A Book of Burlesques Part 27

-- 21.

The worst man hesitates when choosing a mother for his children. And hesitating, he is lost.

-- 22.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

-- 23.

No man is ever too old to look at a woman, and no woman is ever too fat to hope that he will look.

-- 24.

Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives.

-- 25.

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married, too.

-- 26.

Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another hanging on to his coat-tails.

-- 27.

All women, soon or late, are jealous of their daughters; all men, soon or late, are envious of their sons.

-- 28.

History seems to bear very harshly upon women. One cannot recall more than three famous women who were virtuous. But on turning to famous men the seeming injustice disappears. One would have difficulty finding even two of them who were virtuous.

-- 29.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

-- 30.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him in a very handy form.

-- 31.

The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are just as easy to fool.

-- 32.

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow married her.

-- 33.

A man may be a fool and not know it--but not if he is married.

-- 34.

All men are proud of their own children. Some men carry egoism so far that they are even proud of their own wives.

-- 35.

When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend.

-- 36.

Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent rats.

-- 37.

He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.

-- 38.

A bachelor is one who wants a wife, but is glad he hasn't got her.

-- 40.

Women usually enjoy annoying their husbands, but not when they annoy them by growing fat.

_XIII.--PANORAMAS OF PEOPLE_

_XIII.--Panoramas of People_