Toaster's Handbook Part 155

SENSE OF HUMOR

"What of his sense of humor?"

"Well, he has to see a joke twice before he sees it once."

--_Richard Kirk_.

"A sense of humor is a help and a blessing through life," says Rear Admiral Buhler. "But even a sense of humor may exist in excess. I have in mind the case of a British soldier who was sentenced to be flogged.

During the flogging he laughed continually. The harder the lash was laid on, the harder the soldier laughed.

"'Wot's so funny about bein' flogged?' demanded the sergeant.

"'Why,' the soldier chuckled, 'I'm the wrong man.'"

Mark Twain once approached a friend, a business man, and confided to him that he needed the a.s.sistance of a stenographer.

"I can send you one, a fine young fellow," the friend said, "He came to my office yesterday in search of a position, but I didn't have an opening."

"Has he a sense of humor?" Mark asked cautiously.

"A sense of humor? He has--in fact, he got off one or two pretty witty things himself yesterday," the friend hastened to a.s.sure him.

"Sorry, but he won't do, then," Mark said.

"Won't do? Why?"

"No," said Mark. "I had one once before with a sense of humor, and it interfered too much with the work. I cannot afford to pay a man two dollars a day for laughing."

The perception of the ludicrous is a pledge of sanity.--_Emerson_.

SENTRIES

_See_ Armies.

SERMONS

_See_ Preaching.

SERVANTS

TOMMY--"Pop, what is it that the Bible says is here to-day and gone to-morrow?"

POP--"Probably the cook, my son."

As usual, they began discussing the play after the theater. "Well, how did you like the piece, my dear?" asked the fond husband who had always found his wife a good critic.

"Very much. There's only one improbable thing in it: the second act takes place two years after the first, and they have the same servant."

SMITH--"We are certainly in luck with our new cook--soup, meat, vegetables and dessert, everything perfect!"

MRS. S.--"Yes, but the dessert was made by her successor."

THE NEW GIRL--"An' may me intended visit me every Sunday afternoon, ma'am?"

MISTRESS--"Who is your intended, Delia?"

THE NEW GIRL--"I don't know yet, ma'am. I'm a stranger in town."

"And do you have to be called in the morning?" asked the lady who was about to engage a new girl.

"I don't has to be, mum," replied the applicant, "unless you happens to need me."

A maid dropped and broke a beautiful platter at a dinner recently. The host did not permit a trifle like this to ruffle him in the least.

"These little accidents happen 'most every day," he said apologetically.

"You see, she isn't a trained waitress. She was a dairymaid originally, but she had to abandon that occupation on account of her inability to handle the cows without breaking their horns."

Young housewives obliged to practice strict economy will sympathize with the sad experience of a Was.h.i.+ngton woman.

When her husband returned home one evening he found her dissolved in tears, and careful questioning elicited the reason for her grief.

"Dan," said she, "every day this week I have stopped to look at a perfect love of a hat in Mme. Louise's window. Such a hat, Dan, such a beautiful hat! But the price--well, I wanted it the worst way, but just couldn't afford to buy it."

"Well, dear," began the husband recklessly, "we might manage to--"

"Thank you, Dan," interrupted the wife, "but there isn't any 'might'