Happy Thought Hall Part 33

(_Dat leet-tel Med-for' is half a head, at least, taller than the Signor._)

_Medford_ (_refusing a coin from Boodels_). No. I must ask the ladies.

Will any lady here, lend me a s.h.i.+lling?

_Enter our Butler._

_Our Butler._ Sir Thomas Bobyns's carriage.

_Lady Bobyns_ (_to Boodels. She ought to address _me_, as president, but she doesn't_). We really must be going; we've got ten miles to drive, you know; enjoyed themselves _so_ much, &c, &c.

[Ill.u.s.tration: LADY BOBYNS.]

General disturbance in consequence of Lady Bobyns being an uncommonly fine woman, and not to be moved without a considerable amount of rustle.

The party now leaving, consists of Sir Thomas Bobyns, Lady Bobyns, and Miss Bobyns. Milburd and Cazell are most a.s.siduous in their attentions to Miss Bobyns, in order that she may be '_quite warm_' before she starts.

[Ill.u.s.tration: MISS BOBYNS.]

There is also a considerable amount of delay, in the hall, consequent upon the ceremony of packing up Sir Thomas for his long journey--a melancholy phrase--and Lady Bobyns' great fear lest her husband should take cold.

Sir Thomas looks something between the diver at the Polytechnic in his armour, an Esquimaux, an old Watchman, and a monk.

Here is the result.

[Ill.u.s.tration: SIR THOMAS.]

They have gone. But other carriages are waiting at the door, and there is a general move. As the last person departs, we see Medford standing at a table in the drawing-room, with a tumbler and a s.h.i.+lling.

[Ill.u.s.tration: MEDFORD'S SONG AND SENTIMENT.]

CHAPTER XXIV.

CHILVERN'S BALLAD--THE MORAL.

Chilvern has got a Ballad which Medford sets to music. It is ill.u.s.trated by tableaux vivants, performed by Miss Adelaide Cherton, Cazell, and Milburd.

[Ill.u.s.tration: CORPORAL TIM AND FAIR MOLLY.]

"Farewell," cries Corporal Tim.

"Farewell," said Molly, to him; "You're going," says she, "I'm going," says he, "To fight in Tartary Crim."

(_Sadly._) "To fight in Tartary Crim!"

"I see," sobs Corporal Tim, "You're eyes with weeping are dim."

"No, no," says she, "Don't stop for me, But go to Tartary Crim."

(_More sadly._) "Oh! go to Tartary Crim!"

"One word," says Corporal Tim; "I have a young friend called Jim, He'll act to you, Like a brother would do, While I'm in Tartary Crim."

(_Most sadly._) "While you're in Tartary Crim."

"The s.h.i.+p is off!" cried Tim.

He raised his hat by the brim; He waved it about, While she sobbed out, "He's off to Tartary Crim."

(_Frantically._) "He's off to Tartary Crim."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Now this young man called Jim, Was strong and not too slim; He was a tar, On a man-of-war, Arrived from Tartary Crim.

(_Cheerfully._) Arrived from Tartary Crim.

Now this young man called Jim, He took a holiday whim; Says he, to Molly, "Oh, let's be jolly, While _he's_ in Tartary Crim."

(_Jovially._) "While he's in Tartary Crim."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

One day, said Jovial Jim, "I've got some news of Tim; His s.h.i.+p, three-decked, Was smashed and wrecked, On leaving Tartary Crim."

(_Dubiously._) "On leaving Tartary Crim."

"He's drowned! poor Corporal Tim!"

Then Molly sang a hymn.

"Now, Jim," says she, "You'll marry me, And bother Tartary Crim."

(_Decidedly._) "And bother Tartary Crim."

One night at home with Jim, Appeared a figure grim.

Cries she, "'Tis T----!"

"It is," says he; "I've come from Tartary Crim."

(_Spectrally._) "I've come from Tartary Crim."

"You didn't think," says Tim, "That corporals could swim But ghosts know how To swim--I'm now-- (_Spectrally._) My ghost!--from Tartary Crim."

And then they saw that Tim Had fins on every limb; His feet went squish-- Cries Jim, "I wish I was in Tartary Crim."

(_Excitedly._) "Away to Tartary Crim!"

He took a jump, did Jim, Right on to a vessel's rim; She made a tack, And he never came back, To her or Tartary Crim.

(_With certainty._) To her or Tartary Crim.

The ghost of Corporal Tim Took Molly away with him, And plunged in the sea, And there they be, Two ghosts in Tartary Crim.

MORAL (_sung by the ghost of MOLLY_).

"Oh, when you hear that Tim Is drowned, don't marry Jim, Or else, like me, You'll have to be A ghost in Tartary Crim."

[Ill.u.s.tration]