, mam!

_Mrs. C._ (_Reads._) "Bewitchin' Katy! and how are ye's onyhow? I take my pin in hand to till ye's I am yurs, in good hilth and sphirits; and it's hopin' ye's the same, truly! The pulsitations uv my heart are batin' wid the love I bears ye's, darlin' Katy! the fairest flower--niver mind the blot--that iver bloomed an the family tree uv Phil Doolan uv Tipperary, dead and gone this siven years, bliss his sowl,--and how are ye's? An' by the same token that I loves ye's much, I sind by the ixpriss, freight paid, a new bunnit, which my cousin Biddy Ryan, for my dear love, have made for ye's charmin' Katy Doolan!

Wear it nixt ye's heart! And if ye git it before this letther coomes to hand, ye's may know it is from

Your ever sighin', Wid love for ye's dyin', CORNALIUS RYAN.

P.S. If ye's don't resave this letther, sind me word uv mouth by the man who fetches the bunnit."

_Mrs. C._ That's a very loving epistle.

_Katy._ Pistol, it is? Faith, I thought it was a letther.

_Mrs. C._ And so it is; and a very loving one! Your _cousin_ has sent you a new bonnet.

_Katy._ Is it in the letther, mam!

_Mrs. C._ It is coming by express.

_Katy._ Sure, he might sind it in the letther, and save expinse. What will I do?

_Mrs. C._ Wait patiently until the bonnet arrives.

_Katy._ Will Cornalius coome wid it?

_Mrs. C._ I think not. The expressman will bring it.

_Katy._ Sure, I don't want the ixpressman. It's Cornalius I want.

_Mrs. C._ This cousin of yours seems very affectionate. Are you going to marry him some day?

_Katy._ Some day?--yis, mam. He tould me, Would I? and I axed him, Yes. What will I do with the letther, mam?

_Mrs. C._ Keep it with your treasures. It should be precious to you.

_Katy._ Faith, thin I'll put it in the savings bank with my money. I'm obliged, to ye's Mrs. Clipper, mam. If you plase, what was that last in the letther?

_Mrs. C._

"Your ever sighin', Wid love for ye's dyin', Cornalius Ryan."

_Katy._ O, don't, ma'am! Ye's make me blush wid the shame I fail. Och!

it's a quare darlin', wid all his sighin', is Cornalius Ryan! Och, musha! it's an illigant lad he is, onyhow! [_Exit_, L.

_Mrs. C._ So we are to have another new bonnet in the family! Well, Katy is a good girl, and I hope will get a good husband, as well as a new bonnet.

[_Exit_, L.

_Enter_ AUNT HOPKINS, R., _with a bandbox._

_Aunt H._ It's mutton! I was determined to find eout, and I have! I saw that air Jones boy a playin' in the street, and I asked him what his folks had got for dinner, and he said mutton, and neow I'm satisfied on that air p'int. I wonder what's in this 'ere bandbox!

I saw that express cart stop here, and the man said it was for Miss Kitty somebody; of course, Angelina's darter. I do wonder what it is!

(_Opens box._) Well I declare! A spic span new bunnet! (_Takes out a very large, gaudily-trimmed bonnet._) And sich a bunnet! Ribbons and lace, flowers and feathers! Now that's jest what I call a tasty bunnet! I mean to try it on. It'll jest suit my complexion. Law sakes!

here comes Kitty! 'Twon't do to let her know I've been at her things!

(_Puts bonnet back into box, and places it behind the table._)

_Enter_ KITTY, L.,